[FitGirlyGirl]

Still alive. DH's b-day weekend has turned into a disaster and I'm not certain there won't be a divorce. I don't even know where he is right now. I'm honestly not sure I care. I'm at 156.2 today which is down a pound from yesterday. I'm trying to not let it all send me into some horrible binge. I spent most of yesterday not having a clue where he was, so I cleaned. The house is clean now though, so I'm not sure what I will do with myself after church today.

Lori - It doesn't matter if you can do all the exercises perfectly yet. You do what you can do until you can do what you want to do.

Baker23 - Congrats on Onederland!

aka - "svelte elephant" - I love it!

Rennie - I'm sorry you were so ill and glad you are improving

[Diana3271]

Originally Posted by FitGirlyGirl

Still alive. DH's b-day weekend has turned into a disaster and I'm not certain there won't be a divorce. I don't even know where he is right now.

Fitgirlygirl What???? What is going on? I didn't know if you were joking, but you sound serious.

Angie Today is a new day. You can do this! I'm sure you got a lot of water weight on you. Get right back on track!

[FitGirlyGirl]

Nope, not joking. He has been spying on me for one thing. I caught him with my phone, going through my texts. There is evidence that he has been in my e-mail even though he continues to deny it. The denial just makes me more mad. If he would admit to what he is doing then I'd be willing to go to counseling so we could deal with the trust issues that are obviously going on. For another thing (and I knew there was a danger of this, but he kept assuring me it wouldn't happen) he seems to be no longer attracted to me. He likes big girls, his ex was over 300 pounds. Even at my high weight I was small for his tastes. I worried when I started losing that one day he wouldn't want me and apparently that day is here. I don't know if that is part of why he's not trusting me or what. Maybe he thinks that I want to go see what I can get with my smaller body or that if it's not happening at home then I'll make it happen elsewhere. Maybe he has some large girlfriend, you know they say that when people are doing wrong it makes them suspicious of others. I have no idea.

[Diana3271]

FitGirlyGirl All I can say is wow! And I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. About your weight, you have to do what's right for you. It's not like you are hurting yourself or making yourself unhealthy in any way.

[FitGirlyGirl]

Exactly, I want to live. I am a type 2 diabetic (though I have had my numbers under control for about 2 years now). If I have to lose him in order to keep my life and eyesight, toes, etc. then that is what has to happen. I don't need a man that would prefer me fat and sick over small and healthy anyhow.

[love2b150]

I have decided to go back to my old scale since the new scale seems to stick quite often. It registered fine when I first got it, but the pretty glass body water measuring scale is a piece of crap So my weigh in today is 182.6 which is a 3lb higher than yesterday. And even though my ticker shows a 3lb gain I'm not taking that. I am taking it as I have been in the 180's and I need to do better to get out. So I am GOOD

Diana thanks a bunch quite a few people at church mentioned being sick a couple of days this week, so maybe it's something lingering around here. Hope it is gone Sorry about the up but you know how to work your plan also you got this It is amazing what the put in our foods. I really don't understand why something isn't done to get the sodium under control.

Bulletproof thanks I got it

Sam good to see you you know what to do

....... YOU KNOW THIS STUPID STUPID ebay COMMERCIAL HAS TO BE THE MOST ANNOYING COMMERCIAL this holiday season

Vixsin sounds like a great OP day, keep it going

Angie I'm so happy you are back. And I'm glad to know I wasn't bothering you. I have gone BTOS (back to my old scale) which read 182.6. Rainbow suggested I give the scale a jolt and it did move but after that I started stepping on both scales and the new scale is a piece of crap.
Sooooo I've gotta work on getting back to the 170's. I know I can do it, I just don't know when I'll start I told you we are in this together and you are stronger than you know

Roxy I'm sorry things aren't going well with you and your husband. Good job on the pound down I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say Ditto what Diana said, and sorry to bring this up, but how will this look with the adoption process? Does he still want this? How long have you been married? Do you think he thinks he will lose you if you continue to lose weight? Is it a security issue for him?

[Vixsin]

Rox: I'm sorry you are going through a hard time with DH. It sounds like insecurity on his part to me. I also agree with Diana in that you need to do what you have to do to be the best you possible. You are an amazing woman!!

[aka8941]

Starbrite-Sorry about your teenager troubles. I was a teenager not too long ago, (eek) and can tell you now that I'm rather sorry for what I put my parents through back then. Can't believe how crappy those times were, for the whole family. What I'm trying to say, less than artfully, is that it will pass.
So what is going on with that? I'm sorry about the depression too, but I'm sure you've got a handle on your new job.
145 pounds is incredible, you are smart for coming here. This is a good group.

FitGirlyGirl-Don't give yourself too much time alone, because time alone=eating alone=regret. Maybe go hang with some people from church after? Or just go out, in public, and sit and read. It takes discipline but I find being alone is terrible for my own frame of mind. Call some people, that's another option. Very glad you're getting healthy for you. And thanks for laughing at my silly joke.

Angie-Heeey! Welcome back! We missed you too! I know you will regain your focus. You are very driven. I'm still doing C25K, have one week to go in fact. I'll explain it...See Below


Diana-Sorry about your sodium explosion! From taco sauce, of all things. Your body must be sensitive! Oh hello, you have allergies right? Sorry about all the strife.


Rennie-I'm trying so hard not to give up. That's why I wrote an opus about all the reasons I love running below. I'm trying to tell myself that I can't give up just because I'm not losing weight. I'm still losing inches, and gaining healthier self-image. Running gives me an identity beyond college student, or my major, or my job. But honestly, I can't control my eating right now. I'm not controlling myself, and I don't know WHY?!

How do you gain control over your eating?


Vixsin-You sound really good! All those yummy foods, and no mindless eating. Bravo!






Explanation


Week 9 next week, and these are my instructions.
Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then jog 3 miles (or 30 minutes).

Then I'll run a 5k for diabetes with my college on Saturday at Minute Maid Park, and start Bridging to 10K (a 6 week program) the following Monday, and here are my instructions for that.

Bridge to 10K Week 1 Duration: 53 min.
5 min warm up
Run 10 min/walk 1 min Repeat x 4.
5 min cool down

A few thoughts on my running adventures

-I'm looking much better in the mirror, even though the scale is not budging. -I'm loving every minute of my time running, and what it's doing for my self-esteem.
-I'm in love...with myself..when I'm running.
But, it's not ALL good.

-Recently running has slowed down the scale because I am not controlling my diet as well. It's just not helping me lose rapidly like I had been. Everything has slowed down, but my muscles are bulking up, and my clothes are pooling around my legs and arms, and sagging and bagging in unexpected places.

-Weight loss is pretty much all about diet. Naturally, I want to eat more when I'm doing cardio 3-4x a week. Running is making controlling my diet that much harder, not to mention the suddenly missing period, leaving me in a constant state of pms. who knew?

[aka8941]

Oct 31-205.0
Nov 1-204.5
Nov 2-207.5
Nov 3-205.0
Nov 4-204.5
Nov 5-205.0
Nov 6-206.0
Nov 7-207.0
Nov 8-205.0
Nov 9-204.5
Nov 10-203.0
Nov 11-206.0 WTF
Nov 12-205.5
Nov 13-FAT lol ...no 207.0

[Kukkie84]

I didn't weigh in today. I actually didn't do much of anything today, include eat b/c of a lingering headache bordering on migraine. I know I wanted to veg out this weekend, but not because I wasn't feeling well. Driving me nuts. Not sure if I'm going to have a retention gain tomorrow, or a temporary loss. Who knows?

Roxy - I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your husband. Like the others have said, you're not wrong for wanting a healthier lifestyle for yourself. Obviously, I don't know the details of what happened, but I do know that when my husband doesn't admit his wrongs, that is the most frustrating thing for me. I wish I had some helpful insight, but I really don't. Just know that we are here for you, weight loss, adoption, husband issues, whatever

[Kukkie84]

Amber - welcome to the group!

Amanda - I really like the new pic in your avatar!

Diana - holy sodium in those tortillas - I'm going to have to check mine out and see what they say!

Angie - oh my girlie, we need to get you back on track! You worked hard to get into Onederland, and I know that you'll work hard to make those right decisions again, one at a time!

Vixsin

[Angie]

Roxy -- Ouff. I hope DH got home and got to apologizing soon after you posted today. It's so hard to repair trust once it's been damaged, I hope you can work things out. Please keep your health and what you need to do for you top of mind though -- what you need and want matters.

Diana -- Thanks! I think I'm back in the right head space now. I had a nice talk last week at work with a colleague who lost a lot of weight and then regained it and more; I was telling her that I was off track and she begged me to curb it as soon as possible and told me a lot about the regret she feels -- I think that helped to wake me up a bit.

Rennie -- Okay, lets work together to get back to where we are supposed to be right now! I'm with you.

Amanda -- Thank you I'm so excited for you that you are coming to the end of C25K! I have got to get back on my treadmill!

Amber --

Kukkie -- Thanks I feel pretty awful about myself right now, but making great choices helps to chip away at those ugly feelings, so I'll do that one at a time.

Today went pretty well -- I did 3-4 hours of yard-work; raked leaves, took down the gazebo cover and sides, put up the Christmas lights. Eating was on track -- good for calories, good for sodium, good for protein, a little higher on carbs than I'd like but still (just) within my 100g per day target. I'm going to try to focus on the things I did well each day and not just on the poor choices; but I do still want to reflect on the poor choices and make a plan to do better.

[Diana3271]

Fitgirlygirl A lot of us are thinking about you right now. How are things going?

Amber1011 Hi and Welcome to the check-in!

Angie I'm glad you had an on plan day. Yay for you!

Rennie You are good. You keep coming back and trying! Don't ever give up.

Kukkie Sorry about the headache. I hope it goes away and doesn't develop into a migraine.

[Vixsin]

Well I am ELATED to report that TODAY.WENT.WELL!!!!

Sure, I had a couple of things today but I accounted for every single calorie on MFP! I also cleaned today for the better part of 3 hours. Maxwell was outside playing and I just buzzed around the house up and down the stairs, folding laundry, cleaning toilets, etc. Glamourous!!!! LOL

All I know is that I'm pooped. Until tomorrow!

[Diana3271]

Vixsin Great job! Keep it up!