Self-Pity Party No More….well trying

It’s been about a month since I’ve blogged and it’s not that I really don’t have anything to say, it’s a mix of nothing major to report and life’s being super busy.

April 1 has come and gone for the family challenge and no one won. I didn’t lose any weight but I also didn’t gain any weight either, so that is a plus for me.  It seems like no one is as committed to this challenge as me, I know my brother and his girlfriend have a side bet going to help motivate themselves for the wedding.  My aunt never emails her weight in and it feels like my mom isn’t even trying and my mom’s boyfriend loses and then again.  It’s really hard for me to find this motivating when I feel like I’m the only one trying.

I guess I can say I fell off the wagon during March and April, I wasn’t making it to the gym as often as I wanted to, the weather hadn’t been helping and I’ve been throwing myself a self-pity party.  I can’t blame anyone because it’s all me.  I’m the one who is making the choice to go home and not go to the gym.  It’s me who is picking up the bad stuff instead of the healthy stuff. I’ll pull dinner out the morning of but then change my mind.  I guess I’m just getting bored and I need to work on better food options, I’ve just never been into cooking and I even hate doing the food prep on the weekends for my lunches.  The only reason I stick to it is that it helps save money.

April 5 was the Harry Spring Run Off, it was super super cold that day, I thought it might hold me back as it was so hard to jog in the cold but I’m super proud of myself.  I did it and I shaved 4 minutes off my best time, which was from three years ago.  This year I did the run in 1:15, last year was 1:22, the year before (2012) was 1:26 and 2011 was 1:19, which was the first year I ever ran it and I barely trained for it.

I need to re-evaluate my goals, I still have the Mud Hero in August and as long as I keep up with my run training, that will help with my cardio and endurance.  I do have the wedding in October, and that is motivation as I want to look good in front of everyone.  There is also a family vacation after the wedding, so I do want to look good in the swimsuit, so I need to work on that to.

Now that the weather has finally started to get better, I can resume jogging outside.  It was the best for me, it helped clear my head.  As I said earlier, I had been throwing myself a self-pity party, been feeling very lonely and feel like I’m stuck as everyone around me as been moving forward and I’m not.  I hope with the training sessions again, it will help clear my head and get myself back into the proper head space.

Lent Commitment

March 1 has come and passed and I think it’s safe to declare that I’m the winner for the month of February in the family bet, I was down 2lbs which is more then anyone else, I could have been further but I’ve been having some rough days lately and I’ve been cheating when I’m not suppose to be.

With that said, that brings me to my topic for the day, Lent started yesterday. Tuesday was Shrove Tuesday or better known to others as Pancake Tuesday, I allowed myself some pancakes and now I need to make my commitment to Lent. You are suppose to give up something that will be difficult, something that won’t be easy, showing your sacrifice. (Well that was what was taught to me while I was in school, I just give up something that I shouldn’t be eating.)

I’ve working on three commitments:
1-No more Starbucks, I started to look at my receipts and I didn’t realize how much I was grabbing from Starbucks, a little treat every day, which was adding up on the wallet and the calories because we all know those cookies, muffins, squares and etc. are big time calories.
2- No more extra treats, now this I have to explain.  I’m not cutting out desserts when I’m eating out, I’m talking about little treats that I pick up throughout the day.  I will drop into the convenience store and grab a chocolate bar.  Those are what I need to get rid of.  I’m planning on trying some baking out, and I don’t want to cut that out, because I need to be able to try it and it’s going to be coming from my clean eating magazine, so it can’t be to bad.
3-And finally, I’m committing to some form of exercise each day, I’m doing a 30 day challenge right now, which is great but I need to do more.  I’ve been slacking in the gym department. When I was actually going 3-4 days a week, I felt great.  The last few weeks I haven’t been making it as regularly, so I need to get back to that.  I felt better when I was going.

Day 1 done, I didn’t grab any Starbucks but I did get a min chocolate bar.  I’m going to have to do better meal planning if I’m going to get craving for something sweet.  I’ll keep everyone updated on my process through the month.

To Chubby for the Zumba belt

So I borrowed my friend’s Zumba Wii game to try it out before purchasing it for myself, she isn’t using it at the moment so it’s perfect timing.

The game comes with a Velcro Belt which you can place the controller in for easy game play.

So instead of going to the gym tonight, I decided that I would come home and try the game, I pushed my coffee table a side and got ready to dance, until I realized I was to chubby for the Velcro Belt.  I can put it on but the controller won’t go in to the spot without making it unconfortable for me. I’m not to do that.  This jusst sucks!!

Well I guess this is motivation to keep trying, I would like that belt to fit!! I did remind me how myc

Shopping update

Yesterday was a shopping day and I managed not to try on anything, which was a good thing, I didn’t want to.  I was looking at the various dresses and most of them were sizes 12 and 14, and I saw a few 20s but I’m bigger then that and I didn’t feel like putting myself through the pain of trying to put on a dress and it not fitting. I watched one of the bride’s friends go through that, she is also a plus size and she didn’t even come out of the dressing room at the first store.  As a chubby girl myself, I understand how painful and frustrating it is, watching other girls go in and out of the dressing room, trying on any dress they want and walking out with it being able to be zipped up.  I suggested to the bride that she take her shopping on her own, but also trying not to over step my bounds.

Store two was more successful, more girls found dresses and the girl I mentioned above found a few dresses she liked.  Again, I looked around but again, didn’t see any sizes for me and the store was so busy, I didn’t feel like being put on display.  I won’t lie, I saw some beautiful dresses, just not in my size.  Also, I still have a dress that I like and would prefer to wear, so I’m still good.

I’m still working on my burpees that I mentioned yesterday, still playing catch up and I can feel it today! Tomorrow is back to work and back to routine, but I will say this, watching the Olympics this past two weeks really makes me want to get into better shape and feel better about myself.  I did make it to the gym once during my week off, I did a training run, I’ve now moved into week 6.  Feel like I’m making good progress for the Harry Rosen taking place in April.

I’m still in the 230s, working my way through them and down into the 220s.

Bridesmaid Dress Shopping

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m in a wedding in October, and today is “bridesmaid dress shopping day”. Technically I already have a dress, I plan on reusing a dress I wore for a wedding two years ago.  My future sister-in-law stated that our dresses only had to be long and black, and the rest was up to us. Well that’s what I have and I love the dress. Now since I’m embarking on a weight-loss journey this year (like I’ve done every other year), I would say it’s dangerous to use a dress that I’ve already worn and was fitted to my heavier weight.  Now having been in a big wedding party comes in handy at this moment.

(Side note, I’m taking part in a Burpee Challenge at the moment and will be doing burpees in-between my paragraphs, I’m a  little behind and need to catch up)

The minute I knew it was okay to wear my previous dress, I emailed three of the other bridesmaids, my closest friends and asked them if I could borrow their dresses if needed, and they all said yes.  The sizes I was guessing were 14, 10, 4/6.  Now I know I’m not getting down to the 4/6, and if I do, I’m buying a new dress.  I was wrong about the 14, she was in fact a 10, so I have access to two 10s, one is bigger then the other, but it gives me options.  I didn’t email the other bridesmaids as I’m not as close with them.

I was off this week, so I decided to pull out the three previous dresses I’ve worn to see how I look in them now.  The one I wore 6 years ago is big, in fact, I can pull it all the way down to my waist but it’s not coming off yet. That was a size 26. The second one was about 5 years ago, it was custom made to out bodies and it doesn’t fit at all, I wasn’t a fan of it but this sucks a little since I can’t even zip it up.  That a brings us to the black dress which was two years ago, it goes on great and it’s big, I jumped for joy, I’m going to be in my friend’s dress in no time, then I looked at the size, it’s a 28.  You’ve got to be kidding me!!!!

Trying to go from a size 28 to a 10 will be hard, that’s 8 sizes, I can make the size 10 dress my goal, but I need an in-between just in case.  The bride knew what was going on and I emailed her, she told me that her sister’s dress was either a size 16 or 18 but did have to get altered numerous times.  This is a option for me.  I told her to see if she can get it from her, my concern about this dress is that it might be too short for me as I’m about 4inches taller then her sister.  So we’ll see if this works out.

I stayed at my friend’s place this week, she was one of the size 10s, in fact, she owes the dress that was the  bigger of two size 10 dresses and I’ve kept her involved in my weight lost journey, she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders since we met back in high school.  She mentioned that her dress was in the guest bedroom and if I wanted to try it on, I should.

So before I went to bed, I decided to entertain the idea of trying on the 10.  Well I wasn’t able to step into it but I was able to pull it over my head.  She has the right length for me (thank god she likes to wear super high heels), there was no way I was going to be able to zip it up but I could see that If I lose weight on my mid section, this dress might fit.  This gives me so much hope.

(Side note, I’ve now completed 100 burpees, I’m calling it a break for now.)

So one would ask yourself, if I have these options, why am I up early on a Saturday morning, dragging my ass to this shopping trip. Well, since all the bridesmaids are going, I felt the need to go, need to see what the other girls find. (Side note, there are 7 bridesmaid and 3 of us have already found dresses we like but we’re all going.)  Also, who knows, I might find another dress that interests me, so we’ll see.

I’ll try to post an update are the shopping trip.

Welcome to the 230s

It finally happened, on Thursday I made it into the 230s. It feels so good to be in the 230s. The last time I was in the 230s, it was 2011 and that was 234lbs in February and I jumped up to 252lbs by the end of the year.   I will not be repeating that anytime soon.  Once I make it down to 234lbs, it will be all new ground for me as the only records I have of my weight is 234lbs in 2011, which is when I took bathing suit photos.

I’ve been getting to the gym regularly, still need to work on the weekend workouts. I’ve been really good about my meal planning, in fact, this week I’ve taken it a step further to curb my snacking during the week at work.  The only thing I would buy during the day is a pop and maybe a candy bar for a treat, so this week while grocery shopping, I picked up mini pop cans (cheaper this way) and some pudding cups to put in my lunch bag.  If I planned out right, then I shouldn’t need it pick up anything else.  I’ll see how it goes tomorrow.

I’ve completed Week 5, Day 3 twice notice, I feel great about the 20 min run.  I’ll move onto Week 6 tomorrow.  I look forward to giving you a mid week update.

20.4lbs down since Jan 1.13

I did it! I did it!

Saturday was the family weigh-in and I hit the scale at 240.4, which means I’ve finally lost the first 20lbs, it only took 13 months.  All jokes aside, I’m super happy, this shows me I can do it,  with some planning and hard word, I can do this.

With respect to the family bet, no everyone got their numbers in time but me, but right I’ve been deemed the winner and according to the rules we set, I’m the only one who can win because I submitted my numbers on time.   Yea me!!

Not going to lie, wished it had been 239.8, I would have loved to hit that one, but it’s about one or two runs away, I can feel it.

I did all my food prep on Sunday, I got home late from family dinner, so I had to power through it.  I even cooked some plain penne pasta to keep in the fridge.  I know it’s not the best option but there are some nights where I just don’t want to cook, so I figure if I already have the pasta cooked, I just have to warm up some sauce and I’m ready to go.  Takes away any option of ordering in.

I feel great in general, I’ve noticed a change in my clothes and I’ve already moved up two belt loops, one more to go and the belt will be to big for me.  So happy. 

I did allow myself some treats this weekend  but I’m back on track and ready to tackle the next month!

Train of Thought

So I went out for dinner on Wednesday with a friend, I was good during dinner, I did get a dessert but since I planned for the dinner, I allowed myself the dessert.  Side note, it wasn’t worth it, it was good but it didn’t hit the spot. My friend and I were walking home and I dropped her off at the bus stop and I was passing by a store and I just kept  thinking to myself, I could just go in, grab a bottle of pop or ice cream.  But no, I can’t do that!!

Yesterday, I was leaving the gym and walking home, I know I’m going to make fish for dinner.  I didn’t really want fish but I had planned that and I didn’t want to differ from the plan.  As I’m walking home, I’m thinking, I could stop in the store and grab some KD, or pizza, or pop….no!!

These are the thoughts that keep running through my head. I know they won’t go away, I just need to keep saying no to myself.  It’s just as bad during the day at work, how many times it crossed my mind to go to Starbucks and grab a cookie or something, sad part, I usually cave to those, I need to improve my will power during the day.

I need to improve my dinner options, I think I’m going to aim and work at making dinners during the weekend so I can just warm them up during the weeknights.  There are to many times I’m coming home and I just want the quickest and easiest thing.  The reason I’ve been making the fish is because I can throw it in the pan and fry it quickly.  I’m off in a few weeks so I think I’ll break down and plan out some stuff. 

1.4lbs away

I’ve really put my mind to this change and making it happen, it’s like I woke up this year and decided, nope no more, I’m going to lose this weight, no matter what.  I jumped on the scale this morning and I was 242.2, that’s the lowest I’ve been in years and it puts me 1.4lbs away from hitting 20lbs lost from my starting weight of 260.8 on January 1, 2013.   It yo-yoed last year and I managed to keep 10lbs off, but I have to keep going.

If I can keep my momentum going and lost the 1.4lbs by Feb 1, just in time for the family weigh-in, that will help me hit my first goal of 10lbs lost in the first month. 

I’ve been keeping up with the gym three times a week, it seems I always have something going on at least one night and I like to do something different on Friday nights.  I do need to work on getting to the gym on the weekends.  I’ve also kept my evening yoga practice up, which has been great and very helpful for my sleep.

I’ll keep everyone updated on the progress and how I do on the family weigh-in. 

Progress

I donated a bag of clothes this week, it was super easy to pull stuff from my closet and just place it in the bag, I looked at each item, if I didn’t wear it, I put it in, if I didn’t like how it fit, I put it in, I don’t feel like I have less clothes, I just got rid of things I don’t need.

I also worked on financial stuff this week, and you wouldn’t think that has anything to do with weight-loss but for me, it a stresser, so for me to work on stuff that was going to help remove a stresser, it’s huge. The steps I took helped me adjust things and helped remove some stress.  I actually really feel good about going into February.

This week I hit up the gym on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and felt great after each trip.  I did a training run on Tuesday and Thursday, and on Thursday I moved onto Day 2 of Week 5 which is two 8 min runs, at first I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it but I did!! I was really impressed with myself.

I’ve been keeping an eye on my weight, I had dinner plans on Saturday and had a baby shower on today (Sunday), so I knew there were lots of opportunities to overdo it.  I jumped on the scale yesterday and I was down to 243.2. (Woo-Hoo!!) This is the lowest I’ve been since May (I was 244.2 last May) and I don’t have records of my various weights but do have a photo of me in a bathing suit in Feb 2011 and I was 234.  (Ever now and then I take photos in my bathing suits and use them as markers for my journey.)  So I’m feeling good.

Just need to make it to Feb 1 for the family weigh-in, I’m looking forward to it!

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