A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I want to join this damn church."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, dammit! I said I want to join this damn church!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this Church." The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation.
The pastor agrees that the secretary need not listen to foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There's NO damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."
"I see," said the pastor. "And is this b i t c h giving you a hard time?"
Howdy all. Just recovered from internet woes - entirely my fault, I think, still don't know what I did to make it go away, or why it came back. It's all voodoo to me. And I got back from the quick visit to the friend's cottage - three huge trees just torn right out of the ground, although the stumps flopped back into place once the rest had been cut into sections. Not a tornado but a microburst, or so it seems. The best part of the visit was deciding (after a well-lubricated dinner) that when the air is quite cold the water is probably warm... It was lovely, floating around in the buff, looking up at all the stars, not really noticing the cold because we had no feeling anywhere. Probably the last lake swim of the season.
The SM seems to be doing okay, not quite as nasty when I call to check on progress. It all seems a lot better with lots of distance between us...
Tomorrow one of the cats is having his teeth cleaned. This is a first for me, and I'm still reeling from the estimate. I'll have to work at least three extra days to cover this one!
Happy, so sorry to hear about the abcess. Tooth pain doesn't leave much room for any pleasure in life at all. that it mends soon.
Madcat, I loved your little chipmunk. They're so cute and bold. Did he leave you any sunflower seeds at all, or was the whole bagful in those chubby cheeks?
Shad, BOM? SAP? Doesn't anyone speak English anymore?
Holly, the green room looks wonderfully restful and elegant. You chose well! Are you still planning a trip up this way at Thanksgiving? All by yourself, or with a gang? Let me know what's what.
Ceejay, I'm hoping for you to get some rain at last. Trying to visualize a perfect night with you snoozing away in the new bed while raindrops pitter patter on your roof.
Meadow, how sweet of the sisters to surprise you that way! Lucky you - and lucky that you'd already done your tea run! Is it still warm enough to enjoy the pool out there? It's been cool here, not that that stops us hardy Canucks, eh.
Mel, I hope the destructos don't get too carried away. A builder here was digging a big hole for a new condo, just a little too close to an old existing low-rise, and most of the low-rise's parking lot fell in, along with a tenant's car that will stay there forever... In other word, don't fall into the pit!!!!!
Did you find something perfect to buy with the gift card? Do tell!
One of these days I'm going to forward a really risqué joke to you and see if you post it or not.
Are you liking the cooler weather? As long as there's no rain, I rather like it myself.
Painter, what good news that your health scare was a false alarm. It's news we were all hoping to hear.
Ruth, how's Lucy doing? Well, I hope. I've been sending her some :. I must say I was impressed by your list of woes, and also quite relieved to hear many of the problems had resolved themselves. As for the Longhorn, you'll just have to go to Whistler for dinner - they have one there.
I'm sure I've missed a lot, but will try to post more regularly now I'm back home and (I hope) back on line for good.
I've suspended the diet for the time being, just hoping not to gain too mch back during this little period of excess.
Sometimes we just need a break, right? If I go back up over 180 for more than two days running it'll be back to water and ground flaxseed and nothing else... Otherwise, back to the straight and narrow after Labour Day, with the same Christmas goal. If anyone wants to do a two-week 95% clean eating challenge with me, I'd sure welcome the company. Mel, are you listening????
CARLA~ LOOKS LIKE SHAD AND I BOTH HEARD YOU. YOU MUST HAVE BEEN WELL LUBRICATED TO FREEZE YOUR BUNS OFF IN THE LAKE AND PLAY THE NUDIST!!
NOW DON'T GO TOO CRAZY UNTIL SEPTEMBER!!
GLAD THE SM IS MORE MELLOW. DISTANCE IS A WONDERFUL THING! I AM PERSONALLY THINKING OF MOVING TO THE ANTARTIC!
CEEJAY~ YAY! THE BEDFRAME IS GONE. THAT EXERCISING WAS VERY GOOD! I RECENTLY GAVE MY 1 & 2LB WEIGHTS TO SOME KIDS. ALMOST HIT MYSELF IN THE HEAD ONE TOO MANY TIMES! GOOD NEWS ABOUT NOT OVEREATING.
SHAD~ IT WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU TO GO HOME AND GET A BREAK. WHEN YOU HAVE A BOM IN YOUR WORKPLACE AND A BUNCH OF SAPS RUNNING AROUND WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT??? THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE SIGN MY CHECKS!!!!
MADCAT~ YOU CRACKED ME UP WITH THE CHECK SIGNING LINE. HOPE THE MEETINGS AND THE GYM BOTH GO WELL THIS WEEK. HANG IN THERE. FRIDAY IS SURE TO COME ALONG AND GIVE YOU RELIEF!
HAPPY~YOU POOR THING! HOPE THE PILLS FINALLY DO THEIR MAGIC. A WOMAN IN THE OFFICE HAD TO HAVE THE PILLS CHANGED TO A DIFFERENT ONE AS THE FIRST ONE WASN'T WORKING! KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED AND SENDING HEALING VIBES!! RINSE WITH SALT WATER!
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT WAS STILL RAINING HERE.
ANOTHER FOGGY DAY IN A NJ TOWN. THE BUILDING HAS BEEN SO QUIET!! THE SENIORS ARE ALL FALLING ASLEEP! THE MEETING IS THURSDAY SO THE ACCT IS STAYING EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK. I HAVE TO EARN MY KEEP JEN AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING A LOT. MAKING UP FOR A LOST SUMMER. SHE IS HAPPY TO BE HOME AGAIN. I AM SITTING HERE SCRATCHING MY HEAD AND THERE ARE NO "THOUGHTS" FORTHCOMING...SO I BID YOU ADIEU AND TTFN......
HAPPY WEDNESDAY
Seems we are TV kindred spirits here, LOL!! Mine was a hand me down.
It is official. I am going to Ruth's for Thanksgiving!!!!!! Alone!!!! Just sent an email to the folks letting them know I will be gone but hubby and the kids are available for dinner.
Carla- we will have to hook up somehow.
I have a few friends in that area I want to try and get to. It has taken at least 2 years to make this happen!!!!!
I am back to work today at noon. I need to do some serious grooming and hair styling.
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
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Morning kids,
Just missed you Mel. Is it STILL raining up by you? Rain, rain go away - come again another day, little Mel wants to PLAY (with the firemen) I can see how the dreary weather is making everyone sleepy! It's good that you are catching up on some time with Jen. Sometimes as Forest Gump said - there is just nothing more to say so you can just sit and enjoy each others company Go find us more jokes - the latest was cute.
I'm up for an eating clean challenge too. Got some of the bloat out of my system but I can use a bit more discipline so lemme know, 'k?
Yikes on the car next door Carla, just to show you when you're tooling along thinking everything is blah or just rolling along - bam - things happen. Glad to hear things have settled with the SM. Hope you can get back on track with things again.
Shad - such is the way of the world today - don't care if it's done right - do the miniminum just to check it off the list. So sad what the corporate world has become...
Ceejay - that's great that the Hoodia is helping you keep the cravings in check.
Madcat - Visio, eh? That was fun to mess with IF you were kind of familiar with the software AND you had enough time to mess with it properly. I've done alot of cussing at Visio in my days. I've got a copy sitting in my drawer waiting to get installed but I'm going to wait until the last minute when I'm really under the gun Right now I'm having fun with Excel charts. - first you have to figure out what the numbers actually mean before you can arrange them to graphically represent what you're trying to say
Dentist visit yesterday was a real trip. I took a pain pill in the morning because I needed one. Had a very small granola bar just to get something in my stomach. The dentist uses nitrious oxide gas and asked if I wanted it. I said yeah as it does relax you. They put the mask on and proceeded to give me shots of novocaine for where he had to drill into the tooth. Left me to sit for a few to let everything kick in. Suddenly I got this really wierd feeling, things circling, sounded like people were far away when they were really 2 feet next to me. At one point my heart started racing and though I didn't have trouble breathing it was like I couldn't get enough air - like when you hyperventilate. I pulled the mask off my face and the tech saw me and asked what was wrong. She said the gas concentration was too high. All seemed well and things calmed down. I do have a nasty abscess which they treated. I got up when done and as I was standing at the counter to set my next appt I got really nauseated. Had to run twice to the toilet tho I did not actually get sick. They told me to go sit down for a minute. It got worse and was like being very, very drunk. The kind of very drunk where you drank way too much, too another drink and your body goes oh no - you should NOT have done that. I sat on the couch for a few minutes and was feeling worse. No way I could drive. I grabbed my cell phone (thank God for speed dial) and was barely able to get the sentence out "come get me, I'm really sick" to DH. I got up and staggered to the door and could not walk or speak coherently. Never had this happen before without large amounts of alchohol being involved I got home, DH helped me to a seat outside on the patio where I thought the fresh air would help. I wound up crawling into the house and passing out on the bed. Woke up 3 hours later - was still woozy but not as bad as before. Ate a bit of eggs just to get something in me. We went back and picked up my car and I came back and fell back asleep until DH woke me at 5:30pm. What an ordeal. And they never once called from the dentist office to see if I was ok. I think if a patient staggers out of the office, you might want to see if they are alright but no, not down here. I'm sure the wrong mix of gas was the culprit. I'm going to say something to the dentist when I go back on Thursday but then again, he was the one who gave me too much gas
Such fun. Tooth still hurts and probably will for a few days. When it flares it's pretty bad. Good news is that it only flares about once an hour for about 10 minutes. Kinda like contractions
Time to get off to work. Take care peeps. Talk to you later...
Shad, Mel, Madcat, Happy - the "clean" eating challenge is whatever suits your needs. For instance, I don't plan to eliminate caffeine, but Mel probably should. Shad can probably continue to have a glass of wine with dinner, but for me it'll be a total ban. We all exaggerate with different things, although a common thread might be a tendency to overfill the plate... So my plan: limited carbs/starches, no fatty meats like sausages or fatty pork chops, NO wine or chocolate or cake/cookies. I plan to eat lots of steamed veg, lean meat or fish, eggs, fruit, limited skim milk and hi-fiber bread, a max of two cups of joe per day, and, for a treat, a daily DQ FF fudge bar (50 cal and delish). I'm thinking three weeks, starting September 4, which allows for a final long weekend of sin at the end of summer. Of course it would be very smart to get lot of exercise too, but that'll have to be someone else's challenge.
Holly, I'm sure we'll figure out some way to connect while you're up this way. Maybe another lunch in Merrickville, if Ruth's up for another go round? There was a review of a new restaurant/café there that sounded pretty good. Ruth can probably give us a review of it, although it would probably help if I could remember the name... And speaking of lunch, are you on board for our clean-eating challenge? The more the merrier...
Happy, so sorry about the tribulations with the tooth, not to mention the dentist. What were they thinking? First, to give the wrong level of gas, then not checking what meds you'd already self-administered, and finally to let you go home and not check on you. And I bet they expect you to pay for the privilege of being poisoned and neglected! Grrr.
Mel, it does take a certain level of lubrication to get into a cold lake, but staying in is much easier. Somehow the water just feels so nice, especially on those rare occasions you can get away with nekkid swimming. And when it's cold - no bug bites! A few years ago I was at a cottage near Ruth for Thanksgiving (mid-October here) and four of us went for a quick swim. Truly exhilarating, no booze involved, and since it was the middle of the day and rather public, we all wore our large black one-piece suits. Maybe Ruth and Holly and I can jump in a lake together this year and show everyone just how tough we Canajans really are.
(((Happy))) glad the worst is over.
Carla- I was already planning a fresh start for Sept 4. Kids go back to school,and I will be able to leave the house alone to walk. My goal is 30 min a day. Clean eating is a good idea too. I did well, way back, when I eliminated cheese. My crutch, my love...........
Once again I'm way behind on posts.....and the rest of Life too!
Looking forward to seeing Hollyhock and definitely will work out something to see Carla again! Merrickville will be a zoo that weekend however!
The Girls and I went away for a couple of days to stay with the Hyper Pypers on their farm south of Ottawa. The dogs had a wonderful time running free and so did I, not running but just chatting and eating and drinking too much. We had a real pee-your-pants moment when Lucy joined us on the back lawn, threw up and a small toad hopped away saying "WTF happened?" Obviously she was glugging pond water. She's still wheezing so I will probably bite the bullet and shell out for further diagnostic tests.
I am definitely in for a clean eating challenge. I hoped to lose 20 pounds before Janaury 1 to make life easier for my knee but have not lost a darn thing this summer!
Time to feed the critters and then I may work on pew decorations for a wedding this Saturday. The bride's colours are white, green and BLACK! I just can't do the black bit with flowers. Even ribbons look too funereal!
Gotta dash. There's barking and whining at the back door. They may eat me alive if I don't feed them soon. Shad can tell you how fierce they are!
Oh yes, the ferocious beasts almost licked me to death when I didn't give them a treat. Instead they slept on my feet under the table while I was having breakfast. Death from foot numbness.
Good to see you back Ruth. Glad you had a good time with the Hyper Pypers.
Carla's had her break away, you've now had yours. Holly has been slacking off so now it is time to get back into the swing.
Happy, so sorry to hear of your dreadful experience with the dentist. The least they could have done was to enquire about how you were going to get home. As Ceejay says it could have been the combination of drugs, or it could have been the gas mixture. You've had it before I believe and it hasn't caused a problem. Lucky DH was at home and not miles away doing a job.
Holly - pleased to know you will be meeting up with Ruth and possibly Carla later in the year. It will be fun, however I can't see any of you skinny dipping in late October that far north. Although if it happens, we want photos!
Ok - my definition of clean will be portion control, water and exercise. 5 x structured sessions per week for at least 30 minutes. It's more or less what has been happening over this challenge with Patty from the other thread. It's the water that has been letting this challenge down. Anyway - all in all, my challenge to me will be to live clean as per above 90% of the time (there will always be lapses) and to lose 2kg. It's doable, just a case of mind over matter etc.etc. Talk, talk, talk.
Right time to go round up the sheep and get on with the day.
Shad, I was all set to giggle about the reference to rounding up sheep, thinking it was a Kiwi metaphor, then realized you may have meant the sad little folk you're meant to teach. Or the other teachers...
Ruth, if Merrickville is out, we can probably manage somewhere else. I may decide to go visit the SM that weekend, and could stop off en route closer to your home base. Since I'm dying to meet Lucy and Hershey, that would suit me anyway.
My cottage friend is now home in the big smoke, but emailed to tell me she swam in liquid ice her last two days out. I really do think it would be a hoot if we jumped in the lake at Thanksgiving - not impossible if the girls are feeling silly and have somewhere to warm up after. Assuming, of course, that it's not snowing...
My poor cat had three teeth extracted and is very, very stoned. No impact on his appetite, of course - he really belongs on 3fc. The bill was only slightly less than the estimate. I looked like the guy in The Scream when I first saw it. Good thing I'll have over a month to come up with the $$$$$$$.
Ceejay, I think you've already set some challenges for yourself. I'm sure they'll fit right in to a group challenge. No need to come up with new annoying boundaries.
looking up at all the stars, not really noticing the cold because we had no feeling anywhere. Probably the last lake swim of the season.
that it mends soon. 
It's news we were all hoping to hear.
:. I must say I was impressed by your list of woes, and also quite relieved to hear many of the problems had resolved themselves. As for the Longhorn, you'll just have to go to Whistler for dinner - they have one there.
YOU MUST HAVE BEEN WELL LUBRICATED TO FREEZE YOUR BUNS OFF IN THE LAKE AND PLAY THE NUDIST!! 
GOOD NEWS ABOUT NOT OVEREATING. 
KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED AND SENDING HEALING VIBES!! RINSE WITH SALT WATER!
THE MEETING IS THURSDAY SO THE ACCT IS STAYING EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK. I HAVE TO EARN MY KEEP 
Go find us more jokes - the latest was cute. 
Right now I'm having fun 
with Excel charts. - first you have to figure out what the numbers actually mean before you can arrange them to graphically represent what you're trying to say 
and show everyone just how tough we Canajans really are. 
