Twas the month after New Year's, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
Chris - wowza! You're a doll - and brainz, too? What a combo.
Hey Gigglez, I read thru it, too. Good idea adding one light meal a day until you get the hang of it and then adding another. Moderation works for some people. I, however, want it ALL NOW!
I see that RD offers an online diet plan with it, too - with a free week. That'll get you as far as adding breakfast to your day. Then you gotta cough up the bux to get lunch. There's no such thing as a FREE LUNCH.
I think I need to turn on my HTML Codes
Rusty, that poem is awesome and so right on track. It's almost like it got into my head and read all the evil things I did in the name of celebrating Christmas. 
It's actually not so bad. I think she will be the easiest.
