Julia
I have a 'friend' who supported me through my career change some four or five years ago. She only ever visited the town I was living in as part of her job and my training, but I frequently contacted her for advice etc. When I left WA and came here, my new job came with other people in the same room that I could ask for advice so my calls to her were less frequent, but I still called her reguarly from a friendship point of view.
A call would start with her saying something like "You must have ESP...I was just going to call you." And end with, "I'll call you in a few weeks."
A few weeks would come and go, so I'd call her again. And she'd answer with "Wow! I was just thinking about you!" And end with, "My turn to call next time!"
And again that call never came. And the routine continued to repeat in that manner.
The last time I called her I was having issues at work and wanted to vent. It was early December. She answered my call with "Have you got ESP??", it was then I thought, oh yeah, you've used that on me before. Anyway, I held back on my feelings, suddenly I didn't vent to her with my work issues, I actually wondered if maybe she was getting sick of me and that is why she hasn't ever called me. So I waffled on, untruthfully, about how great things are here, and enquired about her Christmas plans etc. The call ended with her saying, "I'll call you a few days before Christmas to see how you are doing." (She knew I was spending Christmas alone). Anyway, that call never came...still hasn't.
But, it is me who is feeling guilty! I am assuming she doesn't want to know me. But, how do I know something hasn't happened to her? I want to call her to know she is alright, but I don't want to be that annoying person who keeps calling her.
Julia, I can understand what you are feeling, but just be careful that there isn't something deeper going on in your friends life that she might struggling with and is probably thinking she doesn't want to burden you with. If you are there for her, maybe you need to confront her, face to face, with a "What's really going on?" talk. But you'll need to be brave and strong to do that, and be able to support and help her if there is something going on. Or, if there is nothing she wants to talk to you about, you might just have to accept that too.
I hope it works out for you mate.
And I know I will eventually call my friend to put my mind a rest if nothing more. But at the moment, I am clinging to the hope that she is ok, but just too busy to call me.
Cute kitty Vonni! And, where is Ani??? And everyone else for that matter?
I have had a really crappy couple of weeks and I am going to climb back into bed and try to get a few more ZZZzzzzz's.
