So, after being like 4 days late, TOM finally is making an appearance. Which helps explain the hormonal hell I’ve been through the past week (it’s always worse when it’s late, it’s like my PMS goes into overtime!) But the worst, the very very very worst part of it… my two seriously heavy painful days are going to be Monday and Tuesday. Why is this so awful? Well, tomorrow I’ll be on a plane for NYC which is like a 5 hour flight. Just what I want to be doing, running to the airplane bathroom every hour to change myself and stressing about leakage. When I’m late, TOM tends to be heavier, like those extra days create massive extra build-up. Tuesday, my daughter and I are going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Which is awesome. Except I’m going to see more of their bathrooms than probably the rest of the place! However, I’m guessing that their bathrooms are like exquisite, so maybe this isn’t such a negative. The cramping, however, combined with my bad knee… maybe I can rent one of those little scooters. Cause I think this counts as being totally disabled. Disclaimer: I’m not in any way trying to minimize or mock those who are truly disabled or differently abled or whatever the PC term is these days. It’s just that I’m a big, whiny baby. It’s not you, it’s me.
So, that’s it. My weight is up. I’m hanging in the 149.XX range by a Sugar-free Jello Pudding Cup. It’s not pretty. I had a Carl’s Jr. Low Carb Burger yesterday for lunch thinking it was a good choice. I got it without cheese or mayo - 390 calories. Yeah, guess what. It also has 27 grams of fat, so it was 10 WW points - that is half my daily points!! For one lousy bunless, cheeseless burger?! WTF? Seriously! I could have had the Charbroiled BBQ Chicken Sandwich WITH bun for 6 points. Obviously, I still have lots to learn about this whole points vs. calories thing. I fear my weigh-in when we get back. If Vegas was any indication, I’m really going to pack it on in NYC.
And I’m really disappointed with myself. I really wanted to be in the 130s by the time we hit NYC. That was a totally realistic goal. As of now, I’ll be lucky not to be in the 150s tomorrow morning. I want to just shake myself. I mean, a month ago I was only 4.6 pounds away! Now I’m 10 pounds away!! The whole not being able to exercise thing is really kicking my attitude’s ass. And so instead of focusing on optimal eating, it’s more of a what the hell does it matter anyway eating. That, my friends, is fat girl thinking. I may be wearing a size 8 on the outside, but I’m still a 20 on the inside. I have got to get this figured out. Hopefully before I turn 40 next year.
I’m going to make a note here: 21 years ago yesterday (Valentine’s Day) my father died in a skiing accident; he was 41. I was 17, my brothers were 15 & 10 and my baby sister had just turned 4. I am now 38. My oldest daughter is 17, my boys are 16, 12 & 7 and my baby daughter is 4. Needless to say, I’m facing my own mortality in an unpleasant way right now. I’m freaking out a bit. And the two plane crashes in NY in the past few weeks aren’t helping me feel any better. A few extra prayers, good thoughts and positive energy directed skyward on Monday (flying from SFO to JFK) and Saturday (flying from JFK to SFO) would be most appreciated!!
Posted on February 15th, 2009 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering
Sure you can run thru me, but i have to warn you… you’ll be running sloooooooow! ha!
Enjoy your trip to NY! I am so jealous. I have never been and I want to go SO badly. We’ll say a lil prayer for your safe trip tonight.
I’ll send prayers your way on Monday and Saturday. Flying is always scary. I have a trip coming up too and it is hard to put thoughts like plane crashes out of your mind, but eventually I just leave it in the Lord’s hands and think that whatever will be, will be.
I’m sorry to hear about your dad
A death in the family on or around a holiday forever makes that Holiday a reminder of that.
If you’re wearing a size 8, and used to be a size 20? You’ve come a long way so don’t beat yourself up over these things that are slowing you down… the TOM, the trips, the knee surgery. It’ll only take longer to get to your goal, but you do have the rest of your life to do this and maintain this. God willing the rest of your life is many decades long.
I’ve never been to NY. Have fun for me, and enjoy!
There are several advantages to shopping online, the first one being the ability to shop at a time that is convenient to you, not just when the shops are open. The second advantage of shopping online is that goods are often cheaper as the seller does not have the costs of running a shop and having to pay wages to salespeople, insurance and all of the other running costs of a real world business.
There are some guidelines that will make your online toy shopping go a lot easier. While you will most likely find varied opinions, you’ll probably see an overall positive or negative consensus on a particular toy or brand.