:Why do I do this to myself...why can't I keep my big mouth shut and just let him worry about his own problems? I have to stop volunteering for things and learn to not be so nice...hubby is always telling me I am too nice for my own good, but when I have a good idea for someone I just can't keep quiet...and then I end up doing the work for them.
Somewhere in the world, we are the perfect balance. It would have been a whole different conversation over my fence that probably would have ended in the neighbor deciding to move.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chellez
Didn't mean to leave you hanging on Yahoo... boss walked in and we had to get these invoices reviewed.
No biggie. I had a ton of errands to run and just got back.
Okay, I did a little workout and got to thinking (exercise does that to me)...I was planning on taking tons of pictures today of my son playing, because it's the first sunny day that he's had a game. It's been rainy and everytime he had a game, so this was my chance to get some good pics. I can't do that if I'm walking around selling candy, so I am going to go over to the neighbor and just tell her I have something else I'll be doing during the game so cannot sell the candy. If he wants to come along and sell while I concentrate on the game that is fine, but I won't be able to do it. I feel bad, but I REALLY want some good pics of him playing, and I will miss a lot if I sell the candy. There is no reason he can't come and do it himself...shy is no excuse because i am the same. I still guilty for some reason, but I have resolved to do it this way.
Okay, I did a little workout and got to thinking (exercise does that to me)...I was planning on taking tons of pictures today of my son playing, because it's the first sunny day that he's had a game. It's been rainy and everytime he had a game, so this was my chance to get some good pics. I can't do that if I'm walking around selling candy, so I am going to go over to the neighbor and just tell her I have something else I'll be doing during the game so cannot sell the candy. If he wants to come along and sell while I concentrate on the game that is fine, but I won't be able to do it. I feel bad, but I REALLY want some good pics of him playing, and I will miss a lot if I sell the candy. There is no reason he can't come and do it himself...shy is no excuse because i am the same. I still guilty for some reason, but I have resolved to do it this way.
VERY good plan. Make sure you add in their that selling the candy wasn't your job to begin with if she tries to lay the guilt on you...
tee--can I borrow some of your attitude? I don't think I have a spine in my body most times people ask me to do things, its like I say yes before I even think if I can do it, or even want to do it, I just say yes, then think "why did I say that?" I need to work on stopping, thinking, and saying NO without guilt.
chellez--I normally don't talk to my neighbors either, but hubby grew up next to them and this lady used to spank him and he was best friends with her boy, so he is close to them. I have always kept my distance, but sometimes she does call out and I have to go down to the fence to hear what she is saying...need to get some spunk from you and tee somehow!
VERY good plan. Make sure you add in their that selling the candy wasn't your job to begin with if she tries to lay the guilt on you...
And whatever you do...
Don't eat the chocolate!
wow, you would actually say that? I feel so scared all the time of offending someone...it's okay to say "it wasn't my responsiblity to begin with" never would have thought to even say that. I gave each of my kids one chocolate bar that they picked out, the other 3 are in the deep freeze where they will be forgotten about I hope...waste of $3 right there...is it rude to also say I changed my mind and want my money back? I don't have the nerve to do that for sure.
wow, you would actually say that? I feel so scared all the time of offending someone...it's okay to say "it wasn't my responsiblity to begin with" never would have thought to even say that. I gave each of my kids one chocolate bar that they picked out, the other 3 are in the deep freeze where they will be forgotten about I hope...waste of $3 right there...is it rude to also say I changed my mind and want my money back? I don't have the nerve to do that for sure.
Heck yea... Someone trying to sass me about selling candy I'd lay it on 'um and thick!
If the lady knows you are dieting you could tell her that you appreciate the offering of goodies but the chocolate conflicts with your dieting regimen and you can't let your kids have all that chocolate at one time.
INteresting, 2 types of people in teh world. The ones like you who are afraid to say no when approached and too scared to say what you have every right to say, and then her, who should have never approached you to buy candy anyway. That's type 2 who has absolutely no qualms asking people for things. Everyone knows that every freaking kid in the year has to sell somethign and that neighbors are burned out on it. If you work, put it in the break room and fine, but otherwise buy it yourself but that's it. And a really low blow to try to sell you chocolate in front of your children.
wow, you would actually say that? I feel so scared all the time of offending someone...
Why do you care? I think is the bigger question. If you offend your neighbor, what is the worst case scenario? Your neighbor doesn't ask you to be her chocolate mule again? Pretty sure you could live without that.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, Every woman should read Succulent Wild Woman.
Here is how my conversation would go:
You know, I said yes before I really thought it over. I simply do not have time to sell candy bars for your grandson, and I don't think that my doing it does him any favors. I hope he has a good fundraiser.
Here is what I would have said when she handed me the box:
You must not have understood. I will take your grandson with me, but I am not selling anything for anyone. His fundraiser is in no way my responsibility. I have strong objections to schools having children peddle anything, let alone high-sugar, unhealthy food.
The conversation when she said they were selling them and the kids swarmed:
To kids: I'm sorry. You know we don't eat this kinds of foods unless it is a special treat.
To granny neighbor: I am sorry we cannot buy any candy from you. It is not consistent with our eating choices. I hope you have a good fundraiser though.
Okay, I've been putting it off but I'm getting ready to go over there and tell her I can't do it. I really do not mind him riding with us and selling it himself, that is what I actually offered, but she took the candy from him and passed it over the fence. I think she misunderstood, so I should have corrected her right there...and I wouldn't be walking over now so nervous and feeling like a mean old grouch What happened to all the happy peace I felt just a couple hours ago?
Heck no, she didn't misunderstand. She took an opportunity and made it her own. Oh, YOU'LL sell these for me yourself??? NO ONE in their RIGHT mind would ever think someone would offer to see YOUR box of chocolate. Hello??? She took advantage of you. It was a 1,2 punch basically.
And she used to spank your husband. Girl...........
I am learning a lot from you ladies...thanks tee, you make it sound nice, but I would feel mean. Definitely my own issues to get over, but it's an automatic habit at this point, so how to slow msyelf down and think about my answer first.
I also want to add that if Granny Neighbor had specifically targeted my children for a sale without involving me, I would have probably stopped her little old heart.
"Excuse me, are you trying to entice my children with candy to get them to raise money for your grandson's school? I think it is unconscionable to have children selling candy in the first place, but it is completely unacceptable that you would try to sell directly to children and circumvent parental approval. Do not ever approach my children as consumers again."
If the grandson's school is religious, I have a whole other speech for that.
And she used to spank your husband. Girl...........
yep, she sure did! Actually, after she handed me the candy she was telling me that my hubby was about the age of my son when hubby first moved in next door to her, she said looking at my son was like looking at 4 year old hubby all over again.
and he was best friends with her boy, so he is close to them. I have always kept my distance, but sometimes she does call out and I have to go down to the fence to hear what she is saying...need to get some spunk from you and tee somehow!
What happened to all the happy peace I felt just a couple hours ago?
tee, you make it sound nice, but I would feel mean. Definitely my own issues to get over, but it's an automatic habit at this point, so how to slow msyelf down and think about my answer first.
yep, she sure did! Actually, after she handed me the candy she was telling me that my hubby was about the age of my son when hubby first moved in next door to her, she said looking at my son was like looking at 4 year old hubby all over again.
