bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

circus baby April 18, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 7:42 pm

Gillian came in today with her cute as a button brand new baby boy, and her visit was extra fun because her husband, Martin, and sister were also with her.  They are an entire family of circus performers, and no, I’m not making that up.  He catches his brother on the trapeze and she is a master juggler.  (Oh, how I long to learn to juggle)  His father was also a catcher, and he told us he never intended for his children to want to be in the business too, but they just loved it.  Gosh, I adore these people.  And Gillian was so amazing during labor.  I see these women and their strength just humbles the bejesuses out of me.  I am lucky.  I attended the birth of a beautiful Russian circus performer.  Her labor was long and difficult, and she ended up needing a low dose epidural in the end (very low), but she was still phenomenal.  At one point she was doing the splits every time she had a contraction.  You labor the way you live; I hear it over and over.  Anyhow, I came out of a routine visit and the whole gang was milling around in the entrance way (she had her first postpartum visit) and she was just so happy to see me.  She jumped up to give me a big ole hug, and was thanking me, and crying, and I felt such gratitude and joy.  One tiny crack in my heart was spackled up today.  It got even better because her sister sat in on the postpartum, and I thought she was quite hilarious.  These young Russian gals sure are somethin’.  It was sister’s idea for Gillian to deliver at a birth center, because that is what she intends to do when she’s pregnant.

Martin was joking about letting the baby be raised by bears in a natural setting as they’ve been so tired since the birth.  They happen to be staying with friends who train bears.  Who needs a babysitter when you’ve got a well trained grizzly?  It is my sincerest hope that since Ringling is in Sarasota I’ll get to see some more of these performers come through the birth center.  They pretty much rock.

kylie (the junior student), gillian and baby, cory (my midwife), and me

I want to write more, but I’m damned tired and I have to get up and drive to Gainesville in the morning.  I wish I had a time turner like the one Hermione’s got.  If anybody knows where to purchase one that really works, please do let me know.



Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 9:32 pm

Garnet is the winner of the Queen Of April Showers Springtime Challenge!  HOORAY!!!!!  I hand this honorary certificate to her, and she really has earned it with an impressive 12, 740 raindrops.


a rabbit riding an alligator?

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 9:27 pm

Today I finished hanging up the rest of my clothing, and am officially done packing.  I got the bulk of the unpacking done the first two days that I was here, but I detest folding and hanging up clothing.  I ripped open the bags of clothes the day of the move and dumped them all in a huge heap on the floor.  Ahhhh, now that  felt homey.  The pile remained dormant until this afternoon when I slid on some scrub bottoms across the wooden floor and nearly crashed into Ryujin’s tank.  He was unimpressed, and flicked his tongue out at me carelessly.  If I don’t have time to feed him collards and scratch his chin he doesn’t pay much attention to my shenanigans.  Anywhoozles,  I’m just glad my forehead didn’t smash into the corner of his tank.  Did any of you guys see Lost Highway?  I don’t want to be that guy.  Death by glass coffee table (or giant aquarium containing desert lizard) is not the way I intend to leave this mortal pull tab coil.  The whole thing inspired me to hang everything in the closet, or fold it up haphazardly and shove it into a drawer.  TA-DA!   Done and done.  I need to organize the shelves in my window box a bit better, but other than that I’ve spun around in a circle three times, pawed at the floor, and curled up happily in my new house.  And yes, you heard me right, my room has a fucking window box.  This house used to be a store or something, so one whole wall of my room is a window box with shelves.  It’s awesome.  I drew a giant picture of two swallows hugging with window markers on the glass.  And then after that I sang that “… got to admit it’s getting better, it’s getting better all the time,” song to myself because I was so pleased with everything.

I even made a new picture to hang in the kitchen.  It has a beehive, and a picture of my Granny and her twin sister when they were little kids in it.  I love it.  Hmmmm, perhaps I will get off of my ass and take a picture of it so that I can show you guys how crafty I can be.

here’s a close up of the corner so you can see some details…

I also started another picture for the living room.  This one isn’t a collage (I have a thing for making collages), it is a rabbit riding an alligator.  I see pictures of stuff that I like on etsy sometimes and then I create my own version.  Who doesn’t want their very own rabbit riding an alligator?  I can’t think of anybody offhand, and if there is somebody out there who is too lame to appreciate such artistic genius they oughta just go soak their head.

This one isn’t finished by a longshot.  I filled in some color for the alligator, and did a crude sketch of Sir Rabbit, but there is a lot of tweaking left to do.  I have to go over all the detailing with black ink for it to look nice and complete.  Black ink detailing is what I’m best at, but this is a large picture so it will have to wait until the semester is over for me to finish it.  I’ll post the completed masterpiece for you lovelies to ogle at.

I was inspired to create new art on account of the fact that my roommate is an artist (hella better than me, naturally).  She is quite the painter, and works as a tattoo artist, so she’s got artwork hanging up in our living room.  It’s good to live with artists, because it sets my creative crème fraîche to a nice simmer.   Oh, and for those of you who have not already done so, please exchange your creative juices for something a bit more European.  You can thank me later.

Oh, and since I’m posting all this shit anyolddanghow, here is a picture that I hung in the living room.  I didn’t create it, but it’s still cool.  There is a nifty store that I went into called Elysian Fields, and that is where I found this one- I’ll have to go back there when I have more money to waste.

Speaking of money, I just found out that I am getting a thousand dollars back for my taxes this year.  I’m pretty sure that Jesus must have gotten involved, because I can’t figure it out at all.  I didn’t think I was gonna get a damn dime.  My pockets were turned out and there wasn’t shit to show for it but lint and some lip gloss.  And then came Jesus, riding in on a noble long-eared mule, decked out in shining baubles and purple glittering robes.  “Deonn,” He says all son-of-god like, “I know you’ve had a rough semester, and in spite of the fact that deep down I know you are a lazy shit,  I have convinced your government to give you a thousand dollars.  Assuredly, I say to you, yea though I knowest thou wilt spend thy dollars in a slovenly manner, go forth and bare thy neighbor’s burden within reason.”  You see guys, the J-man knows that I try to look out for y’all and do my best.  Hmmm.  I hope nobody is offended by my sacrilicious ramblings.

I’ve been at the birth center way too much lately.  My preceptor would like me to pledge my life away so that she can squeeze out as much free labor as is humanly possible.  Some of my class pals have preceptors who pay them money, those lucky buggers.  A’s preceptor did a little fund raiser and matched it dollar for dollar so that she’d get some extra gas money.  Sweet deal.  Me on the other hand, well, if it weren’t for Jesus showing up on a mule with the promise of having the government give me a grand I’d be financially destitute.

Hope you guys have a great week.


yipes! April 10, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 7:04 pm

I’m sorry that I haven’t had time to update the challenge.  I am still unpacking, but am going to call it quits soon. I have a test to study for, and clinic tomorrow.  The devil in me is telling me to skip class so that I can get everything finished, and I’m kinda considering it.  I could really use the two days to get everything settled and catch up with studying.  Bah!  I will update challenge totals as soon as I have time to do all the math.  Jeez, no more challenges for me for awhile.  Thanks for your patience!


supplement binge April 8, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 5:30 pm

Remember the other day when I was requesting supplement ideas for boosting energy?  Well, I decided to get the sublingual liquid B complex.  I also only had a few multis left in the bottle, so I chose to try a new brand (Alive!).  Every time I get a bottle of vitamins I get something different.  This time the prettiest bottle was what struck my fancy… of course.  Those clever advertising teams know what they are doing.  Slap a pretty label with brightly colored fruits and vegetables on it, and I am sold.  The gimmick with Alive! is that each horsepill contains a dehydrated powder of a broad mix of vegetables and fruits.  Oooooh.  Prepare for all of your problems to be solved!  The miracle vitamin, of course. will cure your health issues for you, and gone will be the days of practicing good nutrition.  🙂  I think Nature’s Way is just jumping on the Juice Plus bandwagon.  The vitamin contains: pomegranate, acai, plum, cranberry, blueberry, strawberry, blackberry, bilberry, cherry, apricot, papaya, orange, grape, pineapple, parsley, kale, spinach, wheat grass, brussel sprouts, asparagus, broccoli, cauliflower, beet, carrot, cabbage, and garlic.  That’s all the same components as juice plus, combined with a multi vitamin.  I think the multi wins because it’s eight dollars for a fifty day supply instead of forty dollars a month.

I sort of like taking vitamins and supplements.  There’s something about it that makes me feel like, say, I don’t know, maybe an astronaut or something.  It’s as if swallowing a handful or vitamins and herbs could counteract all the other craziness that I put myself through on a daily basis.  What?  You’re fucking in space?  You didn’t know there isn’t any oxygen out there?  Here, take these capsules.  This one-a-day system will help you get by.  No, we didn’t say thrive.  We said get by.

all the supplements in the world aren’t gonna cure my goofy ass (or are they?)

Over the years I have gone on mad supplement binges.  “Am I getting enough iodine?” I vaguely wonder for no particular reason one balmy spring afternoon.  I purchase two bottles of the stuff, and take it until it runs out, reflecting on how bright yellow it makes my pee look.  I eat sea vegetables and seaweed salads, and I sprinkle dulse flakes into things.  It is a good thing I like seaweed salads.  After my supply runs out it doesn’t occur to me to replenish it.  Having sated my craving for iodine, I never look back.

A few years back I took St. John’s Wort in the hopes that it would quash my black moods and anxiety.  I didn’t take it regularly enough to notice any sort of a difference.  When a person is moping around as much as I was at the time they can’t even move themselves to bother to swallow a few herb capsules a day.  I don’t know if the St. John’s Wort would help with those issues.  You know what did help?  Getting rid of the total ass-spelunker that I was dating.  That helped oodles.

I’ve gone on kicks that had me consuming cayenne pepper with every meal, and drinking apple cider vinegar before I ate.  “It’s good for the blood and good for the heart,” I thought.  The vinegar aids with digestion and keeps blood pressure in check.  I liked that phase as I was quite fit back then.  Was it the cayenne pepper and vinegar?  I don’t know.  I still think drinking apple cider vinegar has a ton of positive health benefits, but I stopped doing it six years ago.  Maybe I’ll invest in a bottle and try it out again.  Why not?

Yesterday I took the sublingual B complex for the first time.  About twenty minutes later I could feel my life force draining out of me.  My muscles went all sleepy and my brain turned to goo.  It seemed like I was going to get sick, and today I have.  I’m sneezing, my sinuses are sore, my throat is sensitive, and my thirst is maddening.  B complex must be drawing the evil out of my soul.  That’s really the only logical explanation.

I intended to do homework today, but instead I went to lunch with my uncle, cousin, and her husband.  After that I chatted with my other cousin, Emily, on the phone for about forty five minutes.  She originally called to express concern for Ivy, the pregnant cat that my uncle decided to “return to nature.”  He’s such a putz.  He’s a good person, and quite funny, but sort of lazy and neglectful.  ESPECIALLY when it comes to pets.  Emily told him to have the cat spayed (she didn’t know Ivy was pregnant, and my uncle wasn’t sure about it, but she is) but he said he didn’t think it was necessary.  Having kittens is natural and all, and so is her living outdoors.  “She’s just going to be an outside cat now,” he said.  Yep.  He kicked the cat out when I was gone for school- I suspect because she had run out of food and he didn’t want to buy any more.  The cat belonged to Dominick (another cousin) and Erica, but they had to get rid of her.  They didn’t bother spaying her, so the first time she went into heat she ran outside and got “in the family way”.  I don’t know what possessed my uncle to take her.  When I got back from Gainesville Ivy was at the front door wailing away, so I went and bought some cans of cat food for her.  Poor knocked up little beast.  She’s quite friendly and cute, and after I leave she’ll move on soon enough.  He’s not going to feed her, so she won’t stick around.  Lucky for her there are some “cat people” down the street.  They always have five or six kitties hanging around in their yard, so I’m sure when she’s hungry she’ll wander over there.

As I was chatting I wandered down to one of the retention ponds about a minute or two away from the house.  There is a little alligator that lives there (just two or three feet), and he was happily paddling around the pond.  I also saw tons of Florida soft shelled turtles poking their heads up.  I haven’t seen any there before, but today they were all over the place.  Don’t they look like little sea monsters?

I’d better get some stuff packed.  I am moving tomorrow afternoon, and nothing is packed.  Mostly what I have are books, clothing, and toiletries, so I don’t have all that much to sort through.  Thank god.


checkin’ in April 6, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 6:44 pm

Just a quick check in to let you lovely lasses know that I will update the raindrops tally tomorrow.  This week school was really amazing, but damn do I need some sleep.  Having to write two papers and studying for a major exam really takes it out of a person.

I’ll catch up more tomorrow.  Before I go- do  any of you all have any good tips to boost energy level?  Obviously I need to get enough sleep, but there are days when I get plenty of sleep and I feel like my ass is still dragging.  The diet changes I’ve made have helped a little, but not as much as I would like.  Can anyone possibly recommend any supplements?


new weekly challenges (i personally think #3 rocks) April 2, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 6:35 pm

You may do ANY of the previous weekly challenges again.

This is the last week of the April showers challenge, so all contestants may complete AS MANY BONUS CHALLENGES AS THEY WANT TO.  You may repeat any challenge again, but challenges may only be done once this week for bonus points.  I hope you gals have enjoyed these little bonuses.

new challenges-

#1-  Visit a tanning salon.  I’m not saying you need to become a tanaholic, but I do feel that trips to a tanning bed can be extraordinarily beneficial.  Why?  It is crazy relaxing.  If you have never been tanning before, don’t worry.  Everybody has a first time.  The gals working at the salon will explain how the beds work.  I highly recommend picking out a lotion to try as well.  I only started trying out lotions last summer when I was going tanning in the spring with my mom in Tennessee (she had never gone before, and I talked her into getting a tanning package with me) and I was instantly hooked.  They smell great, and they keep your skin nice and moisturized.  If you are planning on purchasing a whole bottle of lotion, I suggest finding a scent that you like by trying out samples and then getting it off of Amazon.  Tanning lotions are at least fifty percent cheaper off of Amazon than in tanning salons.  (I learned this the hard way).  Some I like: Swedish Beauty (brand) – Fig Get Me Not, Bronze Voyage, Take Olive Me, Hot Green Tease    and from Australia Gold – Wicked Lovely (smells so damn good I want to swim in it), and Vogue (also very yummy, but quite pricey.  Another thing about tanning lotions- the ones sold in regular retail stores are crappy (in my experience) and many of them can’t be used in tanning salons because their ingredients damage the beds.  If you want to get a bottle of nice tanning lotion, you may use it for the “buy a dress, top, etc” bonus challenge.  If you haven’t been tanning before, ask an employee how long you should be in the bed your first time… I don’t want anybody to burn.  Also, if you live in a place where it is nice and warm already- you may sprawl outside in the sun.  Outdoor tanning takes longer, so do twenty minutes a side (at least).

#2 – A dry brush body scrub is the second challenge.  What the hell is that?  It’s great for circulation, and your skin is going to thank you for it.  I like to do this before bed every so often, and should really incorporate it into a weekly routine (instead of once a month).  First off, you will need to purchase a bristle brush with a long handle if you do not already have one.  Places like Target, Walmart, etc. usually have brushes like this where they keep the bath stuff, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding one.  I prefer wooden ones with a natural bristle brush, but plastic handles and bristles will work too.  I think the plastic bristles are a little scratchier, but maybe I’m just an over sensitive baby.  This is best done in the morning or evening, either right before bed or before your shower.  All you do is take your brush and gently scrub your skin in a circular motion.  Don’t rush, and make sure to get every last speck of skin on your body.  A long handle is needed so that you can easily reach your back.   If you do this before bed, you will notice a big difference to your skin the next morning.  The first time I tried it I was amazed!  The brushing removes dead skin cells, and really gets the circulation going.  For an extra treat try moisturizing when you are done with a small amount of one of these oils: olive, coconut, sesame, almond, or avocado.  Store bought lotions work because they have oils like these in them.  Unfortunately they also have chemicals and preservatives in them as well.  I have amazing skin, and it’s because I moisturize with coconut oil.  Take care of your skin, and it’ll start to glow- I swear it.

#3  THIS IS HOW AWESOME I AM project.  Get a nice writing pen and a clean sheet of paper.  One should do the trick, but it never hurts to have a backup piece.  For the first part of this exercise I want you to make a list.  List all of the things that you like about yourself.  List things that make you awesome.  List random facts, goals, and events that make you sparkle and that you are proud of.  If you want, you can even post this list on your blog.  If you are feeling extra crafty use a different color for each item on your list.  Anything goes!  Examples: I have a good sense of humor, I think tacos are the greatest food ever and if I don’t eat them for longer than two weeks I start to get the shakes, I am a good singer and very much enjoy creating mini operas in the shower, I give a mean blowjob, I can whistle like a champ, I make fantastic pizza, I am a courteous driver,etc .  If you want to, you can even share events in your life that illustrate your super sweet level of awesome.  Your list must have at least 25 things on it, but the more the merrier.

Part Two – Now that you are swimming in your awesomeness, I want you to get another piece of paper.  This time, write down a list of things that you need to work on.  These things need improvement, but are not necessarily bad traits, rather, habits that need to be shifted towards the positive.  DO NOT PUT “I need to lose weight” on this list.  Explore the emotions behind why you are the way you are.  Think about what areas of your life need a little changin’.  Examples: I get really nervous around people sometimes because I am afraid that they will think that I am strange and unlikeable, I don’t open myself up to new relationships because I have been wounded in the past and am afraid that it will happen again, etc.  Once you are finished with this list, place it next to your awesome list.  Read over both of them.  Your personality is on these pages, and a little self examination is good for the soul.  Is it possible for you to overcome some of your obstacles by utilizing good qualities from your awesome list?  Of course it is.

challenges from the last two weeks

#1 Someday I am going to have an ample supply of benjamins and I will be able to afford trips to day spas. Today is not that day, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t pamper myself. For this challenge we are going to pamper ourselves with simple items found in the kitchen. Get ready to put on your best face.

Step one – Sugar Scrub – this is the simplest stuff to make, and it works great on your whole body-although if you are slathering it all over yourself you may want to do it in the shower so as not to make a complete mess. All you need is an oil, honey (or aloe vera) and some sugar (not powdered, of course). I have used olive oil, avocado oil, sesame oil, and almond oil, and all of them are good. You must use EXTRA VIRGIN olive oil, and don’t use corn oil, or canola. Take three tablespoons of oil and two tablespoons of honey and mix it with half a cup of granulated sugar. The mixture should not be too grainy or too liquidy. You want it to be mushy. You apply it to your face and exfoliate for a couple of minutes, and then rinse. If your skin feels slippery or oily you have put in too much oil into your mixture. If there is some leftover you can put a lid on the container that you were using and store it in a cupboard. (refrigeration will cause the oil to solidify) You might want to try this out on your feet and hands if you need some extra self care.

Step two –Mask and eye treatment – You need ¼ cup of plain yogurt, 3 tbsp honey, and 3 tbsp of EITHER pureed carrots or pumpkin. Use canned (with nothing added) carrots/ pumpkin or stuff that has already been cooked because it needs to be soft so that you can smoosh it up. You can put the ingredients in a blender, a food processor, or use a hand mixer. Apply to the face and leave on for fifteen to twenty minutes. As soon as you have applied your mask, place one slice of cucumber over each eye (close ‘em first, of course). Turn on some soothing music or listen to your favorite movie.

#2 Visualization exercise to bring out the inner goddess. You need some sort of paper for this, and whatever art supplies you have. USE A LOT OF COLOR. Chalk pastels are good because you can blend the colors all nice and softish. I like to use crayola markers, but really, anything with color will do. Don’t use a regular pen or pencil, because color is important for this one. This exercise isn’t about being a good artist. It’s about learning to project happy and positive vibes so that we can deliberately create our lives the way that we want them to be. You may want to have a larger sheet of paper, or you can even use notebook paper. If your paper isn’t large, have an extra piece handy for if you run out of room. Take your supplies to a quiet spot. No tv. No distractions. Think about yourself as a beautiful and powerful woman. FEEL yourself as being balanced, happy, healthy, and full of love. Close your eyes and picture your life without fear and hesitation. THIS IS YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW. You are a part of creation. Your life force is strong and you are responsible for it. Imagine strong women that you admire, and think of all the amazing women that have lived before you and will live after you. All of their strength is available to guide you. All of women’s wisdom can assist and support you. You are whole and there is enough love in the universe for you. Imagine who you will soon be as a person. See all the details. The clothing you are wearing, the house that you will be living in, the partner that you have. Now start drawing. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece- use color to represent things like love, empowerment and prosperity. Draw the sort of house you want, draw yourself dancing near the ocean, put in green rectangles to symbolize your super awesome income… draw whatever the heck you want. Just keep it all positive and really feel like you have already attained all of these things. Continue drawing for as long as you feel like, and stop when you feel as if you are finished.

#3 – lingerie wishlist – go to and check out the ultra foxy shit that you will one day be able to wear. Make a wishlist of five items. Spend a little time looking through the site, and really find things that you love. Post a picture of your favorite item on your 3fc blog. You are one hot mama, and you deserve to be a little risqué.

*Go and see a movie either with a friend or by yourself.  Don’t do this challenge unless the movie is actually something that you WANT to see.

*Buy a pretty new top, or jeans, or a bra, or a dress, a hat, a belt- just something new!  Just  because you aren’t the size that you want to be does not mean that you have to dress like a frumpy wallflower.  Your wardrobe is supposed to be an expression of who you are and how you want the world to see you.  We can’t makeover our lives completely overnight, and there is no sense in waiting to wear nice clothes until we are at the “right” weight.  One of the biggest mistakes I ever made after gaining weight was that I stopped getting clothing for myself.  I had such a sparse wardrobe for so long, because I kept telling myself that I could just hold off on clothing shopping until I fit into my old clothing again.  Dumb.  Having nothing cute to wear just made me feel shitty, and it has been five years since I could fit into my old clothing.  Not having a decent wardrobe didn’t motivate me to lose weight, it made me feel lousy.  If you don’t feel good about yourself it’s going to be a lot harder shedding those pounds.  So get out there and find something that makes you feel like a goddess!  Go crazy and buy a whole new outfit!

*Take a nice detox bath.  Add one to three cups of sea salt or epsom salts into a tub of steamy water.  If you like, you can add other bath oils or herbal tea bags.


reflecting on the semester

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 3:05 pm

I have made a lot of personal progress this semester.  I started an etsy shop after longing to do so for years and years.  (I’ve made four sales so far… not exactly raking in the cash but I gotta start somewhere!)  I found a great place to live in a location that has a lot of potential for me.  I look forward to starting a new life in Sarasota, and coming to terms with my old one.  🙂  I’ve been very good about incorporating way more fruits and vegetables into my everyday diet.  I only drink water, and I make sure to get in about sixteen cups a day.  I am making an enormous effort to communicate my personal concerns/issues as opposed to internalizing them.  By communicating my feelings through venting I have actually avoided making a number of foolhardy mistakes.  I have embraced my body and decided that I deserve to wear cute clothes.  No more waiting around until I have achieved my dream size!   This stuff is all important, and I am proud of how much I have accomplished in the seven months that I have been living in Florida.

Here are some huge issues that I still need to address: #1) I procrastinate and “get by” instead of really going all out.  I was once a straight A student, and now all I care about is passing.  The whole “C’s get degrees” motto I’ve adopted probably isn’t the best attitude or approach.  I detach from situations involving school (and other things) as a way of getting out of responsibility. #2) I’ve used my school load as an excuse to stop spending time exercising.  I was doing great with my exercise for the first eight weeks of the year, but last month I quit doing my aerobics.  I make a lot of lame excuses, but the truth is that I am unorganized and can be horrendously lazy.  I am pretending that I can’t take proper care of myself because: my classes are difficult, my clinicals hours are time consuming and overwhelming at times, I am on-call a lot so I tell myself that I deserve break days to just be lazy and lay around doing nothing, I still find myself putting the needs of others ahead of my own (not anywhere near as much).  My guess is that most overweight people have a pretend list of excuses as to why they have to be the way that they are.  It’s all bullshit.  I am not accepting full responsibility for my life.  #3 I have to deal with my insomnia issues.  It’s one thing if I must wake up to attend a birth, but under normal circumstances there is no reason for me to be awake at four in the morning.  This issue has been a part of my life as far back as my memory goes, and it’s time to make changes to correct it.

I was thinking about this stuff because I recognize that I am making progress, but I need to keep going.  Those last three things I listed are crucial to me taking my next step and moving on with my life.  They also have a huge affect on my weight loss.  I started this blog seven months ago, and have spent that entire period of time yo-yo-yodeling around all over the place.  I’ve tried a few different detoxes, but my head ain’t lined up right with my body, so nothing has been terribly successful.  I can’t even believe that you all aren’t making fun of me left and right either.  “Errrr, hey, Didi, I think your head has gone up your ass again.”  I won’t get angry if you tell me the truth, gang.  I promise I won’t.

So I’ve spent all this time sampling different things, but here are the only things that seem to be sticking and are here to stay: juicing vegetables in the morning, drinking copious amounts of water, and eating a salad every day.  Are these baby steps, or are they, like, ant steps?  I am flea-stepping my way to a slowwwwwww victory.

Wednesday we had a lengthy nutrition and weight loss discussion in class, and were given some very simple tips for assisting weight loss.  They are basic, and everybody knows ’em.  That is why I am going to list them for you, because I want to add one or two to my wee list of “I can do this shit forever” changes up there.  Dr. Scott told us to try incorporating one or two into our lifestyle this month, and I’m taking it as an unofficial challenge.

only drink water (nailed this one)

decrease intake of animal products (this one doesn’t apply to me as much. i am not a heavy meat eater like many americans are. she was telling us all about how most americans eat two to three times as much meat as is healthy for them, and they like to coat it in cheese, and then wash it down with a gallon of milk)

the heaviest meal of the day would ideally be breakfast, but should NEVER be dinner. try to at least have your biggest meal be at lunch time.

stop eating after six pm.

skip dinner (This was a terribly intriguing bit of the lecture.  It has to do with giving the digestive system a break, and how the metabolism works.  Skipping breakfast is unanimously agreed to be the worst thing for weight loss, but forgoing the evening meal can be beneficial to a crowd trying to lose weight)  Don’t get me wrong, she didn’t suggest that we give up our dinners forever and ever.  What she suggested was that we try skipping them a couple of times a week as a very easy way to do a “mini fast.”  She especially suggests it for those who don’t like to eat breakfast.  Supposedly it helps retrain the digestive system to work more efficiently.

We then went on to have a funny conversation about how Americans have taught themselves to eat for two, but still manage to generally have poor nutrition.  We also discussed how horrendous low carb diets are, and talked about several other bad-fad diets.  Man, low carbing it fucked me up so bad.  That’s one of the main reasons why I gained fifty pounds, and is also why I attempt to dissuade others from adopting a low carb diet.

As of today I am: Not eating after six p.m. (accept for Tuesdays and Wednesdays).  My school chums and I have dinner often times when we are in Gainesville, and I’m not giving this up.  I will make a conscious effort to eat lighter dinner meals though, regardless of where I am. I am also going to skip dinner twice a week just to experiment.  I think Sundays and Mondays would be the easiest, so why not give it a go…  It’s less of an effort than doing a full blown seven day fasting detox, and Dr. Scott is sensible enough of a person to have done her research.   And I need to start doing aerobics every morning again.  If I shoot for every day, I will workout four or five times a week, and this is a good enough number for me.  I have tons of awesome workout dvds, and there is no reason why I can’t pop one in and workout for at least thirty five minutes a day.

I must ask you lovely ladies to start holding me accountable for my weight loss efforts.  Check my workout logs and nag at me if I’m not getting in four workouts a week.  You’d be doing me a great service.