They finally broke me… March 19, 2009
my worthless workplace that is. I cried at work today… so not my style. I bust my virtual balls. Day in, day out, 10years plus, analyzing every move for political correctness, environmental appropriateness, regulatory compliance, societal acceptance, perception appropriateness, effectiveness, completeness, and general cover everyone else ass-ness. I’m effing tired. So when I say… I can’t get a minute to myself, I am not frickin exagerating. When the internet surfing, break taking, “oh my gosh I had to respond to something today” workers say they are waiting on me, F ‘em. I am taking my lunch today. I am at my desk but I am taking a full hour, not answering one question from the outside, not picking up a phone, or even opening the door to my office for that matter, or helping, or smiling or acknowledging, or consoling, or mentalling massaging, or providing information to, or offer advice to ANY FLIPPING HUMAN IN THIS OFFICE! They can wait on me for real. While I take my break. and vent. I balance, monitor, cut and justify the 40 million dollar budget annually, while they pat themselves on the back for staff reports, research, analysis, and general schmoozing that I DO to get them their fancy pay checks. I am overwhelmed, overloaded, under-rested, and over it all together. My sex life is suffering. My blood work is stellar buy my ass is huge. My brain litterally shuts off at about 6pm every night and I quit processing anything. Simple sentences even. So I go home and veg out during the time I should be nuturing my home relationship. Poor Boblian, who is home all day on disability at the moment, wants to talk and share and go, go, go. I seriously would probably do well in an isolation cell. Im not even sure that I can keep a convincing “I’m paying attention” look on my face at home 1/2 the time. And it has nothing to do with with him. I cant believe I broke today. I’m pissed.
Gonna pretty straight forward like put the burden of the stuff dropped off my desk back in the hands of those avoiding their own work. Yeah, I am a Support position to the Executive team, but I have my own work too… .and the boys making twice what I do can learn to do their own freaking work. 
Gonna go eat a whole bag of full fat popcorn and see what kind of screaming coupon deals I can find in the next 45 minutes. Sheesh.
Aw I’m sorry. I agree, F*** them. You need your lunch break, TAKE IT- the stuff you have to do will be there and guess what- if you don’t finish it then it’ll STILL be there tomorrow! I’m sure everyone ELSE takes their sweet ass time on a lunch break- why can’t you?
I worked for a company for four months where I busted my ass ONLY to be told I wasn’t taking orders and so on. I was like wtf are you talking about- I work 12 hours a day, only get paid for 8, and so on. Finally I was like screw this and kept applying for work and would take off time to go to interviews (I told them I had things to take care of) and literally the last two weeks I was there I didn’t speak a word to anyone AND I didn’t go above and beyond at ALL, I did my 8 hours and would leave, wouldn’t say a word at meeting unless someone asked me, and so on. When I found a new job it was the greatest moment EVER. The day I went to turn in my two week notice they told me “they were letting me go” and gave me severance pay. I was like pft whatever I’m OUT OF HERE. Packed up my stuff, didn’t say goodbye to anyone and left, called my new job and said I could start earlier so I basically got one and a half week sof vacation time before I started my new job.
And the best part? All the stuff I’d been trying to help the manager out with and telling her people were doing wrong came back to bite her in the a55 SO HARD. All their equipment broke down because the stuff I was taking care of when people would make mistakes wasn’t happening anymore- I LOVED IT!
Haha okay now I’ll stop- IMO if your job makes you cry it’s time to look for a new one!
Man that so sucks that they have stressed you out to this degree!
You deserve your lunch!
Look for another job while still working here.
IF you can take a day off to de-compress , de-stress, re-connect with DH etc ….
)))HUGS((((
Joy
Hang in there, babycakes, it’ll only get worse…I mean BETTER!
Seriously, it seems like every time you go above and beyond your job, it BECOMES your job. I once worked with a woman who was sitting on her butt complaining that she was bored and I suggested she do a quick little job to help out a co-worker who was absolutely swamped. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, “No Way! If I do it once, I’ll set a precedent and they’ll expect me to do it again.”
I have a hard time dealing with that kind of attitude because I like to think I’m a team player and have the big picture in mind but I totally understand what she was saying. Must be a lot smarter than we are, Chickie!
I appreciate you. Everyone who does the best they can each and every time they do something appreciates you.
Take a break, enjoy the weekend.
Big Hugs!
Hey K. How was your lunch escape? Is it slowing down at all? Can you leave an hour early so that you can get a little break before heading home? Head up to the water or the mountains or the hills for an hour (and maybe smoke a big one?) and just relax, then head home? How about a few days vacation? So sorry that I’ve been such a horrible blog buddy. I fell off the planet. My fat ass cushioned the fall though. I wish you’d come back. But maybe you’re on that break I was talking about?
-kt
P.S. “Smoke a big one” was a joke. Maybe.
Hey K. I wish you would come back. I hope you’re doing well. I’m trying to do well. Really, I am.
-kt
K,
Are you doing okay? We all miss you here. Hope to see you back and blogging soon. Take care
Joy