Once again, I am enjoying the posts here. I have great appreciation for those of you who are working this program consistently. It truly is a lifestyle change rather than a diet.
For me: bleh, 164.8 again!! It's not for lack of trying or sticking to my plan. I am eating less food per day than I have in over 20 years (going back to the constant dieting days of my teens) and the weight just wants to stay.
The other bad news is, I really want to quit. But what would I do instead? I have found such freedom in planning my food and eating OP. The fatigue is talking to me today and I'm just being honest, but a 5 pound (give or take) weight loss in 5 months, is NOT what I was expecting. And these last 2 pounds I am really having to fight for.
The good part is, my IBS tummy feels so much better with small portions (and no dairy, I'm guessing). Plus, I feel fit, knowing that I am getting lots of exercise.
But... I'm discouraged. I was so hoping to be 162 or less by the end of the year.
I will start on some specialized supplements for Chronic Fatigue, in a week or so. Perhaps they will give me some of my life back and I will be able to carry on with this. I think my current goal needs to be something like: maintain until I feel better. I have been battling fatigue since 1998, so to even hope for some relief is a stretch for me, but I'm trying to hope!
I'm sorry this is the raw, honest me in the place I now find myself. Probably not much fun to read...
I am still here. I've been having problems navigating the site. It's really slow and then I'll get kicked out and a error message. I'm hoping it's just the site and not my computer. And I really hope this post gets posted.
Since I started the program 22 days ago, I've lost 8.8 lbs...down to 153.0 as of this morning.
I'm planning meals daily, eating everything sitting down and eating slowly. I read my response cards and advantage cards daily. When I begin noticing I'm not really thinking about what I'm reading, I rewrite the cards and state it a different way to keep it fresh. Or when I start slipping with my plans, allowing too much wiggle room, I'll create a response card to address the behavior.
I'm finding that I do seem to be changing the way I think about eating. This system seems to really work. I can see applying it to other areas as well.
I realized this morning when I was doing my daily routine that I'm feeling a little impatient...well actually... real impatient. I'm wanting to get to the next 5lbs lost so that I can get my next reward...a small pink bracelet to wear with my white bracelet. It seems to be taking so long. But really it's not been that long. I've only been using this system for 22 days and 8.8 lbs lost...that's almost 3lbs per week. That's really better than I thought I would do.
Patience...I must be patient. I don't want to do anything foolish and throw myself off. I will keep reminding myself....it's not about weight loss anyway. It's about being sane and self-controlled with food for the rest of my life. The weight loss is an added perk.
The weight wasn't my biggest concern, it was my behavior with food. That is what made me feel bad. I felt like I was out of control and being controlled by something else. I felt a loss of self-respect and trust in myself to take care of myself. So the weight loss is just data that tells me that my behavior with food is improving.
Just checking in to say that I just picked up Beck Diet for Life at my local library today and I'm excited after reading the first few chapters. I saw some articles, YouTube stuff and her website this weekend, and I really think this is what I need. I need to be told the hard truth that if I keep doing what I have been doing, I will stay the same fat, unfit person that I am today.
So I am so excited to see all of you here! YaY! I really need a diet buddy, I really need to be kept accountable. Thanks for being here, and thanks to BillBlueEyes for starting this and keeping this wonderful thread going for YEARS. This is real dedication. THANK YOU!
I'm just starting on my tasks now. I will pull together a 3-ring binder for my diet notebook and graph paper. Need to go to the office supply store for the index cards and business cards and the boxes.
Oh, my background: I have been overweight, gulp, for most of my adult life. It's hard to admit that, but it is true. I have successfully lost significant weight two or three times. Usually have done low carb. Last time I lost about 100 pounds (233 to 133) on low carb/low fat/low calories, but when I started sneaking back in some starchy carbs that I had been restricting myself from for a year, well, you know what happened. I soon went overboard, and that devilish voice inside me kept saying that "I will eat whatever I want, when I want and how much I want - mwaaa." I gained back all that I had lost in about six months - it took a year to lose that weight. I'm having a hard time believing that I can lose weight on any other type of plan, but I don't want to repeat that last mistake. I must learn to eat a balanced and portion controlled diet, without restricting a major food group.
So I will read this book and check in with all of you on this beautiful supportive thread. Any suggestions, tips, words of wisdom will surely be appreciated. Hope to hear from you!
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Too many Christmas breads appeared in my path; I sampled - good enough - then sampled again. Ouch. There is a difference between sampling and using sampling as a label for stuffing it in. Recovered for the rest of the day.
Loved walking in the daylight, not exactly warm, but indeed daylight; CREDIT moi.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for knowing that your guests are going to appreciate healthy food. [LOL right back at "LOLlipop story".]
Shepherdess - Shuddering at the thought of starting out at (-7) degrees Fahrenheit to avoid starting out when it gets cold. Ouch for facing "cold, hungry, tired" - real challenges those. Kudos for surviving to fight another day. Good luck on your drive to California.
Marci (madrikh) - Yep, "bleh" leads to "want to quit" and "discouraged." Kudos for just facing that so you can look for which of your strategies can help you stay the course which will help the old neurons decide to generate more positive feelings. Sounds like fatigue is a tough thing to fight. We're hanging in there with you.
Blue Daisy - Methinks you nailed it with, "It's about being sane and self-controlled with food for the rest of my life." Kudos for being committed enough to notice that you aren't responding to your Cards and that a rewrite can make them fresh. For slow browser, sometimes dumping my cookies and cache has done wonders for me. Also, the site is said to run faster when you're logged in.
Cinemom - Just love being reminded of "if I keep doing what I have been doing, I will stay the same." Kudos for jumping right in with your 3 ring binder and a trip to get the index cards and boxes.
I recognize that devilish voice notion - the thought that this little stuff couldn't really apply to me. Kudos for outing that so you can wrestle it down. And thanks for the kind words; Yep, I've been on here forever, but we've got two active posters who were from the original group six months before I'd heard of Beck.
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 12 How to Stay at Your New Weight
Okay, now you need to learn how to stay there: . . . Create a Maintenance Advantages Response Card. Create a new card that reflects all the reasons that you don't want to regain weight. Use the Advantages Response Card you created before you started to lose weight for help in creating your card for maintenance. What benefits of weight loss have come true for you? Have you experienced additional unexpected advantages that you hadn't written on your card? List all of these on your new card, after the following sentence: "I want to maintain my weight loss because I want to continue to ... ." Pull it out when you need it, whenever you're tempted to eat more or exercise less. . . .
The Beck Diet Solution, pg 280.
Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 12-20-2010 at 10:41 PM.
Reason: Good grief: Marci (madrikh) - for MaryContrary
first off, credit for weighing in this morning, and a big hrmph at the number: 281.4 (+4lb) for my weekend which ended yesterday night.
Wow. I lived a Food-Centered-Universe from DH's staff xmas party riday night to our foray to the grocery store when we were too tired & bought breaded frozen chicken wings which seemed to taste like the BST FOOD EVER as I chowed down with abandon right before bed!
Can you choice a worse thing to do?
I think not.
O WELL.
If I went by BBE's definition of "rare and unusual" foods DH' staff party was surely that from start to finish. I had ZERO resistance. No one did. We were all in awe. Truly. it was dinner theatre where food was the star and the servings were all acts in a play. Plus it was open bar and the wait staff were always at hand, 2 per table of 8 at least, always there to refill your wine glass and your water glass. You never waited for that. After every course all the dishes were removed, the table cleare3d and re-set for the next course. The couple across from us commented that it was "better than their wedding where they had the buffet"! That was the only comparison I could draw on too. It reminded me of Hungarian weddings I had attended as kid where the whole community of Hungarian ladies would cook the food and there were at least 6 courses, served efficiently, one after the other, until you rolled yourself away from the table. So there were pre-hors d'ouvres, then hors d'ouvres, then appetizer platters (2) then a spoon with a smaller-than-a-melonball-ball of homemade lime sorbet to cleanse the palate served on a fancy spoon with a handle turned back and under that was in turn sitting on a small square plate, then the main course, then the dessert platters (2) plus coffee or tea served to you with your own individual tea or coffee press or a cup of cappuciino which I got which came with its own fancy cutlery which turned out to be not cutlery but a chocolate spoon atop the foamy milk, and then there were speeches and then an announcement of "late night ribs available at the bar". None of us could believe our ears at that. We sta down to eat at 6 and were officially done at 10:30! I did choose the fish most of the time. I did try everything though and I did eat to way over-stuffed and I did have unlimited wine. All of us at our table found one thing that was "the best thing I have ever tasted in my entire life". For me it ws the ahi tuna, lightly seared, and with the edges coated in black sesame seeds and panko crumbs. OMG.
Food at MIL the next evening was equally big-roast beef dinner, xmas chocolate dessert, sugary drinks, snacky things. Then big breakfast next morning, flea market stopover on the way home (where I purchased a GENUINE Mexican black velvet Elvis painting for $10!!!! Merry Christmas to moi!!!)
Then home and late grocery run = chicken wings.
O well. lots of salt in me right now.
I was aware of what I was doing and did it anyway, knowing it is a special weekend and knowing it would be like that I guess. I could have done way way better. Now I need to reign it in this week as I get ready for the next, and last, food event: xmas at my brother's house. A one day only thing so once that's behind me it's smooth sailing ahead.
the problem with allowing myself to indulge to this extent is it makes eating *that much* seem normal again. The smaller portions, the lighter fare, seems so unappealing after I have indulged my desires. For me I think this is the true cost; my willingness to eat better and lighter gets eroded away and the light goes on for the MORE! and BETTER! and TRY THIS ONE TOO DON'T MISS OUT whispers to start up again.
And for this reason, today will be an OP day foodwise and exercise wise.
Oh yeah credit for Saturday's zoo visit with 2 hours of walking to see the animals.
Our little party was fun. Everyone complimented our food and I actually got cheers when I said "Dessert is apples or oranges."
WI: -0.3kg, Exercise: +0 515/1500 minutes for December, Food: 75%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
madrikh: Love that you "have found such freedom in planning my food and eating OP." That's a big deal for me. This is not just an effective way to lose weight; it's a better way to live.
BlueDaisy: hope your experience of the site improves. You might try a different browser. Great job rewriting the cards to keep them fresh!
Welcome, Cinemom! I think you may like the diet in the green book. It's fairly low carb, but not as low as a lot of popular plans.
BillBlueEyes: good catch and recovery from the Christmas bread ouch.
onebyone: thanks for the description of all the parts and roles of your dinner theater of a party! Definitely sounds like a fun and decadent evening that I wouldn't want to experience more than once a year or so.
I definitely agree that the hard part of indulgence is getting back on plan. So much, that most of the time I skip the indulgence or keep it tightly controlled so that I don't have to experience the pain of re-entry. But this took lots of practice, and blowing it, and re-evaluating what strategies would work better next time, and more practice.
Happy Birthday to me. I turned 47 years old this week. There are so many firsts and I am so grateful for the success I have had. This is the first birthday EVER in which I have weighed less then what my driver's license says. This is the first Bday EVER I have not had a BMI classified as overweight. This is the first family bday party (this past weekend) when my mom made me macaroni and cheese and I didn't go home sick to my stomach from eating half of it. In fact, I ate none of it. I couldn't face my "number one trigger food" and risk that sick feeling again. I packed a small sandwich, ate some of the salad and had a fabulous time. Guess what? Noone even noticed. I know my ticker says I have lost about 15 pounds but that is the most recent goal. When I was 18 I topped out at 205, as when I had DS who is now 8. So all these things are great gifts for the little girl who grew up in Malibu, covered herself with a towel to hide from the surfers who would call out their windows "no fat chicks."
I don't know which part of my program has made me successful after years of failure. Is it Beck, this forum, the zone diet, the multi vitamin and the Fish Oil? I have always loved exercised and it was never enough. Maybe it is because they work together. In any case, I am not changing a thing. For today, I am willing to walk in faith and action. I always knew this life was possible, I just never thought it was possible for me.
P.S. Yesterday we celebrated with family at a huge trampoline warehouse - wall to wall trampolines and in the dead center a huge trampoline dodgeball court. Of the hundreds of people there jumping, I was the ONLY woman older than 20 in the fray - dodging, weaving, and diving - actually winning a dodge ball round! I was triumphant. I lost the opportunity for such fun when I was young because of my being trapped in obesity. This life does give us second chances. Madrikh and Blue Daisy: I do hear your frustrations - weightloss that is too slow and the constraints of daily mindfulness. I rebel, too. I had hoped for 150 by my bday. Then I remember last year's bday. I had tried to lose weight for six months and I found myself five pounds heavier with no more solutions. This will work if you work it. Cinemom: Welcome BBE: I tell you what, we'll switch parties. I could take or leave XMAs bread - so I'll go to your event if you will come the house of 5 pounds of See's candy. Then we can take a walk together, smiling in triumph. onebyone: It is true, that after I indulge, the scariest part is trying to get back to restraint. I'm never sure I'll make it back. gardenerjoy: I like the bold move of fruit for dessert. What could be better?
Thanks all, I feel very welcome here. I'm taking baby steps, so excuse me if I have lots of questions in the beginning, cuz I am just starting to read Judith Beck's green book. I'm just going to jump right in where we are and hit the ground running and try not to feel too behind! (Just like Flylady says)
It's funny how I found Beck. I was on Oprah.com this weekend and searching for diet advice. I wanted to find a reasonable eating plan that I could actually stick with FOR LIFE, rather than a "diet." I know real well how to diet, but I'm not so good on the maintenance part. And I have recognized for a long time that the brain-body connection is going to be critical for my success in the long-run, so I have been looking out for this kind of advice, too.
So on Oprah.com I saw Martha Beck and her 4-Day Win book. Very funny and very interesting. It addressed the things I was looking for, including "Thinner Peace" which really resonated. So I did some more searching on Google and found Judith Beck. And it just so happened that I finally got an email from my library that "Women Food and God" came in - I had been on the waiting list for months. So I went to the library to pick it up, and found both Martha and Judith's books, too, and brought them home yesterday. Of course, I haven't read them all, but in reviewing, it seems that Judith's book really lays out her plan step-by-step. I think I'll find some wisdom in Martha's book, but Judith's will be the blueprint that I will follow. It turns out that they are not related, but they seem to have very similar approaches dealing with cognitive therapy.
I found you all on 3 Fat Chicks when searching for "Diet Buddy." When I lost the 100 pounds a few years ago, I was on a doctor's program where I saw the doc and dietician every two weeks. That was built-in accountability that really worked for me. I am a "good soldier" type and wanted to please. But when I reached goal, and the program ended, I really felt at a loss when that hand-holding was gone. Even when I KNEW how to eat right, and loved my lightness, I started having strong cravings when I introduced carbs back into my diet. And my brain just went WILD CHILD (martha beck reference) on me.
Sorry for the long-winded response. I'm just glad to be here and starting over with a new perspective. Thank you.
Cinemom! It's certainly interesting how we each find our way here.
maryann, Happy Birthday!
I'm very tired, but thought I'd check in since tomorrow just seems to be getting busier. I read everyone's posts then thought, "Is it still Monday?" It's been a sane day with food but I'll keep it brief because I am headed downhill fast.
*credit* for sticking with my plan today. Exercise was non existent, but I did park the car at the very end of the lot at the mall.
Hi folks - checking in. Food everywhere I turn... it's all the goodies that come with the season. I wish I was not a sugar/food junkie - wishing doesn't go too far in this area. It's the 'doing' that makes it happen. It's doing: a plan, writing it down, reading my cards, and all the tasks that help make sanity with food happen. The past couple of days I have been frantic around food.
Today I have a plan - a friend is coming over and salads are planned. Time to tatoo the going out of town response card to my brain.
The past is over - planning for the days ahead is key.
Soon, we will be leaving for DH's sister, ... then on to DS's home.
Cinemom - WELCOME!!!!
MaryAnn - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 12-21-2010 at 06:27 AM.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Woke up at 2 am EDT to watch the lunar eclipse. Not surprisingly, with snow continuing to fall, it wasn't visible. D*rn!!! Driving home from work was treacherous because people weren't expecting slick ice conditions for the first time of the year.
Eating was OP (CREDIT moi) with no seasonal temptations appearing - perhaps a lull within the hurricane. Walking to the gym (CREDIT moi) was slippery, slippery, slippery.
onebyone - WOW indeed at your tale of the "Food-Centered-Universe." Kudos for recognizing that as a one time event instead of the beginning of the slippery slope and for planing to get right back on plan. I am insanely jealous of your "GENUINE Mexican black velvet Elvis painting for $10!!!!" - although it might cost me a divorce if I bought it home, LOL.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - I got goosebumps reading that you got cheers for "Dessert is apples or oranges." Loved the contrast between your dinner party and onebyone's.
Beverlyjoy - Busy time with the whirlwind of seasonal goodies. Glad that your travels will take you to see your DGS laugh therapist.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Yep, some days a long walk in the parking lot is what we can do. Kudos for a sane Monday with food.
maryann - Happy Birthday. May you have 47 more and 47 more after that. Monster Kudos for handling the macaroni and cheese - it's a lesson for us all that no one noticed, that you weren't humiliated in front of the others, and that your mom wasn't devastated. [Yep, I'm ready to switch parties. Will be easy for me since I have no idea what See's candy is.]
By-the-by, at Whole Foods, I sampled a roasted walnut coated with chocolate powder. To. Die. For. I hope you grow yours that way, especially at the price Whole Foods charges for those. Which reminds me, I wanted to ask: Does the farmer have to remove the thick husks from the walnuts? Those are tough.
Cinemom - Neat to start out with baby steps and Kudos for ignoring whether you feel ahead or behind. Just learn the strategies and keep on going. LOL at the convoluted path that brought you here. I just recently discovered that Martha Beck also exists, so I'm going to read one of her books so that I'll know the difference. People frequently confuse the two.
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 12 How to Stay at Your New Weight
Okay, now you need to learn how to stay there: . . . Anticipate the amount of effort required for maintenance. Have you heard that it's harder to maintain your weight loss than it is to lose it initially? I've not found this to be true among the dieters I've worked with. The course of maintenance frequently follows the same course as dieting. It's easier in the beginning, at some point it gets more difficult, and then it gets easier again. It stays easier most of the time, with intermittent periods when it's more difficult. It's important for you to have this expectation, or you'll be disappointed when maintenance occasionally requires more effort. If you don't realize that this is normal, you might get discouraged, put in less effort, and then regain weight. Make yourself a Response Card to remind yourself that maintenance is supposed to be hard at times, but that it will get easier again. . . .
The Beck Diet Solution, pg 280.
Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 12-21-2010 at 02:50 PM.
Had to share this. DIL told me that my GS is beside himself with excitement over his Advent Calendar. He can hardly contain himself to wait for the next day to open a new window. So, DIL spotted him taking a peek ahead of time. Busted.
(Good problem solving skills )
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 12-21-2010 at 07:05 AM.
I'm sitting in my Mom's kitchen in snowy / icy Louisville, KY, waiting for butter to soften so that I can begin the baking chores I've been assigned. LOL. I've mentioned in the past that I have a weakness for cookie dough, so I've put onto my plan "1 T of cookie dough, sitting down and eating slowly." Here's hoping.
I've decided to use this 2-week visit with Mom to take care of myself (as well as her). I did NOT complete a very rough draft of the next diss chapter. Feeling pretty down about this, pretty cranky. But there is something about the holidays that makes it hard to sit down and do the "daily grind." So much is special about this time of year.
SO, in packing for this trip I ran across a notebook I had purchased ages ago (I'm addicted to office supplies), a "project planning notebook." It's more fancy that the other notebook I was using to track my success skills and my food plans. And it's more compact, which I think will help me to be succinct in practicing my Beck skills. I packed this notebook, and the plan is to get back on track with my skills and my planned eating. I'm going to decorate the book, and make it all pretty for the new year. The new me!
CREDIT MOI: starting on the NB last night, though I was exhausted from a day of traveling. Taking the stairs and the normal walking paths (not the moving sidewalks) in airports. Sticking to a protein shake (no sugar) in the airport. Resisting Mom's famous sand-tarts. Making a plan for handling my emotions around my dissertation, money problems, and family stress. And checking in with y'all!
Just lifted a 5 lb. bag of flour (for the baking extravaganza) -- and I must say I'm impressed with myself. Thanks -- shepherdess for qtng maryblu -- for giving me this very tangible CREDIT MOI.
It seems to be taking so long. But really it's not been that long. I've only been using this system for 22 days and 8.8 lbs lost...that's almost 3lbs per week. That's really better than I thought I would do. 
Monday
Reporting in *ahem*
hrmph at the number: 281.4 (+4lb) for my weekend which ended yesterday night. 
and BETTER! 
Cinemom! It's certainly interesting how we each find our way here. 
)
P.s.
