A.M. weigh in: I don’t wanna know - my clothes are all tight. I bought bigger pants the other day. It’s not good. And I can’t handle any more bad news right now.
The healthiest thing I ate yesterday was a Southwest Grilled Chicken Salad from Jack in the Box. Mostly I ate Doritos, Cheez-its, Twinkies, Ding-Dongs, a couple of candy bars and a big handful of Skittles (should have read my own post, but I didn’t care!) I woke up this morning feeling bloated, like I no longer fit in my own skin, hung-over and depressed. A sugar crash supreme. Oh joy.
I had to give Sean a dose of Prednisolone (steroids) last night even though it made him shaky and hyper. He was starting to wheeze again. Then I gave him a breathing treatment and held him while he shook for the next half hour til he finally fell asleep. He did sleep restfully and without incident last night. I woke up every couple hours to check on him, and was haunted by weird nightmares when sleep did find me. Oh joy.
Sean is wheezing lightly again this morning. I thought this was going to be another round of “bring your asthmatic child to work” day. Ah, but I got a little bonus surprise about 20 minutes ago. Skye asked me to look at her back. I expected to see a light sunburn from swimming on Sunday. What I didn’t expect to see was a rash covering her entire back… and arms… and legs!! It’s a very fine rash and you have to look closely to realize what it is. Also, her face is slightly sunburned (not concerning) but swollen to the point of looking odd, almost unrecognizable (very concerning!!) So she now has a doctor’s appointment in less than an hour. I just hope she’s not contagious! Oh joy.
This is when the single parent thing REALLY starts to get to me. I am TIRED. I have no one to share the burden of worry with. Grant it, both my ex-husbands were totally useless in the Dad roll when dealing with sick children. But at least having another adult there just helped emotionally. There are days like today when it just feels like too much for one person. I know I’ll get through it and be just fine. I’m just a little sleep deprived, over-worried, and stressed. My ezcema broke out on my hand - it only shows up when I’m under enormous stress. It’s my personal “check engine” light and means that I need to RELAX.NOW. Say it with me “oh, joy!”
UPDATE 5:38PM
Thanks Beerab and Tiny2b for your words of encouragement. Today didn’t go nearly as badly as it looked there for a while. The doctor believes both Skye’s rash and Sean’s asthma attack were a reaction to the pool chemicals. Which totally makes sense. However, my stepdad says that he hadn’t added chemicals recently, at least for a week. So, I’m not sure if we’ll be taking advantage of the parents’ swimming pool again this summer. Which does totally suck. At least Skye’s rash isn’t contagious. I have a note for her preschool stating such, so they won’t bar her attendance tomorrow when I try to drop off Princess Rash.
Despite my best efforts, I’ve been on plan today! LOL!! I didn’t have time for anything more than a Coke Zero until 1pm. I grabbed my go to Southwest Grilled Chicken salad (Beerab, I only use half the packet of dressing. Honest!) and I just now had a Lean Cuisine chicken primavera something or other that was only 220 calories. Oh, and my mom gave me one of her WW peanut butter bliss bars (1 pt.) when I was whining about wanting an ice cream cone from McDonalds. No junk food AT ALL! I totally would have too, but I just haven’t had time or access. Which is oddly awesome! And now that I know the kids are doing better, my stress level has fallen sharply. No sarcasm whatsoever when I now say OH JOY!!
Posted on May 19th, 2009 by firefly
Filed under: Uncategorized
I am sorry you are dealing with so much. Take time to do what you need to do but don’t give up! At least try to pick the healthiest options so you don’t do too much “damage” and remember dressing on the side!
Good luck! *hugz*
I’m sorry! I have been there/done that on the single parent thing, and also on the useless dad thing, and know exactly what you mean. I’d never want to go back to either scenario and I have to just say I give you big props for being able to do as much as you do.
Goals for today: eat a salad and take a nap. That’s my wish for you!
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