I'm sorry you're going through this. Relationships are tough, I hear you.
Are you friendly with any of your neighbors? Maybe if there is a college or high school student that you trust, they would sit your child. All of my babysitters growing up were my neighbors and they did a good job. Also, I think there are some websites where you may be able to find someone to sit.
You don't sound like a nut to me at all.
That sounds a bit paranoid to me of him to say that you would be out looking for men, I don't mean to judge.
I remember being a new mom, and looking at any man, including the one I had, was last thing on my list. I am sure this feeling is shared by you and any other new mom. -- I am so sorry that your hubby is feeling so insecure.
Please ask him point plank what he means....it may have been an innocent comment and men can be so darn oblivious at times....but he should know that he hurt your feelings.
Glamour Girl I would dress the kids up and make a surprise appearance for 15 min. at the party!!!!! Say FIRST when his jaw hits the floor: "I know you so wanted me to be here so here we are!!"
1. He won't dare contradict you in front of everyone and lose face
2. Anyone he's into will see that he adores his family and couldn't bear the thought of being without you!
3. Any and all kids dressed in their holiday finery will be cute and adorable and will be the hit of the party for 15 min.
4. You will be out of there in 15 min.
5. He will be embarrassed, and considered cute, wonderful, in love with his wife, and a family man.
6. You will jazz up a party
7. Say when he gets home: "Next time find a sitter."
8. You will be unpredictable, a force to be reckoned with
9. You will give permission for the other wives to do the same
Thank you all...we've been going through a very rough patch lately and this was just the straw that broke the camels back.
Sum38 - you are 100% correct. The last thing I want to do is deal with a man, and yes including my iwn...I've tried telling him that as a new mom (and I'm breastfeeding) I am not thinking about sex at all...that I'm tired and gross...but he instists that I'm getting it somewhere and that I'm home all day (with 3 kids mind you) so I have the opportunity.
I just have this weird feeling he has connected with someone at work and is putting this on me so he feels justified to cheat...its so strange, he and I were always so close, like best friends...his new attitude is not typical for him or us...just a week or two ago he was excited at the idea of having a 4th baby...now he's just turned into a monster..
Maybe he is tempted, or maybe some guy in the office has a cheating SAHM wife, OR someone is putting ideas in his head. It doesn't have to be a woman! Years ago my DH's best friend tried to triangulate, cause trouble, put ideas in DH's head... because HE was a SAHD and bored!! There is some third party trouble maker here ~ an interest, a friend or a family member.
That he's accusing you of cheating is concerning, because it's common for a cheater to assume the other person is cheating on them.
Are there other signs? Is he protective of his cell phone, won't let you use it, has it passworded? Does he turn off whatever he's doing on the computer if you come in the room? Is he taking phone calls and getting up and leaving the room? Is he later than usual coming home, or going out often? The Christmas party I don't find necessarily concerning- he may feel obligated to be there. If he's actually cheating, there will be other signs. If you have mutual friends, also keep an eye out for if they start acting weird around you. They may know something you don't.
Inkrid- thank you. I need to talk to him but whenever I try to talk to him he gets angry or just blows me off like I'm nuts. Even the stuff you suggested, he wouldnt tell me even if that was true. His whole attitude has just been so different. I'm going to try to talk to him again later, right now the kitchen guys are here fixing something...we had our kitchen done like 3 weeks ago and its been dragging out.
I remember reading something about cheating, where women always go nuts checking the emails and cell phones but the signs are what they should be paying attention to. The signs are almost always there if the man is cheating. Maybe google a few lists and see if you still feel concerned....
Also, I'm in a graduate program and a few of the girls have profiles on care.com they were able to find a few babysitting jobs that way. These are very nice responsible people who are great with kids. I know finding a babysitter on the internet sounds crazy but I would consider it if your desperate to find someone. It would be a way to expand your babysitter list. You could schedule a few meetings beforehand to make sure the person isn't weird and read the person's reviews. Just a suggestion.
Also super good luck with getting though this tough stretch
So I made it through my medical procedure and my boyfriend even managed to show up at the last minute. But now a few more things have gone wrong...
1) I started my period which is usually rough on me. I started it the same day as my procedure which was also my first day in training at a new job.
2) I can't use tampons as a result of this procedure so I'm walking around in what feels like a diaper.
3) I've also caught what seems to be a cold. My throat got sore last night and then I woke up this morning at 6:00 with a REALLY sore throat and difficulty breathing. I'd like to stay home but it's my first week, I have to suck it up.
4) The clothes I have to wear are not work appropriate so I have to find time to go shopping soon but I don't have a day off until like the 8th and I feel uneasy. I'm also almost broke as someone owes me quite a chunk of money for services rendered but I had to fight with them for 3 months to have the check cut in the first place. It won't be here until Friday at the earliest, next week at the latest, assuming they aren't lying to me again.
Overall, this is the worst way to start a job and I feel like crying.
I'm not even remotely tracking my calories at this point.
Thank you everyone...DH and I had a long talk...he expressed that he is very insecure about his weight, dh has been about 100lbs over weight for many years now. While I gained while pregnant, I have been back at workong on losing it again, and its coming off slowly but steadily...anyway, this seems to stem back to him bein g insecure...we addressed a lot of issues, including the accusations, something we talked about and hows its very distructive...
Anyway, just thought I'd follow up..dh is a great guy, but instead of expressing insecurity right off the bat, he gets angry and defensive...a lot fo work to be done, but things are settling down a bit here...thankfully because I have a full plate as it is.
hello gals i'm new here. can i come in here with you please?
i read your posts. oh yuou poor babies.
glamourgirl - accusing the other of cheating is definitely a sign. but it could be the weight issue like you say. good luck on that. don't worry too much about your weight, esp. if you are breast-feeding, for goodness sake. just take care of you and your bubba.
dollfaise - i'm sorry you are not that well. just grit your teeth here and it will pass.
nice to 'meet' you all.
inkrid, that's funny about showing up at the party….LOL.
Been in maintenance for QUITE awhile now and still getting comments from a place i frequent roughly once a week about how i'm "wasting away" and "are you STILL losing??" (no... in fact i've probably gained a couple pounds).
NOT HELPFUL or complimentary and i take it as a hint that i'm not looking good. I've lost over 100 lbs and i'm over 50, people. Sorry that my face has lost all of its fat (but i still look darned good for 51) i am just really tired of walking around feeling like i haven't accomplished very much and in fact look worse than better. I don't chalk it up to jealousy, either. In order for my face to regain some of its former youthful chub i'd have to gain TWENTY pounds to really make a big difference which i'm not willing to do just to get the comments to stop.
I started a new job recently and since then, I've found it hard to keep my life straight. For the first week, my hours were really varied; some days, I'd work until 6:00, others I'd work until 10:00. I barely got to see my boyfriend and this made me emotional as he's the only person I can depend on here. My family is 300 miles away so I felt alone, coming home and going almost straight to bed, and then waking up by myself to boot.
I got sick after my very first shift so I've spent most of my time working with a cold. Despite this, I was scheduled to work almost a full week with no break but I felt so miserable I was forced to take a day off already. A few days, I woke up so upset I cried.
My appetite has greatly diminished and despite this fact plus standing on my feet 7/8 hours a day, my weight has gone from 136/137 to almost 140. I don't even check anymore. I know it's a combo of stress, exhaustion, and bad eating habits (my metabolism seems screwed up, I'm not digesting properly) but I don't know how to solve it so I'm just stuck gaining weight. I bought a gym membership a week or so before beginning my new job but I haven't been in for two weeks.
Because I'm in a store and it's Christmas time, I only got 1.5 days off to go home. I drove all the way home, spent one full day there, and then came back. After a 5 hour drive, I pulled an 8 hour shift, staying clear until midnight. Then this morning, I started at 10:00am; I've barely had time to breathe.
As if that's not enough, the test my doctor ran didn't go through right, they messed up and they want me to come in again...I don't even have words for this.
Even better, my bf's Mom seems miffed that I don't have all the time (and energy) in the world to come over and hang out. I've changed my mind about wanting to spend Christmas there because I don't have much time with my bf and this seems to have made her unhappy too. But I get one day off - Christmas - and that's it, I'm so tired I don't want to go anywhere.
My bf has been food pushing on weekends for the past month or so. I thought it was just him trying to be nice/being clueless. I told him this past week that I really need to be more careful on weekends because my weight loss has been slowing down and asked him to help me stay more accountable. Well....he said that he has no intention of it and admitted he's been trying to get me to eat more lately because he thinks I should be done losing weight and that if I lose any more I will be too skinny and not as attractive >_<
Its MY body! Grrr....I'm so annoyed that he has actually been attempting to sabotage my efforts. I worked hard on being better this weekend, and at least he admitted it to me so I can be more careful when I'm around him.
I know I'm a tight a*** when it comes to spelling and I'm mostly tolerant because I know mine isn't perfect all the time... but enough is enough [friend]. It's punched not punshed, husband not husbond, babies not babys and all the dozon other mistakes you make during every fb post. Surely spell correct underlines your post... use it!
Hugs
But now a few more things have gone wrong...
