Onederchic I jest wanted to say that you got some great advice here from these ladies. I am a stay at home mom and I dont drive I have such a fear of learning to drive. I have been married to my husband for 23 Years. I Always let him know in advance that I need to go somewhere the next day or if the children have a doc apt. He might complain at first but he gets over it quick. I dont work cause my Husband leaves Early in the am and He usually dont get home until Evening time Its jest more of a scheduling thing.
But let me say as far as Looking for a thearpist . I dont know your what denomation ( Religon)you are but their is alot of people out their. My suggestion is U do have internet Look up some people and places may be a pastor will make a house call . ( Alot of them Will) They can and Will help alot
But Like I said all these ladies realy care about you and I jest want to send you a
Bonnie
I know our Church does counseling and outreach for free. They can help with food, clothes, medicine, and even prescriptions, eye glasses, dental, medical, and they usually have job training and plenty of people in the congregation hire the people they train. Find a Church that is close enough to walk to. They may have emergency bags ready to go, and I know here, they will bring stuff to you and get you a "host" family that can give rides or even a place to stay. This is something you could think about.
Sweet, lovely, compassionate, wonderful, beautiful Michelle, I just read through this entire string and am hurting for you. You have gotten some true words of wisdom from others here and I largely concur with it. You are one of the main reasons I love 3FC so much; you are a vibrant part of this community. We are all here to help in any way we can. Truly.
You have worked extremely hard to make some major changes in your life. Given the self-knowledge you have gained from your journey thus far, I hope you realize that you are capable of doing anything you want to do. Anything. The choice belongs to you and nobody else.
You are sooo right, Diva. I am so serious and I know I keep repeating myself but I am thankful everyday for stumbling across this site. It is my saving grace so so so many times
There's not much advice I can give that hasn't already been given. I will tell you something my mother always used to say to me - you should never be with a man because you NEED him, you should only be with a man because you want to. If I were you I would walk out now and never look back no matter what it took. I am not you though. I do hope that you will at least make yourself not need him so that you can decide clearly if you still want him once you don't need him. I've been in abusive relationships (twice) and I know it is hard to decide to put yourself first, but it is what you need to do. My husband and I are both very angry with this boyfriend of yours and we don't even know him. His actions are wrong and it doesn't matter what the reasons behind them are. He is abusive and there is no excuse for that. I do not believe that it is about your weight, but even if that were it or even part of it - he is still abusive and he is the one in the wrong. Ask yourself a question for me, if you stay with him and end up having children, what will he be like if you have a child who has weight issues? How will he treat that child? For that matter no matter what his reasons are - would you want him to be the model for a son of yours to learn how to treat women, or for a daughter to learn that it is ok for a man to treat her that way? Even if you are not ready to leave I think that contacting a shelter might be a good idea. They understand that sometimes a woman isn't ready to leave, but they can still give you some help - a counselor to talk to, clothes, someone to come get you out of the house sometimes. Plus, having already talked to them you will already know what is available and they can help you make a plan so that if a day comes when you need to leave and you need to leave NOW, you will know what to do.
I am sorry that you are in such a situation and no matter which path you decide to take I hope that things are better for you very soon. There are 2 more people thinking of you now and sending you good wishes and hoping for the best.
Onderchic - Sending you my best supportive thoughts for working through your current situation.
One additional thought not yet mentioned: Sources for quick cash include babysitting, elder care, and house sitting. These situations sometimes are in such need for a person at key times that pick up and delivery can be part of the package. Craigslist is a good place to look for these opportunities.
Another position were you'd be superb is as a Weight Watcher's leader. Might be hard to break into since you're not a member, but you're bright, empathic, and a proven weight loser. There might be a way.
This is a great suggestion!
Bad me.
. His actions are wrong and it doesn't matter what the reasons behind them are. He is abusive and there is no excuse for that. I do not believe that it is about your weight, but even if that were it or even part of it - he is still abusive and he is the one in the wrong. Ask yourself a question for me, if you stay with him and end up having children, what will he be like if you have a child who has weight issues? How will he treat that child? For that matter no matter what his reasons are - would you want him to be the model for a son of yours to learn how to treat women, or for a daughter to learn that it is ok for a man to treat her that way? Even if you are not ready to leave I think that contacting a shelter might be a good idea. They understand that sometimes a woman isn't ready to leave, but they can still give you some help - a counselor to talk to, clothes, someone to come get you out of the house sometimes. Plus, having already talked to them you will already know what is available and they can help you make a plan so that if a day comes when you need to leave and you need to leave NOW, you will know what to do.
