! trANNsformation BaBy !

Yeah, so I was supposed to meet two folks today and both have flaked on me. Oh well. It’s never easy.

But the two hotties - one gave me his phone number (I’ll text him a ‘good morning’ tomorrow) and the other responded to my (good morning) text today saying he’d call me tonight. Otherwise, one guy said he wanted me to meet him over in his area (NOT). So it’s still been fun but as you can see - 30 some odd responses can easily wind up in like no actual meetings.

Meanwhile, Married is way way out of control. She confessed to me that she’s been drinking till she’s totally drunk with the married guy and coming home at 4am. She did this a weekend ago and her husband said nothing. She did it again last week and her husband checked her phone in the morning. He saw the other married guy’s name in there and said, “What’s going on?” She covered it up saying it was just someone who was helping to coordinate her plans and he said, ‘It’s all my fault - I drove you to this because you are so unhappy in our marriage.’ DANG?! I felt bad for the dude. I told her she needs to stop this shit, she is really veering out of control. But hey - she went with Shopaholic to a week long conference and she already got drinks bought for her by some random swinging dick on the plane. Oh well, I guess we’ll all just have to watch it hit the wall and be around to pick up the pieces….

So this weekend it’s Huntsville, Alabama so I’m glad to get away. I gotta check the weather and dress appropriately. It’ll be nice to have a change in scenery. I hope my co-worker is cool - we chit chat sometimes and she’s pretty fun but I’ve never spent any social time with her at all. She volunteered to go with me.

Today I read an article which said that exercise is the magic that keeps you young. I need to keep this in mind because I’m getting preoccupied with my outsides looking old and not considering that my insides need to be tended to as well. Exercise. Goddamn it. I need to get off my duff.

I think my period is coming to top it all off….

Cranky girl

Wow, how sleepy was I today after I took that meclizine because I felt dizzy at work this afternoon? Yeah, like coma sleepy. I barely made it home and threw myself in front of my portable heater on the floor trying to get warm. I was in and out of consciousness until about a half an hour ago. Now I’m awake sorta - and hungry again. But I’m not going to eat - I already had dinner.

Insatiable this hunger….

So tomorrow I’m meeting one dude at 10am (crowded coffee shop near my office) and the other at 7:30pm (crowded coffee shop) near my home. I heard back from both hotties (JD’s) - one who gave me his number and asked that I call him this evening. Ummmm - NOT! I’ll text him hello tomorrow morning. I’m pretty awkward with calling someone and talking to them when I’ve never met them. The MD however I have not heard from His e-mail was intense and my was very short so perhaps the lack of critical writing skills has put him off. Whatever.

Work is interesting - sorting through old ass files trying to figure out what goes with what - in other words a mild mess. But it’s manageable.

I don’t know what’s going on - perhaps I’m just exhausted or something but I’m waking up tired and not feeling well rested. I just want to go back to sleep!

Yawn. Better do that so I can roll in at a decent hour tomorrow.

I’m a little preoccupied at the moment as you can see….

Yep, I’ve been up to no good ladies. NO DAMN GOOD. I’ve posted an ad and that was last night around midnight. No picture of course - I don’t need everybody and their Mother seeing my goddamn painfully single chubby cheeks on the internet. (Face cheeks girls, keep it clean now!

So guess what - I’ve got 34 responses. Yes, some men sent me pictures of their penis’ in various states (3). I have to say, those were deleted after rereading my ad and wondering WTF?! Hello, this was not the CASUAL SEX page ok?! Gross men - always so goddamn inappropriate. Like someone saw a picture of their face and their dick (yes, they sent both) - then said, ‘Yes, I am dying to meet you - fellow well educated, funny, kind hearted and professional with a penchant for jazz and the finer things in life?!’ WTF? Anyhoo, I’ve got 3 really hot ones. One MD and two lawyers. Let me tell you that the lawyers are HOTTIES. Damn, one looks like Taye Diggs - I shit you not! The other one, super fine as well - mixed with German. Now let’s not speculate their character by their response to a pretty bare bones (yet cleverly written - yes, I am so full of it - all the time too - don’t fool yourself ;0) ad from a 38 year old. Yes, you didn’t read that wrong - I’ve gained 2 years of youth in my personal ad ladies…. I need to capture a larger audience. Can you say these men are obviously PLAYERS? Yes, I’m fine with it - we’ll have to see if I even get to meet them….

Wow, this is quite fun. I only wish I looked like Lucy Liu or some of my closest friends who are svelte, petite and young (33) Chinese girls. Oh well. I can only be me.

But it definitely helped my eating today! What a shallow bitch - I know! After all was it not I that said last night that I needed to rectify my sexual situation. Hmmm, one dude I actually met a few years ago when I was a lot heavier. He met me for coffee on a rainy day - he barely got me the tea and then we smiled a lot at each other but I never heard from him again. Ha, I see he’s still single. A real cutie though. I remember it wasn’t that great of a conversation - perhaps because he wasn’t into me or perhaps because he was an idiot?!? Who knows - but quite frankly WHO CARES?!

Damn, it’s times like these that I wish I was at least another 10 pounds lighter….

For a bitch that didn’t get to bed till 3am - I am full of fire! It’s called PUSSY POWER. I’ll let you know how it goes… I wrote a few of these men back today with my picture.

Meanwhile, I have to go to ALABAMA this Saturday-Monday! Yep, the crazy co-worker can’t go (THANK GOODNESS) so I’m gonna try to do it myself since all of my good friends are not around this weekend. I can’t imagine it would be difficult - it’s a 17,15,7 & 2 year old. The 17 year old can help me manage the 7 & 2 year old. I’m getting there on Saturday and meeting the kids at the airport (Alabama social worker is transporting) on Monday for the flight. The only shit part is the goddamn layovers. I found one that’s only 1 hour and 20 minutes so I had the travel person book it for me. The kids are not a flight risk - it’s just too bad they’re coming back to live in foster care because their Grandmother is in poor health (she was 83? Why someone thought this would be feasible - I don’t know!) and having surgery again. She’s been struggling with them since she left in August of last year. A disaster. So I’m gonna look up what’s shakin in Alabama so I can drive myself around and check out the sights. I’m also gonna put the mileage on my frequent flier thingie so I can someday get a free flight out of it!

Arrgh. Art class tomorrow and I still haven’t bought the goddamn supplies - will do that tomorrow. I found that getting there late was not cool - parking was a real monster.

Ok, it’s already 9:27 and I need to watch an episode of Dexter before I throw myself in bed. I’ve got another long drive out to see a kid tomorrow.

Keep your fingers crossed….

Damn, why can’t I just wait until I’m skinny?

Fuck, I just wrote this and somehow managed to erase it!

Fuck.

Woke up at nearly 1pm today! I went to sleep around 2am… WTF? I woke up tired too. Maybe I just needed that rest? I feel like I’m comin’ down with a bit of a cold. This rain is pretty cold…..I went out with ME today (middle eastern dude). We went to see Persepolis (cool movie) and had dinner afterwards. He met me at the movie theater, I was late of course! The movie was cool then afterwards he tried to take me to a new restaurant nearby but the wait was like an hour - so I hustled him up the hill further where there’s a nice Peruvian joint I’ve been wanting to try. He was great about dinner. We decided on the trio of cerviche - I got the paella and he got the duck. He ordered the same blue corn sweet drink that I did which was also very cute. He was not cheap with the food, although he had me wondering at the movie theater because he didn’t offer anything to eat or drink when I got there. Dinner was cool - he can be funny. I gleaned a little more from him. He’s Palestinian, his mother died 5 years ago from cancer - his father lives part time in Jordan. He visits his father in Jordan every year. He was married before to a Palestinian woman - he was really quick to change the subject on this one. He likes children and wouldn’t mind having one of his own. He didn’t get my whole concept of adopting a child and thought three kids was a ‘big big family’. He’s a nice enough guy but he doesn’t ask many questions about me. His teeth are in horrible shape. All crooked and discolored. While he was smiling, I realized that he looks like a mocha colored version of the Count from Sesame Street! He’s got incisors that could cut a cow in half. Yep, he even sounds a little like him too. Once that thought crossed my mind, it was all downhill. I began subconsciously wondering if he would start counting the shrimp in my paella. Then I thought about how I would yell out numbers after each stroke while sweating (preferably on my knees so I wouldn’t see those teeth) in front of his gas ignited fireplace, ‘ONE! hahahahahahha TWO! hahahahhahhahhahaha…’ Yeah, it went downhill from there. During dessert I wondered about the size of his package. Eeeeek. Did I tell you he looks at my chest quite a bit - so I guess I’m not the only one entertaining this insane thought. I could be grossed out or pissed off - but I’m not.

Shit, I’m in heat.

The sad part about it is that I’m entertaining the thought of sleeping with Mr. Eeek (aka ME). What’s worse is that yesterday while in the elevator at the hospital, some of the cleaning guys were on their way up and I looked at one particularly tall and nicely built one like a piece of steak. Big hands, big sneakers…. hmmmmmm….

I need to find some meaningless SAFE sex with someone I find attractive physically….

Ok, better get to an episode of Dexter - the story line is alright - that Michael Hall has a nice body.