Butterflies and Rainbows

I’ve always envied others who get those “you’ve lost weight”  compliments from friends or family.  I’ve found myself wondering why my Dad has never noticed my weight loss and I’ve even set this as a future goal of mine.

At the beginning of my weight loss journey, I took measurements.  I kept these measurements on a spreadsheet along with my weekly weigh-in results.  However, I had “lost” this spreadsheet somewhere on my computer.  Well, yesterday I found it.  Guess what I realized?  My measurements from the beginning May of 2007 are exactly the same measurements as the ones I took 6 weeks ago!  And, my weight?  Only 11.4 pounds less than that same measurement date in May!  No wonder no one has noticed.  I haven’t really changed my appearance in 10 months.  My goodness, have I been burying my head in the sand and totally ignoring reality?

I’ve reversed my insulin resistance and improved my cholesterol numbers.  I’m not discounting those accomplisments at all as they really are quite major.  But, I want to look better, too.  These last few days, I’ve been struggling to stay on-plan.  And, I’ve yet to get back on-plan with the exercise.  Its time to stop playing around and get with the program.  Its not too late to make a significant difference in my appearance. 

Tomorrow, I begin the C25K program and start using the resistance bands consistently.  I’m gonna see how much I can change my body in 8 weeks. 

Went for my 6 month follow-up mammogram of the left breast today.   The cyst still looks like a cyst and has not grown or changed.  Yay! Good news, indeed!

Just realized that I’ve not updated in a couple of days.  So, here’s where I stand right now.  Yesterday was my official weigh-in day and I dropped another .8 of a pound.  This makes 4 weeks in a row that I’ve had a loss.  I can’t remember the last time I did this!  The bad news is that my 365 day challenge to myself didn’t last too long.  Made it through day 10, then went to out to dinner and didn’t plan ahead.  Its a very bad idea to look at the menu and smell the foods while trying to decide what to order.  From now on, I’ll know what I’m ordering before I step foot in any restaurant.  No more unplanned meals. I’ve decided to revise my 365 day challenge.  I’m going to add up my on-plan days regardless if I miss a day on the way.  I’ll see how long it takes me to reach a year’s worth of days.  So, today is day 12.

Based upon my solution to weekend overeating…staying busy…I’ve planned a very busy day for today.  I’m getting my haircut and doing a little shopping.  Then, tonight, its Ladies night for the women in my neighborhood.  We’re getting together for a round of Bunko, snacks, drinks and some great fun.  I’ve already planned ahead and alotted some calories for a couple of snacks and one Margarita. 

Hope everyone has a great on-plan weekend.  Stay busy and out of the kitchen, drive-through, etc etc.

Wow, I made it through a whole week of staying on-plan.  I can’t honestly remember the last time I did that.  The last couple of days have been rough, though.  Stress brings the munchies.  And, I’ve still not started exercising.  It always comes back to the exercise for me.  So, I’m writing a list to help convince myself.

Reasons to exercise:

1. Weight loss will be easier and quicker
2. I will have less jiggle.
3. I can have more calories if I want.
4. I will feel more energetic.
5. Its a natural mood enhancer.
6. It will make my heart stronger.
7. I can have the accomplishment of actually following through with something.
8. I will make my girls proud one day.
9. I will be more likely to maintain my weight loss.
10. I can meet other runners by joining a running club and running in 5K’s
11. I can be in Onederland by my birthday.
12. I can be at goal by the end of the year.

This one was tough!  I’ve had one of those days when I just feel hungry and feel the need to pamper myself with food. I keep thinking about how good a big ole’ plate of french fries would taste.  Thank goodness I’ve been able to stay on-course….due in large part to the fact that my safety zone has proven successful.  There is no junk in the house.  And, most importantly for today…no fries! 

Lost 1.4 pounds!  This is my third weekly loss in a row and I’m feeling quite excited about being on-plan and meeting my goals this year.  One of my goals is to be in Onederland by my birthday, July 14th.  I have 21 weeks to go.  If I lose 1.38 pounds a week until then, I’ll make it.  That seems like a very reasonable goal. 

Today is day 5 of my 365 day committment.   Doing well.  My solution of keeping myself busy on the weekend is working.  I wasn’t tempted to overeat and my house looks great!

Made it through day 3.  Went to dinner at Applebee’s and planned ahead.  Hubby and I looked up calories for some favorite restaurants before we left.  If you’ve never looked up the calories for some of your favorite entrees, I encourage you to take a look.  We were very surprised.  Some of your healthy salads aren’t all that healthy….tons of fat and very high in calories.  Some of the salads and entrees were over 2000 calories! Thats over my calorie total for a whole day!

I’ve not been well today.  I’ve had a horrible stomach ache since 4:00 this morning.  Not sure why.  No fever, vomiting or anything else.  Had to call in sick to work and spent the day in bed.  Needless to say, I’ve been on-plan today.  Haven’t felt much like eating at all.

Happy Valentine’s Day!  What a great day to start my 365 day on-plan committment to myself!  Afterall, I am making my heart healthier.

Made it through day 1.   It was easy to stay on-plan because I’m not feeling so great.  I woke up with a migraine this morning and I have a very upset stomach this evening.  No treadmill today.  The scales were “smiling” at me just a tad this morning.  Looks like I might have a nice loss for the third week in a row.  Wow, its been a while since I’ve been able to do that!

I’ve got them…big time!  And, I’ve been fighting the urge to overeat all day long.  I have that hunger that nothing fills.  No, my stomach is not rumbling.  And, I’ve had a very generous 1700 calories today, so I know that this is not real hunger.  So, I took one of my fingers-and-toes wrinkling soaks in the bathtub and did some thinking.  I believe I know why I’ve got the doldrums.  Doesn’t make it any easier, but at least I can try to find a way of dealing with them that doesn’t include food.

Yesterday, I had my yearly evaluation for my job.  I’m less than pleased with my rating.  Not that it was a bad rating…but, just average. I know for a fact that I’ve excelled at my job this year.  Its so frustrating that management doesn’t recognize that fact! Arghh. 

I’m very disappointed and frustrated with someone in my family who has become distant and uninterested in me and my precious little family.  My heart hurts when I think about what this person is missing by not spending time with my girls.  “You make time for what is important to you.”  This is what you’ve always told me…..so, where is the time?  Seems like there isn’t any anymore. 

Finances are tight around here again.  We’ll probably never be rich….unless we happended to win the lottery one day.  But, jeeze, it sure would be nice to be able to spend a little money sometimes.  Its either feast or famine around here!  I really shouldn’t complain.  We have a beautiful home and very little debt other than a mortgage. But, I’d love to have the funds to re-decorate some rooms or be able to relax sometimes.

And, I miss E!  I understand why they moved back to FL, but I hate that I now have to live without seeing her and her family every day.  And, I miss having a woman to talk with.  Hubby tries, but I really don’t want someone to tell me how to fix everything. KWIM?

I know that my doldrums will pass one day soon.  They always do.  For now, I really need to find a way to make this weight loss journey exciting again. I refuse to let this de-rail my journey.  Despite my current mood, time will continue to pass.  When I get past this, I want to be a few pounds lighter and a bit more healthy….not fatter and even more depressed.  Purple has decided to follow Selina’s lead and start aiming for 365 straight days of being on-plan.  I’ve thought about this off and on for the last few months and I’ve decided to try this also.  For me, being on-plan will be staying within my calorie alottment for each day.  Right now, this is 1200-1700 calories.  I really do think I can do this!  Also, I’ve decided to start the C25K program on March 1st.  I’m excited to see if my weight loss gets quicker and more consisten when I start running every day.  And, I’m hoping I can run in some kind of 5K this year. 

If you’re reading this blog, I hope you have a great on-plan day and are successful at keeping your doldrums far away from you.