Okay sweetie, I didn't mean to upset you or make you emotional. I'm just very concerned and worried about my friend.
♥ ya back!
~Roni

I am so happy to hear that. Like you, I'm not a super social person either. Sometimes I want to be, but I just am not really sure how to go about it. So I do know what you mean about opting to stay home much of the time. I'm lucky in that I have a job to go to 5 days a week and so I do get some good social interaction there. If not for my job, though, I would find it to be really tough.

You are such a sweetheart. You are the perky little cheerleader in this forum; always so supportive and cheerful and offering up kind-hearted, sincere comments. You are the person I would like to have as a neighbor or to meet at a potluck. If you only learn one thing from us today, please know this.

Wow! This describes my situation to a t! I just left my ex after 6 years of dating. I am in counseling and my counselor told me it would have happened sooner or later, we just had different needs, and were on different paths. I KNOW there is someone out there who can make me DELIRIOUSLY happy, some day!

Thanks for posting this!

Sweetie, I don't have advice and I can't say what is going on in your relationship (except that you two should have a calm talk about it), but I am definitely thinking about you. A lot.

Thanks very much WindChime and Serephina

aww Michelle first of all, can i say that i absolutely love your avator!! its so cool and i love the sentiment.

I am so sorry to hear that you are upset, If i were you, i would be upset too. that must be very hard that you're not able to leave the house as often as you would like. is it difficult to travel around NY is it? cause of lack of transport ? it must be very difficult to have to rely on him all the time to take you here and there.

i'm not sure what to advice you,. but maybe tell him how you feel about it. and maybe coming up with some sort of solution? maybe catching the bus or train or something? or getting a small car just for yourself? or if you havent got a licence, learning to drive. and then you can get a job and pay for it yourself and feel more independent.

sorry if i'm overstepping my mark. i just hate to see you so upset. you have come so far!! and you're such an inspiration to us all.

Echo, you are not overstepping anything and I appreciate everything you have to say, always

Diva -

I truly appreciate your story, concern and understanding. You, like others here, have really worked your way into my heart. This is the only place I have ever felt I can truly be honest.

I know right now I am not ready to try to do anything much other than work on trying to love who I am now.

I have wrote down numbers offered up to me in advice on this situation and bookmarked websites. When/if I feel those are truly needed, I know I will have them and will use them.


My emotions still now are all over the place so this isn't the detailed response to you I had envisioned. Just know that you mean a lot to me, as others here, and your advice/thoughts/opinions are not ignored.

xoxoxox
Michelle

Michelle, no one should beg for affection or attention , it just breaks my heart to see that.

i once read this book that explains about how to shift the power in a relationship, the more you run after a person the more they will evade you. so the trick is to be more independent. its not about playing hard to get, but to find things that inspire you, that you feel excited about and then you get busy doing those things. and then naturally the person will draw closer to you.

i dont think its the weight thing at all. and no way should you ever ever starve, cause that wont work any faster at losing weight anyways.

you just concentrate on yourself and start taking baby steps as others have suggested, in getting out there in the world. maybe do some volunteering work , it helps the soul to help others. and you're so supportive to us here. you have that caring nature within yourself naturally.

I'm here for you, and Sparkpeople, and Plurk whenever you need me gf. I'm not going anywhere.
Love ya pretty girl!
~Roni

Awww I love you too, Roni

Michelle, there is a total socialite in you somewhere. You're such an important presence here, if you'd have the confidence to get out there, I can see you enjoying a night with the girls!

We all have so much respect for you and draw from you in terms of weight loss. You have physically turned yourself into a whole new woman!!!! If you're unhappy with other parts of yourself, you can change them too! What's shyness compared to over 100 pounds?? Different, yes, but you can so do it!

You absolutely must get a job, m'dear! It can be a nerve wracking process, but making your own money will really be freeing and satisfying!

You will be able to gain some independence and confidence, ease your husband's financial problems my making a contribution of your own.

You will be able to enjoy some nice social conversation with new people.

Because you'll be away during your shift, you'll actually be able to look forward to going home!

Imagine being able to buy the groceries yourself, and making your husband a nice dinner that he didn't have to worry about the cost of. Or see a movie. A date!

You could start by walking to work - get some activity in When you have more money, you could get bus passes, arrange a car pool with someone, get a bike! Sorry, dear, you aren't fat enough for your body to be an excuse

And who cares what kind of job it is, or if you have any job skills? Get a part-time one, if you prefer. Some places include uniforms, so you wouldn't need a new wardrobe. I work in a cafe, running around all day (admittedly, partly running from the desserts.) I enjoy seeing so many people every day! Work at a grocery store, where you'd also be on your feet a lot and it would contribute to your amazing progress. My BF works at a McDonalds and he Gets *amazing* insurance

I'll give your husband a benefit of a doubt here: Maybe if you're less of a financial burden and someone who needs to be taken care, he can start appreciating you for the person you are?

Being financially independent will give you many more options in how you actively work on your marriage - and gives you other options in how to take care of yourself if the marriage doesn't get better. This really is your next step

And you know we'd all be cheering you on and excited to hear about it.

I agree.
Michelle, I think you'd be an awesome Nurse, or some sort of field where you help and support peoples. Physical Therapy or whatnot.

You ladies have put a smile on my face, thanks so much!!! I needed it

Michelle, can you join your local freecycle to at least get some clothes that fit and a bicycle? freecycle.org I suspect if you emailed the person doing the donation and explained you have no means of transportation they would even deliver...freecycle folks tend to be nice like that.