My boss is an alcoholic and it's just getting worse and worse. He used to be what I would have described as a functional alcoholic, but that is sliding to non-functional alcoholism. He's getting drunk earlier and earlier in the day, and just getting lazy as heck. I know it's going to start affecting our company at some point, maybe even it already has. It bums me out because other than that my job is great, I have a short commute and earn a good paycheck. My boss is the owner of the company, so he's not getting fired. And he has the power to take the entire company down with him if he gives in totally to his alcoholism.
I am sad. On Tuesday, I had to put my dog down. He was my faithful companion for 14 years. I knew he wouldn't live forever - at 14 he was well past the normal life expectancy for a Rottweiler - and I know it was the right decision for him, but I still wasn't prepared. I wasn't going to post about it here, but keeping it to myself isn't helping. I don't even feeling like eating ice cream. I guess that's a good thing. But it makes me feel guilty.
Deep breath in...and out.
My 97-year old grandma fell and broke her hip a few weeks back. She sailed through the surgery to repair it and was looking ahead to therapy to get back on her feet ... and then the C. Diff got her. I found out last night that she has chosen to go into hospice care, and while I understand it intellectually, I am absolutely a wreck otherwise.
I've been slipping on my calorie counting and exercise AND my sleep over the past month. Even though I'm losing weight, I'm not eating right (maybe just over 2/3 my 1200 quota) and getting up at 3pm etc... Talk about letting university and the stress that comes with it control my life
Quote:
Originally Posted by fadedbluejeans
I am sad. On Tuesday, I had to put my dog down. He was my faithful companion for 14 years. ... I wasn't going to post about it here, but keeping it to myself isn't helping. I don't even feeling like eating ice cream. I guess that's a good thing. But it makes me feel guilty.
Deep breath in...and out.
This is a vent and also an admission of guilt. I'm really frustrated right now with the health issues my cat is having. My cat is 17, and has been insulin dependent diabetic for, I dunno, 10 years? And he has been amazingly stable- until just the last few weeks. He's had three really bad hypoglycemic episodes in the past few weeks. On the first one, he had food available but was ignoring it. I treated him at home and got his blood sugar back up. The second one he had eaten all his food and was out and his blood sugar dropped below 30 and I took him to the vet (after starting treatment at home) and was told to lower his dosage of insulin by half a unit per shot, which I did. That was about a week ago. Then today, another episode despite his lower dosage. I made an appointment for him tomorrow to go to the vet for a full senior wellness panel and a glucose curve, but (and I feel totally guilty about this) I am so TIRED of dealing with his diabetes. I'm tired of the $1000 vet bills, I'm tired of the $50 a month in insulin, I'm tired of the crises at home and the stress that goes with, I'm tired of every time he cries at night I wake in a panic to go check on him to see if it's a normal cry or a cry for help because his blood sugar has tanked and losing sleep, I'm tired of never being able to go anywhere because someone has to be home at 8am and 8pm to feed him and give him his shot. I love the little guy, I do. But I'm so tired of this, and that makes me feel guilty as heck.
I fell off the diet wagon at work today. It started with a meeting where breakfast was served. I didn't expect that and the smell was heavenly. No one's fault buy my own. I fell face first into quiche and potatoes after I'd already had breakfast. That set me off. I topped it off with two granola bars and a box of raisins. Then I ate lunch. To make it worse, I still ate my full dinner after I got home and now I want some blasted tortilla chips! And chocolate! I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE.
My tummy, arms and legs have the most fat to lose and where to I get loose skin? My butt! Mine has never been very big, but it's got all the loose skin.
I know my complaints aren't nearly as significant as others who post here but right now I am irritated! It is almost 11:30 pm here and my neighbor is blaring their TV!! I left a voice mail for the management of the apartment buildings and I left a note for the tenant under their door. It is just so frustrating and irritating that people don't consider others. I know that a lot of people who live in my building are elderly and probably have hearing loss but they should still try to be considerate to others, especially at this late hour.
I want to move out of this apartment complex and move somewhere closer to town where there are more people my age and not many people can relate to me, sigh.
MIL rant!!! She hasn't called or seen my kids for almost two months (she is in a fight wit DH... LONG STORY!) but she has the audacity of taggin herself in a picture of my girls that MY PARENTS posted on FB. I really had to control myself to say something nasty, instead I clarified on the post that only my parents were at the park with the kids.
Today I went clothes shopping for myself. I tried on 80 pairs of shorts and it was disaster. I go on vacation next week and I'm about to cry. I wish my body image didn't wildly swing back and forth day to day!
I feel absolutely terrible today. My brother has given me a cold, so I have a sore throat, runny nose and a headache. AND I need to study today because I have my last exam tomorrow, but I just cannot concentrate... I am also unable to exercise too :/ I just feel so crappy...
I'm ashamed of myself! I made myself upset by snooping where I shouldn't have and turned to Ice-Cream. I feel fat and gross right now. I feel ashamed, and I hate my life. I'm ready to throw in the towel for still having trust issues.
I've been unemployed for almost two months. I'm either too young or over-qualified.
Unemployment has been screwing me around for months. The last paperwork I sent in was faxed on 6/3. Here we are, two weeks later, and I haven't heard a peep. No one is helpful, everyone is rude, and that's assuming you reach anyone at all. But take your time, it's not like I'm sitting here watching my savings disappear while I worry about my student loans or anything.
I know these jobs probably aren't the most exciting but I find it hilarious how these people sound so terribly unenthused to be at work when I'm calling in to their agency for help when I'd rather be at work. Maybe one of them will trade? I assure you I could do a better job anyways; since when is it considered polite to not acknowledge that you heard someone? How hard would it be to say, "Okay, could you hold a second?" Don't just sit there silently making me wonder if the connection dropped! How hard is it to operate a freaking phone?!
I overate today. I'm so stressed, I shoveled it in and didn't work out. My anxiety is spiking. I have a job interview tomorrow that I feel is slightly out of my field but I'll be sure to make my case! Then I have an apartment showing with my boyfriend and a meeting with welfare. I feel bad saying I'm going for welfare but I'm getting to where I'm afraid to eat...afraid I'll run out of money faster if I do.
I just want to work. I just want someone to hire me, I'd work so hard.
I left a voice mail for the management of the apartment buildings and I left a note for the tenant under their door. It is just so frustrating and irritating that people don't consider others. I know that a lot of people who live in my building are elderly and probably have hearing loss but they should still try to be considerate to others, especially at this late hour.
