1. I think I might have an obsession about losing weight. When I was laying in my sick bed and bent over in pain all I could think about was "omg I cant work out" and "I'm not counting points" instead of "what do I have to do to feel better?".
-I confess that I weight myself every time I go into the bathroom at home - and again at the gym.
-I confess that if the scale is up even .2, it puts me in a negative mood.
-I confess that I am happy that my sister-in-law's *ss is bigger than mine! (and I feel guilty about it )
-I confess that I constantly compare myself to other women.
-I confess that I feel fat and lumpy when in the company of someone who is fit and thin.
-I confess that part of my reason for wanting to lose weight is to be able to wear a normal length pair of shorts and feel GREAT!
-I confess that I can not WAIT to wear a pair of jeans with a t-shirt tucked in!
I confess that I'm kind of freaked about being close to my goal weight... I'm worried I can't actually do it. I don't think I've ever accomplished anything major in my life, I feel like "What makes you think you can do this?"
I confess that the above reason is why I quit trying over the summer and gained 5 pounds back.
I read through this forum and saw myself in each and every one of the posts. It is both heartbreaking and a little satisfying to know that I am not alone in my struggles.
Here are my confessions:
-I confess that I get up in the middle of the night to weigh myself, then weigh myself again in the morning.
-I confess that I want to lose weight is so when my husband and I go to military balls, I won't feel embarrassed for him.
-I confess that I want to lose weight because we live near a beach. That is not the confession, this is: an old boyfriend from high school wants to get together with my husand and I on his boat on the water and I haven't seen him in 18 years, when I was super skinny. I don't want to see him until I make goal.
-I confess that I work for a really hot F-16 pilot, and I want to look extra good when I go to work.
-I confess that the only time I usually cheat on my diet is on Saturday nights, when I have a couple glasses of white wine.
I know there are more confessions inside of me, but these are the big ones for me right now.
1. I worry, like some others here, that even when I get to my goal weight, I won't look good. I feel like I've ****ed up my body for life with all of these stretch marks, not to mention that I may have loose skin. I'm TERRIFIED of having a sagging stomach.
2. Sometimes, I don't feel like I'm good enough for weight loss or a healthy life. I think that I'll never have the willpower to truly make a difference, despite that I've already lost 15 pounds.
3. Every so often, I stall on losing weight because my mom is morbidly obese. I'm afraid that if I get down to my goal weight, she's going to feel alone (although this may be a cop-out of mine).
4. I have this lie in the back of my head that everyone is going to suddenly treat me better and want to be my friend if I wasn't so fat. Also, I won't allow myself to get a boyfriend because if I hate the way my body looks, then no guy should see me. I do get lonely, though...and this leads me to my last confession.
5. I'm super jealous of a good friend of mine. She's the prettier one and ALWAYS gets guys hitting on her, while I'm left in the shadows. She actually used to be bigger than me, but she's slimmed down to about 145-150. I mean, she's still overweight and everything, but I still feel like this fat, awkward blob when I'm around her.
Also, I secretly want her to fail and gain all of her weight back because it burns me up inside to know that she lost weight the unhealthy way (hcg "diet", aka starving yourself) and STILL keeps it off, while I'm actually trying to eat healthy and exercise with slow, if any results. For once, I want to be the pretty one of something. I want her to know how it feels to be completely ignored while I get all of the male attention (Wow, that was so trivial!).
-I love food and that's the reason why i gained the weight in the 1st place.
-The main reason why i want to lose weight is because i once told my colleague that i won't take pictures until i lose some weight and he laughed and said that means i'll never take pictures for the rest of my life!
-I love it when people tell me i look good.
-I'm obsessed with my weight loss, i measure myself every minute and it's my main topic of discussion everytime.
-I barely ate through the month of December because I was going through an emotional time and, instead, got most of my calories through alcohol.
-I am afraid of never busting through this plateau I've been on for over a month.
-I am afraid that once I reach my goal I will gain all my weight back and have to go through this whole process again or just completely give up all together.
-I am always embarrassed of having my picture taken. I make it a point to tell whoever is taking the picture - "from the neck up please!"
-I don't want to quit smoking because I am afraid of gaining weight.
-I think my boyfriend wants me to stay overweight.
-I envy my sister who eats whatever she wants and weighs 30 pounds less than me.
Wow. I see a lot of familiar confessions in there and some I didn't think about before, but now recognize as ones I can relate to.
I confess...
1. My biggest confession is that I have been going through a tough time with hubby and thought that his inattention and taking me for granted was because I have gained weight and he gave up on me losing the weight. Perhaps he thought I wouldn't get attention from anyone else because I was so heavy. It made me want to lose the weight to draw some attention, but at the same time refuse to lose weight until he showed me more attention and affection.
2. My biggest relief was that he has been away for work for several months and didn't know I was losing weight but has been working on showing me how much he lovers and appreciates me. It's like a huge burden off my heart and makes me feel free to lose the weight now without thinking that he's being nicer and more attentive just because I look better.
3. I have lost 15 pounds since he's been gone and have more time to lose more weight but secretly worry that he won't be able to tell that big of a difference.
4. I want to be healthier and also look better, but I want to be lighter for other reasons. He's in shape, but I'm overweight (too heavy) and I want to be able to *ahem* with him standing up. I don't want to be distracted by worry for his back during or worried that he's distracted by how heavy I feel.
5. I've lost a bit of weight and while I'm excited about that, I'm bummed by the toll that pregnancy and nursing two kids have taken on my body. I don't recognize my breasts (of which I used to be proud- i've been asked in the past if I've had a boob job- nope) and I've actually thought that my husband doesn't have to see me without a bra- he's never been a breast many anyway. Maybe whenever I get naked I could just cross my arms to lift them until he's distracted...
6. When I made our Christmas cards this year, only my hubby and the kids were on them because I couldn't find a single picture of myself in the last 12 months. I was shocked to realize how much I've been avoiding the camera, that I haven't allowed a single picture of myself in over a year. I was so sad thinking about how I am editing myself out of my kids' childhood and they won't have single picture of me with them over all the important things that have happened in their lives last year including my son's first day of Kindergarten. It made me cry over that day all over again.
-I confess that I sabotage myself because I'm afraid of succeeding at weight loss.
-I confess that I am jealous of others on this site who were heavier than me this time last year, who now weigh less than I do, while I have lost a whopping one pound, technically. (I gained twenty pounds last year, dropped it plus five more, then gained ten back. I'm losing again, thankfully.)
-I confess that I set goals and rewards for myself, but then tell myself it's OK to have the reward when I haven't met the goal.
-I confess I haven't dated in a year, because I don't want to be the fat girlfriend.
- I was bulimic and cured it with therapy. but I now sometimes binge and still sometimes want to go to the bathroom and I am ashamed of it because I do give in at least one a month...
- I am ashamed of my stomach and my cellulite nomatter if I lose weight or tone my body
- I am obcessed with the scale and let it affect my mood
- I originally started weight loss to be healthy but since then i have lost track of it and obcess over every pound
- I know I will never be under 180 becaus eof my build yet I still wish I could.
I confess that I used a big event to singularly focus on my weight loss and now that it is over, I can't get re-motivated.
I've been chatting with someone on the internet and I'm terrified that when we meet in a month he will be disappointed that I'm not skinny and fit. He knows I run and do sports and I think that skews his image and I'm too big of a chicken to send him a full length picture of my body.
I confess that I've discovered a new-found drive after an ex has attempted to re-open communication. At one point, he admitted that he found me attractive enough to sleep with, but not thin enough to date. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm looking forward to a time when that's changed, and he's looking for lovin'. I'll never touch him again, and I can't wait to hand him a box of tissues and tell him I'm out of his league.
I confess that I'm concerned that I won't be taken as seriously professionally. I work in a male-dominated industry, and I'm one of the few women in the past few workplaces whose opinions was respected and sought-after.
I confess that I'm concerned that my confidence comes from being "invisible" to most men sexually. It's easy to carry yourself well when no one realizes you even exist. When people actually start looking, I just want to disappear.
Last edited by AZ Sunrises; 02-09-2011 at 04:52 PM.
I confess that I love food. I am a hedonist
I confess that I hate the reflection in the mirror
I confess that since I have gained weight I have hidden in the ugliest "don't look at me" clothes I could find.
I have intentional become androgynous
I confess that I have wasted a ton of money on diet supplements and home gym equipment.
I confess that when my oldest son saw a picture of me and said "MOM got FAT!!' I cried ..a lot
I confess that I do not want to meet up with old coworkers who remember me as a "milf"
I confess that feeling this way sucks and colors every perception I have.
)
