^^rhiko me too...when someone mentions group work i instantly become nervous. i have to make a group assignment and it's hard when we can't even decide on the topic let alone to work together. the bigger problem is that we don't know one each other and everyone assumes the other will do it. and no matter how many ideas you throw out they are never satisfied -.- i just gave up.

vent 2: i'm so angry with myself right now...i just got home from a presentation of two famous writers one of which is actually from my country and who lived in my neighbourhood and i really wanted to go to him to say hi, since we are in italy right now and he doesn't know the people except for organizers nor does he understand the language, but i was so embarassed to go talk to him or take pic with him and i just left quickly. my professors were there too. now i'm home and i really regret it. and i'm going to regret it for a while.. i hate my cowardness. there is a literary event tonight and i really want ot go but i don't know anyone and probably my professors will be there and it just makes it awkward. i'm such a social cripple :/

Ok I have been on my weight loss journey for some time now. I am 6'1" 268 lbs and my goal is to be 200 lbs. I have fell off the wagon so many times that it makes me sick. But I am back on the wagon and I am trying to go 30 days without eating any bread to see how many lbs I can lose. Everything I eat includes bread. I am also cutting out all juice and soda for 30 days, so yes all water. I have doing this for about 3 days now and I can not stay out of the kitchen trying to figure out what to prepare.

There are some things that I have noticed in these past 3 days. I do not feel as sluggish nor bloated after I eat. I have more energy and my concentration is a lot better. I can only imagine how much better I will feel after 30 days. Everyone pray for me and we can all reach our goals as long as we stick together and support one another.

I will keep everyone updated on my progress!

ttyl

I'm getting those thoughts of wanting to give up. Hopefully it's just because I'm ridiculously stressed out with my university assignments. I've been cheating a bit this week because I was trying to arrange an appointment....I'll rephrase: the nutritionist I was trying to arrange a meeting with would only email me and I felt she was giving me the run around. So I told her to forget it until my semester break. I had pinned all of my hopes and had been eating healthier foods until the appointment, which was supposed to be Wednesday just gone, and now I don't know what to do.
Yes, I've been doing well enough on my own and I could find the meal ideas I was looking for online. I'm just horrible when it comes to cooking (it's so boring and I hate it), and I don't really have time. My partner has been working nights, so I've had to juggle assignments, meals and exercise.



I feel so drained right now and I'm falling behind on my studies...

I have a friend staying with me for the weekend, she's been here since Thursday and might go home tomorrow or wait until Monday... I love that girl so much, but I'm about to go crazy here.

I haven't spent time with her the last couple of years from various reasons, so it is nice to finally have the chance...however, spending several days with one person (except my husband) is just not for me. At least not when the person has a personality that takes a lot of space, we're together all day long and the only break is the 7-8 hours of sleep at night, and all we do is basically hang out at home. I am an introvert person, and I need my alone time as that is what "charges my batteries".
I'll probably not go out for days after she leaves, because I need to just recover. Right now I'm very sleepy and it's late, but I just have to sit alone in silence for a while before I go to bed.

I just have to say, I am so tired of these allergies! My allergies are horrible this year! I am so fatigued because of them and I really wish they would just get better or go away!!!

Sigh, I just had to say that!

Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way about company because I feel so guilty when I do. I live in a different state than all of my friends, so when I do see them it is always for an extended period of time. As much as I love them, one night and two days of "hanging" out is pretty much my max before I start craving my alone time. Nothing against them, it's just how my personality is.

Every once in a while I feel this way about my DH, like Thank God it's Monday and he's going back to work. He's driving me crazy! haha

I find it very frustrating how there are charges for researching information on the internet. I wanted to look up a friend and it charges for that, what a rip off!

OK, I'll rant again!

Tonight, I went to my local pool which was SO crowded! I think it was downright unsafe. I am going to talk with someone in the aquatics department, it is dangerous to have too many swimmers! Once, in another pool about 30 mins away that is publicly owned, I almost drowned because the lifeguards weren't paying attention and there were WAY too many people in that pool! Too many swimmers and too few lifeguards is a recipe for disaster!

My upcoming seminar can kiss my butt. Enough said.

Just found out someone I know is pregnant. I try so hard to be happy when I hear of a new baby on the way (and I am happy for them and the new little-one-to-be). It just stings my heart knowing how badly I want my own baby and might never get there. Losing this weight is the best thing I can do to increase my chances. I don't like feeling envious and jealous in a selfish kind of way. But I can't help it.

I am sooooo blasted tired of being cold all the time! Gawd! The temperature in my office at work is between 75 and 78 degrees and I'm still cold. This is just nuts. The only time I'm warm anymore is when I'm taking a hot shower or when I'm in bed with the electric blanket cranked up.

WOW, I feel angry and depressed.

My psychiatrist's office rescheduled with me again which, I personally think is unacceptable because this is the third or so time that this has happened and they can't get me in for another month after the time that he won't be in! I am undergoing a medicine change, this is unacceptable.

Also, I have iron deficient anemia and my hemoglobin levels dropped from 11.4 to 10.7 in ONE MONTH!! That is a significant drop for me, no wonder why I am so tired! My hematologist should have called me about my lab work, instead of wasting my time showing me a video of his newborn baby at my last office visit, when I waited an hour and a half to see him!! I usually wait an hour but I was not bargaining for this crap, to see some lousy video and then him not call me about my labs! What the ****!? I am finding a new doctor!

I didn't ovulate this month. I did last month but really late, so there was only a 9 day luteal phase ... I hope soo much that not losing any more weight, as well as kicking my bulimic habits will fix this. I hope I don't have to gain weight to fix this. I'm worried that I'm not one of those people who can be healthy at a weight that I think looks good, but that I'll have to make health take precedence and gain some weight back

Feeling bloated, PMSy and trying like HECK to ignore my dumb fake hunger cravings.

I've lost the entire laundry pile of my younger son's clean socks and underwear....it was on the bed with the rest of the laundry yesterday....teenager put the laundry away...we've both searched up and down and it's nowhere to be found, not mixed in with other piles, not put away in the wrong place....just...gone lol....*sigh*