Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

10… December 20, 2011

Filed under: December — jewlz280 @ 11:41 pm

Yup.  10 whole days since I last posted.  I am enjoying the holidays, but it’s been super busy.  So, again, I just haven’t been posting like before.  I’m trying to relax when I can, but for the most part, I feel sorta fried!  And right now, I’m worried about us all being sick for the holidays.  The stomach virus is going around like CRAZY and I’m worried about getting it.  Not only do I hate the stomach flu, but I would sure hate to get it during the holidays.  I know there’s really no way to avoid it since oldest is in public school and I DO have to leave the house sometimes!  I can’t live like a hermit.  But the thought of it just makes me nuts.  I’d sure love to know where all of these came from — I don’t recall EVER having the stomach bug when I was in school.  Especially not high school.  And here lately, the ones going around are taking down the whole family — not just young kids.  I get the younger kids one since their bodies haven’t built up immunities, but what’s up with these vicious stomach bugs taking down entire families???  I just don’t understand where they came from!  It’s driving me crazy.  It’s like some alien virus that was dropped from outer space and they just spread all over the damn place now.  AARGH.  HATE THEM!!!  Everyone prays for cures for tons of things… I pray for the stomach virus plaque to die down or go away.  It’s a menace to people and families.

Ok, ok, ok.  On to something else.  I know the LAST thing anyone wants to talk about when talking of dieting is of being sick!  So, I will get on with it.  My weight this AM was 191.5.  Which means I am about the same.  Not going up… not going down.  My diet isn’t horrid.  I’m somewhat trying… I’m not killing myself or counting each little thing, but I guess that it helps IMMENSELY that I am sooooo busy running around.  Literally.  I am up, down, and all around non-stop these days.  Between running after the kids, running errands, trying to get projects knocked out, decorate, shop, cook and clean for Christmas, and then finishing up school…. well…  YEAH.  CRAZINESS.  But overall, I think it has helped to stay busy since if I wasn’t busy, I’d probably be eating every sweet thing in sight!  LMAO  I HAVE been eating a lot of junk… but I’m trying to eat it within reason.

On a good note, I saw an old friend today and she hadn’t seen me in a LONG time.  And she was shocked at how thin I was.  She said at first, she didn’t know what to say.  Not that I was THAT huge before, but at my top weight I was 226.5.  And on a short girl… well, 35lbs. looks closer to 50.  I’m not that short, but I’m no where near tall either at just under 5’4”.  So, it was nice to see that someone else really NOTICED.  People around me say they see it and say things, but when someone comes back that hasn’t seen you for a LONG time and is like WOW, well, that makes a nice little ping in the brain.

Also… I got into my 14’s!  Not SQUEEZED, but IN them!  I pulled them right up and buttoned them.  I didn’t believe it at first, so I tried on every pair I had!  Only one pair was slightly snugger than comfortable.  I won’t wear those until I get down another few pounds.  But I was SO pleased!  SO!  I hope to be a 10/in the 160’s by summer.  Not sure if it will happen, but I’m sure gonna try!  After that… well… not sure where I want to go, but I’m just going to see how I feel then.  I think I will want to lose another 10 to 15lbs.  Maybe do the mid 150’s.  Possibly 140’s since that is where they SAY I should be — 145 or less to have a BMI of 25 or less.  Although, I must admit I think that BMI stuff is a bunch of horse pucky.  I’ve covered that before, but I’ll say it again — too many factors contribute to overall health to ONLY look at height v. weight.  That’s why I say I’ll keep working my way down and go from there.  I refuse to go to a number just because they say that’s where I should be.  I want to go where I feel good.  Of course I want to look good — that’s understood!  But if I get to say 156 and I feel good, look good, and don’t have to kill myself to stay there, then that’s where I’ll stay.  If I go lower of my bodies own accord, fine.  But I refuse to starve myself or work myself to death to get to a number.  I want to live life and enjoy it.  And for me, I just don’t think that 10 or even 20lbs. at that point will make me feel tons better.  But who knows?  Never say never, I guess.  LOL

Well, I guess that’s all I have to say for now.  I’m sure the next few weeks will be mayhem, so I am just going to say see you later for now!  Hope you are all having VERY happy holidays!  And Merry Christmas!  😀


Absent. December 10, 2011

Filed under: December — jewlz280 @ 12:47 pm

Ok, I’m sorry!  I know I’ve been absent.  🙁  BAD GIRL!  But it’s been a nuthouse my way.  A big one.  Just to give a short order of things, we’ve had our family holiday stuff going on, two deaths in the family, the contractor started early on our house, we sold a car before we bought a car so we only had 1.  Then we bought a car.  And the kids have been testy.  Mostly younger.  Older knows the whole Santa routine and is in ‘Good’ gear it seems.  But younger, wow, he is working me to a NUB.  I find myself not liking him very much by bedtime.  And for the last few nights, he’s been up almost all night!  If I don’t get some real rest soon, I may drop.  I am just not even sure WHY he is getting up so much.  He’s dry, he’s had a bottle, and I’ve even given him Ibuprofen since he is teething and getting in his back molars.  Last night, I even hooked up the humidifier thinking that maybe his throat was getting dry so it was waking him up since he’s been a bit snotty.  But no go.  Still up most of the night which means I was, too.  And I am worn out.  But I don’t have time to be because I need to get some massive cleaning done as the house is a MESS from the contractor and us being in and out so much.  Most of my holiday stuff is done now, just got to tie up a few things.  Like, nieces and nephews.  I had some things picked out, but not sure if they will work.  Guess I will do it and just go on with it.  And we’re adopting a family this year.  Not sure how we will pay for it all, but I refuse not to do it this year.  God will provide a way.  We weren’t able to do one last year and I felt SO guilty.  I’ve done some donating this year but not much.  I did a money donation to Toys for Tots, St. Jude, I plan on doing another to Toys for Tots (they’re small donations) and one of the animal shelters.  But we’ve had issues trying to find the programs this year.  Last year, the trees like Angel Tree were up everywhere.  But this year, we’ve not seen ANY.  I checked at several places where they normally are, but there haven’t been any.  It’s strange!  At first I thought I had looked too early but now I fear it’s too late!  So, we decided to just find a needy family in our area and make life easier for them.  I know a single Mom who is having a hard time right now so I think we are going to help her.  Otherwise, there will really be no Christmas for them.  I already invited them for Christmas dinner and she said she would come.  I really pray that God is with her this season and helps her to see that she CAN do this and that there are people that care.

On to my diet/exercise.  Both are dreadful.  LMAO!  I’ve been ok, really, but not losing.  Just maintaining.  I bounce between 190 and 193.  I was 192 yesterday.  192.5 this AM.  193.5 a few days ago.  So, I’m ok with that.  I just want to do my best.  I guess I’m going to be a typical person and get back to business after the holidays.  I just don’t want to gain a bunch.  My biggest weakness right now has been baked goods.  Lordy but do I love cookies, cakes, cinnamon rolls and the like!  And then I want to balance it out with something salty.  LOL  I’m trying to make it a point to snack on healthy stuff, but sometimes that darn cookie with coffee sounds better!  I’d say I do okay about half the time.  I just got to keep trying.  Eventually I’ll get there!

Well, sorry this isn’t going to be very long.  I need to get to cleaning.  LOTS and LOTS of cleaning.  And then I may need to run to Target later for a few things.  Hope everyone out there is doing great as I haven’t had time to read up on anyone lately!  Sorry!  But I will get back when I can.  🙂