I may be running the risk of eating the wrong number of calories, but I am not counting them strictly as I did during February… I just eat more or less the same every day, depending on how hungry I get: yogurt or fruit for breakfast, some lean meat or skim cheese and veggies for lunch, some crackers during the afternoon, and repeat lunch. I am not losing a lot of weight, but it’s my TOM, so I am just being patient. I suppose that the scale will go down in some days, as usual.
What motivates this post is my astonishment at how “natural” my eating has become. I remember trying to go on diets all my life, starting every Monday and ruining it on Wednesday. Now one dieting day is easy and moves slowly by, while life is about something else: studying, meeting people, working. Food is so much in the background that my life feels lighter, less troubled. I see people eating at work –eating sweets and cookies– and say no thank you to everything they offer me. I see people buying sodas, and I buy water.
My question has changed from “what is wrong with me?” to “what is right with me?” Nothing in my life has changed that may explain the new place food has taken. The only thing which changed is the place of food, but I cannot explain why that place has changed. I thought that my food was all wrong because my life was wrong. I am coming to think that the problem was the food, which made my life miserable, and not the other way around.
I weigh in every day, but as the scale does not seem to move and I am in no hurry, I am not obssessing over it. Is this like being normal?