Up to 149.9 this morning and not feeling very good about myself. I'm on the verge of a serious vow at reform and self-improvement. How to curb intake calmly, rationally and nearly mathematically, without getting into the restrict & binge cycle?
Saef, no easy answers from me, just sending you empathy and support vibes. If you think that you're eating all the right things, just too much of them, then maybe a couple of days of near-fasting will help reset your appetite so you're satiated with less? I know for me, a bout of gastroenteritis or a couple of days with skipped meals will definitely make me feel full on less for a good while thereafter (esp. if I don't overeat to "stretch out" my stomach again). Then you wouldn't have to weigh and measure your food.
Andrea - you were in China when my crazy started I think. DH is having some medical stuff going on - CT scan last week, MRI coming up. Waiting waiting. It has been difficult finding foods that don't make him sick. My uncle is at a hospital facility near me where he checked into rehab, got moved this week to a full hospital as he has pneumonia, and my mom is giving me quiet heck for not going to visit him and try to talk to him as he says he isn't going back to rehab. Some job stress, school about to start, a decent amount of not sleeping. I'm letting it wear on me.
Andrea - you were in China when my crazy started I think. DH is having some medical stuff going on - CT scan last week, MRI coming up. Waiting waiting. It has been difficult finding foods that don't make him sick. My uncle is at a hospital facility near me where he checked into rehab, got moved this week to a full hospital as he has pneumonia, and my mom is giving me quiet heck for not going to visit him and try to talk to him as he says he isn't going back to rehab. Some job stress, school about to start, a decent amount of not sleeping. I'm letting it wear on me.
that's a lot of stuff to carry Shannon. Why do you have to be the one to talk your uncle back into rehab? You have enough going on with your DH.
Dagmar - I don't have to be the one to take him and have declined to interact much so far, I just happen to be the only person in the family who lives close. I'm 20 minutes away and everyone else is 2+ hours. My dad drove up last night so that took some of the pressure off.
Looks like I won't be able to take the online Buddhism course after all. Can't get the videos to load and now can't get the course content to load. Bah!
I exercised yesterday despite not wanting to. I'm really starting to get mad. I don't know if it myself that I should blame or medications. Here's the thing: I've been off birth control pills for just over a year. During this time, I cut alcohol consumption by more than a half. I lost about 8 pounds. Then I started taking medication for hot flashes (generic premarin). At that same time, I went on vacation and regained those 8 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Since then, I've gone back to a good diet, little to no alcohol consumption and added exercise. And I can barely lose anything. In my mind, it is the medication. So, I have a doctor's appointment a week from today. Do I ask to go off the hormones and risk getting the hot flashes again? Or do I go with what he is going to do (he'll be adding a progestin hormone)?
S-good 7 hours
E-treadmill and weights
B-berries and yogurt
L-gnocchi
D-sandwiches
Down to 148.7, in the right direction. But I just ate something salty and fatty at lunch. Andrea, your idea of doing some kind of re-set sounds good. I am not going to fast, though, as that's too close to restrict/binge. I am going to try lowering intake and being a little hungry instead.
Just about the same at 148.6, despite a salty lunch yesterday. A heat wave in the forecast from a so-called "dome." No hot water in my apartment complex, due to some valve in our circa 1928 pipes breaking. I still have to write up one last midyear review and deliver it. This feels like a day that's wavering between good and disorganized.
Friday morning, weight down to a number I haven't seen for months. Still higher than it should be.
S-good 7 hours, with some strange dreams. Upon waking, I felt like I could sleep another couple of hours, but that won't be possible until Sunday.
E-treadmill and weights
B-berries and yogurt
L-fish something
D-pizza (we found a new take and bake pizza place and the pizza is really fresh--DH remarked that there is NO grease at all despite having sausage on it)
My whole day felt strange because of not going to the gym in the morning as I usually do. I ended up writing that midyear review from 6 AM to about 9:30 AM, delivering it in a meeting at 10 AM. Then other meetings happened, and then I was working on a PowerPoint for someone till 8 PM. Finally I headed off to the gym after that.
Today the heat will be punishing, but out on my patio with an early morning breeze, it feels fairly delightful. I'll be running errands all day in preparation for my business trip & week away from home.
Weigh in was encouraging, at 147.8, when the tension yesterday made me want to eat & eat.
Saturday morning, weight up to what it has been. Went golfing this morning in the hot, hot heat. We had a good time, my team came in first (of just 5 teams).
S-okay 7ish hours, strange dream including Keith Urban and hotdogs for brunch
E-golf
B-pizza
L-reuben sandwich
D-heirloom chicken parmesan
For the first time in several weekends, I did not work on Saturday, though I checked email and as a result, sent out two emails in response to a concerned query from upper management. I ended the day feeling fairly satisfied with my tally of errands, from a trip to the P.O. and bank to a haircut and a bout on the Stairmaster. Also, I called my mother. Other than that, I was hiding away from the intense heat.
I'm at 146.8, which is a nice drop from where I was several days ago.
Today will be more packing and preparing for the week-long business trip, an annual high-level planning meeting that is always exhausting. I must take good care of myself while I'm there. That means sleep, exercise, good food choices and maybe trying to remove myself mentally for a few minutes here and there, whether that means attempting to meditate or hiding in a stall in a ladies' room for a little while.
that's a lot of stuff to carry Shannon. Why do you have to be the one to talk your uncle back into rehab? You have enough going on with your DH.
