Ode To Macy’s
A poem by my husband, Brett
“Outstanding” they all mumbled, gathered like a herd
Round the days chosen dictator, to hear the morning word
Our pay is too low, the coupons don’t work, it makes the patrons mad
It’s okay, just say “outstanding” it will change to good from bad
Where are you going? The managers ask, with disbelief & fear
“I’m going to be ‘out standing’…. far, far away from here.
*teeeheeee*
Yep, my shortest job EVER! Lasted 2 months…wow! I think my next shortest job was like 2 years…. with the longest being 9 years. So, that has to tell you how ridiculous this job is.
I really do like everyone I work with at Macy’s. They are all just SO nice! So, it has nothing to do with that. I was hired on as “seasonal”, therefore I was hired on as “seasonal” with “seasonal” pay…. $7.50/hour. I had the assurance from the HR lady that at the end of the “season” on Jan. 19, if I wanted to stay on permanently I would then get a raise. Okay… no problem. Jan 19 came, I had 3 managers fighting over who was going to get me, I had the praise of the store manager. Everyone loved me!
Cut to 3 weeks ago. I was curious about my raise and when it would become effective. So, I stopped to talk to the HR lady. She then got really quiet and started stuttering saying that she needed to check with Ron (the head HR person) and about that time Ron came in the office. She mentioned to him that I was there to talk about my raise. He then got all fumbly with his words and told me how they had accidentally hired on seasonal people at the wrong rate and that $7.50/hour was on the high end of the pay scale, blah blah blah. I then go in the hallway with Ron because Kate has an interview with a poor soul who has no clue as to what’s in store. So, in the hallway, I look at Ron and say “I can’t work for $7.50 an hour”. His eyes got big, worried that the girl in the interview heard what I just said. He then told me to come to his office to talk. He said that “that sounded like a threat, that kind of scares me”. I said “no, Ron, that’s not a threat…. it’s just me telling you I can’t work for $7.50 an hour”. He has me sit down and asks what I thought I should be making. So, I said $8.50 an hour, $8.00 at the absolute lowest. I know what Brett makes, I know what other ladies that started at the same time as me makes and I have no clue why I can’t make the same amount (one lady who works there, started a month prior to me starting and has the same amount of retail experience as me makes $9.50 an hour, I’d like to know whose strings she pulled for that…. wait… that’s not how I meant it maybe). He then pulls out a calculator, does some math and says that he’s almost sure that he can’t get me $8.00 an hour but that he’ll try to “make something work” and that if he can work something out that it needs to be confidential! BLAH and GAG. I was making $7.50 an hour 10 years ago working as a checker at a grocery store….10 YEARS AGO! The cool thing about this was that I did not cry a single tear while I was in his office. Those of you who know me know that I cry like a baby in situations like that. I was so proud of myself!
So, shortly after this, all the managers started critiquing any little tiny thing I did. From not using their choice word “outstanding” enough to not telling every single soul who was walking out “thanks for shopping with us…come back and see us” (including people who are on their cell phones?). So the really big “UGH” day for me was when someone from Corporate was coming and all the managers were freaking out and telling us to say “outstanding” all the time. 
I literally started gagging every time I said it. Outstanding is not a word that you use on a daily basis. When is the last time you said “outstanding” when someone asked how you were. I felt incredibly fake every time I said it. I can say “wonderful” or “great”….. but not outstanding. My manager knew of my disdain of it. She compared our use of the word “outstanding” to the McDonald’s arches…. claiming that like the “golden arches” it sets us apart from everyone else (I heard the Battlehymn of the Republic in the background while she was telling me this). I thought to myself “yes… you’re in a MALL… you sure are set apart from everyone else… that’s because you’re near the food court so they can bring in their chicken fried rice and eat it while they look for bargains…yeah… whoooweee… Macy’s is climbing the RANKS!” I didn’t say that, but I felt like it. I, personally, hate it when sales associates come up and talk to me while I’m shopping, I especially hate when they are overly fake about their giddiness and that is exactly what Macy’s expects of you. OH, that and to try to sell people on signing up for a Macy’s card. You do that and you (the associate) get $5 in store credit…ooooooooo…. $5 to spend at Macy’s (as long as your order is OVER $10 and it can’t be an item that’s already on clearance or a super buy….) 
I have such a new love for Wal-Mart at 3 in the morning. People are so disgruntled to be there you don’t have to worry about them talking to you.
Cut to last week…payday…. I checked my check. I got a raise…. yep…. a big fat 35 cent raise. That’s right, Ron pulled some strings alright, risked breaking the budget so I could get paid $7.88 an hour (that amounts to an extra $8 per week) 
Whew… I hope he didn’t have to fight too hard for that one. I probably made some little old man whose worked at Macy’s his whole life get a cut in pay for that.
So, after being at home for a solid week while the kids have been sick, being with them 24 hours a day again, I realized that my time away from them is certainly not worth $7.88 an hour. It’s not even worth $78 million dollars. So, I’ve given my 2 weeks notice. I didn’t go to work again today because my Mother In Law (aka the babysitter) is sick. I was then informed (via Brett) that in order for the notice to be in effect I have to give them an actual letter….and that next time I want to call out of work because people are sick, I need to give them more notice than 10 minutes (I actually called the “call out number” 2 hours before my shift was to start - this is a line you call and leave a message on - after the pre-recorded message from the store manager tells you how important of a team member you are and to try your best to come to work - then someone is supposed to check the messages and relay it to your manager). So, someone didn’t check those messages until 10 minutes before my shift started - but they feel the need to tell me to call sooner. 
I did let them know on the message that I hope that they have an “outstanding” evening… HAHAHAHhahahaha…. that did bring a smile to my face.
So, I may not “fulfill” my 2 weeks notice. Maybe my MIL will just have to stay sick for the next 2 weeks. I won’t be missed at Macy’s. I’ll be quickly replaced by some high school kid who needs gas money for the new car mommy and daddy just bought for them. I’ll miss my fellow co-workers. But I can say, I won’t miss any of the managers or HR people. Fake, fake, fake, fake fake!
The managers there are certainly proud of their store and act as if their entire life is wrapped up in Macy’s… loyalties and sales. I just can’t do that. If my heart isn’t in it, I can’t do it. So, C’est La Vie Macy’s. Thank you for the cool cheap crap you let me buy at my 20% discount (and even the 10% extra on those special “You Count as an Employee” days). But, my life is certainly not in retail. GAG, I feel the need to puke now! I refuse to spend my life “workin’ for the man”. Photography here I come!
You all have an OUTSTANDING day!
Lady J
For the longest time, my 21st Birthday was the Birthday to top all Birthdays (for me anyway). On my 21st Birthday a group of my friends and I went to Chuck E. Cheese and then went bowling. It was a BLAST!
Well, today was my 28th Birthday. I hardly even remember my last 7th birthdays (other than my 21st). On my 25th Birthday, I had a 4 day old son to care for, on my 26th Birthday, we were having our sons birthday party and I was exactly 1 week out from having our second kid. My 27th Birthday was…. well…. if you don’t already know about it, you’ll be filled in later. But just know that it’s a birthday I choose to forget.
So… here I am at my 28th Birthday. First, Brett let me open one of 7 of my presents last night. It was a Florida Gator garden flag. Yes, he knows me oh-so-well. 
I cleaned our room up really nice last night, did all the laundry, washed our sheets, etc. I love going to sleep in a clean room (and waking up in a clean room as well). So, that was a gift to myself.
We woke up early this morning, we had a session with Jessie. We had a GREAT workout this morning. I think that that helps to really get the day going. Not only that but she told me that on my birthday, all birthday cake is calorie-free! (I never knew that! lol). We got home and I got to open 2 more of my presents. He got me some decaf Hazlenut coffee from Gloria Jean’s Coffee Shop. YUM And, he also got me a really nice Atlas to start planning all our trips.
Shortly after I opened those, Jacob came in the room. He sang “Happy Birthday” to me. He sang it so sweetly. It was one of the best birthday presents I could have ever asked for! He’s a boy after my own heart!
A present I got from Brett (but didn’t get to open) was getting to go get my hair cut again by Jamison. He cut my hair before Christmas and did an amazing job! So, I wanted to go back to him and let him cut it again, same style, just a little shorter. I LOVE it! So sassy am I! 
When I got home from getting my hair cut, it was time for another present or 2 or 3. Candle tarts from Yankee Candle (LOVE THEM!) and …. oh-my-goodness a box of Godiva Chocolates (since I didn’t have any birthday cake, I think the chocolates are calorie-free, right?). He also got me some mascara that I had wanted from the Estee Lauder counter at Macy’s. I’m a hot sassy mama now, let me tell ya! lol
So, we spent the day with the kids. We went to Claremore to pick up the mail at our PO Box we have there. Then we decided to take the kids to the park (it was 70-some-odd degrees today!). First, we had to stop and get some gas. Brett came out with another present for me… 5 $1 Oklahoma Scratcher tickets. I laughed. The very first card I scratched off was a winner…. $99, I kid you not! Brett had already said he wanted to take me out for dinner tonight, but once we saw the winning ticket, we decided that we’d go out to dinner anywhere we wanted to tonight. We called this place here in Tulsa called Flemings Steakhouse to see what time they closed. Turns out, it’s one of “those places” where you have to have a reservation to eat at. Fancy shmancy! So, we put our names down. How exciting!
We went to the park with the kids and had such a FUN time, just the 4 of us.
We got back and got ready to go out to eat at Flemings. We were both on cloud 9! We arrived at Flemings at 7. It was so nice inside. We sat down and were going over the menus when I noticed 2 people walk in the front door. I kept telling myself “I recognize those 2 people”. And then, because they were standing in the shadows, I’d talk myself out of thinking that I knew who they were. Finally they got taken to their seat (about 15 feet away from us) and when they got into the light, I KNEW I knew who they were. It was Isaac and Taylor Hanson from the “boyband” Hanson. Again, I kid you not. Now, I think I may be one of the few people who really did like Hanson when they were so popular years ago, and I’m even a fan of their newer stuff. In fact, I still have a mention of them in my “About Me” section on my Myspace page. At this point of the night, I was absolutely giddy. No, I did not talk to them or take their picture. But, Brett was a witness to it. As we walked out the door by their table, I made sure to double check and make sure it was really them…… yep…. really them!
This Birthday is hands down one of the greatest birthday’s I’ve had. If this is what getting older feels like, then BRING IT! I had a day filled with love and laughter.
2007 was the year of Change for us. 2008 is the year of prosperity and redemption! I am absolutely blessed beyond measure with an amazing husband, two priceless kiddos, a wonderful family and awesome friends. All I can say is that God is so good to me. I give all glory and thanks to Him for the day that He has given to me today. I look forward to this entire year (and the years to come).
