Yearning for… MYSELF.

Hello ladies!  … and gents, I guess!  LOL  In case anyone is wondering, still posting over at Blogger almost daily.  Don’t think I’m having anymore issues on here, but then again, I’ve not been on here much… I’ve not been on the net much period!  I’ve just been trying to focus on other things and stay busy.  I have, however, been over at the 3FC forums more.  JustJ280 over there…  But overall, not on the net as much.  So, hope to see you all at Blogger or on the forums!

I’m pretty much only blogging over at Blogger now and I have been deleting and transferring things off of here.  I just don’t think I can keep up with both blogs and I need to spend less time on the net and more time working on me and spending time with my family.  So, for now, only blogging at Blogger.  The addy is http://searchingforjewlz.blogspot.com/

Ok, that’s all folks.  Off I go!

I’ve been trying to transfer my blogs over to my pute and this darn site is being irritating.  For whatever reason, it puts them in some weird code and won’t let them go!  AARGH!  Oh well… I know I will figure it out.  Anyways, still blogging over at Blogger now.  I’m posting almost daily over there!  So, come on over and get caught up!

Seems as if the issues over here at 3FC are finally getting straightened out.  ABOUT TIME.  But at this time, I’ve already moved a lot of stuff over to the new blog and now I don’t know if I should come back or if I should stay over at the new blog.  I’m still getting use to the new blog and haven’t figured it all out, yet, but so far, I’m liking it.  Although to some extent, I guess I feel a bit exposed over there because it is such a well known blogging spot.  This being a smaller and more concentrated community, I always felt somewhat safe here.  Now I kinda worry about some random stumbling across my blog… someone like me ex SIL.  Not that I care what she thinks, but I just don’t want her in my life — real or online.  Does that even remotely make sense?

Anyways, for now I am going to split blog.  I will blog a bit over here and a bit over there.  With over ‘there’ being my main blog.  But I will post here once in a while and remind people I’ve moved and that there are new posts over there.  Later 3FC’ers!

OK, so finally got a response from an Admin.  Turns out its a pretty big issue and is random, so they have their techs working on it, but it could be a while.  But either way, someone is on it and hopefully it will be fixed at some point soon.  That makes me VERY happy because for my weight loss journey, I really feel like this is the only place for me.  So, don’t think I’m not out here doing my thing and attempting to follow you gals — I am!  I just can’t comment.  :/  But soon… hopefully SOON!!!

Flo has finally left the building and my weight is once again 190.5.  I’m glad her visit this time was easy and short.  LOL  Now on to moving into the 180’s!  Ok, the truth is I’m not going to stress over it.  Especially since my youngest is giving me a run for my money this week.  He’s not sleeping well at ALL which means neither am I.  I think we are going to have to start the dreaded crying it out.  I don’t want to do it, but I am really at the end of my rope and well, nothing else is working.  We’ve tried it at least 3 other times and he just kept crying.  But last night/this AM, he only cried for about half an hour and then finally went to sleep.  And when he did, he was OUT.  So, even though this probably isn’t the best time or the best week, it’s got to be done.  I can’t keep doing this.  I’m seriously sleep deprived!  I just worry about my oldest not getting enough sleep from this.  But I don’t have much choice.  Something has to be done or none of us are going to be worth a crap in a matter of a few more days.  Well, probably not true.  We’ve lasted over 20mos. so I guess we’d make it.  BUT, the level of grumpiness in the house is not good.  YIKES.

I really need to get back to working out this week.  I did some manual labor last week, but since then I haven’t done much except for housework and the regular upkeep.  Mostly because I’ve been so tired, hubby is on nights, and well… I’m tired!  I kept meaning to work out last night and never did.  UGH.  So, today I really should be with only about 2hrs. of sleep… I’m sorta dragging.  I’d have gotten more sleep but I have to get up with oldest to put him on the bus and everything.  I don’t feel horrid, just really lethargic.  So, not sure if my body would appreciate exercise on top of exhaustion.  However, I really want to keep doing the Pilates because I need to pull stuff in and tighten it.  I really would like to get to the point where I would feel comfortable in a two piece bathing suit again.  I did go buy a new suit, but it’s a tankini.  And I did buy a bikini top for a bottom I already have.  But I don’t know if I will wear it.  AND, I found another two piece I loved at Kohl’s.  But I am afraid to buy something and not wear it.  But already I can see a difference from just a few weeks ago even though the scale is the same… but it’s kinda a weird difference…. my stomach is all saggy.

You see, I’ve had two rather big babies.  Not huge, mind you.  But I DID get HUGE.  Not weight wise, but with me being shortish, I had NO WHERE for baby to go but out.  And with both over 8lbs., well, my poor stomach was all stretched out!  And I noticed yesterday that my sides were going in and my little shelf on my butt was going away and that my lower stomach looks like an empty plastic grocery bag hanging limply.  So, the suit looks ok other than I need to lose more overall size.  I’m just getting comfy in 14’s and I think I’d look better if I was down another size.  I wouldn’t have this issue if I was a bit taller!  LMAO!  But seriously, I think if I lose a bit more and start using the Mederma, I will at some point in the future wear a two piece suit again!  I kinda wish I had done it sooner.  That way I could’ve enjoyed my 20’s a bit more.  But I did enjoy my teen years and my 20’s were pretty happy.  But my 30’s have been a whole new world, so maybe it’s good I’m doing this now.  Maybe now is my time.  :)  But what to do about that saggy tummy?  I know it will only get worse before it gets better… but at least it’s getting smaller!  And that makes it easier to cover up.  LOL

OH!  Another spot that is changing is I’ve had these little ‘bags’ on the inside back of my thighs.  Sorta right under my butt cheeks.  Anyways, they’ve always bothered me and I noticed last night when I was shaving that they are smaller and smoother!  YAY PILATES!  LOL  Oh, and my arms are a bit smoother, too.  That’s always a plus as I have ‘batwings’.  Hate the bat wings.  It’s like I have my own personal glider system.  :O  I know that sounds terrible, but that really is how I feel.  But overall, even though the number movement is slow, I do feel progress. 

Ok, well, going to quit rambling on and on now.  I really should go and attempt to do something today… maybe some phone calls and online shopping will do.  And some dishes.  Other than that, I feel like a sloth and I don’t see much else being done.  Take care ladies and here’s to the Tech’s getting the site all fixed up!

I have a new post up over at my new blog!  Working on getting everything going over there.  Hope you enjoy!

http://searchingforjewlz.blogspot.com/

Here’s the link to my newest post.

http://searchingforjewlz.blogspot.com/2012/05/transitioning.html

And like I said the other day, I HIGHLY encourage anyone who is having issues to move to another site.  I hate to leave, but until the point gets across that we have all had ENOUGH, I don’t know how seriously hard they are going to work to get the issues resolved.  I hate to feel that way, but I don’t know how else to feel at this point.  I’m going to be reading over blogs and moving any that have moved soon.  Hope you all are doing well.

After posting that last blog, I went through and read several blogs and realized that at this time, I’m ready to move on.  It’s becoming a site wide issue right now and from what the Admin said, they have NO CLUE how to fix it.  So not only am I moving on, but I am here to say I encourage any of you who are thinking of going to go — enough is ENOUGH.  I’ve moved over to Blogger.  My link is:  http://searchingforjewlz.blogspot.com/  I will say that I tried Tumblr for a bit, but I believe it’s more for the artsy stuff.  So, I will continue to follow some blogs there, but I deleted my blog… which was literally one or two posts saying how frustrated I was with 3FC.  I WILL continue to post here until everyone gets use to the new blog but it will be the link to my new blog.  I hope many of you out there will follow me — like incontrol, unskinny, more than just a girl, etc.  I miss you all and I HATE that I can’t comment and be supportive!  But if you move over, I can!  take care ladies!

With Myself!  LOL  I really don’t… you see, my youngest has slept through the night the last two nights and I don’t think my body knows what to do with itself getting so much rest.  I think I got about 7hrs. the first night and then a full 8 last night.  When you aren’t use to it, it’s strange!  But I wonder if we have figured it out… You see, I kept wondering why he slept SO well when my Mom and Dad were here.  It just made no sense.  Then Friday night I let the boys stay up late since it was well the weekend!  Plus, we’re just about on Summer hours here now… I mean, it’s not dark until after 8 so it’s REALLY hard to put the kiddos to bed when it’s light out.  It’s like they know the sun is still out so they want to be, too.  It can be a pain.  Anyways, I let them stay up later than normal and he slept through.  Sat. they got to stay up a bit later, but not too late and again he did ok… I think he got up once.  Last night, I let him stay up a smidge past 9 and he slept through again!

Here’s my theory — I’m starting to think that sleep cycles can’t just be learned.  I think part of them are just our natural way to work.  You see, I’m a night owl and don’t function well in the AM.  I’m just not a morning person.  I get up fine (we got up at 8AM today) but I’m just not super productive quickly.  I’m the most productive after lunch.  I get up and get breakfast going and check my mail and get on here, but other than that I don’t do much.  But once I get going I have a hard time stopping until fairly late.  Then I need quiet time to myself to wind down.  I’m starting to think my youngest is like me.  By letting him stay up a bit later it’s like he’s winding down and then sleeps better.  I think that is just his circadian rhythm.  I’ve been reading on it simply because I was trying to avoid meds, but I know that I am in desperate need of sleep.  Which now that I am getting, I’m not sure what to do with!  LOL  I’m usually running on much less.  But my point is, I am wondering now if this is really what his issue is?  I’m going to keep up with the later bedtime for him which shouldn’t be an issue for a while because school here will be letting out soon (3 weeks).  So, I won’t have to worry about it affecting my oldest.  Although, he goes to bed at 8:30 so it’s not a huge difference.  We did earlier before but he was getting up too early.  So, we let him have an extra 30mins. and now even on his days off, he gets up at or before 7.  Which is fine by me. 

But now after reading all this, I am really starting to worry about my husband.  Over the last year, his body is showing signs of distress.  I don’t think even HE knows it.  He just knows he doesn’t feel great, has a lack of energy, and isn’t as productive as he was at one time.  Originally he blamed the weather and his health issues (he has severe sinus issues here in East TN).  But after reading about sleep and how it affects us, I’m starting to think he is suffering from a mild sleep disorder from working a rotating schedule.  I think I will talk to him about it later.  I haven’t done any in-depth research, but so far what I’ve read is giving me cause for concern.  I really do see a big change coming in our future.  I really hope that God will show us where he wants us to be to be healthy, happy, and productive people.  Cause right now, we’re not at full potential.  And it’s hard to help others when you’re ‘drowning’ in your own yucks.  Know what I mean?

Speaking of yucks… my weight was 192 this AM.  I was a bit surprised but not completely.  We did eat out yesterday.  I had two of the beef sliders and some fries and coffee.  Yes, coffee.  Just not into soda like I was.  Anyways, that and half of a cupcake are all I really had plus a light breakfast and dinner.  But like I said yesterday, I should start my cycle soon.  I am hoping that my weight is just creeping up like it does for that.  Need lots of water and to be on it this week.  I’d really like to see the 180’s for my final weigh-in for the month of April on Sunday, but not sure if I will since I’ll probably have my cycle.  I am glad that my ‘high’ right now is the low 190’s versus the middle.  I am not, however, happy that I have not been working out like I should.  UGH.  I keep meaning to.  I need to make more time.  I just keep putting it off when we have so many other things going on.  And I know it’s important.  Especially Pilates.  I have a whole rant about that too after reading a blog on here… Maybe I should put that in another blog since this one is probably already getting pretty long!  LOL

Allllllllrighty then!  I’m going to jump off of here for now.  Not sure what to do with my day, but I’m sure I need to do something.  Probably some work outside later if the weather cooperates but that is about it.  Take care chicks and have a great week!

Sooo…. I tried to open a new blog yesterday only to have the same issue as I have when trying to comment.  It just blanked out.  :/  So, not only is THIS blog not working right, but I can’t open a NEW blog either.  I don’t get what the issue is and I’m irritated.  Mostly because there is nothing I can do and nothing anyone else can do.

My weight this AM is 191.0.  I’m a bit bummed by that because I did so great all week and I really thought I’d see 18something on the scale.  BUT… I should be starting my cycle in a couple of days and my sleep has been off so I shouldn’t be too surprised.  But I am a bit bummed.  *sigh*  All in due time!  At least I am having a period and it’s on track.  There was a long time I didn’t so I’m actually really thankful to have one.

On a good note, I posted some pics from our ATL weekend and got really good responses on my FB page.  I DO feel like I look pretty good!  So, that makes the blow of not losing this week a bit better.  LOL  I wonder if I could get the pic to upload here?  Maybe I will try here in a min…

Not much to talk about today.  It’s my hubby’s b-day so he wants to go out at some point, not sure if we are going to go to Gigi’s for cupcakes or make a cake.  Later, we’re going to do a campfire so that should be fun… and burn cals since the stuff we have to burn is all brush so I need to be up constantly cutting and adding fuel. So, it works out for me!  LOL  Glad I got a good chunk of my housework knocked out other than laundry which I meant to work on yesterday, but just never got to.  Thankfully there isn’t much, but I still want to do some when I can… probably tomorrow!

I guess that’s it ladies.  I will try to add my pic now and hope it works!  Have a good Sunday!

***  Tried to add a pic, but like everything else, it isn’t working.  Boo.  :/