I'm here, just lurking at the moment. I've got so much happening over the next couple of weeks that I've decided to take a break from thinking about food and exercise and I'm going to enjoy my time spent with family and friends.

Will be back on board in the new year though!

I hope that everyone has a lovely Christmas

I agree with both of you about it being hard at Christmas time, and that's why I am not going to put too much pressure on myself either. I just want to try and start having better eating habits now - then after Christmas I will get stuck into it more.

Yesterday I ate fairly well: cereal, prunes, strawberries, grapes and HiLo milk for breakfast.
A banana for morning tea.
An avocado, chicken, baby spinach and cheese sandwich on Soy & Linseed bread for lunch.
Oven baked fish, spinach, tomato, beetroot, corn, avocado for dinner.
And two chocolate biscuits while I was playing Wii Sport

All up it was just over 1700 calories. And I drank more than 2 litres of water.

Today will be fairly similar except I plan to have vegetables for dinner instead of salad.

I'm busy over Christmas but don't really have a lot of food related functions to go to, so really I have no excuse not to be able to keep eating good foods. I will be giving myself fee reign for christmas lunch though, not that we're eating anything overly bad, just too much of the good stuff!!

I'm in for the new year. I'm so sick of myself.

YAY Barb! We can do this if we work together - I know it.

I have three days off now and don't have too many plans. I am really looking forward to being able to relax for a couple of days after a hectic Christmas week in retail. It never ceases to amaze me how much money people spend at Christmas - it's quite frightening really.

I'm going to potter in the garden and clean the house today. I plan to eat well, relax, and maybe even sit down and read for a while.

At some point I will need to buy some food, but the thought of going out and joining the frantic last-minute shopping frenzy gives me the horrors.

Merry Christmas to all my fellow Aussie Chicks!

Hope it's a happy and safe one for you all

I just wrote a really long detailed post and the computer ate it. BUGGA!

Well it sort of went like this.....

Very emotional christmas, but a good day was had by all. Way too much food but nothing nasty.

My sis is over from Melbourne so going to spend some time with her before she heads back home. Always great to see her but hard to say good bye. Also met her girlfriend for the first time, she's lovely, just what Vanessa needs.

Got a couple of days before going back to work so I'm planning on catching up a bit around the house and just chilling! Working for a living is sooo exhausting!!

Ok, I'm off. See you all soon.

Barb

XXX

Barb I'm glad Christmas had its good parts for you - I was thinking of you. All those first 'milestones' without a parent are really challenging to get through, and it's good that you could spend nurturing time with the rest of your family.

In a way my Christmas was sad - not for me personally, but my best mate from work invited me to her family Christmas dinner. Two days before that her twin sister had been given really bad news - that her cancer was back. So while there was an atmosphere of almost forced joviality, there was a dark cloud hanging over the dinner. Really sad.

Work is tough at the moment. Not just because it's busy, but the weather is making things worse. There's no way that air-conditioning works well in a place as big as Bunnings - and the last week or so the temperatures at work have been in the mid-30's. Tomorrow it's 40ºC and I am NOT looking forward to that. You can just about wring my clothes out when I finish work now - let alone when it's going to be so disgusting.

But I have managed to eat well (mostly) and stay reasonably on track. It's weigh-in day tomorrow and I hope that, if I haven't lost anything over Christmas, I at least haven't gained.

Hope you all stay safe and well over the silly season.

I vowed that from 2pm Thursday I would start eating 'good' again...

...I sucked Thursday afternoon and gorged myself on bacon and eggs because the engineering department at work had bacon and eggs for breakfast and stunk the whole corridor out with wonderful odours! I craved bacon and eggs all day after smelling it!!

...I sucked on Friday because it was Christmas day and I was feeling pretty blue so took comfort in stuffing my face!

...Saturday was way better and I ate only at designated meal times and ate only what I allowed myself. I also walked for an hour delivering junkmail and I mowed my whole yard! I also drank well over two litres of fluid!

...Today was similar but without the exercise.

At this point, my meals are probably not the wisest of healthy options, but at the moment I just want to concentrate on avoiding the need to binge!

I did discover over the last two days that what I think has contributed to my gorging in the evening is the fact that I have not had time for afternoon tea!

Ok, let me clarify that. Before moving here a year ago, I used to knock off work at 3pm, by 3.10pm I was at home enjoying a coffee and a snack size chocolate. Here, I knock off at 3pm and have to drive half an hour to get home. Two days a week (Tues and Wed) I get home, get changed and immediately go deliver junkmail. Monday and Friday I get home and get stuck into the tedious chore of preparing the junkmail for delivery before allowing myself the rest of those evenings off. One or two days a week (Thurs and/or Fri) I have to do stuff (shopping, appointments etc) that can delay my arrival home for anything up to an hour or more. Basically what I am saying is, I don't have the time for that little snack and sugar fix that probably used to get me through the evenings.

These last two days I have made myself have that coffee and small sweet snack and in doing so, I have not found myself having to stuff my face in the evening once I have had my meal.


I will also weigh in tomorrow. I am not expecting anything terrific - if anything at all - given I have only really had two days where I haven't been a total pig with my food intake!


Barb, I am pleased that you were able to enjoy your Christmas

I hope Gen managed to enjoy hers a little too?

Ani, I hope you survive your 40C days. I don't miss them at all! Our 32/33C days are lovely, but I'd give anything for a little less humidity!!!

It's a start...I am down 0.4kg! And given that I only had two good days in that week, I think that is a pretty good result. (Anybody mentions water loss and I will shoot them!! )

And 400g is enough to motivate me to see what I am capable of producing if I am good for a whole week!!

hey guys.... im skulking back in... just got fed up of trying and getting no where .. and not being true to myself.. so took some time out.. to reflect on what i want... atm i want a break... .. So that really is what i have done for the last few weeks.. on the weightloss front.. anyway.. .. My plan is to start again.. in 2010... and i will, have a new start weight ect... yes i have lost weight no im not satisfied.. so why does my mind keep telling me.. you have lost x already ... so why not have xyz.... lol...

so no more for me its a new start in the new year and a new beginning with the goal to lose 10 kilos.. before 2011.. ... i will come back in 2010 and start over again.. with you guys..

hello ladies. no weight loss for me in fact have gained and feel pretty crap about it but que sera sera.

got bought a bike for xmas and its one that has an angle bar across so i dont crutch myself. setting it up tomorrow and taking the kiddies around the block. baby steps.

ate pretty well over the xmas period only 1 piece of caramel pie for dessert no pav or trifle. and had a baked ham dinner. we did our celebrations on xmas eve as i had to work xmas day and boxing day. a good time had by all. my dad came to stay for a week so that was pretty awesome too.'

sad note - a lady i was in the p & c with passed away at 48yrs old, 15yr old and an 11yr old and a hubby. she was lovely. 4 years ago she had a breast melanoma and was cut out and treated all clear, but august this year she thought she needed new glasses as she was getting headacdhes and blurry vision. got tests and the melanoma had metastisised. riddled with cancer. she came into hospital for the first time on my shift xmas evening and passed away sunday morning. so sad. and my friends best friend is 37 and been given days to live. life really sucks and makes our problems seem so trivial.

Barb glad to hear you coped over xmas. the first is always the hardest. Gen sry to hear about yr mum not doing to well. glad you got xmas at home with her.

ok. i have cut down my coffee and my snacking but still not getting anywhere so hopefully this bike ride will do me good. going back for more iron studies to see if they have boosted but i doubt it, still feel like s h i t. so walk in morning and bike in arvo every 2nd day unless to hot. the weather seems to have settled a little though.

gotta run, have headache but thought i have neglected 3fc far to long.

night my lovelies xox

I didn't really cope that well over christmas. Well christmas day was difficult but manageable. It was sunday after that was terrible. We all went to dad's for dinner, my brother and sister, my mums foster sister and her husband. Had a couple of drinks and got really emotional. By the time we got home I was a blubbering mess. I wanted to talk to my husband about how I was feeling and why, but he wouldn't talk to me. Told me to sleep it off and we'll talk in the morning. Well, that was it. I wanted him to feel the pain that I was feeling so I tried to cut my wrist. I got really pissed because the knife was blunt. I remember lying in bed seething because I didn't hurt myself enough, trying to think what else I had that was sharper.

I think I finally realised that I've been hiding my emotions from everyone and making sure they're all fine, but not taking care of myself. I'm still angry at mum for leaving us, but up until sunday night I thought I was doing really well. I've been trying all day to call my doctor to see him. I need some help and I'm not sure where to go to get it. I've been on anti depressants for way to long and I want to come off of them so I can feel something without needing to drink. One big vicious cirlce I'm travelling in at the moment. Bury myself in work and taking care of everyone, then drink so I don't feel numb. Drink way too much and can't control how I feel. Not good at all.

I'm so grateful for having the husband that I have. A lot of men, or woman for that fact, would have given up and left by now, but he's in it for the long haul. I'm so glad I have him to take care of me. I really needed this to happen for me to see what's wrong and to admit that I need help.

Sorry to dump all of this here, but I needed to get it out.

XX
Barb

Barb that is one gutsy post, and I am so sorry you are feeling all that pain. There is no drink, no magic pill that will take that pain away - but the thing that is going to help you is to find someone who can talk to you. Or more importantly to listen to you.

Can you afford counselling? Or are you able to access some kind of grief counselling/support group? There should be some kind of Lifeline/Crisis Care type of telephone service that you can access - and they will be able to put you in contact with the right people.

Drinking isn't really going to numb the pain - it's going to distort what's real for you, and make it more difficult to heal.

Losing your mother is terrible. It's a terrible physical shock to your body, and emotional shock to your mind - and it isn't something you will ever get over. But if you're patient and nurturing with yourself, and gather all the support you can, you will find a way to live with it. And you will come to accept it one day.

What you're feeling is absolutely normal. I want to give you a big hug, and to tell you that I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore. Of course you're angry with your mum - and that's going to be with you for a while yet. It will get easier, but there will be days when that anger comes back with a vengeance.

Maybe it would be worth writing her a letter and telling her everything you feel. You never have to show it to anyone - but it's important to get it out of yourself so that you stop burying all those painful, confusing feelings.

I have known you, through our forum here, for a few years now and I KNOW you to be a kind, generous person who would do anything for her family. I admire you a great deal, and I really value you as a person. You would NEVER tolerate anyone treating your children the way you are treating yourself now - and maybe you need to find the way to nurture yourself, protect yourself and look after yourself as if you were one of your own children.

I am here for you, and if you need someone to talk to you can PM me.

I don't know what else to say. But please know you have my 100% support

Right! I know I sound like a complete stereotype, but tomorrow I am definitely starting my new year with a determination to lose this 10kg. Been a little bit slack over the last couple of days, and I am going to eat whatever I feel like today - then get right into it tomorrow.

It has been a very strange year, and I am hoping that next year will be better. When I was home for holidays it became obvious to me that my mum is showing signs of the onset of dementia, and I have been feeling very sad ever since I came back to Perth. There's every chance that she won't even know who I am next time I see her - and that's just heartbreaking.

My friend at work is sad - tests on her twin sister suggest that her liver is enlarged, and they are investigating the spots in her lung. She had breast cancer two years ago… nobody is expecting the news to be good.

Things like this make me appreciate that I have my health, a stable job, and a decent roof over my head. I'm thankful for those things, and I want to make sure I improve them by getting this 10kg off me and giving myself the chance to be even more healthy.

I want to say happy new year to all of you, but it sounds almost glib. I know so many of you are struggling with sadness, and have really difficult things happening in your lives. But I wish you a new year where you can find love and support, strength and courage, and where you can make time to nurture yourselves as well.

new year resolution --- that we all end up breaking lol. drink more water, and wait after brekky before having a smoke,.