I am so glad to hear that you are safe Megan! My heart was pounding and I felt like I was having an anxiety attack when I wasn't sure you were safe. You have impacted many people here and we are all very worried about you and in awe of your strength and courage. I just know that everything is going to work out for you. Hang in there sweetie.
So glad to hear you are safe. You can still access that money, even without your bank cards. I hope the divorce goes smoothly - at least there are no propertiy issues or kids to sort residency for so it shouldn't be too expensive.
I am so extremely glad to read that you are on your way, and are safe and comfortable with your kitties. There will be tough times as you legally untangle yourself from him, but much, much better things are ahead for you. You have shown incredible strength, and I know it will carry you through to all the great things in your future.
Speaking as a mod, we'd be happy to delete the thread if you want -- but all of the information is already in Google's cache. My suspicion is that it's not going away any time soon, even if this thread is deleted. Perhaps a lesson to all of us to be careful about the details we post online.
megan- sooooo happy to hear you are safely on the way home. please have a safe trip. and make sure to either block his number, or better yet change yours, as soon as you have the chance. most phone companies can do it while you are on the phone with them if you call them from a different phone.
Megan, I'm so glad to hear you're safe an you stood strong when you saw him. Your counselors were right that he wasn't typical, and I'm sure having them all say what they did really hit home for you. And a previous restraining order. Wow. I'm just so glad you're safe and you got out now.
Glad to hear you're safe! I can't believe he told you to get in the car. Scary stuff!
Please be careful. He sounds unstable. Have you notified his commander about what's going on?? I'm pretty sure they can make sure he doesn't get permission to leave long enough to go after you, depending on how far away you are. I think the rule in the AF is the member can't be more than a day off duty station without getting leave approved or at least notifying someone he's leaving. I don't know how things are in the Army, but his behavior can get him into a LOT of trouble. I would love to say the military wouldn't hire a dangerous person (I can't believe they looked past the restraining order and self-inflicted bodily injury) but they do. Imho, he could be a danger at work too. I'm not saying you should or have to notify them of his behavior, but it's something you might want to think about. Military members have to pass psych evaluations regularly, but a lot of them straight up lie on them so they don't fail. They have those evaluations for a reason. Reporting him might cause more problems for you though. The military claims things will be anonymous, but they rarely are. I know from experience. So there is a chance he would find out, and an even bigger chance that he would assume, it was you that turned him in and make him even angrier. It's a tough situation, and ultimately, you have to protect yourself first and foremost.
BTW, you are STILL a card carrying military dependent. You have access to free legal assistance through JAG just like your husband does. The thing is, I don't think they can represent both of you. You can also get counseling paid for through your insurance. I think it's 6 sessions or more, based off of your doctor's recommendation. Also, by law, he can't lock you out of your joint accounts and by taking your debit card he has messed up. Look into it. You have rights! Don't let him bully you into thinking you don't!
I wish you nothing but the best! If you need any support or advice from a fellow military wife, hit me up! We're all in this together.
Last edited by Pint Sized Terror; 03-23-2011 at 10:03 AM.
Megan, I've followed this all along, but have nothing to add except my good wishes.
Maybe my contribution is to echo everyone's faith in your resilience & your intelligence & the better future that you're moving toward.
I remember you expressing your frustration at job prospects at one point, or at how your days were passing -- I can't remember which now -- and thinking that you were a smart girl who was maybe looking for an opportunity for something more fulfilling & a way to shine with your talents.
What were you thinking about going to grad school for? Did you have any particular schools in mind?
I'm asking in case thinking ahead & dreaming helps you out.
I want you safe, but selfishly, I'd hate seeing this outpouring from the 3FC community vanish as if it had never happened, as it would if it were deleted. (Okay, I'm forgetting the Google cache.) There have been so many amazing stories here -- women talking about their lives -- their big tests in adversity -- and they're still here, damn it, and they're able to tell us all about it now. It's been very, very moving. Women's stories are always a great part of this forum, but you have really united a lot of disparate people all over the U.S. -- and globally -- and that's been an amazing thing to witness from on the other side of a computer screen. I mean, this has been an awesome thread.
I only wish it hadn't required your pain & grief to come into being.
I am so glad you and your furbabies are safe. Pintsized is right, you should make sure his commander knows about everything. Stay safe and stay strong!
Pint is right about JAG. They cannot represent both of you and obviously he'll most likely have them represent him. It's probably honestly better for you to just find a civilian lawyer anyway, they'll definitely have your best interests in mind.
I also think his actions should be made known, but the fact that he's an officer makes it muddy. It is probably in your best interest to let it go, it's just ugly to think of a man like that being in charge of other soldiers. It might not matter though since you talked to the Family Advacacy people. Of course from what you said they don't sound like they were all that helpful. But if they got your name or his I think they are supposed to report acts of abuse and violence.
I also hope you won't delete this as it shows the power of women and how much we care for each other. Sean probably knows where you are likely to go and what you are likely to do and unless you change your name and cut all ties with family he will find out. I don't say this to scare you but just reminding you to the obvious. Just be careful but move ahead as you are doing. You are smart and brave young lady and I wish you the best in the future. You will go through some tough days but you will survive and will come out on top better and stronger than ever.
So there is a chance he would find out, and an even bigger chance that he would assume, it was you that turned him in and make him even angrier. It's a tough situation, and ultimately, you have to protect yourself first and foremost. 
