Hey everyone! I'm here, it's been busy the past few days. I have my weigh in this morning, wish me luck. Just wanted to check in really quickly, I've gotta go get my day started. Will catch up with everyone later!
I've been spotty about being here and writing, so it's time to check in. Day 34 for me...that's 34 days back on South Beach and with Beck. I've been going through the book a day at a time, reading the chapter (occassionally a day late), thinking about the concept, sometimes doing the exercise, writing down my food, exercising every day, remembering at least my short version advantages, sitting to eat, and working on the slow conscious eating. There are some "days" I'll probably never actually do (like day 12), other things I'll likely come back to.
As time goes on, I'm trying to distinguish between being a little less rigid and getting back into habits that ended up with out of control eating. For example, I wrote down my food yesterday morning. When I had lunch, I realized it was short from my typical lunch (I had protein, fat, and veggies, but I usually have 1 or 2 of beans, starch, or fruit). So, I added a fruit. It made sense to me, and I was not quite at the mildly full stage, but I had not done even that amount of unplanned eating until yesterday. On the other hand, I've also started to take tiny tastes while cooking, and I know that needs to end.
Big credit moi for Thursday. I had a busy day, with no time to exercise.... I left the house at 7:00 am, was home for 1 hour from 5:00pm until 6:00pm, and came home around 10:00 pm. As planned, I got on my treadmill for 10 minutes at 10:15pm!!!
I have a bit of a challenge coming up tomorrow. We're having 4 other families over for soup and salad night. (of course, soup and salad doesn't mean just soup and salad...it means bread, crackers, cheese, dips and dessert too)...Overeating before, during, and after entertaining have been major issues for me in the past. But, tomorrow I have NO CHOICE about eating beyond my plan.
Some responses:
BBE: congrats on leaving food on the plate. Thank you for reminding me that even after all your success and a year at this, you're still working on this one....it helps me (a little bit) with having gone beyond mildly full at dinner last night.....and BTW, my name is Barbara
Nessa: I'm with you on the slow and mindful eating...undistracted eating is really a challenge for me too. I think we can just keep working at it, knowing that the more we do it, the more we are able to appreciate what we are eating and not overeat.
Seachild: congrats on the WI awareness and change. I remind myself that the scale provides information.....that's it. And imperfect information at that, with day to day fluctuations...and even week to week changes that don't always correlate with how you've been doing. It's not always easy though.
One by one: I can so relate to being spellbound by the two little chocolates in the cupholder. I find that when I stop eating sweets completely, the pull goes away. That's what I've been doing lately, but I am considering having a few bites of the dessert at the wedding we're going to next weekend.
Beckies, I can't keep up with you all! Wow..adventures and all.
Dear CoastalSue, so sorry to hear you are struggling. We all know how far you have come! Dig out a picture of yourself 71#s ago and give yourself credit.
That message above was from your friend MaryBlu, the one who thinks you are the neatest, coolest person on the west coast...now......AHEM, from your Beck Coach, some tough love.
To coin a phrase: JUST DO IT!!
Just do it. Dig out the book, start at page 1. Page 1...the forward from Dr. Beck's dad. Page 1...read it, dig in, and just do it. Start over and just do it..because, here is the best part:
You don't have to "believe in Beck" or "believe in CBT" for it to work. Beck works if you do it......so.........just........yanno.....do it. Your assignment is to read it...start at page 1.....No excuses!
I am going to be gone for more than a week, so I will leave it to our Beck Co-Coaches to help support you......cuz you have come waaaayyy too far not to keep going..
Hello coaches Thank you for the responses to my last post about my trip and faltering while away. As I suspected, the scale was up 3.2lbs for me this morning for my official weigh-in. At times I fear I will never ever get below 250 ever again. Now I know the factors involved and they are temporary and things will change and move downwards again, but I still harbour the defeatist attitude too. For today I choose to ignore it and know instead that even as I sit here typing this I am losing weight.
I just got back from dropping off the rental car and picking up groceries for a few good recipes for the next few days. It's good to be back home and on plan. So glad it's Saturday and I have a few more days off before the last push to the end of the school term and the beginning of my summer work whirlwind.
coastalsue It's so very hard to stay with a plan when you are any one of the states that you mentioned you're feeling right now. It takes energy to do all the things we know we are to do for ourselves. I was glad to see you are managing to swim and that there will be a "healing lull" as you put it on Sunday. Just hang in there. Sometimes it is all we can do and that you are managing to get into the water that you love so much says a lot about
you desire to feel good, to treat yourself well. We do what we can when we can and when we can do more, we do. All the best to you today.
BillBlueEyes Good job at tossing those potatoes. And thanks for revealing that you too took some chocolate that wasn't yours and got heck for it. Yeah. I was so lost in what I wanted that I didn't give DH a second thought. And he's particularly sensitive to stuff like that. I *know* this about him. But it never entered my mind cause it was full of desire for one small gold foiled chocolate egg.
mezmerize Good going on keeping up the exercise and on recognizing that you need to fuel your body too. Great to hear you're on it and on plan!
ladybugnessa Saturday is the toughest day of the week for me to stay on plan. I feel it right now. I want to eat eat eat. Instead I am making soup. I accept that I might eat to overfull today, but I can at least eat quality food. Is this progess? I suppose. Anyway, I am not there yet and I do hold out hope that I will not eat too much or too fast. Good luck to you this weekend with being mindful with your food.
CammieCam Good morning! Good luck on your weigh-in today.
barbpos
Quote:
Overeating before, during, and after entertaining have been major issues for me in the past. But, tomorrow I have NO CHOICE about eating beyond my plan.
I do the same thing. For me it feels like a "holiday mentality", like I am on a holiday from my life for a day or two. And that means a break from doing everything that is boring and ordinary and the stuff I have to do. I am having trouble settling down and I've only been away a day. I need to read my book and draw a line in the sand for myself as well. Thanks for your post.
Hi friends!
I had a night out with friends last night-dinner and a play. I stayed on plan for dinner-credit moi! I had fish tacos and a beer. BUT then, I dug into some of that blasted easter candy last night and some cheesey/salty snacking… I realized that it was because DD was gone overnight and I felt “free” in some way. I am on this healthy path because I want to be not only when I have all of my charges here….??? I did stop myself with “food is not solving anything right now since I am not hungry”. And even “this doesn’t even taste THAT great”…sooo salty! I recorded it all and stopped…kudos to me. Today, I got up, made a yummy breakfast of some grilled polenta and an egg scramble with a small zucchini and some onion chopped up in it. I am sipping my coffee with doggie by my side as I check in with you guys. This week’s challenges include: easter tomorrow…none of the candy here is delicious enough to me to plan it in-NO CHOICE..no candy! We have late night conferences on Monday and Tuesday which includes being fed dinner by PTA. This is so nice but I will bring my food and plan to have 200 cals of whatever I want from their spread. If that works for Monday, I will apply it to Tuesday as well. If I am further tempted, I will wrap whatever temptation up for the next day… I may not be able to check in tomorrow.. skiing and then dinner with my cousin and home late on a schoolnight…
It is so hard for me to keep up with everyone but today I have time to personalize…
Ellen: Wow! What a great feeling to feel like you are tackling that habit. I really hear you on putting so much weight (pardon the pun) on that scale reading. I have gone through periods (not since I have done beck but before that) when I didn’t even own a scale and wanted to measure my “success” solely on how I felt physically and mentally. That is great in theory..I have also read somewhere about the long time maintainers weighing themselves on some consistent basis just to keep themselves in check. I decided that I wanted to strive to weigh each day just to monitor it but not make it as big a deal.
It struck me when I read your post that you talked about the starvation/binge cycle and then in another part of the post talked about tackling what you nicknamed “starvation day” (the day where beck asks us to skip a meal). I wondered if attaching that negatively charged word with something that you aren’t terribly excited about doing helps??? Just a thought I had while reading the post..take it or leave it.
Back to those WW WI days..I remember even trying to use the bathroom before going to the meeting as well as REALLY limiting my eating before and ending up feeling freer to binge or at least eat a “little something something” after weigh in. I am thrilled that you didn’t buy into that stuff this time!!! Kudos!
Nessa: Love the tattoo idea-creative! Five pound chunks are good small, yet significant amounts to partition it into!
Onebyone: LOVE the comments about Wayne Newton concert… that sounds like a truly fun time. I would love to go see Neil Diamond or Tom Jones for the same reasons! I am glad that you see the good things about what you did on your trip: the buffet, swimming, stopping yourself at different points and recording what you ate.
CoastalSue: Hugs to you… I like how you acknowledged that you aren’t hopeless but wishing you could get back into the groove of beck. I have had some bouts like that….I try to look at the whole picture and think about how this whole process of improving my life is just a really bumpy road but one that is ultimately taking me where I want to go. Do you have ONE advantage that speaks to you today that you can keep in your head? I am really hanging on to maryblu asking how badly we want this… I forget sometimes when I am busy/stressed/pms/etc…. how badly I want to do this for myself and keeping one reason each day in my head helps me focus. I also have been hanging on to your reminder that food doesn’t solve anything except hunger (who was the original person who suggested this?)…for situations. You have your exercise down SOLID!!! I am still so far from that…..just forcing myself to do a workout periodically and sort of avoiding what I know I need to do-NO CHOICE. Are you still meditating?
BillBlueEyes: Thank you for spreading the word on the sacredness of a woman’s chocolate stash. Wonderful story! Credit to you on the corned beef and cabbage prioritization! I admire your ability to keep track of everyone and their particulars….so supportive and kind and smart. Thanks for all you do. Ps I made what I and DD think is an awesome Ariel egg (little mermaid is queen around here these days..) and we made a scuba diver egg for her grandpa…fun times!
Mesmerize: What is the difference between the dried fruit found by the raisins at the store and the dehydrated fruit made for toddlers? I will check it out! I love your use of those little animated graphics-a picture sure says it all!!! I love your reference to a theme song..I actually read about that idea somewhere… that having a theme song to refer to in our heads can help. I often sing “take it easy on yourself….”…putting those songs on my ipod and taking a walk around the block could just get me back into my right mind….
CammieCam: Waving to you…. enjoy your day!
Maryblu: I love your posts…I take all the advice you gave to Sue today for myself also…Just do it!!!
Diet Coaches – Had the opportunity yesterday to stand down a strong desire to eat when facing some difficult situations. Had to pull out the old If it's hunger isn't the problem, then food isn't the solution. CREDIT moi for using the Beck program in a very real situation. The good news is that I got in two long walks in the sunshine (albeit coolish sunshine). CREDIT moi.
It's just super that there is no Easter candy in the house. As in 0.0. None. In the olden days I would be making regular passes through the local CVS Pharmacy that keeps an entire aisle filled with the cheapo candy-of-the-season. It's useful for me to remember how strongly I was drawn to that stuff, that desire for it is likely to return from time to time, and that I have the tools to stand it down. I still have much room to build up my confidence that I'm on a journey for life, not just a temporary good thing.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Sending encouraging thoughts - just thinking about you and wishing you well.
MaryBlu - Thanks for the encouraging post; your posts always make me feel that working the Beck program is a stellar good idea. Sending you warm support for your week away. May your daily choices be the ones you've planned.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for halting the nibbling and remaining clear and responsible. Your breakfast polenta and egg scramble sounds so good. It's a delight that you can casually mention Henry in such a supporting way. Reminds me that someone listed petting a dog as a good diversion when facing an eating desire. Good luck with your late night conferences while everyone's leftover Easter candy is abundantly sitting out. Sounds like you have a sane plan and a plan for sticking to it. Such good Beck stuff.
Note to self: I did it myyyyyyyyyy way is not an appropriate theme song.
Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos, again, for another 8 miles. You're on a roll!!! Kudos for avoiding the "food porn." I didn't follow your issue with not getting enough calories - were you under eating and worried about that leading to over eating later?
Cammie (CammieCam) - Waving back. Wishing you (belated) good luck with your weight in yesterday morning. And wishing you the wisdom to keep your perspective that, whatever the scale weight reads, you're still Cammie and you're still on track. Let us know.
Barbara (barbpos) – Big Kudos for sticking to your plan for the treadmill session Thursday evening after a long, busy day. That's an encouraging reminder that exercise can be planned into tiny time slots and then the plans honored using the NO CHOICE, and Just Do It tools. It's hard to imagine that running the treadmill would have seemed like a good idea at 10pm without the plan in place. And Kudos for being so attentive to your eating choices when wandering in the desert of unplanned eating at your lunch. Good luck with your "soup and salad" entertaining. Using soup and salad reminds me of using cottages for the mansions in Newport, RI. I hadn't thought of the notion that we enable our eating by using diminutive names to help disguise the magnitude of what's happening.
onebyone – Kudos for keeping a Beck-like perspective about your weigh in. And Big Kudos for recognizing that you "still harbour the defeatist attitude too." I, too, harbor the unnecessary fear that all this will disappear and I'll return to continuous grazing. This reminds to keep reading my Believe It Response Card.
This sentence hit me hard, "But it never entered my mind cause it was full of desire for one small gold foiled chocolate egg." What a vivid reminder of how desire can mask all our rational thinking. It reminds me of why an eating plan together with NO CHOICE are my weapons of choice for when my rational thinking is not available to me. Thanks for that.
Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Good luck with eating slowing and mindfully this weekend. I was so surprised when I discovered how quickly I was stuffing my face and how little attention I paid to what I was eating. That seemed to fit well with my discovery that I was over eating mediocre food even though I carried in my head the notion that I had gained weight because I loved good food. In fact, I loved eating mindlessly.
Readers – “Cognitive Therapy helps you solve both practical and psychological problems and learn new thinking and behavioral skills – skills you’ll be able to use for the rest of your life. … ” Beck, pg 21.
I thought I was going to get back on track yesterday but I did not. I seemed to want to do everything I could think of that was off plan. And I did. I didn't exercise. I didn't keep track. I had second helpings. I ate standing up. When I get into that mindset it feels almost as if I am "daring" my body to do something. Mostly to gain the weight back. I have had this fight with the number 260 on the scale for a year now. Seems I get to 254 or so, and then a rebellion ensues and I "dare my body to go to 260 again". And so, this morning, I got my wish. I saw 261.4 and also 259.7 twice. I know I did not eat the 25,900 calories it would have taken to create that 261.4 number. This is water retention and I retain like nobody's business! So what's good about this? Well it's over. That's one thing. I've written down my food for the day and have eaten my breakfast while sitting down, mindfully and consciously. I have a NO CHOICE week ahead of me as my extra food choices have been accounted for so that actually makes things simple. I've planned in some exercise for the day. And I knew all along what I was doing poorly yesterday. I can no longer eat unconsciously like that. So what's driving me? I was feeling lonely. I have had a deep feeling of missing my grandmother the past few days. I was raised by her and she died 14 years ago and every once in a while I just deeply miss her. So that's there. I'm upset in advance for the work ahead of me. I was told I have to make sure I work my 10hours a week at my ceramic tech job at the school I attend so they don't decide that a tech is not needed. I average about 6 hrs a week now. Sometimes 10 hours is a lot to do with homework and a full course load. But I like the job and need the money and could use it so I'll just have to schedule it in, just like the food and exercise. And I guess it's time I call some family members and say hello. I saw my siblings and my mum over Christmas and we just don't call each other and I think I may need to say hi. Guess I am feeling lonely. Glad you guys are here
BillBlueEyes Good going on getting through the desire and out the other side by using Beck tools.
Quote:
I still have much room to build up my confidence that I'm on a journey for life, not just a temporary good thing.
I like these words. It makes me believe that my two day bingefest is but a blip. That certainly takes away a lot of its power as a "predictor" of my future success or lack thereof.
hbuchwald Great going on staying on plan for your dinner out! Sorry to hear you strayed while alone. I too struggle with the "food as celebration" and eating off plan as the ultimate act of "freedom". How fantastic you stopped and wrote it all down! I am going to do that this morning as best as I can remember. I think for me this is important because what I will also do is makes things worse than they are. Better to just deal with things as they stand, good or bad. Wishing you much success over the challenges coming to you the next few days!
Good morning and Happy Easter to those celebrating today!
I have really gotten so behind on my posts and had a great time since early this morning reading all of the ones I'd missed.
Amy… thanks so much for the support girl! Haven’t heard much from you lately. Sure hope you’re doing well!
Coastal Sue…My thoughts are with you. When you’re overwhelmed, stressed out, and exhausted, it’s so hard to find the energy to just get out of bed each day...much less struggle with food challenges. I’m wishing you rest, relaxation, and revitalization. Being a sea person, you know that tides will come and go, ebb and flow. Be kind to yourself in this low tide.
Barbara… It sounds like you’re finding a comfort zone and balance with your food plan and your Beck things, one that you’ll find livable. That is a commendable struggle. I also want to thank you for reminding me that just because it’s a holiday, it is NO CHOICE. I’m another who’s guilty of the before, during, and after “special occasion” eating plan. Yikes. One thing that I really need to work on is preplanning my food. I do use a journal every day and write down every bite, but am sometimes “surprised” at the end of the day, that I’ve gone over my allotted calories. It’s never by much, and some days I log in under, so I’ve never worried too much about pre-planning. But today for the Easter Feast, I did plan it out. And I’m sure I’ll use the NO CHOICE mantra more than once. Thanks! And I hope you have good luck at your potluck! <smile>
Onebyone…Sooooo you got some practice in. <smile> You learned first hand with your eyes wide upon, just what it is you’re up against when you hit the road, or have any reason to “let loose”. And each opportunity to practice can lead you to do better next time. I know those defeatist thoughts are such a downer. It’s good that you see them for what they are. Big deal on the WI. It’s the behavior that counts in the long haul and it’s clear that you’re practicing.
Before Beck, the only thing I ever practiced in those situations, was how to free-for-all and then start over “fresh”. (I loved that word, but really, there was nothing “fresh” about doing the same old stale things, thinking the same stale thoughts, and having the stale old outcomes I always had. I just didn’t know any better. The allure of food was so powerful, and my mind and actions worked in a partnership that allowed me to deceive myself… with the promise that “next time” I’d do it right, perfectly, and get thin.)
I was also a big believer in a “last hurrah” kind of eating binge... you know… that final indulgence (in my case BLAST) before the BIG diet that would finally get me thin. Oh yawn. Hadn’t I heard that the definition of insanity was doing the same things over and over yet expecting a different outcome.
Heidi...Thanks for your support and especially for your keen observation about me and the negative association I place on the word starvation. You gave me an Aha experience. I have been putting off that day. I know all too well from way too much past experience, just what “happens” to me after a period of “starvation”. Talk about the flood gates being thrown open. I am really scared of it, because right now I feel like I’m in a calm and stable eating zone. Just enough calories to lose weight very slowly, but not feel too hungry. Something I can live with.
It’s funny because I didn’t even think about it until I read BBE’s comments from a day or so ago mentioning my “starvation day”. Hmmm..interesting word choice. Thank you for such astute “food” for thought. <smile>
And how I so relate to the Tyranny of the Scale. I’ve lived in that unhappy kingdom for so long. At WW meetings, I would wear my thinnest clothing, made sure I visited the ladies room, wouldn’t even wear my watch or earrings!! LOL I remember one time joking with the woman weighing me that she’d have to do it quickly before I’d have to inhale again. So sick. I also remember how they’d pass out tiny little samples of new products they were offering. <g> Nobody in that WI line would try even one taste until AFTER they were done with the scale. Wow.
BillBE…Kudos for 0.0 <g> Easter candy in the house. Thank goodness my kids aren’t big on sharing it. (I’ve been known to rummage stealthily through Halloween bags and Easter baskets in my unholy past.) I also had a good laugh at your comments about touching the sacred chocolate stash. (You too Onebyone! <smile>) It reminds me there certainly are SOME advantages to being single. <wink>
Mez… Way to go on the “too big” Spring clothes!! That’s a great enforcement, isn’t it? Kudos. Looks like there’s a shopping trip in your near future. <smile>
Nessa… Woah! Dealing with a DH’s illness, pain, or discomfort was never an easy task in my home! Sending lots of healing energy to you both! Remember to take care of yourself as well as him!
Cammie… Tell me you’re wearing that outrageous Easter Bonnet in the parade today! <smile> It’s chilly in the city this morning. Whatever you’re doing… have a great time and a wonderful day.
Maryblu…have a great trip. You and your inspiring posts will be sorely missed!
Although the weather here at the Jersey shore is anything but Springlike right now... I'm sending you all Hyacinths, Tulips, and Daisies.
ladybugnessa – Weekends are a lot harder for me as well. Since it’s the time we spend as a family watching a movie. Which usually has its old set movie treats. I’m trying to balance mine to where I don’t feel I’m missing out. One a good note they do have so many healthy and low count stuff these day. I’ve seen a bracelet made out of dragonflys once and it was really cute.
CammieCam – Sending much luck.
onebyone – Sending many happy though your way. HUGZ
hbuchwald – Kudos for stopping and noticing that isn’t that good. I like when that happens because it takes another unhealthy item off my desire list. Your breakfast sound super yummy!! The question about dehydrated fruit is I’m not sure. LOL While I have eaten it. I just had Parents Choice(Wal-Mart Brand) & Gerber on hand and thought I can put sugar in my cream of wheat or I can put 100% fruit and get natural sugar plus different flavors. (which will help limit boredom) I’m sorry this isn’t more clear when I go to the market I’ll check. The “adult” dried fruit I have had seemed to taste like it contained more sugar. I’m out of the Gerber but here are the basic of the 3 Parents Choice I have on hand in the following fruits. Strawberry-Banana, Pineapple –Pear, and Peach-Blueberry all have 5 grams of sugar for a ¼ cup serving, 1 gram fiber and 25 calories. When I make my oatmeal or cream of wheat I don’t use ¼ cup I maybe use a 1 TBS. I just looking to add a bit of flavor. I’m trying to retrain my taste buds in to get use to slightly sweet foods.
BillBlueEyes – Kudos on showdown with your desire!! Makes me think of Matt Dillion from gunsmoke. Oh gosh just reread that and seen you wrote stand down. Will keep what I wrote because you did blast that desire away! My issue with not getting enough calories is a question I’ve been meaning to ask but I’m not sure if would sound dorky. So at the risk of sounding like a dork I’ll ask. Exactly how long does it take for the body to go into the mode of PANIC she/he isn’t eating enough I’ll just slow down the metabolism. Is it a day to day thing or does it take weeks, months? That day when I didn’t get enough calories I was thinking is my body eating my hard earned muscles are is waiting until tomorrow to see if I will eat right. When I said I was low in calorie I was super low. (523 calories eaten that day) I had worked out so that makes the calories I should have eaten a bit higher.
SeaChild – Thanks for the flowers. It really put a nice vision to start my day. Yes getting the new clothes was so nice! I was even able to fit into things on the “other side” of the store.
Yesterday I did 8 miles and plan on doing it once again today. I’ve yet to put my baskets together for my son and grandkids! I’ve never been this far behind. We are going to my sisters for dinner so I won’t have any leftovers tempting me. I’m also ready mentally for the food that will be there. I think I’ll pack myself some food just in case I don’t feel I can stop with what they are having. Ham shouldn’t be a problem since I’m not a huge fan of it. It’s the potato/pasta sides that will due me in.
thanks so much for all the support and positive thoughts, wishes and ideas-it all helped so much. I used it all to get back on a positive note. While I have had so many success in life there remain a deep core of self doubt and self criticism for this I have always used food for solace. When enough negative stuff happens this get tapped into. Seachild I love the sense of a waves-sometimes there is just a very very low tide in my life and the all the rocks get exposed. Overeating masks the sense of panic I have. Heidi-I finally began meditating on the feelings and after time could know this is all old stuff-from real decades ago but not my life now. Maryblu thanks for the compliments-came at good time and now again I am ready to do tough love for my body. BillBlueEyes-thanks for you support, insights and dedication for keeping this site together for all those "lean" months of few posters. Really needed this place. Mezmerize-love the music ideas-know the Doors well-also love the Eagles' song Get Over It. Hope you all are getting the idea that I appreciated everyone's input-onebyone, ladybugness, CammieCan(so glad you a back here again!!)Gahundy, BarbPos-If I miss a name it is due to a "senior" moment not a lack of appreciation.
Today's goal-1. To record everything I eat today. 2. Nothing after dinner(it is critical that I stop nightime overindulgencies) 3. Plan for tomarrow. 4. Start re-losing that damn 4lbs I regained.
Mezmerize-While I am cal counting I also been wondering what is optimum number of Cals I should be using-along with the porportions of protein,carbs right for me. I did the optifast things years ago at about 800 cals a day and regained it all and more- I guess that is the classic response of the body if the cals are too little. I have checked different web sites and the info always varies so. Share if you get more info on this.
Happy Easter/Spring to all-Wishes to all for a happy and healthy day. Why is candy such a part of this day?. Even the youngster I tutoring was upset with me because I did not bring her candy for the Easter. -The fruit drink, fresh cantalope, cheese and crackers was a boring snack-only candy was expected. So ingrain about candy and so young.
coastalsue - I like that song from the Eagles. Thanks think I've added a new one to my list! This whole cal thing is very confusting. Since I'm doing WW I have the points but I don't always make them. Somedays over some under. I've heard of the Wendy plan and have read it. I think I will give that a try when I stall.
Did 8 miles today. My grandkids are sick so they won't be stopping today so I'll tomorrow off also. Weigh in day is tomorrow. I've eaten way to many pickles hope that doesn't effect my weight in.
hi everyone! just time for a quick note before back to the grind (sunday night means folding laundry, cooking, and homework.)
figured out at least one of the reasons i was feeling so crappy - i'm sick. AGAIN. some kind of infection that's making my throat sore and a slight fever. i'm headed back to the doc tomorrow. i haven't worked out seriously in almost three weeks, and i fear my 1/2 marathon is in jeopardy. my kid also is back on antibiotics for his stuff, and he may need ear tubes. yipes!
the eating - well, i'm not on plan, but i'm not stuffing myself sick this week either, so that's an improvement. i seem to be holding steady at just a pound over my last "real" official weight. it could definitely be worse - but could also be better. it's so easy to revert when i feel like i'm not able to take proper care of myself. school has really been kicking my butt, and el nino has been super clingy and needy the past few days. i don't know if it's because he's also sick, or teething, or what, but i'm drained, drained, drained. so is DH, bless him. he tends to feel that he's failing me when he can't make everything better, which he can't, unless he suddenly turned into some kind of super antibiotic and a calorie-free deep dish pizza.
big hug out to everyone - especially those taking the time and care to write to folks individually. coastalsue, i'm right there with you, trying to dig myself out of the little ditch i've temporarily fallen into. billblueeyes, i'm so glad you're so amazingly conscientious about writing every morning. it seems so discipined and it's wonderful because i feel like no matter how scattered or crazy my days are, i can log in and know that you've written some insight and are there for all of us - even when i couldn't possibly repay the favor! don't have to worry about easter candy, fortunately. i'm a fellow member of the tribe with barb. and passover food is generally terrible. i've never in my life experienced a craving for gefilte fish, matzoh, or horseradish. at least we've got that going for us. nessa, i hope your DH feels better soon! and onebyone, good luck with demonstrating your indispensibleness. you'll wow 'em - no doubt!
i know i'm leaving out a number of good people - sorry sorry sorry! got to get back to the 800 things i need to do before i can go to bed and get another week started.
Last edited by kuhljeanie; 03-23-2008 at 09:12 PM.
Diet Coaches – Easter is over with not a single piece of Easter candy. Big relief as well as CREDIT moi. Although, realistically I still have to face the baskets that will be brought to work by those who find candy abundance easier to dump on colleges than in the trash. Facing a big meal yesterday I ate mostly vegetables plus some pasta. CREDIT moi. Went right past Whole Foods on my walk without dropping by for samples. CREDIT moi. Brushed my teeth three times, using a pea-sized dab of toothpaste per my dental hygienist's instructions. CREDIT moi, LOL.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for staying in there in true Sue style. You stay present with your situation with such dogged persistence; I do admire it and learn from it. Sending you supporting wishes for the start of the week.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Waving. Hope skiing went well and you're refreshed for your upcoming late night conferences.
Jean (kuhljeanie) - Ouch that you're ill and El Nino also. E-mailing hot chicken soup to you both; grandmothers were right. Kudos for recognizing that you're operating from the position of "drained, drained, drained." At least you can cut yourself some slack for your feelings even if you're having a hard time finding slack in your schedule for all your commitments. Kudos to your DH for being so supportive; great that you're not alone finding your path through this over busy time.
Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos for yet another 8 miles - you're rolling. I now understand your comments about low calorie intake. Sorry, I don't have the information about how long it takes for your body to slow down its metabolism due to food shortage. It's hard for me to believe it can happen in one day, but factual information must be out there on the web. < /font = Matt Dillion>
onebyone – Warmest sympathy for the loss of your grandmother - even though 14 years ago. It isn't strange to mourn a beloved parental person years later. Since you were young when you lost her, you might not have been old enough to appreciate the importance of the long process of grief. If it seems useful to you, is there someone you can talk to who can help you work through the grief? (E.g., My church has a bereavement group where people help each other through the process; some participants are working through loses of many many years ago.) Just a thought. It sounds like you're doing a really good job of moving forward through a demanding time in your life.
Kudos to you for so candidly examining your feelings and thinking that affect your eating and exercising. I wish you well as you work to focus on staying on your journey. As you do so, of course, your body can figure out on its own how to beat the scale number down.
Ellen (SeaChild) - LOL at your insight in, free-for-all and then start over "fresh." Indeed! "Fresh" is such a misuse of the word here, diminutizing the lewd behavior of pigging out as if it contributes to the noble behavior the next day that will make it all better. We are so skilled at using language to support our thinking errors.
Kudos for avoiding the Easter candy, and congrats for raising kids who "aren’t big on sharing it," LOL.
Readers – “… You’ll not only overcome your current problems, but also learn how to use your new skills to overcome future problems.” Beck, pg 21.
Well inspite of my belief I was up on the scale for good, I am down 6lbs from the high of yesterday's weighin. Water water water. What did I do to shed the water? I am, once again, reminded that my body functions without my conscious help. I need only do what I have decided to do: follow a plan of eating and a plan of behaviour around food. My body works really hard on everything else. I am so grateful to have a healthy, functioning body. Today's challenge is not a big issue for me. I rarely drink. So that frees up plenty of thinking time today for practicing the behaviours that aren't so easy for me: eating slowly and consciously at the table. I've migrated back to the couch again. Part of it is an overly cluttered and needing-to-be-cleaned-again kitchen. I was trying to think of ways to make the kitchen a nice room, a room I'd like to sit in. For someone who spends her life making pretty pictures I can't decorate the space around me. I am 3D challenged. Guess I'll leaf through some magazines and see if something pops out at me that I would like to adapt to my small square kitchen... maybe I need to paint the walls? Hmmm.
I just wanted to give myself credit for walking in place for 5 minutes at 11pm last night. I was already in bed and had circled the exercise sentence in the Beck To DO list for the day and I thought "I can do 5 minutes of exercise. Just walk in place." So I stood up, tried to find the least squeaky part of the wooden floor (not easy!) and did it. And then i got back into bed and checked that box off.
SeaChild Good Morning. It's not springlike here either. It was -14C this morning. I can feel the cold creeping along the floor. Poor KittyX is so frustrated! She cannot go out yet even though the days look like Spring with the bright warm sun. The air is still frigid. And the snow isn't melting and we have a lot of snow. It'll be melting into May.... As for practicing Beck while away, you know what I remembered this morning? It's easier to stay on plan than get on plan. This is how it works for me anyway. I think I'll write this on a card for myself. Even if I just keep a corner of my program going, whether it's an exercise session, or eating sitting down, so long as I don't throw it all away I am all right. It's like I tread water until I get my footing again and then I move forward. I need to remember that.
mezmerize I hope your dinner yesterday went well and that you enjoyed yourself. Again, congrats on the 8 mile workout. I can feel you striving to reach and surpass your next goal! Keep on trucking
Good luck to you for your weighin today.
coastalsue You sound like you're ready to move forward again. I sometimes get frustrated with myself for not always moving steadily forward in spite of anything/everything around me. In reality, I have always had to withdraw and circle back again. I too have rocks beneath my waves. It makes it more difficult to navigate at times but not impossible. After all, we've got a chart to follow and many supporters on shore, (or in little shiny colourful boats) all around us! I wave to you from my lime green surfboard
kuhljeanie Here are some flowers to help you feel better. Sorry you're feeling low. I hope the doc helps you out today. Just hang in there with us and take care of yourself and el nino! Thanks for posting.
BillBlueEyes I had to laugh at this
Quote:
I still have to face the baskets that will be brought to work by those who find candy abundance easier to dump on colleges than in the trash
Indeed. I fear I fell victim to exactly that pre-Wayne Newton at the reception desk where those entrancing foiled eggs lived in an innocent ceramic bowl just waiting for someone to take them home... DON'T DO IT! Of course, I don't think you will. You seem to have Ms. Beck's program firmly in your back pocket. I hope that will be me sooner rather than later. I do want to stay the course.
I love your reference to a theme song..I actually read about that idea somewhere… that having a theme song to refer to in our heads can help. I often sing “take it easy on yourself….”…putting those songs on my ipod and taking a walk around the block could just get me back into my right mind….
Easter Sunday
And so, this morning, I got my wish. I saw 261.4 and also 259.7 twice. I know I did not eat the 25,900 calories it would have taken to create that 261.4 number. This is water retention and I retain like nobody's business! So what's good about this? Well it's over. That's one thing. I've written down my food for the day and have eaten my breakfast while sitting down, mindfully and consciously. I have a NO CHOICE week ahead of me as my extra food choices have been accounted for so that actually makes things simple. I've planned in some exercise for the day. And I knew all along what I was doing poorly yesterday. I can no longer eat unconsciously like that. So what's driving me? I was feeling lonely. I have had a deep feeling of missing my grandmother the past few days. I was raised by her and she died 14 years ago and every once in a while I just deeply miss her. So that's there. I'm upset in advance for the work ahead of me. I was told I have to make sure I work my 10hours a week at my ceramic tech job at the school I attend so they don't decide that a tech is not needed. I average about 6 hrs a week now. Sometimes 10 hours is a lot to do with homework and a full course load. But I like the job and need the money and could use it so I'll just have to schedule it in, just like the food and exercise. And I guess it's time I call some family members and say hello. I saw my siblings and my mum over Christmas and we just don't call each other and I think I may need to say hi. Guess I am feeling lonely. Glad you guys are here
nessa, i hope your DH feels better soon! and onebyone, good luck with demonstrating your indispensibleness. you'll wow 'em - no doubt!
I am, once again, reminded that my body functions without my conscious help. I need only do what I have decided to do: follow a plan of eating and a plan of behaviour around food. My body works really hard on everything else. I am so grateful to have a healthy, functioning body. Today's challenge is not a big issue for me. I rarely drink. So that frees up plenty of thinking time today for practicing the behaviours that aren't so easy for me: eating slowly and consciously at the table. I've migrated back to the couch again. Part of it is an overly cluttered and needing-to-be-cleaned-again kitchen. I was trying to think of ways to make the kitchen a nice room, a room I'd like to sit in. For someone who spends her life making pretty pictures I can't decorate the space around me. I am 3D challenged. Guess I'll leaf through some magazines and see if something pops out at me that I would like to adapt to my small square kitchen... maybe I need to paint the walls? Hmmm.
flowers to help you feel better. Sorry you're feeling low. I hope the doc helps you out today. Just hang in there with us and take care of yourself and el nino! Thanks for posting.
