Those situations suck, but either he'll be honest or he won't. If he's a decent guy she could be naked, feeding him alcohol and bribing him but he'd still be faithful.
What's their relationship?
He seems honest but my previous relationship was emotionally damaging so sometimes it's difficult to separate my anxiety from reality. I'm smart enough to know I'm anxious though so I try not to leap before I look.
He added her on FB about a week ago; I don't know who sent the invite or how it came about though. I didn't pay too much attention to it until I posted a photo of him and a conversation occurred in which she took part. Through that conversation, I realized she has a class with him. I've had that class myself so I thought, "How did she get close to him, close enough to be a FB Friend, in a class like that?" I let it go.
Then, I saw him messaging her with a picture of his new pet. Nothing flirty but I'm thinking, again, "Okay?..." I was laying in bed watching a movie with him at the time and when I saw it, I kind of reflexively sat bolt upright and grabbed my phone so I could pretend to look at something while I chewed on my thoughts a bit. It just reminded me of my ex too much. He'd meet a new girl, talk to her every day at least as much as me, if not more, and insist they were just "friends". Somehow it always came out that they were flirting and then we'd fight over it. Typically, I'd be miserable for a few weeks until he stopped or he'd outright dump me and keep the tramp. It felt awful, I'm ashamed that I let it go on for so long.
My bf noticed something was wrong and asked if I was okay. I said I was fine because I wasn't ready to talk about it yet, my thoughts were in a jumble and I thought it would be smarter to think before I speak. I didn't lay back down though so he asked again if I was okay. I said I was so he said, "Then come here" and pulled me back over. I just couldn't relax though, my thoughts were racing over how close they seemed to be already.
When it came up again, I finally asked who she was and he was very calm about it. He said she's a girl he's had a few classes with and that nothing is going on but if she ever does begin to flirt with him, he'll be sure to tell her to back off. That helped but then last night, when he went to send me a FB message so I wouldn't forget some link he wanted me to look at later, I saw that her chat thread was the very last one he responded to. This girl who is someone he's "just had some classes with" has gone from acquaintance to daily chat buddy and that's saying something considering he's not always the most talkative via text and he doesn't have a lot of friends. So now every time his phone goes off with a new message I'm thinking, "Great, who is that now?" And when he actually grabs it to answer, I get a little mad even though it's silly.
I dislike that she seems to talk to him all the time. He's my boyfriend, why are you messaging him off and on all day every day? Isn't that a bit fast for someone you "just had a few classes with" but apparently didn't have contact with outside of those classes? I'm uncomfortable, I'm very uncomfortable. The more I think about it, the madder I get...thank God for this thread. I just need to release the aggression somewhere safe because I know I could very well be wrong about all this - that doesn't stop it from building so... I don't like her and I have no intentions of changing that anytime soon. In fact, my only intentions as of this moment in time are continue losing weight, get faster, get stronger, and get back to my own hobbies. I'll still be his girl, I'll still spend time with him, but he's got her jumping him so I guess my attention isn't as needed right now.
Yes, I know I'm throwing a fit...just in case anyone was wondering... I don't intend to fight him, I just write when I'm upset and I can't remember the password to my stupid blog. >.< He's still being sweet but the girl...the girl, I don't trust. At all. Not even a little bit. And I'm not the jealous type, ****, most of my friends are men. But I don't hit on them or message them on a continual basis either... He has other female friends, it's just this one that has me on edge.
Oooh, I have one! As some of you know, I graduated in December with a bachelors degree and am job hunting. I didn't work through most of college because I thought (silly me!) that higher grades were more important than work history folding t-shirts at Sears. Apparently not. I've applied to 104 jobs since February, have had a couple interviews, and been turned down (either with or without interview) for 10 jobs.
This latest job was one I felt really good about. They wanted a bachelor's in accounting (I have), Excel experience (I have), and 0-3 years of experience in accounting (I have 0, so I have). The interview went great, the woman was super enthusiastic about me and my qualifications, and I walked out of there 95% sure I was about to be employed.
Got a "you're awesome and stuff but not awesome enough" e-mail from her this morning. Um...what? YOU AREN'T ASKING FOR ANY EXPERIENCE. How can someone have "better" or "worse" states of "no experience" ??
I know I need to be patient and yada yada yada, but seriously! Who do I need to sleep with to get a job around here?! *grumble*
I'd feel the exact same way you do -- Go with your gut, girl, it's almost NEVER wrong. I am dating a serial cheater and even people I KNOW there's nothing going on with I get suspicious over, so I can relate a little bit. I think you should maybe write some of this down on a piece of paper and then approach him about it. As long as you're calm and respectful in voicing your concerns, there should be no problem...
I just wonder why after you asked about her, he immediately was like, "we aren't flirting" ... Sorry, I don't trust anyone when it comes to being faithful. Its a terrible feeling, I'm sorry you feel that way.
lovedancelive: oh girl... You have to deal with one of those girls!!!
My opinion might be a little different because I am married, but I always have to put my foot down when it comes to these types of girls...
If they were friends before you came into the picture, it would be somehow understandable, but even those good friends know when it's just too much.
I know too well those type of girls, they feed on "talking" to man in a relationship, they are the "cool" friend that "gets" them and you are the overreacting girlfriend...
It seems like you are at the beginning of your relationship, so you should let him know now what bothers you and what is Ok. If he cares enough, he will stop chatting daily with this girl, if he doesn't you know in advance what you are getting into...
I don't think she wants your bf, she just gets pleasure on taking his time away from you.
Talk to him and tell him what bothers you in a nice way, maybe he will get it.
I just wonder why after you asked about her, he immediately was like, "we aren't flirting" ... Sorry, I don't trust anyone when it comes to being faithful. Its a terrible feeling, I'm sorry you feel that way.
He didn't actually; I asked about her and then I explained that my ex would flirt, deny he was flirting, and then make me feel bad about it. He said that she's not flirting but if she ever attempted it, he'd actually stop it - something my ex never did, not once in four years.
@CIELOARGE
That makes sense, I've met girls like that, too. Several. They didn't really want my ex but they liked playing the "game". So sick, I couldn't do that.
Here is how I understand their "friendship" based on the little that I've seen -
They had classes together.
They have one together now.
Somehow they exchanged info and/or decided to connect on Facebook.
Now they're talking on what seems to be a regular basis.
I don't know what they talk about, I don't know how often/much (but it seems regular), I don't know how the FB thing came up, I don't know if they sit together in class (which would be weird given that it's a small class in a large auditorium and there are only God knows how many seats), etc.. But I do know that he's getting closer to me...I just don't know how this is going to resolve itself. It's obviously on my mind and I am clearly uncomfortable. But at the same time, he's treating me well and when I played a video game with a guy friend a few days ago, he admitted it made him feel a little jealous even though he also knew I wasn't doing anything wrong. So that shows interest and I imagine he understands if he feels it sometimes, too.
Did you tell her any of that? I recently had a friendship implode because a friend of mine asked my advice about an affair she's having with a married man. She didn't like my answer and relegated me to "acquaintance" status after that. I deeply resent that she did that to me. She asked. I answered. Our friendship of several years should have been strong enough for me to express my concern and empathy for the man's wife without my friend ditching me. I haven't had the courage to actually come out and say it yet, though. I probably should.
I know exactly what you mean. Your friend (like mine) expected you to be a "yes man" and validate her views/behavior. She never wanted your honest opinion. My so called "friend" does the exact same b.s.
I have not told her any of it. I know that I should, but part of me is frustrated that we never have talked it out when we've had a disagreement (a.k.a her being mad at me); she usually would just quit talking to me a for a few months and each time I would say enough is enough and call her to apologize knowing full well I wasn't wrong. I decided to be the bigger person because our friendship was more important than whatever the issue was. This time was the last straw. It was a similar to your situation. She talked badly about and than asked my opinion about a mutual friend. I responded she's alright with me. She hung up and that was that.
This time it was her that had to initiate contact... it took her 3 years lol I'm pissed that I always apologized for the sake of our friendship and she is the one WRONG and she wont even acknowledge it. She thinks we can just go back to where we were just like that. NO.
This time it was her that had to initiate contact... it took her 3 years lol I'm pissed that I always apologized for the sake of our friendship and she is the one WRONG and she wont even acknowledge it. She thinks we can just go back to where we were just like that. NO.
Good for you. I need to develop a backbone and stand up for myself, too.
My gripe today- my dog ate my best sunglasses- a pair of Smith Pivlocks that I got for a screaming deal ($38 vs the $180 they list at) that I can't replace for even close to what I paid for them, and she also ate the thumb off one of my gloves. She's so lucky I love her.
My rent is going up $25 and the landlord is coming to town Monday so we have to scramble to clean everything and he might be moving here in the fall. -___-
This will be my first post to the JFWZ....here I go:
I am fed up with people in the grocery store or work or wherever that feel I need a 6 foot wide berth. I know I am big but I am not 6 feet wide. I mean good Lord people! They see me coming and practically flatten themselves against the wall.
I'm furious, have been for two days. My ex thought it would be a horribly great idea to message me with, "I have a girlfriend and she makes me happy". And it's the same ugly tramp who cheated with him in December of 2011 and then again all through October to January of this year.
****, I didn't even know she was still around! And here I am, living my life, happy with my new boyfriend, and they both jointly decide hey, let's go beat the emotional **** out of her again! I think my ex and this female are as close to pure evil as I've ever been.
What's sad is, she puts out all the time, she's trash that way. But she can't get his heart, he's still in love with me and has blatantly said he'd leave her in a heartbeat if I ever came calling. So I think the torment she's experiencing now is hilarious and greatly entertaining because she earned it and so did he. It's why she convinced him to take a shot at me again - she said it was to "be honest" but what was there to be honest about? It was over, we were broken up, he had no right to come back and say, "BTW, that entire time we tried to reconcile, yeah, I was screwing an acne plagued orca whale." That was selfish and disgusting and she knew it. The whole point was to try to get rid of me because no matter what she does, she can't break his bond with me. Not even this broke it, he was still begging for forgiveness all day yesterday.
I don't want him, I don't want him around, I am not his friend and never will be. She made sure of that. And every day he looks at her ugly face, he has to think this is the female who finally removed me from his life entirely. She got precisely what she wanted and now he's suffering for it and she doesn't care.
It's funny. It's hilarious. Because he used to let other girls hurt me all the time. And now finally, one girl came along and hurt him in the process. And he's stuck with her.
It's a great day when two terrible people are locked together in torment after spending so long tormenting others.
aahh i'm so depressed...when problems hit me, they hit me hard and all at once...
today i was supposed to return to uni but i overslept and now i'm gonna miss classes and have to go tomorrow and i hate dragging my huge bag.
lately i've been waking up way too late, always after 2 pm, i even skip classes just so i can sleep ....and the problem is that i read all night and then i sleep during the day.
i'm tired of this weight stall,right now i have to deal with 100 things at once and my nerves are so bad and i snap all the time at my fam. to reduce the anxiety.
everyone is full of high expectations for me, and yesterday i had a mini breakdown about my college and that i will never get a job.
i'm almost broke for the first time in my life and i just wanna spend even more. now i understand kinsella's shopaholic :/
I just need to release the aggression somewhere safe because I know I could very well be wrong about all this - that doesn't stop it from building so... I don't like her and I have no intentions of changing that anytime soon. In fact, my only intentions as of this moment in time are continue losing weight, get faster, get stronger, and get back to my own hobbies. I'll still be his girl, I'll still spend time with him, but he's got her jumping him so I guess my attention isn't as needed right now.
