mamakat I feel the same way. I hit Onederland before once and then lost it pretty fast I want to be back so much but I am so scared too. I think right now it feels so so far away like I will never reach it.
BBB I found out my thyroid is out of whack and may be the cause of weight gain and depression, but like you as the weight came on, I ate to soothe myself. I held 185 for a year, so I truly believed I wouldn't go back...I can so relate to You Shall Not Pass...and even as I was passing, I was cocky enough to say, I'll lose it. Only when your thyroid is out of whack, you are depressed and lethargic, it's really hard to get back on the bike. I feel you on not wanting to see doctors after the weight gain...had the same problem with Gyno...the Endo was very understanding and helpful, though.
I'm still struggling, daily...I want to carb out so bad. I know the first two weeks are the hardest to get through and I'm almost through week one...but the struggle to just want to give up is still strong with me. I've already PASSED so the damage is done (mindset, not reality). And exercise is a PITA. I can't wait till the thyroid medication starts working so that I'm not huffing and puffing and fatigued all the time.
I think I hate that we gain a lot faster than we lose...it doesn't seem fair, especially when you put your heart into it (not too mention body). I hate having limitations and like BBB said, I just want to be back to where I was and feel comfortable in my skin. You know, with the (relatively) small gain (35) I've had, it's shut me down completely. At 185, I felt like I was rocking my short frame...I wore clothes with confidence and I held my head up and faced people eye-to-eye. Now, I'm back in my house. I wear baggy shirts and squeeze into pants (the fat ones that I had to run out and buy since I threw out all my old clothes). I haven't spoken to another human being, aside from one friend (occasionally) in months. I've lost all my confidence and I feel like an alien in this body.
Oddly enough, when I first starting losing weight, I had the same feelings. Who is this person? Losing weight (and gaining it back) is a hard roller coaster to ride. The ups and downs of emotions can sometimes be extremely overwhelming. I think depression is one level higher than resignation...I'd rather be depressed then give up completely. So, it's a ride I'm stuck on...at least I haven't been banned for life, or I haven't fallen off forever.
Here's to dusting off, and getting back on that bike.
The depression wasn't something I was thinking about when I went off my meds... couple that with the SAD that I have and it was DISASTROUS!
So sorry you are going through the same thing. But... it will get better - one day at a time. I'm three months in now and the difference is night and day in my head. You'll get there too.
I'm three months in to my recent journey. I went from 196-165 2.5 years ago while my husband was in Afghanistan. Since he got home and we got married Ive have an absolute nightmare of a boss, and I learned yet again that I soothe myself with food. The more I ate the worse it got, and I went from 165 to 220. I started feeling completely awful at around 203 (which I am finally back down to now) and then gained another 17 before I finally decided to take it seriously. So kudos to you for restarting now, and not continuing your old habits like I did. I think about how easy it would have been to maintain 165 (where I was feeling great and looking good) rather than ignore the weight gain for so long, what was I thinking! I wish it was as easy to take weight off as to put it on, but alas, it's hard work, but very possible. This time I'm approaching it as a lifestyle change, not a diet. Last time I did nutrisystem to lose the weight, and, well, when I went back to eating how I used to, it all came back! If I had worked on a maintenance diet, maybe I would have lost slower, but been able to keep it off. In any case, congrats on re-starting your journey!
In other news, my scale is officially being replaced by a new model. Yesterday it said 199, and today it says 203.4 again (back down to my low weight from 2 weeks ago... good, but also frustrating because I should be down to 199 by now because Ive been OP!) So now my ticker is correct again, but it's frustrating because I feel like I'm back where I started. However, by size 16 capri's fit, which is definitely nice. My size 18 capris have been way too big for about a month, but I wasn't small enough for the 16's yet. They are a little snug, but not too tight to wear out and about (and I know they will stretch out a bit!)
Hi all, I'd like to join the thread. I've focused on the 200 mark for some time now and sometimes pop in here to read.
I'm not sure when I first got past 200, it was sneaky! When I first realized I'd gotten "big" and weighed myself, I was 224. I quickly lost 10 pounds (with calorie counting) but lost interest/didn't plan for the long term. I blinked, and I was up to 237! My body felt awful. That was about a year and a half ago. It was pretty easy to get back down to 224 (I had to consume a lot to maintain that 237). I slowly started to incorporate changes into my diet-- more veggies, fruit, cooking "real" food at home rather than eating out. I got a pedometer last year and had fun tracking my steps. I've picked up steam the last couple months, adjusting my portion sizes (to normal ones!) and making sure I'm eating healthful food every day. I'm discovering what REALLY works for me (smoothies when I don't want to cook, fish and salad for a filling meal, healthy meals for friends, water water water, etc). Through it all, that 200 number has been on my mind. It's a doozy. I'll feel great once I get past it. For goals, my plan is to get to 185, safely out of obesity and then continue down. Realistically, I see myself at 175. But we'll see! I'm upping my steps to 12,000 a day next week and have been hiking. I have big hiking plans for the future and have even considered starting running a bit so as I get more active...who knows
Anyway, I didn't mean to write quite so much but it feels good to get it out! I appreciate everything you all have shared here, it's a great help. Best to everyone.
I haven't posted in a few days but I've been OP. The scale is at 216.4, . I'm hoping to see a drop soon.
It's encouraging to see everyone hanging in there.
Claygirl ~ hang in there and you'll see 199 soon. I know what you mean about eating too soothe yourself. That's exactly what happened to me this past year. My job was very stressful and food became my coping mechanism. I finally got control 5 weeks ago and I feel so much better.
Berry ~ congrats on your loss.
Mamakat ~ I hope things are getting better for you
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I've been at 208 the last couple days but am expecting a drop soon, possibly tomorrow. I was a little nervous about tomorrow because I'm meeting some friends for a concert in the park-- it's easy to go overboard at these things! One friend recently joined Weight Watchers so it was easy to say, hey let's make this healthy! I found I was also nervous about the 4th-- I hosted a couple people and again said, hey do you mind if we make it healthy? I grilled salmon, tons of veggies, had salad, fresh fruit. And we all felt fantastic afterwards. It can be done, I'm learning.
Today was good. I ate well and got more than my 12,000 steps. I went for a long walk after work just to be sure I'd get my steps in so pretty tired at the moment. I'm looking forward to a healthy, fun day tomorrow. And possibly 207!
Hello all. Very frustrated here. Back up to 204.8 yesterday, and I'm now 205.6 today. I feel like I can't do anything right. I have been OP and working out 30 mins a day (interval) on the elliptical and not eating back more than 100 cals from the workout. My goal is 1350 cals a day. MFP says the workout is 415 cals (which I don't trust completely so I dont eat it back) So I've been hovering around 800-900 net cals a day on MFP with my workouts. I"m just incredibly frustrated watching everyone else lose and I'm creeping up and up doing all the right things! I should have been in onederland by now from where I was a month ago. This whole month I've gained and have pretty much been stagnant from where I was June 1st. And now its getting into July and I"m still the same. I'm still doing the same things but It's hard to keep going when I'm gaining weight from it and my smaller pants still don't fit right!
Anyone else having this problem? I would feel better if I could see that I'm still losing fat even if the scale isn't moving (Measurements, clothes fitting better, etc) but right now that isn't the case. How did you get out of it and start losing (from anything!) again?
Hey all, It's been a while since I was able to post here, but I've been trying to keep up with the reading at any rate.
Sounds like a lot of us dealing with a bit of the summer slump when there's so much going and it's hard to stay on plan.
I'm happy today though because I'm down to 208.8, which is a new low for me after a somewhat depressing jump up for a bit. I'm especially thrilled because after a week of less than stellar eating and the weekend where I really indulged, I was able to put the wheels back on my trolley and am doing quite good this week (and enjoying it, too - this isn't like me "cracking down" on myself).
Scout83 - Congrats on making it through the 4th and I'm sure you'll do good at the concert. It's nice to have someone else in the group who has the same healthy eating goals as you.
Claygirl - Try not to get too frustrated with the scale bouncing around. It happens even when we are 100% OP. Take note of how your clothes are fitting and how you're feeling. The scale will eventually catch up.
Sassy - Congrats on your new low and keep up the great work.
I stayed 100 % OP this past week and I weighed exactly the same as last week at my Weight Watchers weigh in today. I'm not letting it deter me because I know I'm getting smaller and the scale will catch up.
204.6 today. I've been hovering from 203 to 206 since June 13th. I don't know what's going on! I'm just hoping to at least fit into my 16s before I leave for vacation on the 22nd. They are just a touch too tight right now. I guess the main difference is that I've started working out this month, and my weight loss on the scale has pretty much stopped.
Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time of it. Have you thought about shaking things up a little bit? I read all kinds of things about how sometimes if you increase your calories for a day, that can jogs things loose. And on my video fitness forum there's a contingent of people who found that if they lowered the intensity of their workouts, the scale started moving again.
Maybe if you took a couple of days to do some yoga instead of your usual workout, that might help. At the very least it would be a nice relaxing break, and sometimes that alone is enough to get things moving again.
Also - do you lift weights? If not, it might be time to look into that. If you do, consider increasing your weights a little.
I guess the main difference is that I've started working out this month, and my weight loss on the scale has pretty much stopped.
I'd bet that has a lot to do with it, and you'll see the scale start to move soon. Starting, or even changing up, an exercise routine can cause the body to retain water for a little bit until it gets more accustomed to the new activity level.
I want to be back so much but I am so scared too. I think right now it feels so so far away like I will never reach it.
