Its been a little slower than normal in here today!
I seem to be having a difficult time sticking to a clean diet lately. I didn't veer off course, but I want to so badly. I will spare you all the details but I was definitely getting some cravings today.
I do this weird thing sometimes where I bargain with myself and set these weird 'what if?' situations up in my mind. For example, I'll get some super strong craving for something that I don't LOGICALLY want to eat, and so I'll play a little game; "If my husband texts me in the next 4 minutes, I'll go drive to (wherever) and get (whatever the food is)". I was totally doing that today! The funny thing is, the first time was like "Okay, if he texts by the time I get to the end of this street..." and he DID but I didn't hear the chime right away so I told myself it didn't count. I then continued to play that little game all the way home. If one of my little rules had been met a second time I would have been in trouble... I used up all my willpower with that first one!
Anyway, yes... it's weird.
BUT I stuck OP and I'm feeling fine now. I just seem to have these trigger/weakness hours in the afternoon and if I don't give in I'm okay. I'm fine once I get home. Its almost as if being at my desk at work is a trigger? God that's not good! LOL
As I've mentioned I'm doing a calorie cycle 2 days a week using the Rapid Fat Loss principals, and those two days are going to be Thursdays and Fridays. I'm basically just doing it as a way to accelerate fat loss without sacrificing muscle mass. Anyway, tomorrow is Thursday so I'll be doing that whole deal. I'm also going to be sitting through a briefing all day, and Friday is fairly busy, so I should be distracted enough to stay OP.
Kakers - LOL, Congrats on TOM! I hope it helps with the sticking scale so that you can get the motivation you need to continue. I'm the same way; not seeing results (or seeing a gain) doesn't make me work harder like it does for some people... it does the opposite!
Masterptr - Do you walk with a destination in mind on these monster hikes of yours, or do you just go out and walk til you feel like you're done?
Mottainai - I actually think my husband and I will adjust to living together very well. We already 'live' together when we visit, so we know how the other one organizes, cleans, cooks, decorates, etc. He's super laid back too, so I don't forsee any issues. He'll let me do what I want.
I'm glad to see you've been doing well the past few days! I am just hoping forward momentum will kick in for me soon. It's been rough for me lately! I know it's stress and it seems like more and more things keep piling on. My 'cure' the other day was to shop, but now I see how much I spent and that's stressful too! hahaha
LockItUp - LOL, thank you for the hugs... I'll take them! I need some hugs I think. Yesterday I had a very depressing realization hit me; between visits with my husband every 5-6 weeks, I have almost ZERO human contact with anyone. None. I don't hug, cuddle, kiss, spoon or embrace anyone and I don't even have my cat anymore! The only time another person touches me is once every two weeks or so when I get a massage. Maybe I need that.
I'm sorry you were so sore! LOL that will definitely happen when starting a new program or even just doing a different workout as you know. It should pass soon. Maybe a nice hot bath and some epsom salts?
Bayzee - For the couple of days per week that I will do RFL, I'm doing it exactly as written to include the fish oil. I can't call the program RFL because only doing it for 2 days is totally raping Lyle McDonald's program, but I'll say he inspired it. Maybe that's less offensive to him! haha
I will not be doing any 'free meals' or refeeds, just going back to my standard diet; moderate deficit, approximately 40P/30C/30F macronutrient split (give or take) for the other 5 days of the week. Essentially I'm just doing two days of low carb/fat/calorie to accelerate fat loss for a few weeks. I don't plan on doing it for the long term.
Turbo - EEk, I'm sorry you're in a bit of a rough patch with your BF. Big changes like that are apt to shift the dynamic in your relationship a bit, so it's understandable that there would be an adjustment period. It's probably a good idea just to keep those lines of communication open so that things don't start to fester... know what I mean?
So freaking busy my head is spinning! It probably won't stop until mid-November. Augh! Horrible, horrible 10 of 10 migraine yesterday. Hated life, accomplished nothing and ate about 2300 calories. Pretty bad. Today was much better and I've been all over today with a field trip, doctors appointment, setting up my coop again (I got my chickens back!), making 36 Halloween goodie bags, homework for both kiddos (my youngest read his first mini book!), went ot ToysRUs to pick out a prize for completing a chart, picked out a huge pumpkin with the kids at a locals patch, quick dinner out and then soccer practice, which my hubby had to take over since the coach was out of town! Add in cleaning, cooking and an extra puppy this week, since it's new family had previous vacation plans when they bought her, so we offered to let sit! And....more costume work for this Saturday's race. Holy sheesh....was that all today?? Whoa. 1395 cals so far today. Debating whether I want to eat a yogurt or call it good, since I sucked so badly yesterday.
Joss- I am majorly struggling this week. I frequently get coffee out of the house, but usually not food. I've eaten crap out everyday this week. Today twice!! I've fit it in for the most part, but it totally doesn't fill me up and the sugar makes me feel like crap. Hold strong...you know it will make you feel like poo!
Turbo- sending awesome 10K vibes your way, too, this weekend!! And you seriously sound like a chef. I can't believe you eat so creatively every night! Spaghetti feels like a tremendous accomplishment lately!
Krampus- ooooh..the too-busy-to-eat diet! Lol I was on that today! How is your crazy week? Is this the last of the rush, or does it not end until next week?
Hi to everyone! I promise ot catch up better soon!
Oh! And I forgot! LockItUp Howl-O-Scream is the halloween themed stuff at the amusement park, so most of the rides are still open but only partially lit and they have different areas of the amusement park with different scary things going on, scary clowns, warewolfs, people with chain saws. They had like a bridge covered in spider webs and fake spiders and one lit up in flashes underneath with scary sounds like monsters were being brought to life. They also have a few different haunted house type areas, though we only hit up one, the lines were so long, but the one we went in was fun. If you google Howl-O-Scream Catacombs you can find a video of it.
I'm alive! The conference went well, people were happy, feels like I miscarried a much-anticipated pregnancy or something in the sense that now I don't know what to do that I don't have to run around doing 2000 things at once for the conference.
I have drunk alcohol every day this week and have plans that will involve being with other people drinking tonight, tomorrow and the night after that. I have been shitting my brains out and eating weirdly yesterday and today I still feel a little tender but I managed to get in a 40 minute weights workout before work today.
ChickieChicks feel better soon You've been so busy, I don't know how you manage to do all that. I'm glad you got the chickens back!
JossFit Being stuck at a desk must be a huge trigger for everyone with slow office jobs because that's who's humongously fat/struggling with wanting to eat to fill time.
TurboMammoth Those baked goods sound delicious. I'll be battling Turkey Hill Pumpkin Pie flavored ice cream through next week (if I don't eat it all before then, haha). I hope your 10K will go well - yay for feeling awesome and having a flatter tummy!
kakers Glad TOM came - holding steady is better than gaining but it is really frustrating when you want instant results...
masterptr Those are some epic walks. I wish I could walk/exercise all day...being at work 9-5 is stupid, you miss all the daylight!
mottainai If you keep doing what you're doing complacency in progress is a good thing, no? I'm really happy to hear you're in a healthier place mentally.
LockItUp How's it going with not weighing daily? I hope you're continuing to feel sane and healthy and functional without guilt.
Bayzee If that's your worst eating day in 2 weeks, your diet is pretty clean! Conferences with awful food choices are the worst. I just finished ours and made out ok with cheese/fruit, eggs/bacon and chicken/veggies/salad..........and chocolate cake
LeilaJey How was the wax? Wine beast gets us all...beer beast and weedbeast too......
Krampus: I weighed today, DOH! It's hard! Glad your conference went well!!!
Kakers: That sounds so fun!!! And re: the 150s, I'm really hoping to kick them in November, isn't looking so good for October!
Chickie: Dang woman you ARE busy! Holy cow!
Joss: That's kinda sad about the human contact! Maybe you should just go up to strangers and hug them! And is it weird that your bargaining thing sounds LOGICAL to me!? I know your RFL is today and tomorrow! Good luck!!!
Turbo: The lifting is going very well. So so so so so sore though! I ALWAYS regret taking time off from it because the soreness always gets like this when I do. Those muffins sound great!!!
Masterptr: WOW, well it's good you keep busy though! Doing something good for yourself too!
Mottainai: Really sounds like you are doing GREAT!
*****
Well I've already confessed all over the place that I weighed today against my original plan of trying to wait until the last day of the month or at LEAST Monday. I'm disappointed in myself, but was happy to see my weight was back down to 153.8! I guess it's a process.
A quick drop-in update for me, as I've got a busy day today!
I'm really not feeling very great....I'm pretty tired and stressed about an exam I have today, don't want to study, don't want to work, blah. And I have to stay on campus like all day, because I got here early to workout before my class and my exam isn't ending until nearly 7 I guess. I would love to binge so bad, if only I actually didn't want to, if that makes sense. Rather, I guess, I would love the effects that binging brings, but anyway, I'm just gonna have to tough it out, because I only brought $4 with me and spent nearly $3 on gum already as a nice treat to get me through the day!
I'll do personals later. Hope everyone is well! You guys are such awesome support, really.
JossFit,
I do print a map and mark my distance before heading out.
packed with water and food.
sometimes, I get lost and that could add a couple more miles but always,
carry enough water and food. also flash light and cell phone etc.
Good morning TurboMammoth,
Hi Krampus,
Hello LockItUp,
I had a friend named PMS encouraged me to consume 3800 calories yesterday. She is still here but we are trying to negotiate so that I do a little less today.
so far, 8 miles today.
plan on doing at least 4 more easy miles today.
Joss : The boyfriend and I ended talking about the issues going on... I think, as you and LockItUp suggested, it was better sorting this out before and go bad crap crazy on him because he forgot to throw away his oatmeal envelop
YAY for staying on points! That was definetly some triggering game you were playing with yourself How was your day today? If I understoof correctly, you were doing a RFL thing today, no? Hope everything went well!
Chickie : So so so sorry to read about your migraine You are SOME BUSY MAMA! I don't understand how you find enough time in a day to do SO MUCH. ... and we eat so ''creatively'', as you said, because I have nothing better to do all day Between that and complaining about my life, I choose that (I still complain a bit though LOL)
krampus : yay for you being alive, and the conference over! And god that ice creams sounds delllliiiiicious. Gread job on scoring some working out time even if you were feeling weird.
lockitup : I'm happy for you that your lifting is doing great! And not weighing is HARD. I always tell myself I'm gonna stop doing it, and I never do.
Mottaini : Not having money on you is probably the more efficient way to deal with it LOL Love it! Hope your exams will be okay! You'll rock that!
masterptr : nice mileage, as always!
***
Hello Feathers!
I saw a rep job posted today in the area I live in, which would be perfect so I would not have to move, except that I always told myself I would never be a rep, plus I highly doubt I'd be good ad it. Still arguing with myself if I'm sending my resume or not.
This morning was a big deep frying morning. I cooked a recipe's from my mom called ''pizzarolls'', being actually pizza stuffing in a eggroll pasta, and you deep fry it. I usually try to stay away from all the deep fry stuff... But i was chatting with my brother a few weeks away and he told me he still have some pizza rolls (and some other stuff) in his freezer that our mom cooked for us before she passed away (a bit more than 2 years ago)... He's not eating it because, well, when they are gone, they are gone, I guess it's some kind of a way to hold on to mom's memory or something like that. So I decided to try and cook some for the first time, and if they turn out good, I'll cook a big recipe that I'll bring down at Christmas. I haven't tasted them yet, but they look good!
I was planning to bake a cake this afternoon, a new recipe I need to test before my cousin baby shower next week, but I had forgotten to start the auto clean in the over this morning. So no baking plus it smells like crap right now in the place. YAY.
Someone was not unhappy that I wasn't able to bake this afternoon, though
Turbo- Complain away! When you have a skill set and the motivation to do the work...not HAVING work to do is maddening!!! Your fur baby is adorable. We used to have an orange tabby named, "Hazelnut". I am truly a cat person, but hubby is allergic. (Or so he claims...lol.) There is a product in the US called "pizza rolls". Probaly not really made from pizza or rolls...frozen junk. It was an Italian kind of day! I made homemade pizza, which my kids love. I make one with marinara, cheese and turkey pepperoni for them. "Mine" (since i eat the whole dang thing over several days...bad) has light alredo sauce, tons of spinach, garlic, grape tomatoes, a little bit of mozzarella and turkey pepperoni. I had five slices tonight...yikes!
Kakers- Since we live in the same area, its funny to read your comments about local events! I like Busch Gardens well enough, but I can never, EVER go to Halloscream. EVER!!!!!! I can't even listen or see scary movie trailers. It gives me the heeby-jeebies just thinking about it! Glad you had fun!
Krampus- And.....scene. You're done! It does feel a bit odd and deflated when you get done with such a big event. Are you doing anything special to relax, or do you really want to get some more energy out? I get hyped up and need to exercise it out.
Maesterpt- LOLOL I kept reading and re-reading the line bout your friend PMS. I thought you were saying someone's name by her initials. And then i was trying to figure out why she would want you to eat 3800, but it makes sense because you workout so long and hard! And that got me thinking about just how many calories your must be burning and that you really could eat wuite a bit with that activity level. Sooo..then I figured out you really meant PMS. ha ha ha. My brain is so defunct since having children...
LockItUp- Your weight is going back down! woo hoo! Maybe you just aren't the kind of person who willbe happy weighing once a month, etc. I weigh about every 2-3 days, but only because i am super anal, and if i can't weigh absolutely first thing in the morning, I won't do it. And most mornings I roll out of bed to find kids staring at me like Children of the Corn wanting breakfast.
Mottanai- How was today after all? Did you suppress the urge? I know you have said it is extra hard for you when you have to be at school all day! What are you getting your degree in? how much longer?
Just a regular busy day here. A random Target trip resulted in me buying a new curling iron for the first time in like 10 years. I always wanted to try the waving ones. My hair is naturally wavy, but NOT CUTE. It's like all over the place half-wavy, half-straight, blah. So I tried it out and it might be my new look for awhile!
Tomorrow I'm getting my hair highlighted, another round of laser treatments (ugh) and picking up my race packet for the run on Saturday. It is now supposed to rain the whole time. So not only will I be running a 10K in freaking lingerie (sort of), but it will be raining! Blah!
Chickie- Thanks for the encouragement! I made it through the day all right. I'm currently studying for a second degree in computer science. I already got a bachelor's in chemistry, but I'm doing another just for immigration purposes now, lol. Your hair is ADORABLE! I love that picture, you're very pretty! Good luck on your 10k!
Turbo- Cute kitty! The pizzarolls sound good....fried food tends to really upset my stomach bad though, unfortuntely. Sounds like you're really quite the chef!!
Lockitup- It's OK you ended up weighing, that's such a hard habit to break! I still haven't done it, though I've been tempted. Glad it was a low weigh though anyway!
Krampus- I'm so glad to hear that you are alive and that the conference went off well! Will you be less busy in the coming days?
Jossfit- I play that game too, haha. Sounds like you've got a good plan there!
-----------------------
I'm taking my exam in like 15 minutes and I am SO unprepared. I studied what I could, but I'm pretty sure I'll fail. Not letting it get to me though! There's always next semester, in the worst case scenario.
But I was not a failure in many other ways today! No binging, even after I acquired some money during the day. Wow, who knew I could survive all this stress without a binge?? I feel like I didn't believe I could do it, but now I've got proof to hit myself with next time I'm tempted to binge away anxiety.
I did end up eating a lot of empty calories.....gum, hard candies, flavored drinks. All those little things that should have pretty much no effect, until you eat them all day enough that you feel you have to go back and add it all up! Feels so not healthy. But I'm very committed to being compassionate to my anxiety-ridden self and not letting myself worry about it, not when compared to a possible multi-thousand calorie binge!
Excited that tomorrow's Friday and I'll have a whole week down. (:
TurboMammoth -- very nice looking cat. looks very comfortable.
ChickieChicks -- lovely person you are and you hair is gorgeous.
mottainai -- good luck with the exam. one of my hubby's degrees is chemistry.
Hi everyone! QUICK drive-by here. I was out until 2:30 last night dancing at "Therapy Thursday" at the local gay bar, slept until 10:30 this morning, feel like a zombie/the walking dead, going for noodles and Halloween costume shopping momentarily. 124.4 this morning. Did not overeat yesterday.
Happy Friday!...I'm also doing a quick drive by. Congrats to all of the people who are making progress! Keep up the great work!
I have a sinus infection that has really played havoc on my workouts. However, I managed to get in 3 out of 4 in this week. Eating has been ok...still sticking to 1000-1200 calories and TRYING to stay under 50 carbs a day. I thought I did fairly well this week, but only officially/consistently lost 0.5 lbs. Not happy about that, but I don't feel as bloated. Plus...I know tonight I will be drinking some wine...so I am committed to drinking at least a glass less than usual. Taking out wine on Fridays is impossible, so cutting down is the only realistic thing Baby steps! LOL
I am trying the RFL for 2 days...Sunday and Monday. I guess it's not REALLY RFL since I'm only cycling it, but I'll see how it goes. It's NOT going to be easy for me, as I am already having trouble staying at 50g of carbs each day. But I think I should try it right after the weekend when I feel the most guilty!
Chickie : Hazelnut! What a cute name This little boy is name Sammy. He was name Sassy at first, like Sassy from the Homeward Bound movie, you know... And than we discovered the cat was a male. BOOM! Ahaha. Good luck for your race tomorrow!! What are you disguising like? With you're running in underdwear, plus weren't you running with a fake beer mug!? I LOVE your hair! The waves look very natural!
Mottaini : Hope your exam was okay Plus no binge, awesome! Get some rest and time for youself during your week off!
masterptr : I don't know if the cat is more comfy or if I am comfy to HIM
krampus : Therapy Thursday sound, huh, awesome!?? What did you pick up for your Halloween costume?
Bayzee : Cutting booze on the weekend is HARD, I get you on that! Good luck on the RFL plan.
***
Today was not good, not bad. Okay, well, it was bad : I baked a cake as a test for a future baby shower and even if I went to my boyfriend job so they can taste and comment, 1/4 of the cake came back home and I ate some of it (well, I needed to test too..!).
Plus the boyfriend wanted to eat take out roasted chicken for WEEKS and tonight was THE night. It was good though, and I'm gonna be good for that kind of meal for a while (I wasn't even craving it). It was pretty salty though, so I have to prepare to the water retention numbers on the scale for the next days.
On the GOOD PARTS, it was extremely hot for the season today. And bright. And sunny. So we went to run around the lake at the end of the afternoon and it was sooo pretty We managed to get 7 km in which is the longest I ran since.. more than a month. I know I won't kill everything at my race Sunday but at least I know I'm gonna be able to run through it all. I don't want to push it too much, I'm still feeling a light something on the foot. And there's always 2013 for my sub 1 hour 10k goal
I'm back! I had a mostly great time away, it was a mix of business and pleasure. I hit 134.8 but now I'm back to 138 this morning.. I ate a lot yesterday. I had to do a long drive by myself and I just totally wasn't in the mood and I hate a lot of chocolate to keep me going. I had a bad headache early on and even though the pain killers helped a lot I never felt quite right. Traffic was bad everywhere and blah.. No more excuses today it's lovely and sunny so I'm going to get a workout in after this!
Also my eyebrow wax worked out in the end, after I posted the other day I woke up with some little pimples even though I didn't touch my face or anything but I used witchhazel and tea tree and they cleared up super fast.
I really hope it doesn't take a week to get this water weight off. I was so happy to see 134.. why do I keep doing this to myself?
chickie haha! re: the twin thing - totally.. I swear you'd love it over here. Sarcastic humour is big! Also my search history is similar. I make sure to delete it in case anybody is using my computer and a gross collection of symptoms might pop up. Um, yeah
Hot mama! Love your hair, does it take long to do? Also 10K in lingerie?!
Turbo I'm sorry you lost your mother so young, that's tough. Making delicious pizza rolls in her memory is awesome though, I'm sure your brother will love it too!
Did you apply for that job?
Bayzee How are your energy levels doing with the low calories? Also maybe you could try a smaller wine glass? Sometimes tricking yourself is the best bet. I use a slightly smaller plate than I used to use.
Have a nice weekend!
krampus heh gay bars are so much fun! I'm so glad for you that the conference went well, that must be a relief.. Never thought I'd say 'enjoy shitting your brains out!' but there it is.
Also the weedbeast is the worst. Stupid logic of 'ohh it's calorie free'
LockItUp I know how hard it is not to weigh. I was planning on not weighing today as I knew it would be upsetting but I couldn't do it.. agh. Baby steps!
mottainai I hope the exam went ok! Not binging is certainly a victory, especially under the circumstances.. so well done on that
Joss It's funny because I've definitely done that too with the weird little 'what if' game.. I guess it's just us trying to shrug off the responsibility of making the decision to eat something bad. It's not that we binged or chose to eat something we did it because xyz happened. People are weird! Hope your cravings are settling down. Hugs!
I hope it helps with the sticking scale so that you can get the motivation you need to continue. I'm the same way; not seeing results (or seeing a gain) doesn't make me work harder like it does for some people... it does the opposite! 
Pretty bad. Today was much better and I've been all over today with a field trip, doctors appointment, setting up my coop again (I got my chickens back!), making 36 Halloween goodie bags, homework for both kiddos (my youngest read his first mini book!), went ot ToysRUs to pick out a prize for completing a chart, picked out a huge pumpkin with the kids at a locals patch, quick dinner out and then soccer practice, which my hubby had to take over since the coach was out of town! Add in cleaning, cooking and an extra puppy this week, since it's new family had previous vacation plans when they bought her, so we offered to let sit! And....more costume work for this Saturday's race. Holy sheesh....was that all today?? Whoa. 1395 cals so far today. Debating whether I want to eat a yogurt or call it good, since I sucked so badly yesterday. 
