Hi there everyone,
Things are okay here. The doggie has been still going through drama-he had a small surgery yesterday to tack his third eyelid up to protect and nourish a scratched cornea that hasn't healed...AND his blood is still not right so we are trying to diagnose and figure out how to help him if possible (low platelets). Trying to put my energy into that and dd and my plan. I read everything though and get so much energy from you all. I feel badly not doing the personal response each time-I do when I feel like I can.
Things that ARe working right now: focusing on one or two advantages per day, cooking my own food gets me excited to eat at home and to stay on plan. Trying to give credit....focusing on my behaviors and not as much on that blasted scale number, enjoying clothing hanging on me instead of binding me.
Diet Coaches I made it through my last day of work madness by going in early and working like a maniac; delivered all the stuff I had to deliver by the deadline. CREDIT moi. I have to fight the Sabotaging Thought that I don't deserve credit since most of the madness was caused by my procrastination. But a Helpful Response is: I procrastinate; I suffer; I get it done; CREDIT moi. Today will have an opportunity to walk and maybe gym. And not to forget, I didn't go to the vending machines even when the crunch seemed more than I would be able to complete (with serious embarrassment since the extent of my procrastination would become quite public.) CREDIT moi.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Congrats for having clothes that hang instead of bind. What a wonderful feeling! Ouch for dear Henry! Sending him healing wishes. Kudos for so specifically working Beck strategies. I love hearing excited about cooking.
Jean (kuhljeanie) - Kudos for identifying your "slow slide back to the wild west," and planning a response. Thanks for the thought that mindless eating of mediocre food is "zoned-outness. like taking a nap or more accurately, a break from my life." That's the thought that I've been missing as I kept wondering why my overeating was always mediocre food - quality food would wake me up! And I was taking a "break from life!" Hope you keep beating against this; this seems like a really important thought for me to get it about my stack after stack of oatmeal cookies consumed right after a satisfying dinner.
Barbara (barbpos) Thanks for the update about your heart - sending supporting thoughts that it continues ticking calmly. Kudos for progressing through to Program-day 40. Re: your plan for sweets. I agree your thought that "total sweets taboo" might not be a stable lifelong solution. Your "3 slow savored bites of sweets at the wedding" sounds like a sound plan. What has been working for me is to take one bite from DW's dessert. The built in limit is that she gets a serious territorial frown if she sees my fork heading for more, followed by an annoyed, "Get your own d*mned dessert!"
onebyone Hope you completed all your submissions and remained sane so you can have a relaxing weekend.
amy (gahundy) Your "live" coach sounds like a jewel. Good luck with your Program-day 8.
Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Kudos for banging ahead with mindful eating. And thanks for the reminder:
Quote:
Bill check page 117 of Beck... where is your hunger.. is it in your mouth or your throat. It's interesting that she asks that since I've always used the term MOUTH HUNGER to indicate that I want to eat when I'm not physically hungry...
So, to get it into my head, the full definition from the previous page:
Quote:
Monitor Your Hunger
How do you know when youre really hungry? Think about three recent occasions when the following occurred:
You hadnt eaten for many hours and really felt ravenous. That empty sensation in your stomach, often accompanied by stomach rumblings, was hunger.
You ate a big meal and yet you still wanted to continue to eat more. That was a desire.
You had a very strong urge to eat, which was accompanied by a feeling of tension and an unpleasant yearning sensation in your mouth, throat, or body. That was a craving. Beck, pg 116.
Your phrase, "mouth hunger", works better for me than throat hunger, or body hunger.
Readers " Medication can be effective in the short run but is accompanied by undesirable side effects. " From the Forward by Aaron T. Beck, M.D., Beck, pg 10.
I just had my weighin and I am down 6lbs. Whoa nelly! I lost the bloat from the trip and other things and am down a pound more beyond that. You know, I've reached this scale number before, but never has it felt like this. Somehow, this feels real. I think the difference is I feel like I have been working, really applying myself to get the weight off. It doesn't feel like I was "lucky" or I "out-smarted" the scale somehow (as if that's possible! sheesh!).
I feel like everyday I was trying, whether I succeeded or not and that means that I have a way of living day to day with food. Gee. Before Beck, I felt at the mercy of food. Sometimes it would leave me alone, maybe even for weeks, but then a big binge storm would swell up and I had nothing to face it down with except to go with it and then make repairs once it passed, but I'd be farther from my goal. over and over this was happening and now, I can't say it won't ever happen, but I just feel better. I may actually be learning how to maintain. Now I have to maintain this weight loss from this week and move forward... new thoughts... makes me appreciate my weightloss NOW and the daily work, the daily planning, the use of Beck tools daily, this is all happening now not just at some mythical "goal weight" in the future. Whoa again.
Okay, sober thought here. I have several eating triggers all in a row here.
1) it is SATURDAY... always my toughest day.
2) I am almost through a very stressful string of days. Stress will be over, also a trigger time.
3) just showed a big weightloss. may want to "test" it, see if it's "real" by overeating today... SELF SABOTAGE!!YIKES!
4) being tired being happy being emotional triggers plain and simple
5) my new week just started so I have plenty of points to use... more than enough for a binge if I wanted .. THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY ARE FOR
How to respond: it is easier to stay on plan than get on plan
Thank goodness I am on the official Believe It day. So I need to do my homework. Be aware of these things and use distraction and NO CHOICE and Oh well... to postpone. I can always pop a DVD in and work off some feelings too... and come back and post here if I get overwhelmed.
Still another busy day ahead but it's almost over and I managed to get my scholarship submission in and my print submission in, now I have the boutique submission due and some printmaking to catch up on that I am looking forward to. I alos need to fire the kilns today. The ceramic students face the same crunch as I so I have to get their work out and done too.
Have a great Saturday Beckies! I'll be back for personals this evening...
good saturday morning beckies!
hope everyone had a great friday!
i don't normally come here on the weekends and that hasn't really worked for me, so i am trying something different and here i am!
today i am taking the kids to grandpa while grandma and i hit the stores, ok so it will be sam's club and big lots. but without the kids so that makes it more of a FUN outing! nolan is only 4 and all boy so shopping is not his thing, he can be a handful! my dad is off today to he said i could bring the kids to him and mom and i could go shopping alone!
my plan for today is to just remember that over eating and eating junk makes me retain water which shows on the scale as a weight gain. and it takes me about a week to get my body back to normal. to much work for something that i can prevent. i had a sweet tea yesterday so I AM NOT HAVING ONE TODAY. once a week is a treat, all weekend long is a binge. i can get ice water w/ lemon at any restaurant, it's is enough.
hope everyone has a great weekend. i will be back later to report in!
amy
food has been spot on for two days... credit moi... i ate too much yesterday but it was veggies and i was aware of it. I am more and more becoming aware of overeating past FULL... right now i am working on that.
interestingly last night after dinner i could NOT have been hungry... i just ate way too much good stuff in good amounts... but there i was an HOUR after this dinner with my head in the fridge... and I thought to myself "YOU CAN"T BE HUNGRY so cut it out" and I did.
i had a fudge pop as planned before bed...
today is a crazy food day for us with the bull roast... i'll be as on plan as possible.
emotionally i'm a bit stressed as I'm having some conflict with someone that i know from another board who followed me to a board I created (about south beach) who really is being difficult in my opinion.... once she is gone from my life I think that I'll feel better.
I got a good night’s rest and have some fun things planned today including picking a friend up from the airport who is coming home with her newly adopted daughter from Ethiopia! We will go back to their house for pizza (unless the new dd is too overwhelmed-I just cannot imagine how she must be feeling with a ll of the new changes even though they are good changes overall). Anyway, I have planned in 2 pieces of thin crust pizza and will bring my own beverage to sip and will drink water as well.
I made some matzo ball soup and will have that for lunch and a quinoa lettuce wrap for a snack-I mention because I am excited to have them! As another way to celebrate my healthy cooking/healthy habits lifestyle, I am in the process of reorganizing my kitchen for maximum efficiency. That is fun for me so is a reward of sorts. I also plan to paint the kitchen during my spring break!
Currently focusing on the following advantage:” I no longer need to worry about heart disease or other health problems due to being overweight”. I really do worry when I am not exercising regularly. I plan to exercise today and tomorrow to get into that groove again. No Choice.
BillBlueEyes: You got all that work stuff done-kudos to you whether it took procrastination to get there or not!
Kuljeanie: aha moment: taking a break from my life with mediocre food…there is something to be said for “just sitting down” for a minute or two…thank you.
Onebyone: I am so glad to hear how great you feel due to your hard work at losing weight. Way to anticipate all those trigger events/feelings. How timely that you are on the Believe it day! Creating art sounds so fulfilling-do you enjoy the process of creating? I crave that and for now, cooking is doing it…. Decorating and organizing is up there too…
Gahundy: welcome to the weekend version of our group… enjoy that shopping alone-I can very much appreciate that.
Nessa: you are sounding very in tune with your hunger.
Diet Coaches Got in a nice long walk to the supermarket yesterday. CREDIT moi. California Navel Oranges are sooo good right now. Spent the morning shopping for an elliptical for DW to use for her knee. Thinking that we need to buy one so that she can readily get in her therapy as required. There are some really nice options available. I particularly like one that generates its own electricity to run the console, but, alas, that's in a rather pricey professional model.
Will have the opportunity to practice eating in the face of abundance this evening as DS and GF are making dinner for us; it will be fresh and healthy to be sure as well as super tasty, but in large quantity. I need a new Helpful Response like, ABUNDANCE is not a problem that requires my solution.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Waving to the West Coast even though you can't read this without your computer. May you get your web connection back soon.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Sending "Welcome Home adopted daughter" to your friend - that's some whopping big changes in two lives. Kudos for your meal planning. You make me drool with your quinoa - I, too, love that stuff. Neat that you're into cooking for your new healthy lifestyle.
onebyone Congrats on the reduced scale readings. Kudos that you "have a way of living day to day with food." That is one major achievement! May it remain with you forever. Good luck finishing up all your projects. Neat thought that you are a maintainer now (and that we all are after our first pound to maintain).
amy (gahundy) Welcome to the weekend! Hope you had a productive shopping trip yesterday, or, if not productive, at least a refreshing break from a 4 year old who is "all boy," LOL.
Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Big Kudos for recognizing that you weren't hungry after dinner - despite having "your head in the fridge." And Kudos for not eating.
Readers " Its also short-lived: People tend to gain weight once they stop taking it. " From the Forward by Aaron T. Beck, M.D., Beck, pg 10.
Sue sorry you can't get on.. and you can't read this either.
Heidi how did you make the quiona wrap? that sounds good. have a nice family/friend time
Bill... thank you for being here all the time, I hope you find the elliptical your DW can use. Next weekend I am picking up a recumbent bike for my DH that someone is giving away. it's a trip to Trenton to get it but it's free other than gas and tolls....
me today: back on my plan... and thinking about why oh why I deliberately sabotaged myself last night. especially since i was so good the rest of the day....
Yesterday was Believe It day for me and I didn't do my homework or read it until this morning. Guess I don't want to believe it. Hmmmm. I stepped on the scale and it was at 250.2 this morning. It really said that. I can hardly believe it. Because after I pass that 250 I am in the 240's and then less and less. Sometimes, like now, this feels scary to me. I always think I am alone in this feeling. It's like I am waiting for some "big reveal" to happen at weight X and some emotion will well up in me and I'll be swallowed up by some memory/reason as to why I've been gaining and losing the last 36 years.
36 years. Since I was 8.
Wow.
As I am at the midpoint of life, (maybe), I hope the next half is not filled with the agony of gaining and losing weight in the same way. I hope I can do this and move on already! As is probably the case, the fear of the thing is never as bad as the thing itself you know? And anyway, we can't prepare for these things in advance, they just happen and if it does happen I have to believe that I can deal with it. I can. I will. If I want a long and happy life I have to do this. I have to get fit, eat healthy. Can't count on a young lithe body forever. It needs me now to do what's right.
I have a challenge tomorrow. Our photography class is heading to Montreal for the day. I am taking the train with a friend/classmate. My food is open, for lunch for sure, dinner maybe, and I just want to make sure the floodgates aren't open if you get my drift! I will take my cards with me. I could even take my book. Hmm.Maybe not. if I feel weak I will take my bigger bag and pack it. So much thought and planning! I DO NOT WANT TO SABOTAGE MYSELF.
gahundy: good job on limiting your sweet tea. It's these small actions that build confidence and keep us on track. kudos.
ladybugnessa: Good for you you are right back on plan. kudos. BTW what is a bull roast? Do you roast a whole bull like a pig roast with the whole pig? I'm trying to picture the grill for that, or the firepit... it'd be BIG...
hbuchwald: I hope the homecoming went well for everyone. Very exciting! I love cooking too and usually plan for it over the weekend. I'm off my schedule this weekend though... and yes, I do love creating. I just like to make things. All kinds of things. If I am not making things, I feel sick. It's really important to me. BTW how's your doggy doing??? Please pat him for me!
coastalsue: thinking of you and hoping you are happily doing this --> I look forward to your return...
BillBlueEyes: Abundance: Just cause there's a lot of food in front of me doesn't mean there needs to be a lot of food in me. How's that? That actually works for me. Thanks. You know what I've discovered lately? Ever since I've been eating slowly and limiting my food so I am not ever overfull, I want to eat the best quality food I can get my hands on that I can afford. If I'm only having a bit I want it to be good and tasty. So I totally understand loving a juicy in season California navel orange. Before it'd be "Oh I'm having an orange. Bor-ing. What else is there?" Now it's like "OMG have you tasted this orange? It's fantastic." That change can only be good.
ONE by ONE... a bull roast is just usually good food including pit beef, pit ham and pit turkey (not the whole animal just the parts that grill well) and oysters both raw and fried. and other bad for you sides such as macaroni salad, potato salad and cole slaw....and lots of beer as well as music and gambling... it's done often as a fund raiser....
ONE by ONE... a bull roast is just usually good food including pit beef, pit ham and pit turkey (not the whole animal just the parts that grill well) and oysters both raw and fried. and other bad for you sides such as macaroni salad, potato salad and cole slaw....and lots of beer as well as music and gambling... it's done often as a fund raiser....
Wow. This sounds like a major foodfest! Wow. How did you get through it? Did you do okay? From your note it looks like you were all right during the event but it was afterwards at home when the event was over (I'm like that!) that the food snuck up on you... Did it? A bull roast seems like a major challenge to me... kudos are definitely due if you did okay at the roast no matter what happened later... credit needs to be given where credit is due.
Wow. This sounds like a major foodfest! Wow. How did you get through it? Did you do okay? From your note it looks like you were all right during the event but it was afterwards at home when the event was over (I'm like that!) that the food snuck up on you... Did it? A bull roast seems like a major challenge to me... kudos are definitely due if you did okay at the roast no matter what happened later... credit needs to be given where credit is due.
Thanks for your reply.
actually no surprisingly coming home used to be the issue for me.... now it's when i'm out. i try not to keep junk in the house although right now DH is very limited with what he can eat (it has to be soft foods) and chocolate is a weakness of his... and chocolate on sale (read EASTER candy) is worst of all....
i ate 2 pieces of cake at the bull roast and two fried oysters and lots of ham and beef... and some cole slaw... while the ham and beef are fine on my plan the other stuff is not...
so i decided to wait till I was HUNGRY today to eat.. which is also NOT on my plan but I think that it's the lesser of the two evils... so here it is 1 pm and i've done my errands and Finally starting to feel some hunger pangs...
Hi guys.
mysteries of computors-I can read the postings-just can't post anything over about 2-3 lines-then the screen goes blank and I lose it all-Trying this one and hoping for the best.
Hi to all-reading some great stuff
Saturday
Hello Brilliant Coaches! 
I look forward to your return...
