Location: Home of the Pirates, Steelers and Penguins
Posts: 12,402
S/C/G: 217/179/142
Height: 5'2
Owls, DH and I have always had a pact, not to volunteer each other for things without checking first. Not only is that a lot of cookies to bake, but in a short amount of time.
Thanks for all the kind words. The same aunt came back to the shop today and asked about him, It took EVERYTHING in me not to say oh, you mean the fat one? But no I am better than that. I think that people fell just because they have age on them that it gives them the right to say whatever they want and that is not true. I don't care how old you are you have NO RIGHT to say hurtful things.
Anyway my IE is not as good as I would like it to be. It is better, but could also be better.
As for me, I think I have probably been doing some stress eating lately. I do think of dieting every now and again but no, I really can't do it. I feel like I can never again purposely restrict my food. I can tell by looking in the mirror that Im not the weight I want to be but I continue to work on body acceptance and eating whatever I want whenever I want. I know for many that is not IE but I am still at the point I cannot follow any "guidelines". I have to just disconnect my mind from my eating. So far so good.
Pinkhippie, that's pretty much where I am now: just trying to disconnect mind from eating. It used to be that way when I was naturally thin. Never gave much thought to food. Just ate something when I wanted/needed to.
Diets have done more damage to me than anything else, and the minute I even *think* about going on one, it causes me to start "last suppering".
Quote:
Originally Posted by owlsteazombies
My husband signed me up to make 224 cookies for his office. 224. I could kill him. And they're for this upcoming Thursday! Awesome!
That's an awful thing to spring on a spouse, Owlsteazombies! And so MANY! You'd think they'd split up the baking duties among several people if they need that many cookies.
I've gone back to planning a strict weekly menu. Not for diet reasons, but because of the holidays. So many gifts to buy and I don't have a money tree.
But, I do feel better knowing what I have planned. Maybe that goes back to the control issues I have with food. And I still tend to eat from the same 4 meals every breakfast and lunch. I crave control.
I'll need to work on that more. I've really been wanting to get to Deschutes and Rogue to try their winter beer flights and some of their seasonal dishes. And of course, Mother's to get some meatloaf (which is a restaurant here in Portland, not my mom's house.)
Is it about control? It could be. But it could also be just a scheduling thing. I know I feel less stressed when I have a menu. It helps me shop easily, prep in advance and spend less time worrying about what we are going to eat. I PLAN on watching tv shows on certain days, I like knowing what my day will be like tomorrow and don't need to spend every meal pondering what I'm going to eat. It's just food, it's not an important life decision that we need to impose on ourselves daily.
I love the "set it and forget it" planning mentality. There's already a lot of angst on my life with work. I've decided that food needs to fall into the "easy" and "joyful" categories.
And so what if you only like a few foods. That just means you're picky. Are you trying to like everything? That can cause so much stress!
The cookies actually didn't take that long. But I cheated. Hard. All I did was buy those bags of cookie mix (peanut butter) and I stuffed each one with a rolo. Special. Bam!
Palestrina, you're right. There's not a problem with me being a creature of habit and comfort. And I am trying to try a lot more things. And I'm trying to like them. It's just not working out.
Palestrina, you're right. There's not a problem with me being a creature of habit and comfort. And I am trying to try a lot more things. And I'm trying to like them. It's just not working out.
I know what you mean, I have habits that I associate with my eating disorder too, like eating alone. Sometimes I feel like when I'm eating alone that I'm binging even though I'm not.
It takes time to like things, but it is something that you can do! I would never call myself a picky eater but there were a lot of foods that I didn't really like. Bananas, curry, salad, sushi, combinations of food, etc. I had my comfort zone and I was afraid to step out of it. I really wanted to like more foods and be more adventurous in my eating choices but ultimately I was afraid that I wouldn't like something, which usually led me to feel unsatisfied, which always led me to binging. "oh yes this is a lovely lamb curry!" I would say while I was dying on the inside and then binging at fast food all the way home.
Along the way I taught myself to like those things I listed above, it just took practice and an open mind. I can't go a whole week without sushi or a banana. I still don't LOVE curry but I'm happy to participate. It's all about participation as far as I'm concerned, being out with people and enjoying and their company and partaking in the food experience without feeling like I will have to binge afterwards to make up for my lack of satisfaction. I've learned how to appreciate a culinary experience even if I don't love the food, does that make sense? And remember, it's just food and you'll digest it eventually and be hungry for something yummy later.
Location: Home of the Pirates, Steelers and Penguins
Posts: 12,402
S/C/G: 217/179/142
Height: 5'2
I'm the opposite. I love a lot of different foods, and love trying new ones. I am actually happy when I try something that I can add to my "don't like" list. It's a short list. Recently I have been choosing only those foods that are 4 or 5 stars. I enjoy my eating much more when it's something I love. Life it too short to eat things you don't like.
Palestrina, I have similar experiences when I eat something I'm not crazy about. I may be satisfied physically, but I keep eating other things, trying to find emotional satisfaction. At home I have foods that I like available, but sometimes DH will choose a restaurant that doesn't have any of my favorites. I can find something to eat on the menu, but it's not always something I love.
Last edited by Wannabehealthy; 12-12-2015 at 10:33 AM.
I have resisted the urge to weigh myself but today sitting at the hair salon waiting for my blowout I looked in the mirror, which is something I normally avoid doing, and my face really did look better, thinner, and I was able to accept it, wrinkles and all. The only thing I'm struggling with so far are: 1. finding that stop point -- I'm not stuffing myself but I suspect I could stop a few bites beforehand; and 2. tempted to distract myself with reading when eating my evening meal. I for the most part find everything else easy. I don't know how I would do it though if I had little ones at home or a husband who expected to be fed.
The stopping point is very hard to pin down! I'm sure that I overeat at every meal. I don't get to full and sick anymore but I definitely eat past fullness.
Like today for example I has just started eating lunch (a gyro) when a friend called and I needed to speak with her. I had taken about 6 or 7 bites by then and I stopped eating during the conversation. We spoke for about 20 minutes. When I hung up the phone I was stuffed and I didn't want to eat anymore so I stored the gyro in the fridge for later. But if she hadn't called I would've continued eating - I'm sure of that because when she called I was still hungry. So I am more in touch with my signals but not well enough yet. In order to eat what my body I needs I need to stop eating before I feel satisfied, wait it out a bit and reasses. I used to be better about that and need to revisit those skills.
So I am more in touch with my signals but not well enough yet. In order to eat what my body I needs I need to stop eating before I feel satisfied, wait it out a bit and reasses.
Good example. I tried something at lunch today that was recommended in that Skinny Jeans book. Before you begin eating take a portion of the meal, and not a tiny tiny portion and put it off to the side. That is the part you are going to leave on the plate. I was at Ikea and felt true hunger so I stopped and got the Swedish meatballs with mashed potatoes. It was so delicious, with the lingonberries. I was thrilled with how it tasted but I had put a portion to the side and I definitely could have eaten that portion and still not felt stuffed but I stopped and felt fine.
I am still struggling with the evening. I do not stuff myself with dinner. Tonight some roast turkey, mashed potatoes and homemade cranberry sauce but I somehow am giving myself permission to go hog wild with dessert -- even when it doesn't taste that good. I have a weird love/hate relationship with sweets. I am compelled to stuff myself with sweets but I really do not even like the way they taste. If I could crack this ut I would really be home free. This is my quest to acknowledge that I am not really hungry for sweets. And I only eat them while reading to distract myself from seeing what I'm really doing. Ok, enough. Thanks for letting me get this out there.
Pinkhippie, that's pretty much where I am now: just trying to disconnect mind from eating. It used to be that way when I was naturally thin. Never gave much thought to food. Just ate something when I wanted/needed to.
Diets have done more damage to me than anything else, and the minute I even *think* about going on one, it causes me to start "last suppering".
That's an awful thing to spring on a spouse, Owlsteazombies! And so MANY! You'd think they'd split up the baking duties among several people if they need that many cookies.
Yep, I was the same way Truffle. Owls, Im glad you got the cookies sorted, I would still have been mad though. Man, I hope he doesn't do that again!
So, I think I mentioned I have been overeating a bit. Lots of candies and ice cream. I have really been enjoying it though. I was laying here thinking about it this morning before I got up and I realized that this is a very stressful anxiety ridden time in my life right now. My dh is unemployed and I have to go back to work after 7 years of not working. I am already not socially adept and this is incredible pressure and anxiety for me. We got this puppy which is seriously like having a baby again and Im having trouble juggling the needs of him and the needs of my kids. My husband is home and that is a new pattern, its really hard to get used to and we are both kind of floundering. And yet... I haven't been anxious at all. I haven't been staying up all night because of the anxiety like I normally would either.
I realized its because I am eating. That is quite a toss up... I like looking a little thinner, but I also REALLY like not being an anxious mess every day and not having trouble being able to sleep because my heart is pounding so hard.
Obviously I need to figure out other ways to manage my anxiety and I think I always do come back to this. It was just a little sneaky because it wasn' tlike "Oh Im so anxious, Im going to eat this chocolate." Its more like " ooh that chocolate looks good, I want some right now."
I really do hate meditating and I hate forcing myself to exercise. Is there any form of anxiety relief that I would enjoy as much as ice cream?
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 12-18-2015 at 11:42 AM.
I have been baking cookies and for the first time I am not bingeing. That is an enormous stride for me. I do not feel like I am losing any weight though. Maybe it was my overdoing it with the sweets in the first couple of weeks with IE. I am also not doing any exercise. I usually walk 3 - 5 miles a couple of times a week and do yoga 2 mornings but I have gotten off track and need to get back on. I was up and out early this morning to get things in the mail before 7 a.m. and it was so wonderfully brisk. I love early weekend mornings in our village. No commuters rushing to catch the train. It's like everyone is still in bed and I have the place to myself. I need to get out there on the weekends and not stay cozy in bed.
I'm struggling with the stopping point as well. Up until a month or so ago I was "intuitive" eating...but if I'm honest with myself l, I was eating past satisfaction as evidenced by my clothes fitting tighter.
I try not to count calories, but at the end of the night I tally up what I ate in my head. For the past week or so I was eating an average of 100 to 200+ calories below my tdee (all the calories that I burned) but after each meal I felt like I had enough to eat. Clearly that wasn't the case because on Saturday I binged because I felt deprived. Sunday I overate probably. Today I feel like crap.
It's really frustrating and I hate second guessing myself and obsessing over if I ate too much or too little after meals. I actually felt better when i was overeating regularly without knowing it, but I was steadily gaining weight.
I've been very busy and very stressed this month. Sometimes I can't believe that this is my life, sun up to sun down I am on the go and have such little time for recovery. Sometimes I covet the lives of people who live in more rural areas, not that their lives are less busy but in NYC there is so much traffic and mayhem to contend with daily and I have such little access to nature to help combat my stress.
Anyway, with a few days of relaxation I've slipped very easily into IE. I see to overeat when stressed and then when the stress is gone I'm..... full, for lack of a better word.
Now I'm watching some tv and the channels are filled with commercials about weight loss products. It's hilarious.
I've been lurking and reading and thinking. Sometimes a dangerous combo for me.
I so understand your comment about traffic and mayhem. Even though I'm in in the 'burbs it is still overwhelming at times. I've lived in a rural area and remember how much I missed things like access to a variety of stores, restaurants, concerts etc. It's definitely a Catch-22!
Your comment on TV content cracked me up. I believe the content for the next month or so is going to be mostly weight loss products/systems, political stories/ads and post-holiday sales. Thankfully I've got a good stash of books on my shelf, CDs and itunes and a lot of work to do over the next month.
My best wishes to everyone to find a comfortable balance moving forward
