DS is in jail. He called at 6:30 this morning. Read my post from a week ago. Just one week ago I warned him. For the last four years, DIL has started a big fight, taken off, and left him with the kids just a day or two after the end of the school year. Why? Because she goes partying and she knows I’ll be there to take care of the kids. Just last Sunday, I warned him. I said, “Line up a babysitter because I’m not doing it this year. I refuse to spend my summer taking care of the kids while she goes off and parties.”

I don’t know what happened last night but I can pretty well figure it out from past experience. DIL’s method of defense is to bring on the offense. If you jump her case for anything, she tries to turn the tables. She probably took off Friday evening and didn’t come home until this morning. That’s not unusual. I didn’t talk to DS very long. I think the time limit on the phone call is three minutes. He told me she came in at 4:00 a.m. and started a fight with him. She slapped him and he grabbed her by the arms and pushed her out of the house. She was screaming and cursing and one of the neighbors called the police. Now, here’s the part I don’t understand…DS said she came back to the house a few minutes later with three guys, a fight insued and he got taken to jail because her arm was scratched and she was bleeding from where she got into the fray and said he did it. Did he? I don’t know. It’s quite possible that her arm got scratched when he pushed her out of the house. I’ve seen it before. She fights and scratches like an alley cat and it’s not easy to get her off. I imagine he would have had quite a struggle to get her out of the house. Then again, it’s probably more likely that it happened like he said, she got into the fray when the guys she brought over jumped him. The thing I don’t understand is why she called some guys over. Did he throw her out and refuse to give her the car keys? I don’t know. What’s important is that I don’t care. I’m totally sick of all this crap. If you lie with dogs, you’re gonna get fleas. And I’m not buying the Frontline this time. I’m done. I’ll loan DS money for bail (although it’s gotta come out of our vacation money) and that’s all I’m doing. You’re on your own, kid. I’m sympathetic to his situation but, as long as he stays with her, this is all he’s going to get.

11:00 - I’ve had some time to discuss this with DH and think about it some more. DH says there won’t be any bail. He says they’ll take him before the judge this afternoon and he’ll be released. Shows you how much I know about this stuff. I’m not real familiar with what happens when you get arrested. I never thought one of my kids would get to know the process either.

I’ve thought about what happened. I’d be willing to bet that DIL was ready to pull her disappearing act and party for two or three weeks. She probably intended to start a fight with him and walk out. He must have taken her keys or something and she wanted her car. I’m sure she bit off more than she can chew this time because the end result of her tantrum was that DS was arrested and now she’s stuck with the kids. I can’t believe for one minute that she wanted the kids. The only times she’s ever even talked about taking the kids was tied into remarks along the lines of “I’m going to take the kids and I’m going to get every cent you earn for child support.” or “I’m taking the kids and you’ll never see them again.”

DH and I had plans to meet some friends at a community art fair this afternoon and we’ve decided to go. I’m not going to sit here and worry about DS. Time for tough love. I’m not going to get into this mess anymore.

1:00 - Had to clear up some things on Sunny’s comment.  DS has full custody of both kids.  Can you believe he still puts up with this psycho freak????  It’s not just me trying to take up for my son, the courts have seen it too.  She lost both kids from her first marriage and isn’t even allowed to see them.  She signed over all parental rights in return for her ex dropping child support charges against her.  Now, she has two more kids with DS and the courts have awarded him full custody of them.  She avoided paying child support for almost a year and then, when the courts started closing in on her, she came back begging for another chance and DS took her back!  I might understand it better if she had custody and he was paying child support and only getting visitation with the kids but that’s not it.  He has full custody and she has to pay child support.

8 Comments

susan says 7th June @ 10:39

Cripes, Patty.
(((((HUGS)))))

tuscaloosasue says 7th June @ 12:01

Man, sounds like my brother and his daughter. I hope your kid gets wise and dumps her. Good for you for standing your ground!

Sunny says 7th June @ 12:27

you poor thing. :( Tough love is ABSOLUTELY the way to go. Your son needs to do the same thing. When she leaves this time, he ought to get a locksmith in to change the locks. He’s got to dump her. He’s going to have to pay child support no matter what, anyhow. My heart goes out to you, your husband, and your grandkids. :(

patty says 7th June @ 12:32

No, Sunny, he won’t have to pay child support. He has full custody of both kids! Psycho DIL lost custody of the two kids she had from her first marriage and isn’t even allowed to see them. DS got full custody of the kids almost four years ago and he still won’t kick her out!

Sunny says 7th June @ 14:28

Good Lord Almighty! What is wrong with your son?! (sorry, but I know you feel it too.) :( Sounds like he needs to get a sane part-time babysitter, instead of relying on you, and her. (of course you are the only reliable one in the bunch, and that’s not fair to YOU.) :: hugs ::

inkheartmeg says 7th June @ 16:44

Eventually he’ll get tired of it. Hopefully sooner than later. Hope you enjoyed your art show despite the problems. You’re right to cut him off on the help.

brseay says 7th June @ 21:48

Wow, I don’t even know what to say. I am so glad, though, that you decided to go out instead of sitting at home and worrying about this. Hope you have a blast and enjoy your free week before you have to go back.

Joy says 8th June @ 6:56

Holy crap! When will he learn??????? It sounds like your DS needs an intervnetion to wake up!!! Please forgive me for saying this but doesnt he realize that he is harming the kids by allowing them to be in this???? He needs to divorce here and fast!!!!

LOL I am so bossy. Here I am feeling like my life is falling apart and I have the nerve to give my two cents??? LOL
You are doing the right thing!
HUGS


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