I am tired of eating!

Posted by gum232 on May 23rd, 2011 |Filed Under ME | Leave a Comment

Oh my!  HUGE HURDLE!  You don’t know a hurdle until you go to the best Asian buffet in our town.  Some friends wanted to go for lunch today.  What was I thinking?  Could I do it? Could I maintain control in one of the most tempting, scrumptious organized feeding troughs around?? No crab legs at lunch so it was cheaper but the enticement was there still and the mentality of “getting my money’s worth.”  The struggle was the hardest of eating a replacement bar or trying to make the best choices.  The stress level was so elevated.  Self-torment is an understatement.  It was mentally exhausting and practically debilitating and even was making me somewhat nauseous.

The options were running through my head – without even going to the bars for the visuals that I have embedded and memorized over the last few years.  Choices? Meat -Peel and eat shrimp – could work but lots of work involved.  DO I want to put forth that much effort?  Maybe? Maybe not?  Salad – sick of salad.  The thought of having to eat 8 oz of raw veggies just about makes me gag.  Needed some kind of vegetables cooked down to about 4 oz. without all kinds of syrup ridden, fat ridden, salt ridden juices that they are cooked and soaked in to help them slide on down.  Fruit – actually one of the few places, buffets, that you can get fresh fruit – so that wasn’t going to be a problem.

The decision, the long debated overly-complicated choice that was finally made… the hibachi bar.  Well I knew that might not be the complete best but I requested only the pepper paste seasoning.  Don’t think there’s really anything else in it like all the sauces. So there’s a line of people.  I would have hoped for an ideal situation being that of one where only my food is on the grill touching none others – steamed only, etc.  Do you think that happened???  Why of course it did -NOT!  Ugh!  I’m standing patiently, trying to avoid “eye contact” with the sushi bar attached to the end of the hibachi.  Don’t look! Don’t look!  I kept coaching myself and trying to stay focused.  It was the longest few minutes standing in that line.  I chose a little chicken and a little shrimp – hoping for about 6 oz cooked once cooked, and some mushrooms and sprouts – hoping for about 4 oz cooked.  Well, he cleaned the grill and slabbed on the margarine!  I about wanted to walk away.  Wow!  I am actually afraid of food now.  Crazy as that sounds.  He sloshes scoop after scoop after scoop of soy, terriyaki and garlic sauces all over the piles of food cooking around mine.  I resisted the urge to say anything and told myself that I’ll live.  Might shock the heck out of my body since I haven’t consumed anything similar in months. 

The scales came out!  WEIGH EVERYTHING!  To the best of your ability weigh everything that you eat is one of the best tips that I can give.  Whatever your plan is, with a digital scale – you can do it.  I was about an ounce over on the meat so I actually left some shrimp on my plate.  Say what???  No!  Yep!  I did – I left food on my plate!!  Who’d have thunk it?  I didn’t weigh the vegetables but it should have been close.  The juices were left on the plate too, with sparkling little grease bubbles floating around like polka dot globules.  I pushed it away!  Then, after weighing out 4 oz., I enjoyed some cantaloupe.

TRIUMPHANT!!!  I lived to tell the tale of the meal I chose at an Asian buffet.  Now the wait for the weight that is read on the scales tomorrow………  Been drinking a lot of water to hopefully offset any extra sodium that snuck into my body. Hopefully I can flush it all out without any damage.

So how do I feel?  Considering I have grown so tired of eating, I still have to feed my body what it needs which is mostly protein.  My serving size for now, with some options, is roughly 6 oz of meat.  Sometimes the mound of meat seems to swell with each bite that I have to struggle to eat.  I am tired of eating.  There!  I said it.  I am tired of eating!  But this is about my body and what it needs not what I need emotionally and mentally.  I can reach the overall goal by the end of the year. I want to do it.  I need to do it. 



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