Day 26 and going strong. Yesterday was about identifying self-sabotaging thoughts. I really need to spend some time with this one, which I haven't yet done. So, to continue the theme, I'm trying to decide if I should stay with the day 25 exercise for a while or move on to day 26.
Nessa: great to have you here. I'm so glad that Beck is valuable for you, too. I think this forum is a great place for focused support with the Beck tools and concepts.
I keep coming back to day 4. Seems I can give myself credit....but very quickly follow it with a "yes, but"....as in one that came up yesterday, "yeah me for all the effort I'm putting in to staying on track"....YES, BUT "it shouldn't take so much work; I have to do this effortlessly for it to be worthy of credit".
BBEyes: I understand avoiding the "diet" word and mentality. This is not a diet...it's about finding a healthy approach to eating healthily for the long term. I've actually decided lately that I really like cottage cheese, as an easy, tasty (to me), snack, in those little pre-packaged 1/2 cups....unfortunatley, I still have diet associations with the stuff, that I've been working on letting go of.
Mez: I hope the staple removal goes well. Congrats on staying so on track and exercising, even with health challenges.
Onebyone: You're doing great. I love your honesty and directness in tackling your roadblocks.
I watch Bigger Loser occasionally, but I really have problems with it too. You're right, the people on the show are losing weight under extreme conditions of diet and exercise. It's not realistic, probably not healthy in terms of deprivation and stress on their bodies, and does not set the stage for long-term real life continuation of weight loss or maintainence.
Most of us have probably been on WW at some point, or other reasonable approaches, which tell us that healthy, reasonable weight loss should average about 1.5 pounds per week at best when we have a lot to lose, and less than that when we are close to goal. And that weight loss is uneven -- expect weeks with no loss or even gains, even while totally on track. This is the yardstick that makes sense to use for weightloss, not the unrealistic, unhealthy results in Biggest Loser.
Seachild -- welcome... congrats for getting here, working with Beck, and planning your food.
hi everyone! once again, i don't have nearly enough time to do justice to everyone's posts, or to properly say hello and welcome to the new folks - but wanted to drop in just for a little because i miss this board when i can't get to it!
also struggling with TOM and trying to figure out how my stomach suddenly turned into a bottomless pit. really craving salt, sugar, and fat, and it feels like it's constant - three days in a row now. we're driving to DC for the weekend for an irish music festival, hopefully that'll be a wonderful time with my sweet little family, and will distract me from thoughts of chocolate and candy and chicken wings.
funny you should mention the biggest loser! i was just reading a blog by a former contestant, and it really turned me off to the show. all that stuff about having a full-time nutritionist, psychologist, etc. appears to be PR from NBC. those folks are half-starved, dehydrated, and are expected to have colonics (yes, you read that right) to increase the dramatic weight loss. i wouldn't treat an animal like that. reminds me of something my mom said once - it's not about fast weight loss. anyone can lose huge amounts of weight very quickly, if you don't care what kind of weight it is. all you need is a chainsaw.
so nessa, ann, amy, ellen, anyone else who's brand new (apologies!) welcome! i try to post as often as i can because this is absolutely the most wonderful, supportive, neat group i've found. right now though i'm spinning far too many plates and am not actively working Beck or my YOAD diet plan. i'm just maintaining my health and fitness until i'm able to focus. welcome welcome!
Last edited by kuhljeanie; 03-13-2008 at 10:29 AM.
ladybugnessa – I had my gallbladder removed on the 3rd. As for me I didn’t move on until I had that step in my head. You know what I mean? IMO I think one can take as much time as they need for each step to sink in.
barbpos – I stopped watching the The Biggest Loser after the 1st season. Which is the one that inspired me. I’ve read other post on what is going on and I don’t like how they are tricking to gain or lose a certain week. I know it’s a game but I liked when each week someone actually tired to lose fat. IMO it seemed more real.
kuhljeanie – An Irish music fest sounds like it will be lots of fun! Sending Will Power Dust to help you stay strong!
Well the staples didn’t hurt one bit coming out! My doctor left one in my belly he said I leaving that in because you are taking longer to heal here (above my belly button) because that gallstone was so big and I had a hard time getting it out. Maybe I read him wrong but it seemed to me he thought I planned that . HA! I told him about my workouts and that jogging hurt. He said I shouldn’t be jogging. I asked about abs workout and he said 4 weeks for that. (at least) Nothing on it’s great your working out or anything. My sisters went to him and I swear it is not the same person. They said he takes lots of time talking and explaining things to them and such. With me I he keeps it short as possible. My sister said he just got back from Iraq so maybe that is it. I see nothing of halo they painted. I get this staple out wed. TOM is on it’s way maybe that is why I’m so grumpy. I think an Irish festival would be fun how about swinging by Iowa and picking me up kuhljeanie.
Mezmerize I had my gall bladder out in April 2006. best thing I ever did.
give yourself time to heal..... if you are just having the staples out you need to take it easy.
besides you make me feel bad that i'm doing NOTHING with my foot in this boot....
oh i came to give myself CREDIT (i'm truly still working that day) for NOT having pancakes with butter and syrup at the diner like I wanted and instead having salad and gyro fillings...
Coaches: Oh well, I didn't get here as early as I had planned to today. Oh well, I had a great visit with a friend at a coffee shop and we shared a lunch sandwich and I had a cookie. All accounted for and okay with my foodplan. Oh well I wasn't perfect today.
I get "Oh well".
I do deserve major credit though! After much trepidation yesterday over today's Beck weigh-in and the filling in of the graph in the book I got on the scale to discover I am down 3.8lbs. Wow. I am thrilled. Truthfully, every night before I go to bed I hop on the scale just to see what it says and every night this past week it hasn't said 260 like I've expected it to say every night. And every morning it doesn't say 260 like I think it will. Oh well I am wrong about what I think I weigh. I think I am hanging onto the 260# in my head cause admitting this is working and admitting that my weight is coming down is scary. I know I know it should be fun (and a part of me is so freakin' excited that I might be onto something with the Beck book and this group and everything) and the other part of me says it's not real, you'll gain it all back in a night (hence the focus on the scale at night I think and what's happened overnight). I tell you, I am holding my breath to see less than 248. That'll be real for me. And then under 240? I haven't been there in 5 years, just after the tail end of a diet that had me getting B vitamin injections daily into the stomach and the thighs, (enough injections to build up scar tissue there), and losing my hair, but I lost 99 lbs and hit a solid roadblock and so I was 173, and stalled. I stayed there for a day maybe? Long enough to buy a sexy long black vinyl coat that I wore once and grew out of immediately. It hangs, waiting for me, in my front closet. I was right back on the road to 248-262 where I have resided for 5 years and where I have now accumlated blood pressure medication... and of course I am 5 years older.
So kudos for the weight coming off. Kudos for my decision to do this already and to put myself into the Beck program and to let her tell me what to do! A major feat of aquiescence on my part; tough nut am I.
On this note I have been wrestling with the Beck program and the WW points program which is my plan of choice and reconciling the two. They seemed at odds and I've decided to do as Beck says and pre-plan and follow as best I can my plan using the point system that I make the night before and not rely on my weekly flex points to make up for unplanned choices during the day. Beck says we're to deal with eating impulsively and so I give myself to her program and will do this for the remainder of the book and then re-assess if this is the way for me. After being overweight since the age of 8, 36 years now, I have proven I don't have the skills to be thin over-time. Let's try something new I say! Give me what I need to maintain the loss I have now and to get to a healthy weight and maintain that for 5 years and beyond.
And a non-weight related credit to MOI for getting a raise! I got a (surprise) $1.00/hr raise at my ceramics job at the art school. Wow!
wendylan I usually get a major sugar craving before TOM, about a week before, and during it I want big amounts of rare meat. Those are my cravings. What I really dislike is how bloated I get. Two weeks before I will puff up. That lasts a few days. Then during OMG I swear I walk around so swollen and sore. Really, two weeks out of the month I cannot trust the scale. It's just wrong and I practice detachment from the numbers I see.
Sorry to hear you too suffer. Good thing is: this too shall pass.
ladybugnessa Welcome to the Beck program and all of us!
My thoughts on moving forward are to go to the next day's work when you feel ready. Just don't get caught up in perfectionism! That's a huge problem for me. Especially since I am so overly self-critical I may never feel I have done something good enough or well enough to deserve to move on. I'd just be aware of this angle if you are one such as I. So for me, I made myself go ahead. I continue to work the previous ideas as I move forward. If I get too hung up, I will go back. I have my whole life to get it right. I make a mental note, and have lots of written comments in my workbook where those trouble spots are.
mezmerize You sound frustrated with your body, are you? Sorry about the dr. visit being so unsatisfying. At least your staple is coming out in less than a week
SeaChild I was just like you and couldn't stick to my foodplan no way no how. I kept getting on track, losing a bit, then re-gaining it all. I've really been trying to lose weight (again... finally got the energy and desire to focus on it again) for a couple of years and then I was really sabotaging my progress. Since trying Beck I have stuck to the foodplan. I don't know why, I don't know how, but I am doing it. I think the structure of her plan with my foodplan really works for me. It gives me goals and focus and helps me realize it isn't all or nothing and that things are happening and I am getting somewhere. And my weight is reflecting that. I'm changing and my weight is changing.
Quote:
So today, day 4, I am proud to give myself credit
for writing out the plan, and sticking to the plan,
and taking credit for the huge deal this obviously
is for me.
Kudos to you, and me, and all of us who are doing this. IT'S A BIG DEAL.
hbuchwald Like you I really have to keep this Beck stuff at the front of my mind or I start to slack off. Kudos for coming back to it! And for posting even though you're busy... I too love the group discussion here and it helps a lot.
coastalsue Yes everything is relative. I remember a woman once telling me the story that as she exited a car some guy walking by said to her "Boy are you fat." She was about 400lbs. He had NO IDEA she had already lost close to 100lbs and was now able to get in and out of a car. A big deal in her life. To her credit (and I'll never forget it) she said to him, "Yep, and you're black. Have a nice day." She said to me, "Talk about stating the obvious." He had no snappy comeback. She said to me, yeah so? Of course I am fat. So? Indeed. He had no idea where she was on her journey. And she forgave him his ignorance and didn't dwell on his comment, taking it at face value only and not as a judgment of who she was. Kind of like an "Oh Well" moment of sorts. I aspire to feel like that in a situation like that.
BillBlueEyes
Quote:
My only plan 2.5 years ago was to switch from continuous grazing to eating like I would be willing to live with forever.
This is so interesting. You deserve mucho kudos for creating a plan for yourself that was true to yourself from the beginning. I applaud you for that and wish the same for myself eventually. I'd like to ask how long were you overweight and how overweight were you?
AnnCan1111 Welcome to the group! I hope you gave yourself credit for sending good vibes to someone on this thread! If not, kudos to you
barbpos Hello! Thanks for echoing my biggest loser show feelings. As for tackling the "yes buts" maybe you need to write an official response card to counter that reflexive action? This is EXACTLY the kind of thing cognitive behaviour therapy was built for. It's changing a habitual thought pattern.
Maybe you could say "Yes. No if's ands or buts allowed." Or something like that. "I say yes and mean it." or " I take credit unconditionally." "I deserve to take credit for ______." For a very long time I've been working with one affirmation only. " I approve of myself." For me, this seems to cover everything! (Hope this wasn't off topic? Was it? I am rambling here...)
kuhljeanie I so wish I was going to an Irish Festival! It should be a blast! I am looking forward to seeing Wayne Newton next Wednesday night. It's a 5 hour drive from me to the casino he's playing at and I am not even a fan! I just made a decision to see the famous showmen of our time before more of them die and see why they got that rep. How could I pass up Wayne?? I can't! I am sure his show will inspire many an artwork from me!
Thank goodness it's March Break so I could spend the time I needed to write this email! Yay for holidays.
Hello to all you lurkers!
Have a great evening!
Wow these posts are moving right along!I had a weigh in today at ww meeting and gained 0.8 pound.I seemed okay with it today and a few others in the group had a gain also.I stayed on plan today which was a feat in itself.I was at water fitness on Tuesday but only that day due to the kids having the flu,first me,then my older son and now my younger son.Hope my husband doesn't get it.Made some healthy chicken salad for dinner,finding out I don't have to order takeout when I want a quick meal.I am trying to keep quick things on hand,it will help my wallet also. thanks wendy
OnebyOne: I don’t watch much TV, but I especially can not watch competitive type reality shows like the Biggest Loser. Wow. They all seem to bring out the worst qualities in human nature and I’m amazed that the audiences seem to just love seeing other people humiliated , squashed, and eliminated. Painful! From what I’ve heard from others I know who do watch it, TBL also seems to disparage a slow steady weight loss, which is what I’m aiming for, maybe for the first time in my life. I am seeking support for this choice. I want to kick up my heels if I lose “only two pounds”, not be brought to tears. (Even though like you… the “real” me wants that big drop. I mean, please … we stayed on the plan for a whole week, didn’t we?) I’ve given up on so many diets because I just wasn’t losing fast enough! Time to change.
Coastal Sue…where do you live, if you don’t mind me asking? I live on the coast too, but we won’t be swimming for a while! <smile> I’m jealous girl!
Mez… what walking program do you do? I do them too.
Bill…. Thanks for the welcome and the total inspiration and thanks for sticking around as a coach!! I would like to follow in your footsteps some day. I am also aware of the National Weight Loss Registry and would love to be able to add my own story some day in the future.
I had intended to answer your question about how I got “here”. I was on another similar diet site for a couple of months, but everyone there was on the same weight loss program, and the site had a military bent which I couldn’t relate to. Also many people seemed harsh towards some newbies that I felt was excessive. They wouldn’t tolerate slips and asked people to leave, which made me feel uncomfortable. I slipped! A lot! So I felt I couldn’t be very honest.
But I loved the format, and a lot of the people I met there were great; I just didn’t find much interest in Beck. Because of my seeming inability to stick to a diet for more than a few days at time, I instantly found reasons for hope in Beck. I did a search and checked out a couple of other sites, but this one is so much like the format of the group I started with and mostly enjoyed, and you guys seem actually to be working on and talking about the Beck program! Just what I was hoping to find.
Glad you’re all here. <smile>
Heidi.. thanks for your comments. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Whether you give yourself credit or berate yourself… you do tend become what you focus on. I like myself better when I lightly dismiss what I used to negatively dwell on.
Nessa…Today I did not do too well with eating slowly or mindfully. But I’m going to move on to day 6, and concentrate on mindful eating tomorrow as well.
I eat and read. And I tend to wolf my food. It’s a family trait. (And none of us are very thin!) It just seems maddening to me…to stretch out a meal!
Yikes. Do I seem rebellious over each of these new behaviors? I’m a dyed in the wool self-saboteur. But I am here to change!
Thanks for listening and sharing everybody! Have a great tomorrow!
I really have to get back to doing those blasted report cards but I must check in with my “peeps”!
I agree that taking whatever amount of time needed per day of Beck is time well spent. Several of us have finished the book/program but are rereading it and taking turns summarizing the chapter and sharing a perspective or two about it. It takes time and revisiting. It has definitely taken me longer than the 42 days of the book’s plan to get all this stuff down and I still want to revisit it all on an ongoing basis. Review is always good and so is going at whatever pace we need to.
Onebyone: I had forgotten my distrust of myself staying on this program when I began but I definitely experienced it. Not sure when exactly it went away but probably since I have been focusing on the positive stuff so much, the negative got pushed out (overall….).
Sue: Great perspective on eating a bit more than planned...it is not the end of the world! You really are sounding like your lifestyle is changing!
Bill: Now I have that song in my head! I have the same resistance to the word “diet”. When I first got Beck’s book, in fact, I had to decide quickly that I would use the words “intentional eating” instead of diet….it is used so much in the book, beginning with the title of course. I really do look at this as “taking care of myself” versus being on a diet.
Mez: I am sorry that the doc was not in the same form as he has been for your sisters. That bites! I am glad that the staple removal went smoothly…….keep on healing!
Our computer is having alot of problems-tried a new modem but think more serious problems are here. May not post until next week-stay healthy and I'll get back later.
Diet Coaches – Last night I stopped eating my (large) pork chop at dinner, saving the rest for lunches. That’s noteworthy since eating only part of a home served meal is new for me and still a bit rare. CREDIT moi.
I’m headed out for a conference all weekend. It just boggles my mind that I’m already thinking about the food. Even as I type this, Sabotaging Thoughts are swirling in my head about all the food - six meals of buffet style abundance and continuous snacks. The opportunity to stay on plan is available as both healthy and unhealthy choices will be available. There will likely be some congenial social pressure of the sort that has tripped me in the past, e.g. “You’ve just got to try the blueberry pancakes with sausages.” I commit to: baby carrots for car snacks, selecting meals within my food budget, having single servings (except soups and salads), limiting dessert to dinners only, and having the same number of between meal snacks as normal (3 or 4). I’ll report back.
Will be off-web Saturday and Sunday morning; see you guys Monday. Have a nice weekend.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Waving through cyber space even if you can't see it. Hope you are swimming today as we face snow here.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - LOL at "Now I have that song in my head!" Me too. Earworm all day. And I had to blame myself for it. Good luck with your report cards.
wendy (wendylan) - Ouch for the family flu. Kudos for being OK with your weigh in and for staying on track. Don't you just love it when doing the right thing saves money.
Jean (kuhljeanie) – Enjoy your Great Big Sea weekend. Safe driving.
Mez (mezmerize) - Yeah that you're down to one staple. Ouch that your doctor has limited your exercise. Do you have an exercise plan that lives within his restrictions?
barbpos – Thanks for raising the "yes, but" issue. Boy, am I capable of doing that to negate the benefit of giving myself credit. I also am slow to give up the thought that it should be effortless. Kudos for recognizing and facing this.
onebyone – Congrats on the pounds down and the pay up; may both keep moving in those directions. Kudos for coming to a decision on dealing with your WW points. I share your Sabotaging Thoughts that the weight might all come back overnight. Thanks for reminding me that I need to keep using my Believe It Card. My own weight had accumulated over the last 20 years, adding faster toward the end. Carrying 81 extra pounds was a lot; I tried the old "I carry it well" for about 40 pounds but as my middle expanded that stopped working. I looked fat.
Ellen (SeaChild) - Feel comfortable bringing rebellious thoughts around here. You'll find lots of company, LOL. And thanks for the kind words. You remind me that I'm here because I'm still trying to get it about food - still trying to learn to think like a thin person. Am slowly trying to give up the notion that I should be able to eat anything in any quantity. Am working toward the tooth brushing model. I brush. I NEVER think about brushing all day long except after meals, and then I don't think about it, I just brush. I don't negotiate with myself to brush or not. LOL, let me try this here on your space. CREDIT moi for brushing my teeth. [Boy did that feel weird.]
Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Ouch for operating in a foot cast. Kudos for discussing your difficulty in giving yourself credit. BIG Kudos for giving yourself credit. One credit is sufficient to complete the check list for Program-day 4 and to move on. My own criteria was simply the ability to complete the check list. I dawdled on several chapters, e.g. hunger day, until I could check off that I had done the exercise once. I judged that the desire to wait until I met my own unreasonable expectations of completion was just another Sabotaging Thought.
AnnCan1111 - It's good for me to be reminded, "if we give ourselves credit we will stop negative self talk and focus on the positive things we do in life." Thanks.
Friday Readers – “… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You felt upset and thought that eating would make you feel better. … ” Beck, pg 21.
Saturday Readers – “… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You were too tempted by the sight of food when shopping at the supermarket. ...” Beck, pg 21.
Sunday Readers – “… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You were too tired to cook, so you opted for fast food instead. ...” Beck, pg 21.
My sister said he just got back from Iraq so maybe that is it. I see nothing of halo they painted. I get this staple out wed. TOM is on it’s way maybe that is why I’m so grumpy. I think an Irish festival would be fun how about swinging by Iowa and picking me up kuhljeanie.
WELCOME AnnCan1111
