Lindor, thats sounds terrible. I hate being so sick. Hope you're feeling better soon.

I haven't been in here for quite a while now. Don't know whats going on with everyone, but I hope all are doing well. Me, well I'm still fat!!!! I just don't have what it takes at the moment. Way too much going on in my head to focus on weight loss.

Lindor i hope yr on the mend. big hugs from us in Vonni house Hi Babr, I dont come in much anymore either but i do sneak peak and say hi occassionally.

Well I've just come back from a lovely weekend away with no children. was bliss in a little hinterland town called Montville. Rained the whole weekend but i didnt care. we had a spa in our mountain cottage and a fireplace. such relaxing bliss. And went for an awesome rainforest walk IN the pouring rain haha.

No weight loss for me, even though while away i only ate my 3 meals a day grrr and the walk and 4 hours walking around Eumundi markets. (sigh) one of these days my body will decide its been fat long enough and shed a tear wich will melt it all away.

Three days ago I looked in the mirror and went *urgh!*. So I stepped on the scales - leapt off them in fright, then changed the batteries, moved them to every second tile in the bathroom to see if they might be a bit more kind… then admitted to myself what my clothes and my mirror have been telling me for months. I HAVE STUFFED UP BIG TIME!

I then gave myself the choice: go out and buy some crap food and bury my feelings in more rubbish, and more fat - or stop this now. My choice!

Why have I undone all this good work? Why have I become a "typical" statistic? I'm not sure yet, but obviously I haven't learned enough about my relationship with food. Haven't found the coping skills necessary to work through tough stuff without turning to food to numb, bury, distract, deny…

At the moment I am physically inactive, and that is frustrating. This is my fourth week of recovering from my achilles tear, and progress is slow. I am only working four hours/day - sitting in the office at work answering phones.

But I have made my choice. I CHOOSE to lose the weight I have gained, and choose to get back to a more healthy way of life. It isn't going to be easy - I know that. But I will not undo all the good work I have done. I just won't.

For the last two days I have eaten really well, averaging around 1600 calories - and it's a start. I have set myself some goals, with rewards thrown in, and I feel really determined to get there.

Lindor I'm really sorry you have been sick. Are you feeling any better? Anything I can do?

Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hi - and to let you know that I am struggling, but feeling determined to try and turn this around.

Ani, Barb, Vonni!!! Good to see you back here!!

Ani, it's not easy and much less fun to be in the headspace you've been in - knowing it's all coming undone but feeling totally unable, physically and mentally, to stop it. I wonder why we allow ourselves to do that? I know I am feeling the same about my weight loss (I've just had to buy size 20 work pants again!) and I get the feeling we are not alone either

I am feeling better, not perfect yet, but definately better than I have done in the last month. I am still on antibiotics, and still waiting on results. I have an appointment with the consultant on the 25th of March.

I am back to work tomorrow. When the CT showed a possible brain malformation and clot I was strongly advised to call my mother, so needless to say, she is here at the moment...and driving me crazy! So I am looking forward to going back to work! Although, the last day I was there I had a massive dummy spit and walked out of the office for about an hour, so God only knows what my reception will be like there.

Anyway, must move. Good to see some more posts happening

Quiet again

I jumped on the scales again this morning only because I put on a pair of shorts that used to feel quite snug on me but this morning they felt almost loose.

I weighed in at 91.1kg...that is now 6.9kg since the end of January. I have not been trying hard with any weight-loss effort, although granted, since my admission to hospital my appetite has decreased. I put that down to the antibiotics I have been on (side effects include 'altered sense of taste, nausea, loss of appetite'). I finished my course of antibiotics yesterday.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be losing weight again, but is this normal?? I know I have been sick for a while but, I don't know, it just seems like a cheats way to lose weight!

I see the consultant again on the 25th, I will definately be mentioning the weight-loss to him. The fact that they haven't found a cause for my chest infection is worrying me. Melioidosis is rampant up here and I have spoken to a few nursing friends and they are all putting their money on my chest infection being caused by that! So am I, kinda. Meliodosis is a killer and is difficult to treat, and despite finishing my antibiotics yesterday, I still have a cough that at times can sound quite chesty. I have had intermittent headaches since my admission (none anywhere as bad as that one) which is not normal for me either.

I feel ok, but I don't feel ok, and this weight-loss has unnerved me a little. I don't want to act on anything just yet as Mum is still here and I know if I do she'll extend her stay...I don't want her doing that. I plan to take it one day at a time until my appointment unless something goes really bad.

Anyway, I didn't want to come here and blurt out my woes and worries...I wanted to be happy about my weight loss!

I hope everyone else is hanging in there. I know most of us are struggling with one thing or another at the moment...I am thinking of you all

Lindor I hope all goes well at yr next appointment. and well done on the weight loss even if it IS due to being sick. xox

bought myself wii fit plus today. going to start with gentle yoga

We need a Wii Fit (+/- Plus) challenge...any suggestions??

im skulking in again... lol wieght has gone up agasin.. 102.2 now.. stupid aztec men that invented chocolate.. grumble grrrr sniff... lol

nah i put it down to low mood and pms.. sp dust off feel good today for the first time in weeks .. probably becuase its the first day in weeks i havent eaten choccy lol ..

anyway i finally feel like im getting back on track.. am planning on finally going to the gym tommorrow.. for a class.. all i have done in a fortnight was one half assed swim where i didn t actually put much effort in.. lol..

anyway..

day 1 for me is going well .. so far need to drink more water though.. leah started ballet so gotta take her to that soon.. she is so cute doing it just thought id quickly pop in and let you kow im still here..

my abs are very sore from my first wii fit plus work out last night. haha used muscles i didnt know i had. felt awesome though. and i had a kilo difference in my weight from last night to this morning so going to make sure i am at least weighed at same time every day. workouts will be staggered though. I am off now to do it again. my goal to do it at least every 2 days

Hi ladies! Just got on my computer and saw my link to here and thought "crap!" haven't been here for ages.. long story.

Went home for Xmas and had an appointment at oncologist with mum on xmas eve.. she was just terrible when I got home. He told her at that appointment scan was much much worse since stopping chemo in October, and that she had 6-12 weeks to live... with 12 being VERY optimistic. So I told work I was staying, and have been in melbourne since Dec 19. Work has been SO GOOD with giving me family medical leave, now personal leave to extend. I actually came back to the states last week for a few weeks - have to take an exam I missed when I went home last year when mum was diagnosed, get driver license renewed, car inspected, make sure house is still standing etc.

As it turned out, they started chemo again early Jan, and mum got a lot better fast. She is now on home oxygen at times, but nothing like she was in Dec/Jan. She has a fair bit of pain but has the good drugs and we manage, although it's scary when the spasms hit her.

I am mega fat and still mega depressed, as you'd imagine. I just went to the docs for my annual physical.. 263 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Never been so enormous in my life, just feel HORRENDO! Doc agreed now wasn't the time to worry about it though she said exercise might help me feel better. She upped my antidepressants and told me to go to a counselor when I get home again. Also ambushed me and made me have a pap smear.. ugh.

It's been lovely to get back to work for a couple of weeks.. my work family is just fantastic over here, I missed them. Roommate just told me she's moving out in May, so will have to work out if I keep the place here and just pay it myself, considering I'll be at home for ???? months. Can't put a timeline on it, which is awkward, but at the end of the day, it's still just a job and I need to be with my family now. At least a friend offered to put my car in her garage when I go home again, so that's one thing solved.

Ani, sorry you did your achilles too.. mine is still fkucked and still can't do really anything without it killing me. Might go ahead and get the surgery done when I am home since I'll be off work for a few months anyhow. It's really a beyotch of an injury, but my brother tore his in half last year and had it repaired and he's back running now (freak).

Lindor, sorry to hear you've been ill.. take care of yourself. Maybe I need to get sick and lose weight!? Only kidding. I am grateful that I am so healthy really.

My best high school friend had a baby last week.. I was at the birth and it was amazing, she's the most gorgeous little thing.

hi
turns out the reason i kept putting on weight even though i had the right mindframe and was doing exercise was because I had cushings disease.
Cushings disease is diagnosed in 10 in 1 million people worldwide (2 in a million in USA) (so the other 8 around the rest of the world) each year.
it is a very interesting and frustrating disease especially when my TWO goals were to lose weight and get pregnant.
Cushings stops your body ovulating, it makes your body stop metabolising fat properly, it puts your fat on your belly and on your face.
it makes you have high blood pressure, muscle wasting, exhaustion and anxiety and depression.
I moved to Laidley about 1 hour 30 out of brisbane and went to a new doctor who did some tests and referred me to a specialist to confirm who then asked his colleagues at the hospital etc.
and yes i had cushings.
cushings can be caused by a couple of things mainly it is a tumor secreting ACTH which tells your adrenal glands to make too much cortisol.
My tumor was in my head on my pituitary gland.
so in january they took it out AND my pituitary gland too, which is really rare and has left me with a couple of new conditions like Diabetes Insepidus which is really not fun and if i dont have my cortisol i will die.
i have to have estrogen and tyhroid meds and anxiety meds FOREVER. and if i want to have a baby it will involve a lot of fertility treatment and injections to make my body ovulate.

i have lost 9kg since my operation mid january, pity i put a bit on when i stopped exercising because i was just too tired. the withdrawels from excess cortisol are painful and varied but means my body can now process fat so i have hope now.

lindor - i hope all your results come back as nice as possible.
gen - make the most of the time with your mother.
ani - input must be less than output, if you can do much output you will have to do less input.
vonni - when i come over to your place we must play wii fit, is it the old one or the new one?
amy - you are looking so so so awesome!

Wow Kel - sounds scary! Glad that you're doing okay now. None of us are trotting too well!

i figure i have two choices i can work with it or work against it
and since i am only 28 i figure i should work with not having a pituitary gland and all the fun that comes with that or i will waste half my life dwelling on what could be.

OMG Kel welcome here lol. havent heard from u on forever (hhaaahahaha). Gen big hugs to you and agree with Kel. Make the most of the time you have with yr Mum. Work will always be there (or somewhere) And while you are under so much stress yr body will work against you with yr weight (as u know, being a nurse and all) so focus on yr mum and yr own health instead of weight loss.