One woman…

…on a mission to get healthy!

Revelation February 5, 2014

Filed under: Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 11:45 am

Yeah it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Guess I’m not doing too well at keeping up with it, but I’m gonna try. As I’m relaxing this morning—reading a book—I realized something. I was thinking about the fact that I’ve lost 16 pounds in one month. When you start out at over 330 pounds, that’s just a small drop in the hat. (5% of my body weight) And then I’m thinking in six months that’s 160 pounds! That would put me at under 180, which is what I weighed starting my senior year in high school.

That can’t be possible. Who does that? Who loses over 150 pounds in less than a year? These are questions rolling through my overactive brain. Then the answer came to me. I CAN! I have been beating myself up about not really putting much effort into exercising and I told myself that I lost 16 pounds just by eating within a set amount of calories and increasing my water intake. Imagine what I could accomplish if I actually put forth a little more effort!

This is probably the first time EVER since I started trying to make healthy changes in my life that it hit me that I can truly do this (and not when I was on that euphoric high of first starting out and had the world in my hands). I have honestly just been going through the motions (but going through them) and I lost 16 pounds (and 3 inches off my waist)!

Yes I know that realistically me losing 16 pounds a month until I get to a healthy weight isn’t all that realistic. It is possible and it’s a goal for me to shoot for but not beat myself up if it doesn’t happen. This is the rest of my life and not a race. The weight will come off, I will gain muscle and I will live the life of a healthy person!

 

Goals January 6, 2014

Filed under: Goals — dawnyalh @ 3:16 pm

Time to talk about goals. I want to have several short term and long term ones.

Short Term Goals

  • Get in at least 80 oz. of water/day
  • Exercise at least 30 min/day 6 days a week
  • Measure every two weeks
  • Log all food/exercise into MyFitnessPal

Long Term Goals

  • Get down to below 200 pounds
  • Maintain healthy habits of eating well and exercising
  • Give up my beloved Diet Mt. Dew (and all other carbonated drinks)
  • Give up all artificial sweeteners (keeping Stevia)

I’ve tried to sit down and put this in writing several times today and I keep forgetting the ones I wanted to put. This will do for now. :)

 

Same stuff…new year January 5, 2014

Filed under: Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 6:44 pm

I suppose I could probably pull any one of my blog posts I’ve posted in any January and just clip and paste. Without looking back I’m sure they’ve all probably got the same amount of past excuses and positive outlooks on how this year is going to be different. I’m not. You know how this year is different? Me neither. J/K
It’s going to be a different year because I’m not going to let myself give up on me. I have the time and will gain the energy to keep myself motivated. I have the tools I need to succeed. What I lack is the mental wherewithal to keep it going. I know that is my main weakness and I’m going to overcome it. And, I hate failing. I’m taking a different approach and telling myself that those gazillion pounds I’ve lost AND gained over the past however many years weren’t failures. They were learning experiences and I’ve got an amazing education on what not to do. :)
I’m not pulling up any of my old pictures or weight loss graphs to see what I’m capable of…I know what I can do. This time it is one day at a time, one meal at a time if necessary. We are all living our lives. The question is how do you want to live it? I choose to live my life to my healthiest best and stop being unhealthy, unhappy, and unmotivated.

 

I had a dream February 16, 2013

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 9:05 am

To say this dream was an eye opener would be an understatement. I’ve had weird dreams but this one wouldn’t rank as high on the weirdo-meter than most.
The gist (it started out in movie format but had a moment in the middle with me being an active participant):

It was a Biggest Loser meets Fear Factor type TV show but I had more of a behind-the-scenes look. This one had one guy who was maybe 20 pounds overweight on out who believed the whole show was pretty much fake. The majority of the dream was following the day-to-day activities on the ranch.
Then the final challenge/weigh in. The contestants (who were in pairs this time) would step to the side & give a brief diary spiel then get harnessed in to be weighed. They then had to jump up to a platform that was raised, weighed & then zip lined into a water park type slide, them had to sprint to the end. While sprinting their loss came up on a jumbotron & they did another off the cuff interview. It was down to 20-pounds guy, his partner & a set of twins for who would be the lowest amount lost. Guy gets on the scale & says I expect for us top be the lowest since I don’t believe this works. Oh a Jeff Probst/Bob Harper hybrid was the host. He climbs up to the scale mechanism, gives his which team will be on the bottom speech & leaps them off to commercial. Last guy to weigh in goes to climb onto the scale but production crews start raising the platform. Rather than just lowering it back down, they make him attempt to swing himself up. He knocked over the scale, kicked the cameraman off the perch, but made it onto the platform. Then it cuts to one of the guys doing a victory lap interview making all kinds of funny arm poses, faces & body gestures. Then it showed his family in the stands commenting how he’s a new man & the show had helped him to find his confidence, blah blah. Cut to the host who says sometimes scenes may be weeks old or live & that it was part of the new format. Next shot is of an old woman (picture the lady from the Titanic movie at the end with her hair all down & flowing) doing her victory lap saying she’s just happy to get to go on the ride.
Then it cuts to a shot of me doing the final jog. I can’t remember all of what I said but in my tearful speech I was saying how the kids always tried to encourage me to lose weight & I couldn’t even do it for them. (That’s when I started crying.) I continued with I always just assumed fear is what held me back from losing weight when all along it was pure & simple laziness.

It was so real. My dream switched to me starting to do daily video diaries of my journey. I woke up feeling one of those light bulb moments. I KNOW I can do this. I have all the tools necessary but I’m too damn lazy to want to put forth the effort.
The question is do I truly WANT to change? I want to be able to run a marathon & not have to shop in the plus size section. I want lots of things I know my weight is holding me back. But do I want it enough to put forth the effort to make it happen? Right now? I don’t know. Besides fear & laziness I have hate. I HATE the hand I was dealt & that I have to work so hard @ it. In my mind I know everyone works hard at being fit; not just those of us who need to lose weight but I’m stuck in the “why me” loop.
I don’t mind that I need to log my foods & plan out exercise. I HATE having to come up with menus (and normally I love to plan). We’ve eaten unhealthy for so long that our usual go to items aren’t healthy. I would love to have someone plan the meals for me without having to pay an arm & a leg.
I have just over one week where I have a lot of time to get in exercise Biggest Loser style before I start my new job & life takes on a new twist. The question is will I?
I at least know what I need to do now. It’s time to set out my short-term & long-term goals with my plan to achieve them & to figure out how to lose the laziness.

 

New year, same me…for now! January 30, 2013

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 10:57 pm

Well it’s been about six months since I last visited (wrote in) my blog. Time has passed. My life’s been lived and yet I’m still facing the same demons—learning how to eat healthy and get regular exercise. I know the ins and outs. It’s the mental battle I’m waging this time.
We are a month into the new year and I’m happy to report I’ve been eating healthy and exercising regularly for the most part. I tipped the scales on Jan. 1 at 336 pounds (just 8 pound shy of my all-time high). I had my brief pity party and looked back on the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s; put on my big girl panties and got to work.
It hasn’t been coming off as quickly as I would have liked (or what I’ve seen in times past) and I’m okay with that. I’m getting healthy and that’s the most important aspect of this journey.
I stepped on my Wii fit this afternoon to exercise and was disappointed that I still weighed the same from Monday—despite working out 2x a day thus far this week (3x today) and staying well within my calories. Then it hit me. I’m taking not one, but two medications that cause weight gain. Not only have I lost a couple inches each in my chest and waist, I’m down 12 pounds in a month. That’s an average of 3 pounds a week. Not too shabby if I do say so myself! (And I’ll address the meds at my next doc appointment and hopefully drop one and change another so I won’t have to battle my medication as well as everything else.)
The year that was 2012 brought many ups and downs in my life (and not just the number on the scale). I quit my job in October. I was tired of all the stress and decided it was time for a change. I’ve been enjoying being a SAHM for now. After Thanksgiving my Dad was diagnosed with non-operable stage-4 pancreatic cancer. That came as a shock. I’ve shed many tears and have cherished the time I get to spend with him. He’s on his second round of 3 weeks on 1 week off of chemo and will continue that for another month before he has a PET scan to see what the chemo has done. He’s been doing amazing! With the type of chemo he gets, it’s unlikely he’ll lose his hair. While I’m working my ass off to lose weight, he’s doing everything he can to gain.
I’m once again working on a 3-month health challenge. I’m utilizing the Slim in 6 series and again attempting the couch-5k program. I’d like to participate in the Color Run and the OKC Memorial Run—both in April. My daughter is doing the training with me because you know, who wants to do the Color Run by herself? :) Depending on how well I’m jogging (or wogging in my case) at the first of March will determine whether or not I enter the 5k or half-marathon for the Memorial. Optimistic I know but I’ve had a dream to run at least the half-marathon for that race for a long time. If not this year, it will be next.
One thing I noticed with her—both Monday with the c25k training Monday and her doing Biggest Loser workout on the Wii tonight—is that even though she may be a healthy weight, her stamina just wasn’t there. She tried to sprint the first 1-minute run and had to walk before the minute was up. The next few times, even though she slowed down, I had better stamina than she did. Tonight she was doing some yoga poses (Warrior, etc.) and had trouble holding them. It really opened my eyes that we (the kids and I) need to workout more as a family. I don’t need to depend on the exercising they are doing at school to be enough. We need to work on their core.

 

Time goes on July 3, 2012

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals — dawnyalh @ 12:38 pm

And yet I’ve stood still…or so it seems. Can’t remember the last time I posted anything here. (I’m sure I could look it up.) To say I was derailed would be an understatement. When I figured out we wouldn’t be able to take our amazing trip last month, the wind went out of my sails and I stopped trying as hard. Attempted a challenge at the beginning of the year only to drop out with 6 weeks left because I was just so overwhelmed with everything. I ended up gaining 15 more pounds in the interim…putting me back up to 305.

I started a new challenge yesterday and I’m determined to stick to it. Slim in 6 is going to be my friend. :) I’m on day two and already woke up with a massive migraine that sidelined this morning’s workout. I have the DVD loaded and ready to play. I’m going to have to do it tonight…I HAVE to do it so I can “earn” the extra calories. I’m not sure what is wrong with me but I’m hunger. All. The. Time. I’ve been having small 100 calorie or less snacks and waiting 30-45 minutes between eating them to make sure I’m full drinking a lot of water but it doesn’t seem to help. I’m just going to take it as is and try to make the healthiest choices possible.

I signed up again to do the Race for the Cure in September. I’m going to be better prepared this time with my inhaler and going to work on the c25k program. I guess that’s about it in a nutshell.

 

It’s been a while October 18, 2011

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 10:52 am

This is my life. It tends to get in the way of my blogging. What can I say? My weight loss is going FANTASTIC. I couldn’t ask for better results! I’ve lost 10 pounds in the last month with 5.7 of them coming off in the last two weeks and that was with Mother Nature’s visit. I’m now down to 279.1. Again I had to look twice because the weight didn’t register when I looked at it. I’m not in the 280s anymore. Most days when I log my calories into MFP it now tells me I can be in the 260s in 5 weeks. It always brings a smile to my face.

The past couple of weekends I have had some excessive eating/drinking. Two weeks ago was the Girl’s Weekend out so that one was completely planned and expected. Back on track Monday morning. Went to the Zoo on Saturday and walked for a couple of hours and then Mom treated us to Golden Corral where I did fine up until the end and went overboard on desserts. It wasn’t near what it would’ve been in the past but I did eat to being completely miserable.

Yesterday we ate at the Arches for dinner and then I was famished (yes famished) last night and snacked on cookies and chips and dip. My healthy portion of my eating hasn’t been where it needs to be. I am logging what I eat though and I did go through a couple of weeks where I was barely getting 1200 calories. I’m guessing my body just needed the extra calories and the carrot sticks just didn’t sound good.

I wish I could say I’ve been exercising like a mo-fo but that is pretty much non-existent except for the 2 hikes from a couple weeks ago and the walking at the Zoo. I just can’t get myself motivated to do it. I signed up to do the World Run Day on Nov. 5 and committed to a 5k and haven’t done any running/jogging/walking since the Race on Sept. 17. I keep telling myself “you need to start” and then don’t. I was going to yesterday and then the I’m getting sick excuse came up. I am getting sick with a sore throat, chest hurting, aching all over like I’m coming down with the flu but it just seems like I can come up with any excuse to keep from doing any exercise.

I keep trying to tell myself just set a date that you are going to start exercising at the very least but then I shy away from it. I don’t know if I’m afraid if I start doing it that I’m going to do too much and then fail or what but I need to figure it out. I really do like to exercise once I start. I can’t get myself to the starting line.

 

I did it!!! September 19, 2011

Filed under: Exercise, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 12:39 pm

I finished the Race for the Cure in under 1 hour…barely. But I made it and that’s what counts. I did start out jogging and had high hopes of jogging at least half of it. That didn’t happen. As soon as I started, my chest started burning and I was having problems breathing. I tried telling myself it was all in my mind. I slowed my jog. I tried to breathe through my nose and out through my mouth. I started out with Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” It’s a great song and it motivated me well on Thursday. I jogged all the way through that song and halfway through the next one and that was on my third round of jogging on that day. I barely made it through half of the song before I started walking during the Race.
I kept my walking pace brisk for me. Sure I kept getting passed but I didn’t care. It was way different from the first 5k I ever did. That one, I felt like a complete failure. This time, I kept plugging away. At times I even did a long stride fast walk. My total time? 56:09. I met Sheila about halfway through. She and I kept passing each other along the way and finally just walked side by side. She walked for her mom who has stage 4 breast cancer. We both decided to jog the last bit and it took all I had to jog the last less than 2 blocks of that race. I had the same chest seizing up wheezing problems that I had in the beginning. I kept telling myself I can do this and Sheila kept telling me I could do it and we finished the race together.

I am going to go back to the c25k training and see if I can get my breathing under control. If it’s not better today without the adrenaline rush then I’m gonna call my doc and have her order me an inhaler. I really do like jogging and the freedom it gives. It’s calming and peaceful and something to get me away from the stress of life. I don’t want it to be stressful.

While looking up a couple of things before the Race, I came across the half-marathons for Race for the Cure. One has piqued my interest. Yes a half-marathon! Who wouldn’t want to do a half marathon in Hawaii on their honeymoon? :D Yep. There’s happens to be when we’ll be in Hawaii. It comes with added stipulations—like a minimum of $2300 in fundraising—but it also comes with perks—hotel stay. I’ve been tossing it around in my head since I saw it.

It’s time for Jeff and I to have a serious heart to heart and decide if we are going to renew our vows in Hawaii next year or not. I know he says we are going to do that but we are talking a $10k chunk of change that we just don’t have lying around (and that’s not counting a dress, cake, wedding stuff, etc). It is something that we can do if we plan for it now…but we haven’t yet and that scares me. I don’t want to commit to something or tell someone who might be coming that it’s going to happen only to have us not be able to afford to go.

Final note: Down 2 pounds this week.

 

I did it in the pool! August 19, 2011

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 11:11 am

It’s not as kinky as it sounds. That would’ve required my honey pie to be in the pool with me and ablsiter whole lot less kids out of there for that to happen. LOL.

The blister on my right foot I got when doing c25k w1d1 on Tuesday is still giving me fits. (See photo to the right and please ignore my dry heel. I really need some pampering in that area. Time for a parafin dip or something.)

As I mentioned yesterday about attempting w1d2 and not making it, I didn’t want to be deterred. I’m all about being innovative and improvising.

innovative |ˈinəˌvātiv|
adjective
(of a product, idea, etc.) featuring new methods; advanced and original

New Oxford American Dictionary

Yep. That’s me. Queen Innovator. I’ve become quite good at it, especially after I became a mom.

I figured why not just do the laps in the pool. Sure I might get dizzy going in circles but I could still get the benefits of the walking/jogging intervals. Other than not having speakers to hook my phone into and it not being very loud, it worked out pretty well. I just had Lilly stand by the ladder at the end to tell me when my beeps hit so I could start/stop jogging on time. I did start getting shin splints from the water pushing on them but once I was done, the pain went away.

The down side to working out in the pool was it was at my mom’s and I had to do it after dinner and after being on the phone with Dish network for over 30 minutes. That means we didn’t get home until after 9. I went ahead and ate my scheduled night time snack of a fiber one peanut butter chocolate brownie.  It put me at just over 1200 calories for yesterday. That was the only food I ate after 9 p.m.

I also woke up with horrible heartburn. The heartburn didn’t start until I started changing the way I’m eating. I’ve been eating the smaller portions more frequently and it’s helped. As long as I’ve eaten those snacks at bedtime, I haven’t been waking up with the heartburn. This morning, it was the worst yet. I even lay back down after chomping on Tums. Ended up falling back asleep and coming in to work late. I was already a couple of hours over that I could burn so that wasn’t a biggie. I don’t know if the extra fiber I’m adding into my diet is causing it or what. I just know that I’ve NEVER had this problem outside of being pregnant and I know that’s not the cause.

But…I do have one amazing positive! I am wearing a navy blue mini skirt I paid a buck for off the clearance rack a couple of years ago and was never able to squeeze my fat ass into complete with a red 22/24 shirt that was also too tight. Yay me!

Upcoming

  • Biggest Loser workout on the Wii tonight
  • C25k w1d3 workout either in my yard or in the pool if blister isn’t better.
  • A look back at the ghosts of my dieting past. I do believe I may have learned something.
 

A new mini-goal August 18, 2011

Filed under: Food, Goals — dawnyalh @ 9:16 am

My nighttime snacking has gotten severely out of control. I’m well within my calories (way under even) but I just find myself munching and munching and munching. Sometimes I’m hungry; other times it’s more the hand-to-mouth disease.

I don’t want to set a rule of no eating after a certain time because I just take that as a challenge to push the limits with a battle of will power. I suck at will power. Yeah I know Oprah said she did wonderful with no eating after 7 p.m. Hell half the time I’m not even home until 7:30 or 8 by the time I go pick up the kids from mom and dad’s and eat dinner at their house. Instead, I’m going to set myself a small mini-goal of no eating at 9 p.m. for the next week. It’s feasible for me. It has a start and stop time and if I’m hungry and I can adjust my breakfast the next morning. (Who knows I might like it so much, I will just stick with it)

I think I just freak myself out when I look at MFP and see 400 calories or whatnot leftover, especially when I workout in the evenings and it adds on the extra calories that I can have to the end of the day. I somehow feel I need to eat those extra calories.

Shoot I even had a conversation something like this with myself last night:

Me1: Wow! I’ve only had just over 1300 calories today. After adding in my exericse it shows I should have around 1830 calories. That’s still 500 calories left I could spend.

Me2: You know if you don’t spend them that’s about 1/5 of a pound less you will have to lose.

Me1: But what if I’m eating too few calories? I know I’ll go pop a 100 calorie popcorn. Yeah that sounds good to have while watching TV.

Meanwhile a bit later:

Me2: That’s only 1400 calories you’ve had today AND you’ve exercised. Don’t you think you need to stuff that face with more calories?

Me1: I’m not really hungry. I think I should go to sleep.

Me2: But you need those calories.

This would be me taking my big butt into the kitchen and grabbing out my carefully counted out apple-cinnamon quakes from the pantry and eating them to bring my calorie count to 1552 for yesterday. And you know what? My scale this morning reflected a slight gain. Not sure what it was since I keep it on the BMI on the wii fit except on Monday mornings when I officially weigh in.

I need to learn to follow my intuition and not let my inner fat foodie dictate my life. I know I love just about any kind of food and would eat 24/7. That’s not going to happen if I want to be healthy and have a few pounds fall off in the process. What have I learned? Listen to my body and no eating after 9 p.m. this week!

 

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