thanks so much for the kind words and support, FL!! it means a lot.

noahsmama,
I'm so sorry to hear about your trying times...I know just how you feel.
Sometimes food can really be a comfort.
One thing for sure...you cannot change the past, but you can influence the future.
What is MediQuick? I wish you luck with it.

Girls, hang in there...October is more than half gone and November promises to be a much better month, I'm sure!

NoahsMama, I send massive hugs your way. Don't fret over the birthday party...the kids won't care and their moms probably shouldn't complain, either! You'll do great on MQ -- look how far you've come already, girl! Dropping this eight will be a breeze!

FL -- check your messages!

-- JJ

oh thank you ladies for all your kind words! I knew you all would know just want I needd to hear. These past few weeks I've been rather silent on the boards because I havne't felt like i had anything to contribute because i was so down on myself

leahruthie, i have been keeping you in my thoughts as i've read your updates and just know that i've been keeping tabs on you and only 3 pounds?! WHAT?! that's pretty darn awesome for everything you've been through and that compared to my 8 in 4 days! way to go.

FL you and Lori and Karen ought to be therapists I tell you! I could never say the things you ladies say so eloquently. I'm in HR and this week was a 'bad HR Week' if you get my drift. Fortunately, those days/weeks don't happen that often.

Thanks for all the well wishes again! I'm finishing off all my chocolate tongiht..I know...one last hoorah I suppose. Tomorrow I will have a small piece of b-day cake and then Monday is when I'm goign to start MQ b/c I don't have any shakes on hand so I'm going to have to go into the center to buy some.

One big group hug to all of you too! I hope this month goes by soon too. but that means I'm one more month to my 30th in november. argh Night everyone. I'm off to have my last DQ dilly bar

Thank you. And you're right, I can influence the future, good point! Mediquick is where you do a bar/shake for breakfast & lunch and then a regular dinner. You're supposed to be able to lose up to 7 lbs in 7 days and you can only do it once a month. I've never done it before in my 6 months on program but I'm going to give it a whirl and see what happens! hopefully it'll get the scale moving

rip, what menu were you on out of curiosity? i've never heard of a snack besides an HNS? you're doing so good OP! Good for you!!

OMG...the last Dilly Bar I had (about 20 years ago) was a disaster. My younger sister and I still giggle about it! It was a very hot day and we'd just finished painting the exterior of our older sister's house. Anyway, she handed me my Dilly Bar from the drive through window and it immediately fell apart and ended up in my lap...I was in shorts...it was a very uncomfortable ride home!

Enjoy yours, NoahsMama! Hope it hits your mouth and not your lap!

Oh now that's too funny!! It definitely hit my mouth, every last drop of it and it was good!! I can't believe i'm saying this on this thread lol. but it is what it is and monday wil be my day to start fresh. I would start tomorrow but knowing that i'm going to have a piece of cake jsut doesn't seem right plus I don't have any shakes night all!

Hey Noahsmama,
It sounds like you've been struggling alot lately with food, stress, choices, hormones and lack of results. One thing I noticed a while ago when my losses slowed down yet I was 100% on Plan (ok, this was months ago for me), my motivation and willpower dwindled quickly... It's so hard to stay OP when you're not seeing the results. You begin to question and doubt yourself, the plan etc. It is so frustrating and can certainly lead to making some not so great choices, I know, I've been there. It's unbelievable how emotionally tied we are to food and as we struggle with life how quickly we turn to food for comfort, pleasure, happiness. I don't have the answer to this, I am still working on understanding this myself, finding this happy place where I can enjoy food but not abuse my body by gorging myself on it. I guess I could use some connections classes as well.

I've been thinking about this alot lately as I still have not really discovered the real reasons I let myself get this overweight and how I will keep from going back there when times get tough. I feel like I might need more help than just what the center offers though as I am not sure a group therapy session will cut it for me ... I need to talk to someone I can make a connection with, someone that can help me figure this out and teach me new ways to deal with life. I didn't get 100 lbs overweight b/c I was hungry or just eating the wrong stuff... food was my vice... I'm a pathological eater and I want to know why. I've mentioned before I work in surgery and two of our surgeons also do bariatric surgery - gastric sleeve, bypass and lap bands. Anyways, all patients undergo psychiatric evaluation prior to surgery and if they are found to have "addictive" personalities and are pathological eaters, depending on the severity, they are referred to a professional counselor prior to surgery approval. She works with them to prepare them for the reality of sugery, teaching them coping mechanisms as food will no longer provide this to them and help them avoid the pitfalls of an an addictive personality. Did you know there is a high rate of shopping and gambling addiction in bariatric patients? B/C they've lost their 1st vice, they turn to another w/o actually dealing with the real problem. Since our food addiction is not broken by surgery, we can still overeat unlike many bypass patients, we can easily turn back to food as our comfort and begin to regain the weight if we don't deal with the issues that caused our weight gain in the 1st place and learn to cope with them in other, healthier ways. I wish I had the answer to this that I could share with everyone here but I don't. I am still trying to figure it all out myself. Hopefully I can go see this nice lady and then share some of what I learn with all of you.

Anyways, what I have learned on my own is that the rolls, IC and cake bring false happiness that is always short-lived, they are never really our friends. Do I think you should treats here and there and not feel guilty for it, ABSOLUTELY! Otherwise, I am expecting myself to be perfect which none of us are and honestly, can I avoid these foods forever? This is a lifestyle change, we are giving up daily bad habits for better, healthier ones but we still living! The choices I make today do not dictate the choices I make tomorrow. I know how to control this using my MRC tools and I know exactly what to do to get back on track. If I forget how to do it, I get help. That's exactly what you did, you came and posted here and went to the center. I think you did exactly what you should do when you aren't sure where else to start. Sometimes we just need someone to grab us and drag us up out of the abyss, help set us up on the right path, supporting us until we can find our own feet again. I am so proud of you Noahsmama, you've been a great inspiration to all of us and we are learning so much through sharing with eachother.

We all want to succeed, that's for sure and we will, whether it takes 17 weeks or 27 weeks, no matter, we'll get there and in the mean time life goes on. Your party will be a great success and everyone will have a wonderful time, whether the toys litter the house or not, I'm sure of it. You will feel great by then being on the MQ, it will really help you feel almost cleansed and the lbs will be dropping back off again. **OK, just realized your starting MQ Monday, don't worry, you'll still feel great knowing you'l do great on it** And finally, no matter what, I just want you to know I think that you are a wonderful lady who deserves this and will get there if you remember that to treat yourself as good as you do everyone else.

Karen

A lb is awesome rip! I'm getting ready to re-sign as well... can't decide, 17 weeks or 10 weeks.... hmmm.... my hubby thinks another 37 lbs will be too much... I'm not sure what to think as my self image is pretty distorted right now... I weigh 187 yet my sister and others say I don't look oveweight, I'm so confused on this right now as I absolutely consider myself to still be quite overweight. The clothes are smaller but the image in my head isn't. So my goal is shifting 150-160... I don't know. :0)

Everyone,
Thanks for posting here everyday... reading your posts is what inspires me to keep trying, keep going, keep recreating myself and my approach to this in order to make it work... I look forward to coming here everyday and reading your comments and stories and sharing mine. You guys are awesome!

Karen,

Thank you for your kind and supportive words. You sure you and Lori aren't therapists on the side?! You ladies are just so insprational in what you say and HOW you say it so thank you. You said exactly everything that I've been thinking and feeling! You mentioned the post-bariatric patients having gambling/shopping addicts. I was beginning to wonder if I was a shopping addict too b/c that's what I've been talking about and doing a LOT of lately and even remarked about that to my co-workers that 'i'm addicted to shopping now that I don't have food.' I probably will go to teh connections classes (again) but I also felt like she was reading from a piece of paper and not really helping me with stuff. I just don't know yet. I'm going to get through today and enjoy it and then focus on getting back to myself as a priority tomorrow!! I can't wait. I already dropped a pound and a half this morning and that's after having my dilly bar and rolls late last night

Also, I'm going to stick to walking as my main form of exercise and maybe do some short run intervals and I think that will help with my mentality towards exercising.

Thank you again Karen, FL, and EVERYONE single one of you. I'm so glad I posted my thoughts/feelings on here and maybe someone else can relate to what I'm going through.

Have a great day everyone as I know (or hope) I will!!

Karen --

It's interesting that you mentioned how you see yourself even after losing over 60 lbs. When I went to WI yesterday morning, I was fortunate to get my favorite counselor, Tiffany. She pointed at my 'before' pic and said, "I don't know this person anymore," then asked if I can see a difference when I look at myself. I definitely see a difference (except when I'm in my swimsuit -- why at THAT particular time, for God's sake??). She mentioned that there are some people who, even after losing 75 lbs or more still look at themselves in a mirror and honestly can't see the difference.

I'm not a mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, but I have a couple thoughts...I just hope I can convey them! First of all, our society has such an obsession with being thin (not necessarilly being 'healthy'), and although those of us with half a brain try our hardest not to enter into that mindset, we can't help it...to a degree. We want to be thin. And after being overweight for a period of time, no matter how much we lose, we're still going to be critical of ourselves, because there will always be someone rail thin who is perceived to be 'perfect'. Keep in mind, that's probably also the person who only consumes vodka on the rocks and the occasional celery stick...when they're not shoveling cocaine faster than you can blink.

Secondly, like you mentioned, there has to be a reason we gained weight in the first place. And I don't mean because of a baby, because of an injury, because of occasional stress or because of a crazy schedule. It's deeper (and in my case pretty dark, too)...we need to find what it is before we can truly be successful at taking off the weight and being able to keep it off. Otherwise, I think we'll enter Yoyoland...lose it then gain it, with 'friends'.

So, here's my solution -- disagree if you wish, but it's how I'm looking at things -- be selfish. Search to find that underlying culprit, then annihilate the crap out of it -- for YOU. Yes, it's important to get healthy for your family, community, co-workers and employers, but even more important to do it for you...for the right reasons -- so that everything fires correctly upstairs, so to speak!

I truly believe we have to have our heads screwed on straight to get this right, so by all means, if you feel talking to a professional would help, I say, "Go for it!" I was in a very bad place in my head about a year ago and knew if I didn't seek out assistance, I'd lose my family, my job, my house...and my mind. I utilized our EAP and although there were times I'd walk out feeling worse than when I went in, over a period of a few weeks, I felt so much better. My counselor helped me lift a huge weight off my shoulders and I will forever be grateful to her for that! (Yes, it's entirely possible to use half a box of Kleenex and swear like a sailor at the same time!) I'd always been a skeptic of mental health treatment. I think because I would always associate it with being loaded up on drugs that make one 'fuzzy' 24/7. On my first visit, I laid down the law that I was NOT going to take any medications. She was very cool with that and we were able to abide by my 'rule' and still get me in the right frame of mind.

Like I said, I don't know if I was able to write these thoughts so they made sense -- I know what I want to say, I just have trouble getting there at times! And, it appears, I get wordy, too! I don't know if this helps at all, Karen, it sure made me feel better! I think you already know this -- you're a sharp cookie! Bottom line is, do what makes you feel good.

Hugs to you!!

-- JJ

oh JJ tiffany is my favorite, too! she's the one who signed me up. i had a good time catching up with her yesterday, too.

i agree with all the mental/physical disconnects, too. when i first lost all my weight and got down to 150, i still looked well over 200 pounds in my head and always felt that i was still fat, even though looking back at pictures i think was starting to almost get too skinny for my frame. it's weird. i'm hoping that this time around i'll be able to keep my mind up-to-speed with where the rest of me is, but it's awfully hard.

i've definitely been thinking of seeking out a counselor or someone similar to talk with as i move through my journey. i think i had a lot of unresolved stuff the first time i lost weight and that's how i allowed half of it to creep back on. need to work on the emotional/mental stuff as well as the physical if we want to be 100% healthy!

WOW. You guys really nailed exactly how I feel. I've been on so many diets, with some success, but I never get to my goal, and I never keep the weight off.
I know I eat for comfort, but I don't know why, or how to go about fixing that part of me. I have not attended any classes yet, but I plan to get to all of them.
I was hoping they would help me gain some insight. Are their professional counselors who deal with weight loss issues? I've never been to a Mental Health professional. I was never sure how talking with someone whould help me, but if it helps me get answers, I would give it a try.

noahsmama,
I don't even know what menu it was and I left it at the center, how dumb. I really want to hold on to them. It is the same as the beige except you get a snack in the afternoon and it is required. Either 1oz of cheese or 1 egg. Sorry I am not much help.

Karen,

I saw my brother last week and he said I was getting to skinny, well no way I am still obese, barely but still in that range. I think he has seen me for so many years overweight that I look thin to him. More and more often people at work stop me and say I look great and want to know my secret to the weight loss. Last week I started thinking that while it makes me feel so great when people say these things that it may also be slowing my weight loss. There is this little part of me that thinks, hey I must look good so why go on, just stay where I am now, hence a little more cheating than usual. The rational part of me says NO you are still way overweight and you must continue. Then to myself I say, why people think I look good, isn't that what I wanted? then I tell myself. yes that is one of the reasons I am losing the weight but only one of a hundred reasons and the most important reason is to be healthy which I still am not, and to feel better, which I do, but I know I will feel better than I do now 30 or 40 pounds from now.

This is such a mind game. When I started OP I thought about it constantly for a couple of months then my mind just seemed to forget I was on the plan and eating OP was just a way of life and everything was wonderful. Last month I began obsessing again about it and I don't know why. I think a little part of me is scared of when this is all over. I do pray I have the tools after the program to keep it off and think that being scared also keeps me from losing. I know it doesn't make much sense but in my mind it does. I will keep forging on.

Interesting about the gambling and shopping. So far I have not turned to either of those even though I did go xmas shopping yesterday which is starting about 3 weeks early for me.

To keep my mind off food I tried reading but I still wanted popcorn or something to do while reading. I then turned to jigsaw puzzles which has helped me so much. Probably because it keeps my hands busy. my husband even made me this really nice wooden puzzle board with a top so I can move my puzzles around to different places in the house or just move it from the room it is in when we have guests.

Well it's about time to go eat my fish, yuck, but that's okay



Started MRC 5/9/09




This will be a life long struggle and if I have to play these mind games forever to keep the weight off I will.

Frankly this forum is what keeps me going on the bad days. We share our failures and successes and cheer each other on. You all are like best friends I have never met!



Started MRC 5/9/09

Here's to fresh starts (drinking water!)....we all need fresh starts to help us look forward through the windshield rather than looking out the rear view mirror. Don't fret about the last week, which was just a very small window in the last 6 months where you have made such amazing changes. Celebrate how far you have come and that your goal is within reach. Keep up the good work!