oh Sue I was just getting to know you! hurry back!
I have opted to move to day 5 today as yesterday I worked hard at giving myself credit and part of it was the fear of "eat slowly and mindfully" looming up ahead.
I discovered this morning that I ate my egg and v8 while thinking about it. and it's a very uncomfortable feeling. I don't like it. too much work.
Since today is my birthday and off plan food will abound (MY CHOICE TO BE OFF MY PLAN TODAY) I will enjoy my day and spend ALL WEEKEND working days 4 and 5.
I found that reading my reasons for losing weight (which is my computer wallpaper at work and at home) OUT LOUD makes it more real for me.
*** Cammie enters thread, head bowed. She looks around ***
Humbly begging to return Bill and crew. I hope that's okay with everyone...
I've been MIA. And as I'm sure you can guess, I've got more weight to lose now than I did before I left. No surprise there.
Yesterday I decided to pick up Beck and start from the beginning AGAIN. I'm determined to make it stick this time. And keep re-reading as many times as I need to.
I hope that's okay with everyone. I see some familiar faces and lots of new ones working the plan, so I'm here to give it another go!
Today's focus is using the "unfairness" excuse to eat. Been there done that. Again and again. I get very resentful sometimes. And then that morphs into rebellion. And that expresses itself as a "I'll show you. You're not going to tell me what to do with my life!" And no one has even had to say a word. In hindsight I always wonder who I am fighting against? Just who is feeling my wrath? No one that I can tell. In the end, after giving in, I feel bad and I feel my own self hatred for failing. Yuk! NO MORE.
BillBlueEyes I send you buckets of determination to stick to your plan in the face of all those choices this weekend! You can do it. You've proven that to yourself over and over. Hope your conference is productive and that you can enjoy some of the perks of getting away.
coastalsue Sorry to read your computer is sick. I look forward to your next post!
hbuchwald Wow that's very hopeful that you noticed you no longer question staying on this program. That says a lot. I hope I get there too... in time I guess. Thanks for sharing that.
SeaChild Congrats on your loss. Great! Happy to see you're another rebel just like me. I just had to throw in the towel on this food thing and surrender to Beck. I've had it fighting food and my weight and trying to stay on track. I just wasn't getting anywhere even though I found a good foodplan and I started exercising, everything you are supposed to do, and then I'd have bouts of uncontrolled binging and *poof* weight's back. I've done this for two years now. I've had lots of insight which just didn't seem to matter faced with Food X sometimes. My behaviour baffled me. I really needed a new approach. There's enough in this program to keep me busy and it's making a difference. Hope you find it as helpful.
wendylan Congrats on staying on plan in the face of a gain. I hope you don't get sick with that awful flu! There have been some really tough bugs around here this winter.
Hello to ladybugnessa, kuhljeanie, mezmerize, AnnCan1111, and barbpos and all others who may be lurking or who I missed!TGIF
Bill I am not sure where I fit in yet. I was thinking of doing slimfast, because I am on vacation quite often so it may work better for me, (still unsure). Thank you for your brushing teeth comment, it was an Aha moment for me. I just need to do this healthy eating as I brush my teeth each day. No excuse, I wouldn't go without brushing my teeth. I too had that song in my head all day. Good luck with your conference.
Sue - Wow, it would be so nice to be swimming. I find it relaxing, it is a good workout for me. I wonder why I don't do it more often.
Heidi - Wow, I have noticed you are one busy organized lady. You sure are making this work. Great job.
wendy - Your posts speak to me...thank you.
Jean – Enjoy seeing Great Big Sea. I have seen them a few times. I really enjoyed it.
mezmerize - Wow, I can't imagine exercising with a staple in my stomach. You are one tough cookie (meant in a positive way)
barbpos – I am such a yes, but person. Thank you for making me aware of this.
onebyone – When I read your posts it sounds like what I am thinking. Thank you for making me ponder thoughts I was avoiding.
Ellen - I am seeing a trend here, as I read you post I see I am thinking these things....I guess that is why Beck could write a book like this. We all can identify with each other....funny it took me this long to realize that.
ladybugnessa - Thank you so much for your hug yesterday, I really needed one. Happy Birthday to you. Enjoy your day
Cammie, credit you for coming back and rereading Beck. I know you will do this.
Maryblu, Hello to you, maybe you haven't posted because you got sick after starting your car in your nightie in the cold weather....joking. I read you are busy.
OnebyOne,
I crossed posts with you. Good Morning
Good luck with Day 23 Overcome Feelings of Unfairness I truly believe this is a great day to master for all aspects of life for me.
Have a great day.
Ann
Last edited by AnnCan1111; 03-14-2008 at 08:30 AM.
oh my goodness... alot of posting activity since i last posted. i don't think that i can address everyone so this will be a general shout out to everybody!!!
first off--welcome to fellow newbies! i am so glad to see this group expanding, it really re-emphasizes that this program is a good idea.
to all--everybody is doing great! you all deserve credit for posting even if you don't feel like you have done anything else right, trust me, you are all an inspiration to me.
my take on TBL--if the producers of that show wanted to have a REAL contest, they would show people at home, dealing with their everyday lives and how they are loosing weight. the fact is anybody can lose weight if they have 24 hours a day to spend just on that. here in the real world we have kids and jobs and have to do laundry and cook dinner and carpool and still find time for fitness and eating right. NOW That would be a show.
to me, "reality tv" is not real, except maybe some of the shows on the discovery channel and the learning channel.
as for my progress, well i am stuck on day 3, eating while sitting. i do eat while sitting, but i think the point is to not mulit-task while you are eating and i have a hard time with that. at lunch i like to read my book and at dinner i like to watch tv. oh and bfast is almost ALWAYS in the car. i will master this step this weekend and on monday i WILL move on to step 4, i'm pretty sure that is going to be a hard step too but i am not going to worry aobut today. today i am going to focus on eating while sitting and paying attention to what i am eating.
hope everyone has a great day!
amy
ladybugnessa – Please don’t feel bad about me and workouts. I have a problem that I need work on and that is fitness. I HATE to workout. (well I use to really hate with a purple passion!) I started a Thread awhile back to help get me to once again love doing it. Lessofsarahtolove had one when I 1st logged on to 3FC’s many years ago. She helped me along and I lost 40lbs. Then gain it all back 3 time not only did I gain it back each time I stopped coming here. I stopped working out and once again hated the thought of it. It happen every time at the 200 mark. I didn’t know then as I do now that lots of people have this very block. I was afraid to ask years ago and now I’m so close to the 200 mark and I just want to hit below it so bad. I want to rid of this ugly feeling of no matter what I do I can’t get below 200. So please don’t let me discourage you in any way. I no longer allow myself to eat at the computer or standing. I do drink coffee.
onebyone - Congrats on the weight loss. I loved reading your post! Very inspiring! That coat sound really nice. (ok playing catchup so just read your last post) I feel that who am I fighting against? I’m also with you NO MORE!!! Raises Fist High In The Air and Shakes It!!!
wendylan – Sending well wishes to you and yours.
SeaChild – I have many Leslie Sansone but currently I’m doing Walk Slim 4 fast miles. It has markers for 1.2.3. miles it also came with 1 mile jog dvd. Which I haven’t tried. I used her Walk Away The Pounds to lose my 40lbs each time.
coastalsue – Backup your computer and hopefully you made a system restore disk. Use that if all else fails. But try and backup everything 1st.
BillBlueEyes – Kudos for planning ahead and saving part of your porkchop! Bill he never gave suggested a plan. Geez didn’t even think of that since what I was saying wasn’t hitting home with him. All I’ve read said walking is good for after this sort of surgery. I’m going to continue to walk and I’m going to call my regular doctor and see what she has to say. She is an amazing doctor! She actually sent congratulations on your WL cards to me when I use to weigh myself weekly at her office. She told me to stop in anytime since at that time I didn’t have a scale. I never knew she even checked my charts til I got my 1st card.
CammieCam – WELCOME BACK!!
AnnCan1111 – Non taken I love cookies! Welcome! As far as fitting in hang around lurk whatever and join when you are comfortable. There is a slimfast thread here you might also want to check that out. Not that I want you to ditch us. They might have some very helpful tips!
As for me trying to play catchup with this tread we are really moving along! AWESOME! I'm planning on walking once again doing the 4 walk w/o jogging. My DH is off today so will be running around town with him.
I'm on day 6, Select a Coach, and since I'm here with the benefit of this boundless sea of able and in-process coaches, today seems easy. Most of all though, from this day's mental work, I must remember to be accountable. When I start to falter, I tend to abandon ship and drop from sight. (On that note: Welcome back CammieCam! <smile>)
Beck urges honesty as vital to this step. And this will matter more over time for me I'm sure. I wasn't always fully honest in the last group I was a part of, for fear of being ousted. The honesty here is refreshing and I'm encouraged to be real.
(Being honest with myself is sometimes the hardest of all. I mean, sometimes I won't get on the scale. Or if I do, I won't record the weight. Or I won't note a binge in my food journal. Or I'll say, I'm starting fresh tomorrow. The problem with all of that is that I'm not learning anything. It's just another form of denial. It's a fresh start at doing all the same old wrong or deluded things that keep me unsuccessful. )
This morning I focused on my breakfast. Mindful. And in that mindful state I noticed that in order to slow down my eating.... I looked for distractions! Eating with distractions wasn't the real problem. Needing distractions to slow down seemed really important... the food seemed to have too powerful an attraction for me. Clearly, food is way more important to me than I ever like to admit. I need to de-magnetize!!
Nessa... I agree with your perception that the slowed down eating feels like a lot of work. But I have to say I honestly did feel more satisfied and could actually have stopped before the food was gone...though I didn't. That's for another day! <smile>
Bill... Have fun! I'd love to say, hey it's not about the food...but for me it's always about the food too! LOL You made me laugh when reading your post today. Kudos Bill, on brushing your teeth! Stay strong.
Onebyone... it could have been me sitting typing at your PC earlier today! LOL.
You said:
I just wasn't getting anywhere even though I found a good foodplan and I started exercising, everything you are supposed to do, and then I'd have bouts of uncontrolled binging and *poof* weight's back. I've done this for two years now. I've had lots of insight which just didn't seem to matter faced with Food X sometimes. My behavior baffled me.
Me too. I felt I must have some dark psychological reasons for these seemingly crazy behaviors. But I've read that psychologically, we're not different. We just have a relationship with food, be it genetic or whatever, that keeps us eating and fat unless we really change behaviors and thinking! I'm willing to believe it, when I read these posts, so much like mine. If we want to be thin... we have to work at it. Change mindsets. Not easy for me.
Damn I just want to be normal. Maybe that's where some of our rebelliousness comes from.
I had to post early today, because my schedule is shifting around here. Sorry this is so long and sorry if I've missed comments to some of you! I'm still confused and in the process of learning to know everybody as individuals. I do relate to all of the posts! As you mention AnnCan (btw Welcome!) the similarities we share is certainly enough matierial to fill the Beck book! <smile>
Amy... I think what you're stuck on is not Day 3 Sitting while Eating. It sounds like you are dealing with what I've been struggling with ...Day 5... Slow and Mindful Eating. That multi-tasking while you're eating thing. As long as you're sitting... I think you can check Day 3 off your list and move on! <smile>
Talk to you all later... the weekend beckons. YAY!
Hey Ellen! Sounds alot like me. When I need the support the most, I tend to drop out of sight, embarrassed and ashamed that I'm having such a hard time instead of asking for help and encouragement.
I've been struggling with binging for the past few months. It's gotten so that I couldn't even go a week without an episode. And of course those feeling of guilt, shame, anger, sadness, you name it. The hardest part was/is the feeling of being completely OUT of control. I called my mom and attempted to explain it to her, about how when the episodes happen, I feel like I'm not ME, like I'm being controlled my someone or something else, but she just didn't get it. She just sees that I've lost all this weight, so how could I possibly be struggling now. That's when I decided to go through the Beck book again, and come back here for support. I wanted to come back before I turned the 7 pounds I've gained into 10 or even 15 or 20.
I'm on Day 2, Pick a Reasonable Diet. I'm already on WW (more OFF than on these past few weeks) and I know it works so I'm sticking with it, with calorie counting as my backup. Ive gained, this I know, but I'm going to overcome my fear of getting on the scale at weigh in tomorrow, and just do it. This way I KNOW for sure what my weight is, as a new starting point and can work towards getting it down from there.
Creating the Advantages Response Card was pretty easy. Truth be told I cheated a little and used my old one. The reasons are still the same, I just rewrote them, and wrote new ones for reminders I can use around the house and at work.
I feel better already just typing that out. Makes me wonder what took me so long to come back!!
I'm gonna go back and read the thread and try to catch up as much as I can.
Please don’t feel bad about me and workouts. I have a problem that I need work on and that is fitness. I HATE to workout. (well I use to really hate with a purple passion!) I started a Thread awhile back to help get me to once again love doing it. Lessofsarahtolove had one when I 1st logged on to 3FC’s many years ago. She helped me along and I lost 40lbs. Then gain it all back 3 time not only did I gain it back each time I stopped coming here. I stopped working out and once again hated the thought of it. It happen every time at the 200 mark. I didn’t know then as I do now that lots of people have this very block. I was afraid to ask years ago and now I’m so close to the 200 mark and I just want to hit below it so bad. I want to rid of this ugly feeling of no matter what I do I can’t get below 200. So please don’t let me discourage you in any way. I no longer allow myself to eat at the computer or standing. I do drink coffee.
oh girl I so get it! I HATED to move. I HATED to exercise. HATED IT. I finally found a gym that I love and discovered YOGA and a trainer I adore. then this stress fracture hit and i feel lost.
I know that the 200 pound mark for me is terrifying. I've been over 200 pounds for over 20 years.... just don't know how i'm going to deal with being in ONEderland.
Seachild said:
Quote:
Nessa... I agree with your perception that the slowed down eating feels like a lot of work. But I have to say I honestly did feel more satisfied and could actually have stopped before the food was gone...though I didn't. That's for another day! <smile>
WORD! that's exactly what happened to me this morning. While i'm NOT ready to not have the computer on when i'm alone eating, I did take a bite, close my eyes.... savor the food and the flavors and enjoy it. I slowed down. I was mindful although i still had the computer going. it was different and YES i was full before I was finished and NO I did not stop at mildly full. that's not yet on my task of things to do.
Ness and Ellen: i guess i read more into day 3 task than was there. you are right, i am eating while sitting. for this task that is all i need do. so i am officially moving on to day 4: give myself credit. that's a toughy!! i am not used to giving myself credit for much of anything. i am a perfectionist and since nothing i do is ever perfect, it's hard for me to take credit for what i did. well i guess making it through lunch is credit. i was going to have a salad but all the girls in theoffice wanted chinese, well i can't resist that but i did order broccoli chicken with steamed rice. no eggroll, no soup. normally i eat sesame chicken (which is fried) and fried rice, eggroll and soup with fried wontons. at least i am choosing to eat a healthier version of chinese food. so credit me for making a healthy lunch choice in the face of deep fried yumminess!!
i will come back and let everyone know how the rest of my day goes!
hope everyone else is having a good day
and cammie, when you feel like you can't face anyone, come here and we will help hold you up! we have all been there and will probably be there again. you are not alone!!
Greetings, all...old friends and new. I, too, am excited about our team growing; I am seeing some really great wisdom from new members!
I have been pressed just to keep up with the posts, and not doing them justice. Speed reading kinda defeats the purpose of reading the posts and reflecting on them, yanno?
However......I say this with tongue in cheek, and those of you who know me know I hate playing it straight.....with CoastalSue and BillBE absent for the weekend...well, with the grownups being gone and all..........lol....I feel kinda like the oldest daughter.......which I am, btw......anyhoo, please accept this in the playfull spirit intended.......and if my playfullness flops and offends, I will be pretty much absent for about two weeks anyway!
BillBe... "It just boggles my mind that I’m already thinking about the food." Yeah, me too......I know that drill. I have to say, though, it gets better. I can tell you that for the upcoming conference at which I am to present, I know I won't overeat or drink the day before, as that behavior seriously affects my sleep, and goodness knows, the way air travel and hotels dehydrate me, I can't afford to squander anything helpful that is in my control. That said, my annual professional conference coming up in May is 48 hours of really great buffets, at which I pig out every year. I remember in years past, in the old days, coaching new staff members on how to pace the eating...pacing, as if on a cruise, with the endless buffets.For many years, I have "had" to skip a breakfast or two, just to recover enough appetite to appreciate the next meal! I will report back how it goes......I don't feel the same excitement about it, actually. ..am more excited about the pontoon rides around the impossibly clean lake with islands and great shoreline. And there is always the possibility that the conference itself will be good...it could happen.......now, I am being silly. It IS good.
SeaChild, I am so impressed! You nailed it!
"But I've read that psychologically, we're not different. We just have a relationship with food, be it genetic or whatever, that keeps us eating and fat unless we really change behaviors and thinking! I'm willing to believe it, when I read these posts, so much like mine. If we want to be thin... we have to work at it. Change mindsets. Not easy for me."
That is the Beck wisdom to a T. Beck works; we just have to DO IT! And she gives us the step-by-step-just-do-it tools. That is power; that is certainty. Now, the rebellious part of us, the part of us that just doesn't want to: for a day-- for a meal-- for a weekend-- that is another matter, but the Beck tools, the Beck CBT is no fail.......it is the step-by-step-sure-thing that teaches us how to do it. That is so powerful.
I will be with you in spirit, and reading when I can...you are all great, and the new wisdom from all of our newest team members is really awesome.
life!" And no one has even had to say a word. In hindsight I always wonder who I am fighting against? Just who is feeling my wrath? No one that I can tell. In the end, after giving in, I feel bad and I feel my own self hatred for failing. Yuk! NO MORE.
You can do it. You've proven that to yourself over and over. Hope your conference is productive and that you can enjoy some of the perks of getting away.
Please don’t feel bad about me and workouts. I have a problem that I need work on and that is fitness. I HATE to workout. (well I use to really hate with a purple passion!) I started a Thread awhile back to help get me to once again love doing it. Lessofsarahtolove had one when I 1st logged on to 3FC’s many years ago. She helped me along and I lost 40lbs. Then gain it all back 3 time not only did I gain it back each time I stopped coming here. I stopped working out and once again hated the thought of it. It happen every time at the 200 mark. I didn’t know then as I do now that lots of people have this very block. I was afraid to ask years ago and now I’m so close to the 200 mark and I just want to hit below it so bad. I want to rid of this ugly feeling of no matter what I do I can’t get below 200. So please don’t let me discourage you in any way. I no longer allow myself to eat at the computer or standing. I do drink coffee.
Sounds alot like me. When I need the support the most, I tend to drop out of sight, embarrassed and ashamed that I'm having such a hard time instead of asking for help and encouragement. 
...lol....I feel kinda like the oldest daughter.......which I am, btw......anyhoo, please accept this in the playfull spirit intended.......and if my playfullness flops and offends, I will be pretty much absent for about two weeks anyway!