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Old 06-02-2005, 06:27 PM   #931  
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Hi. Carol, sorry to hear about your car. How stressful. I agree with Roll - one piece of pizza is not bad at all and you got some exercise. Good luck getting it all squared away.

Well I started out well and ate some good and some bad - I have to remember all the good practices I used in the fall such as not eating the food in the teachers' room - almost always high cal.

I'll be honest though as I have to get back into the positive routine of posting - here goes:

breakfast - cereal, milk, banana, yogurt (good choices!)
snack - muffin (very hungry - didn't have good choices at hand)(bad choice- should have food on hand for healthy, filling, high fiber snack)
lunch - salad with chicken, orange, two tiny Twix bars (Twix choice - teachers' room no no)
snack - lots and lots of carrots (yes!)
dinner - Skinny Cow cheese (ok), crackers (not so good), pasta, broccoli (good), parm. cheese and one low cal fudge bar
I'm done for the day - no wine tonight, no night time snacks and lots more water.
cals - too many to count but tomorrow I'll hopefully skip the Twix, lousy muffin and carrots - then I won't do so bad. By the way those low cal fudge bars are great for a chocolate fix.
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Old 06-03-2005, 06:03 AM   #932  
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Another day - a better day. Why do I want to achieve this healthy goal. Simply because I feel better and people treat me better when I'm thinner. Now maybe this is because I feel better and let off that "feel good" feeling that people like to be around or sadly maybe it is because people are just plain happier with thinner people. I don't know but I know when I was 10 lbs slimmer I was getting a better response from the world - time to get there again. On a more sensible note when I'm thinner I'm healthier too and that feels good. Because of my connection with food I need the daily check in and journaling to keep my weight down. I need to track even though I wish I didn't. I guess it's a small price to pay for another possible 10 years of life.

Today's plan
breakfast - big smoothie with nonfat yogurt, tropical frozen fruit (300)
snack - almonds
lunch - salad
dinner - perhaps a bit of tofu and veggies (Thai dish)
no wine, no sweets today, lots of veggies to fill me up and fruit
I CAN DO IT - We can move beyond this roadblock to greater fufillment in life! Yes, we can!!!!!!!!! Thanks for being here.
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Old 06-03-2005, 12:59 PM   #933  
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Good Morning all,

I had a pretty bad day stress wise. People were not behaving the way I wanted them to. ONE example: I was supposed to meet a guy to pick up some papers for a meeting, I was doing him a favor, (50 minutes out of my day--travel time and waiting time) and he didn't show. I saw him that night and he didn't apologize. I told him how it made me feel. Sooooooo. When I got home, I asked my daughter if she wanted to go to a late movie (she did) and I had popcorn with butter AND an ice cream bar.

Carol, I remembered what you said about those time when you really want a sundae. Just skip that meal... it's not particularly sound nutritionally but it's just one meal.

I did that. The up side of this story is that I did, in fact, count my calories (new behavior after a "slip") and they weren't as high as I thought they'd be-----they were well under my upper limit.
I'm not feeling such remorse today and I'm still feeling high levels of motivation.
I'm also happy to have told that *&^$*&)(& how I felt. I didn't resort to name calling, I just told him how much time I spent in traffic, what it was I gave up to meet him, that I felt as if he wasn't regarding me very highly and that his behavior wasn't acceptable to me. He's one of those smiley faced passive aggressive guys. I saw a little bit of anger seep out last night which I prefer to dishonesty.

Anyway, I know that relationships of all kinds are a powerful catalyst to eating for me. It's good to keep in mind. Judy, I thought of you in your new office last night.

Tired, I'll bet your calorie intake is not as much as you think.

Today I'm going to the gym. Period.

Food:

Breakfast: strawberry and banana protein smoothie

Lunch: chicken salad

dinner: sauteed vegetables and turkey meatballs

snacks: fruit and yogurt

Lots and lots of water--that sounds terrible to me right now
I think I'll make a pitcher of lime-aide made with splenda and a jar of herbal tea. I KNOW I'll drink those.

Thanks for listening.

I hope I have less of a soap opraish day today.

Roll
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Old 06-03-2005, 04:53 PM   #934  
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Hi Roll, I enjoyed reading your story. I'm very similar. Relationship issues definately drive me to eat. I don't know if you remember but last winter when I signed up for the nutrition course and the woman treated me badly that resulted in my major downfall. Why did I let one woman ruin my course of action. Why do people get to us so much? Something to explore, but I'm very much the same.

This is one of my thoughts on it. I think, as a child, I wasn't allowed to express my true feelings much. I was usually met with the response, "that's not how your feel" or "I'm sure your just imagining that." So I was left with all these feelings I "wasn't supposed to have" or that "I just imagined." So rather than learning how to work through those feelings I used food as solace. I guess what would have been better would have been discussions such as "why do you think you feel that way. . ." and "what would be a good way to deal with it. . ." building skill for later life. So now bad feelings seem to creep up on me and overwhelm me and that's when I reach for the "dulling" and "denial" power of food. What do you think?

Good news today -
I was given a gift of chocolates and I gave them away - yeah! Little steps like this is what made me strong when I started this process last fall. Every little "junk food denial" helps.

breakfast - coffee, large smoothie
lunch - salad, orange, water
dinner - thai food (to come)
a good day. Hopefully I'll get some exercise in this weekend.

Take care and Roll, thanks so much for sharing. It takes a lot to share the difficult times. So many people keep it all hidden and wrapped up - it's so helpful to hear others' trials particularly when they are similar to my own. I learn a lot from all of you. I'm happy to be able to share with you like this.
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Old 06-03-2005, 04:54 PM   #935  
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Hi Carol and Judy, hope you're doing well. I'm looking forward to journeying with you all this summer when I can give it more attention. Take care.
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Old 06-03-2005, 09:50 PM   #936  
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Hi,
I'd like to add that I didn't feel great after my encounter with him. I felt like a "*****" (sorry). But I think that comes from years of programing and it's not going to change overnight. I do know that I'm not obsessing on the situation. That is change.

Today didn't go as planned. No gym. I guess I could have put a question mark at the end of my "I'm going to the gym. Period." statement.

My food intake----not as planned but within my calorie goals.

I'm doing okay. I know I'm getting healthier, just not instantly. I feel thinner when I don't overeat and when I look into the mirror, I'm surprised at what I see!

Tired, good for you for playing hot potato with that chocolate. I'll bet the recipients were thrilled. No losers (in some respects).

Thanks for listening. I'm up to 1100 cal. so far.

Talk with you soon,

Roll
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Old 06-04-2005, 05:57 AM   #937  
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Good Morning all. Another day, another attempt to live in a healthy way. What do you think of today's world? Do you think people are stretched beyond reason? Since I teach I feel a shift - I think people are, in general, worn out - that is parents and teachers like me. I'm trying to find the healthy balance in it all as a parent and teacher.

When many moms were home they took care of society - elderly neighbors, their children, the children of unhealthy neighbors, etc. They kept a rhythm going. Now it seems like people are going in many different directions and its very hard to be part of the rhythm - I guess it is something you have to strive for.

I believe that this situation contributes to unhealthy living - eating too much (stress!), not exercising (time). Just curious - what do you think? As I unravel my eating patterns issues like this arise.
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Old 06-04-2005, 06:51 AM   #938  
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Girls I so enjoyed reading all your post. I was AW for a bit the car thing threw me for a loop. Well the end result is a brand new car almost. I am going to sign paperwork this morning for a 2004 Malibu Hatchback which is loaded to the gills. I think I deserve it! My other car was going to cost me 450.00 and still had work to be done. They didn't want to give me only 2,000 for it which was 1/2 of what I owed. So the orginal guy I bought it off which has earned all the money I've put into it for two years is buying it. Well why not he knows all the things we have done to it! Oh! I guess I should be glad he took it off my hands but I lost 950.00 on the deal. But in the long run even though my payment will be much higher it won't nickle and dime me. This one only has 7,000 miles on. On a good note my credit was really good and it felt nice to hear that when I called for a preapproval of a loan. So I knew what I had to play with. I have worked over the past few years very hard at that. I guess I'd better really put a big veggie garden in to help with my budget this winter. I can freeze and can some things. I have a little side job to help out too. I will be fine its just a big step for me. But I will have security in safety with the new car and save in gas and I called the ins. will go down 3.00 a month. I looked at SUV's but decided not to do it.
Well with all this going on I really haven't gotten to the gym but have been doing a lot of activities. I started to plant the garden last night and will work on it today. I ate somethings that maybe weren't the best choice but didn't over induldge. I took yesterday off to do all my running around. Thank God for my mom and her car. She is a sweetie.
So today I am going to have a positive outlook on life and move forward!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You girls have a great mind set and I am so glad your back. I felt pretty lonely for awhile on here. Maybe now I can move forward too knowing we are all working so hard to support each other. I read about your social problems and I agree we let people get to us sometimes. Tired I am sorry that at the counseling that happened to you. I don't remember hearing about it before but shame on those women who made you feel uncomfortable. Aren't people funny! They think their all so great and really when they act like that they are nothing to be proud of at all. We'll fix them because you don't need them and you are going to reach your goal with out them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep up your great efforts they are going to pay OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rollmdl good for you speaking your mind. I am like that now most of the time. As my coworkers about a little over a year ago some of them treated me not so nice. I had been out on leave for surgery. When I returned it was like starting at a new high school. My closest friend was a great support and a few others too but some were not so nice. In the end they found out they couldn't treat me like that anymore. Since then if I don't like something or don't agree I let them know right to their faces and try to stay away from gossip too! To clicky for me! Thats just not who I am.
Well sun is shinning its a beautiful day and I must go play in the soil. My grandgirls are in the Oz Parade today with girl scouts. So I will be attends. Sorry this is so long making up and venting better here than with calories. You are all wonderful people and even know we have never met in person I feel such a connection with all of you. Thank you for being here on this site!
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Old 06-04-2005, 07:09 AM   #939  
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Hi Carol, I've been thinking and writing all morning - really getting centered. I've been doing some writing about my personal history trying to uncover the moments when life was hard and I made some bad choices. I'm looking for those triggers. I don't want to repeat some of the things I've experienced with my own children. It's been a good process.

I'm glad you bought the new car. Although it will cost a bit more it will give you great security. Last year we lost about 5,000 on a used car - lemon we bought. We also lost lots of time and energy trying to deal with it so we bought a new car. Yes, it was expensive and put us behind a bit, but the security is so so wonderful. Working women need reliable, safe transportation. Good for you.

Good for you also for recognizing your credit triumph. Too often we berate ourselves and not give ourselves credit for a job well down. It's tough in this culture to keep out of credit problems and you did it. Having good credit can really help in a pinch.

Thirdly thanks for sharing the co-worker story. I'm realizing that in many work situations there are many struggling employees who have to cooperate and get along despite life's tribulations. Dealing with disrespect head-on and compassionately is the best way. I'm really going to think about my interpersonal dealings this summer - read up on it. As I mentioned before I've never had good mentoring in this area.

Take care Carol. Enjoy the veggie garden. Gardening has brought me such pleasure in the past.
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Old 06-04-2005, 05:49 PM   #940  
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Made it to the pool today. I weigh 181 - I'm going to check back at the last time I weighed that much.

today's food
breakfast - blueberry banana smoothie (300)
lunch - pasta with stewed tomatoes and cheese (500)
snack kids' fruit snack (160) - bad choice, but again, I didn't have healthy choices available
lots and lots of water
dinner - hopefully fish
exercise 20 laps at the local pool - a start
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Old 06-05-2005, 07:33 AM   #941  
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Tiredoffat thanks for all your thoughts. I am a bit nervous about the payment but shouldn't be cause I know it will be okay. I will figure out ways to cut corners here and there and we always adjust. I could stop spending my 50.00 a month for fun money added with what I've been putting into the car will make the difference. I also think it will be better on gas. That alone will help. I purchased the extra warranty because of my past experience and how much I drive. I haven't bought a really new car since 1986 and it was a chevette. I loved it though it was a good car for me.
Hopefully this one will be. Your right security alone will make the difference.
I exercised yesterday walking about 2 miles and then did gardening in the morning and then again in the evening. I put in about 2 dz. tomatoes, radishes, brussel sprouts, gr. onions, cukes, acorn squash, peppers, peas and green beans. So hopefully I will have lots of veggies. I used some of the blk. plastic so I will have less weeding. Its not a huge garden but big enough to exercise in. Hopefully we will get lots of stuff from it. The hubby wants to can tomatoes again. My grapes look good this year I hope to make jam. I also have a small strawberry, blueberry and raspberry patch and 6 dwarf apple trees. So if all goes well look at all the goods we'll have. Food for the winter months. Today I am going to also work in my flower beds. So that will be todays exercise. When I get my car I will get back into my normal routine at the gym.
Tired your really searching to find ways to reach your goal and live a happier healthier lifestyle. I think its wonderful more of us should do that. It is a good way to get things fixed in your mind,resolve past problems and to move forward to reach your goal.
I went out to the casino with some girl friends last night. We had fun lots of laughs and I played on my 20.00 for about 2 hours. Then we ate a buffet. I had some crab legs but not with butter. Then had a variety of stuff but small port.eft somethings on my plate something I have noticed as a change for me before I would get larger amts. over eat completly. I was full but don't stuffed and left somethings on my plate, only had one piece of cake and picked the smaller one. That is an accomplishment for me.
Have you tried the lemonade crystal light? If I use this in my water does it still count as a water intake? Do I make any sense?????????????????? Have a super day remember be good to yourself! Fresh fruits and veggies are a must!
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Old 06-05-2005, 10:08 AM   #942  
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Good Morning. So good to hear from you Carol. The sunlight has given me a real lift in the past two days - I realizing how much sun means to me. Something else to think about - how to get the "sun feeling" when we have weeks and weeks of darknesss.

I also went out to eat last night. We chose seafood - good choice and skipped dessert. Like you, I'm learning (ever so slowly) how to make better choices. We can pat ourselves on the back for that.

Just got back from a 10 mile bike ride with my middle son. Very beautiful - nice time together. Our destination was a bagel place. Ordered the light cream cheese this time and had an ice coffee with a bit of milk and little, little bit of cream. I hope to fit in a short swim this afternoon too.

Thanks for the encouragement Carol. Your garden sounds great! I'll be envious when you're picking all those luscious veggies this summer. In fact, perhaps I should not get envious and instead get busy and plant some myself. I've done it in the past and I really loved it. It will be great for your health too - to have all those yummy, healthy treats.

Take care and soooo good to hear from you. It feels so good to be back.
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Old 06-05-2005, 07:11 PM   #943  
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Hi All,

I'm having a tough time getting to the gym. I know I'll make the water aerobics class tomorrow morning and that is always a great way to start my week. I think I've taken off a few pounds since I started this time but I gained 10 lbs since I stopped posting.

I stocked up on fruits, vegetables, fish and chicken today so I don't feel in such danger of eating whatever is convenient.

Yesterday my daughter had a swim meet and it lasted 6 hours. The meet was held at a small pool with few lanes and it took a LONG time to get through the meet. I was exhausted by the end and had a burger.

I'm doing housework today and I guess that counts as some exercise.

Well, I haven't really binged but I'm not feeling as up as I was a few days ago. I think the exercise helps my mood and I seem to have more energy to prepare healthy food.

Just checking in. I'm not disappearing this time.

Carol, your garden sounds beautiful. Tired, it sounds like your bike rides address so many needs----time with family, being in nature and physical exercise.
Gotta get back to the laundry.

Thanks for being here.

Roll
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Old 06-05-2005, 08:58 PM   #944  
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girls keep up the good work your both headed in the right direction. Its so nice to hear what your up to. I went to a really cool neighborhood in the city today with my youngest daughter. It is just before the city and a very cultural place where folks live in a small community whom care for each other. The houses were unique and the gardens beautiful the artist whom live in the area every year put on an art show. The people set up their wares for sale in their gardens, yards and porches. This was our first visit quite cool we thought. Lots of ceramics, pottery, plants, soaps, painting etc.
The gardens were great the whole yard planted with flowers and ponds. Course there small yards keep in mind. But for a spot in the city really cool stuff going on. Nice to see such nice people and so creative too. We ate lunch at a greek restaurant. I had a gyro oh at least it had veggies in it. Well so my exercise was walking and the a short swim next door today. Other than my gyro I ate quite healthy today. Rollmdl isn't it so much easier when we go grocery shopping and have more to choose from? I bought all kinds of fruit, yogurt, chicken, tuna, little whole wheat pitas, lemon hummus and many veggies. So this week there is no excuses for me. I also got some low cal. salad dressing for work. On mondays I am going to take in my salad stuff, fruits, veggies, yogurts. That way I will have my stuff ready and won't be tempted to eat other stuff.
Well catch yahs later! Tired try doing a couple of container planters with tomatoes in easy to care for. I do that sometimes with herbs.
Blueberry pancakes, little syrup
gyro
peach
hamburger grilled w/ slice of cheese/ Italian br., lettuce , tomatoe, onion
Strawberries fresh mixed in with a blue berry yogurt and some walnuts
Brushed my teeth early so I won't be tempted to eat anything else tonight!
Diet coke, coffee blk, lots of water, 1 glass of crystal light
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Old 06-06-2005, 11:15 AM   #945  
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Lightbulb Good Morning All

I had a kind of slippery weekend and I'm back in the saddle today.

Carol, we have an event like the one you described: Artist's Studio.
They hold it for two weekends in May. Two of my neighbors participate and it's so much fun, seeing where people work and what they're working on. It's got to be so fulfilling, spending that kind of time with your daughter.

I'd love to plant a vegetable garden but my cats would just thank me for the fresh kitty litter box. ugh

breakfast: vegetable omelette
lunch: smoothie
dinner: salmon and salad

snacks: cantaloupe and oranges

The computer guy is coming over today so I need to tidy my office up and get my agenda together.

Talk to y'all later.

Roll
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