Genell, you look gorgeous! I agree, you do NOT look 3 months pregnant. Be very proud of yourself. So glad to hear you had a great time with your friends.
Karen, noahsmama, and everyone else who had such deep and heart string pulling conversations over the weekend, thanks for sharing. I can see myself in almost any of these posts. It is so great to see that we can be so open and see how much we share with each other, and the outpouring from others offering support can't be beat. It shouldn't matter what number we have reached. It isn't an easy journey, but we are taking it.
The classes at my center were actually done by a licensed counselor who did the program several years ago and has kept the weight off. We were fortunate to have a great group that stayed the same pretty much the whole way through both Phase I and Phase II. We didn't always get through the material because we all talked, but it was on personal levels related to the topic.
Thanks to everyone for letting me be part of this online family.
Thank you for all the compliments, you are all so encouraging and wonderful, and I truly feel blessed to share this journey with each and everyone of you! I stepped on the scale this morning and was up 2.5 pounds...yeah, I was fearful of the big 5 to 7 pounds. So on Meta-Quick today and hope to get this off in a couple of days...mainly water weight from the alcohol and salt...just dropped kids off at school and will lounge around all day, no running, just to recover from Vegas
GWE...you are gorgious in your LBD. You should be very proud of yourself...and your tummy is barely out there...thank you for sharing your pic. I bet you had a great time with your friends....that made it all worth it.
I am back from being MIA. I was having a difficult time and busy as well. Signed up for extra shifts and had to bring my middle son to court. He was acting up at school a couple months ago and the school brought him up on charges. He is a special ed student and tends to be impulsive, so he said some inappropriate things and it ended up being a legal battle. At the same time, my guy friend and I are on the outs. We had a great time in Omaha but I failed to mention one really bad night. We were at the hotel bar and he started talking to this girl who came and sat down next to him. I call her the empty headed drunken slut (EHDS). He kinda turned away from me to talk to her and she did the same to the guy who was next to her. We were both totally cut off from the conversation. He actually invited them back to our room after the bar closed to have a smoke. Since neither the guy or I smoke, he left me in the hotel room, alone with a strange guy I had maybe said 2 words to while he went out the sliding door to smoke with EHDS. I was so uncomfortable. I had never been in this position before in my life. I was scared. I kept waiting for it to get better, surely my friend would not do this. Turns out the guy is her boyfriend of 8 weeks according to him. He asked me if I was ok with all this, I said no, and I was not sure exactly what was going on but I did not like it. I would have left the room but it was a combination of shock and the fact that all my belongings were there. When the other two came back in the room, they were laughing and giggling all over each other. I was horrified. I didn't know if they were going to start making out or what. She was so drunk she couldn't walk. I just had to get out. I grabbed my room key and left. I took a walk around the hotel to calm down. I went back to the room to kick them out but they were leaving. We had a huge fight that night. He said he didn't touch her and I was overeacting. I felt betrayed by my friend and the man I care about. Even if he does not think of us as more then friends, he knows how I feel and since he is on a vacation that I paid for, he should have respected that. He told me it was nothing and I was never in any danger. He said he was watching the whole time. I doubt it. He feels he did nothing wrong. I tried to talk to him but he has made himself unavailable. He knows I am upset but said he never made promises to me. He said he does not think of us as more then friends.
I disagree, physical intimacy aside, we hold each other through the night, he refers to the side of the bed I sleep on as my side and that is where "my tshirt" is folded, waiting for me. We kiss to show affection, to say hi and bye. He has called me in the middle of the night when he was going through a rough time, knowing I would come over. He changes the oil in my car and checks the weather every time I head to denver for work. When I was out of work this summer, my electricity was off for a few days. The boys were already staying with friends. He insisted I stay with him and he took care of me. These are not the actions of simple friendship. This a couple working together to support and care for each other. But he does not see it.
I am in a no win situation. If I continue this relationship on his terms, with my feelings involved, I will be hurt. If I end this relationship, I lose a friend that has supported me in many ways when others have not. This has effected me at work and with my sleep. One of the nurses I work with dragged me out to a bar Sunday night to have a drink and talk. She was great. And I got hit on by a 28 year old. I am almost 40! So my self esteem got a huge lift. I am still not sure what to do about Guy friend but I can't change him. I will just have to figure out what is best for me.
Sorry for rambling but needed to off load.
With all I said, I have more! I have not eaten off plan so much as drank off plan. I have mixed grape vodka with diet 7-up to dull the pain at home. I know, not healthy. And had diet coke and vanilla vodka Sunday night when I went out with my nurse friend. I did go out to dinner at Carabba's and had the Pollo Rosa Maria. My Fave, and ate the bread with olive oil. But found I filled up on the salad and broccoli (asked for veggies instead of pasta) and did not get halfway through dinner. So the bread and the sauce, as well as a glass of red wine, were off plan. I took a fat and carb blocker to minimize damage but did not really care. It was more about keeping busy and making plans so I wouldn't sit at home. WI is tomorrow so I will see what damage was done!
Oh Lori, I have been so worried about you...I guess my gut feeling was right. First, I am so sorry for what you have been going through. I know your "guy" is a friend, but Lori, with friends like that, who needs enemies. I truly think he may be take an advantage of you, and maybe you him in away. Right now your self esteem is low for what he pulled on you in Omaha. No friend would have done that to you. That was rude and very immature of him. I think you need to move on and find someone who will appreciate who you are. You are starting a whole new way of life now with your great weight loss, and you are now finding yourself. So be true to yourself and don't let this "guy friend" take an advantage of you anymore. I said once ago, if he doesn't know what a great thing he has with you, then it is his loss! Let him be the loser in all this and pick yourself up and walk away. I know, easier said then done, but you really have to think, if he treats you this way now, it will get worse once you get seriously involved. He doesn't deserve you, so hold your head high and walk away....you will be doing your own self a big favor. This is not a healthy relationship and look what it has done to you now. Be strong Lori....you have survived your huge success in your weight, and now you will survive through this relationship. There is someone out there that will see the real you and will truly treat you with respect and love. Just get yourself back together and move on. You are young and have so much of life ahead of you....so enjoy the **** out of it.
On another note, so sorry with what you are going through with your son. You really are being tested my friend. You have us all here for support, so vent, yell, cry and do what you must, but please do it with a glass of water or HNS. We all know alcohol will not solve anything and this is not a time to be using it to get you through this rough time.
Stay strong Lori. My heart and prayers go out to you. I missed you.
Lori, I am so sorry for what you're going through. I was in a similar situation years ago and only you know inside what you truly want/need to do. I agree with FL, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, but it's easier said that done to just walk away from someone that's been a mainstay for you through this journey you're taking. I'm proud of you that you didn't turn to food, as I did. That's great! I hope things start looking up for you and just know that we're here for you if you need to vent, cry, laugh, or all 3! I was glad that I posted my feelings/thoughts on here and all the therapists on here helped me talk through what I was feeling. Know that you were missed and we're all here for you!!
I've been away a while, so I'm trying to get caught up!
Lori - So sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm proud of you for not turning to food and staying OP. Keep your chin up girl, you are a fabulous woman and you deserve only the best. Lean on your support group at work too, they tend to be a 2nd family since we sometimes spend more time with them than we do our own families. Know that you can always lean on us to help you through your tough times!
GWE - You look AMAZING in your LBD!
Noahsmama - I'm sending OP will power dust to you. You made it through the mental block and reached out for help, you will make it to your goal weight! I know you can do it! You have come so far. Is there a favorite outfit you have out there now that you're a shopping addict? : ) Pick a new fall/winter outfit and treat yourself for getting back OP.
Update on me, I've been struggling to exercise and have really just been wanting to be done with program. I did complete a 5k on Sunday. While I didn't train as much as I needed, I survived it! I'm headed to Vegas in a couple of weeks and know I will be totally off program. I'm a little scared that when I return, I won't want to go back on program.
Lori, I just wanted to say how much I am hoping you will pull away from the relationship to view it from a different perspective...I do agree with Noahsmama and Fifties Lady - not a positive relationship that is healthy, seems codependent and his actions and behavior in Omaha was disgusting! Please stay connected to YOUR goals of weight loss and do this for YOU! I know how crazy life can be and how everyone or everything seems to pull us in directions not healthy for us, please stay focused I am cheering for you.
Thank you all for being there for me. I have talked with people at work. Male, female, single and married. They all told me the same thing, this is a couple relationship, not just friends. If he can't see that his actions don't agree with his words then he is the one with the problem. My friend Scott was there the night I met my guy friend and over the dinner at Carrabas Scott told me he did not think he was capable of embracing the feelings he has. And why should he? It is working for him! Just not for me. And they all agree with you, I need to pull back and let him be. Heading out to breakfast with my Scott. He has rearranged his schedule to spend more time with me over this. Since my friend Bridget has moved, Guy friend is not working out, I am so glad he is there for me. I am a lucky person to be blessed with everyone here on the site, my good friends and my boys.
Just remembered something I heard a wise man say. "A healthy person and a sick person can't sleep together long. Either the sick person becomes healthy or the healthy person becomes sick." Wow, I heard that almost 15 years ago and it is no more truer then then what I am dealing with today.
Thank you all for being there for me. I have talked with people at work. Male, female, single and married. They all told me the same thing, this is a couple relationship, not just friends. If he can't see that his actions don't agree with his words then he is the one with the problem. My friend Scott was there the night I met my guy friend and over the dinner at Carrabas Scott told me he did not think he was capable of embracing the feelings he has. And why should he? It is working for him! Just not for me. And they all agree with you, I need to pull back and let him be. Heading out to breakfast with my Scott. He has rearranged his schedule to spend more time with me over this. Since my friend Bridget has moved, Guy friend is not working out, I am so glad he is there for me. I am a lucky person to be blessed with everyone here on the site, my good friends and my boys.
Just remembered something I heard a wise man say. "A healthy person and a sick person can't sleep together long. Either the sick person becomes healthy or the healthy person becomes sick." Wow, I heard that almost 15 years ago and it is no more truer then then what I am dealing with today.
Lori, reaching out is a big step, and you have made that first step to guide you in the right direction. Scott sounds like a great friend, and he knows "guy friend" quite well...listen to what he says...he sees it as what it is.
I know it's easy for us to sit and judge your "guy friend" and advise you in what to do since we are not dealing with this in our personal lives and probably many of us have stable relationships and are quite happy....it's very hard being "alone" and sometimes we feel any kind of relationship is better than none at all....but that's where your self esteem needs to kick in and tell yourself you are better than that and you don't need to just "settle" for what you have now.
Guys like this are a dime a dozen, and they know when they have the upper hand and take advantage of the situation. He truly scares the **** out of me Lori! Don't be manipulated by him any longer. Listen to Scott, I think he will be honest with you and can see the relationship from the inside, where we are all just looking in from the outside with advice.
Lori, one more thing....your picture is beautiful. You are a knock out and guys will be busting your door down!!! So hang in there...you will see, things will work out and you will be a much stronger and wiser woman because of it. You have a good day now.
I've been away a while, so I'm trying to get caught up!
Lori - So sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm proud of you for not turning to food and staying OP. Keep your chin up girl, you are a fabulous woman and you deserve only the best. Lean on your support group at work too, they tend to be a 2nd family since we sometimes spend more time with them than we do our own families. Know that you can always lean on us to help you through your tough times!
GWE - You look AMAZING in your LBD!
Noahsmama - I'm sending OP will power dust to you. You made it through the mental block and reached out for help, you will make it to your goal weight! I know you can do it! You have come so far. Is there a favorite outfit you have out there now that you're a shopping addict? : ) Pick a new fall/winter outfit and treat yourself for getting back OP.
Update on me, I've been struggling to exercise and have really just been wanting to be done with program. I did complete a 5k on Sunday. While I didn't train as much as I needed, I survived it! I'm headed to Vegas in a couple of weeks and know I will be totally off program. I'm a little scared that when I return, I won't want to go back on program.
I totally can relate to you feeling or apprehension of once you go off program and not wanting to get back on. The food just tastes so darn good but I have to remember how I felt (like crap from eating crap) and that the new clothes I just bought were feeling snug and uncomfortable and I didn't like that feeling yesterday! So I'm on day 2 of Medi-quick (lost 2.5 lbs of the 8 I gained) and am hoping to get the rest of this off too!
My employer is rolling out a new EAP program and wellness program as part of our benefits package effective 1/1 and I'm hoping to be able to utilize that to get my head screwed on straight. Of course I WILL have this weight gone by then and will hopefully be nearly completing stabilization by then or possibly on maintenance (yea right) but I want to see what those new benefits might offer. I've heard that I could have a personal coach that I could call for support that could help me lose weight (which I hopefully won't need by then) but am hopeful that that might be an avenue for me to deal with my emotioanl connection with food.
Lori, so sorry to hear of your troubles. You are a great mom and I hope all went well for you and your son. I agree with you that your friend was definitely in the wrong for doing what he did in Omaha. It is a very tough situation. I'm glad to see that you have others to help you get through this as well as everyone here. You have proven to all of us here how strong you are and that same strength will get you through what ever life throws at you. I have a poem framed on my wall part of which says, some people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. We never really know what the future holds for us, but if we can take something good from every relationship we have when we move on, it makes us a better individual in some way. Hang in there and please let us know what we can do to help you. You were missed by many!
Thank you all for being there for me. I have talked with people at work. Male, female, single and married. They all told me the same thing, this is a couple relationship, not just friends. If he can't see that his actions don't agree with his words then he is the one with the problem. My friend Scott was there the night I met my guy friend and over the dinner at Carrabas Scott told me he did not think he was capable of embracing the feelings he has. And why should he? It is working for him! Just not for me. And they all agree with you, I need to pull back and let him be. Heading out to breakfast with my Scott. He has rearranged his schedule to spend more time with me over this. Since my friend Bridget has moved, Guy friend is not working out, I am so glad he is there for me. I am a lucky person to be blessed with everyone here on the site, my good friends and my boys.
Just remembered something I heard a wise man say. "A healthy person and a sick person can't sleep together long. Either the sick person becomes healthy or the healthy person becomes sick." Wow, I heard that almost 15 years ago and it is no more truer then then what I am dealing with today.
Lori- I have been reading a lot of your old posts and I have appreciated reading them. I am new here but have to say you sound like a very strong woman. Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. I went through something similar in July and it is never easy. But, it is true, we need to put US first and foremost. I love the quote you put above about how a healthy person and a sick person can't sleep together long. Either the sick person becomes healthy or the healthy person becomes sick. SO TRUE! Thanks again for your wisdom and unknowing support to others.
Hi everyone! I have been away from the site for a while, got really busy and then went away for 2 weeks to Chattanooga TN for an intense certification class. Had to eat out for all meals, no car, no refrigerator in the hotel room, needless to say I did not stay on plan.
Now I am struggling to get motivated to get back...Just not really into it and the time and dedication it takes but I know I need to.
Any suggestions?
Everyone
