Every day is a struggle to do the "right" thing, whether it be exercise, eat right, whatever. Even though I *know* I feel better when I do the right thing, my instinct is to do the wrong thing.
I'm afraid that I'll never be happy with my body, no matter how much I lose. When I was 266, I thought I would kill to weigh 220. Now that I weigh 220, I'm still disgusted with my body. Less disgusted, but disgusted. Now when I think I'd kill to weigh 160, I'm betting I'll still be disgusted with my body, and so on.
I'm another one who automatically looks around a room/event/whatever to see if I'm the fattest person there. I'm thrilled when I'm not.
I'm also another one who sees overweight people and feels smug for looking better... until I see myself in a photo. UGH.
Now that I *am* making the decision to eat better, inside I judge those who don't make the same decisions when we're at a restaurant.
I confess that I regularly check out other women's boobs and butts because I'm jealous as ****...and I'm worried they'll notice and think I'm creepy
I confess that I would love to be skinnier than my roommate - we were about the same weight about a year ago, but she lost close to 50 pounds. Now I actually get happy when I see her eating KFC and Jack in the Box because I know she's off her plan, and I have a chance to catch up~
-I'm the fat girl with the hottie husband. Whenever we're out together I feel sorry for him being "saddled" with me. I also know people see us together and think, "Poor guy. How did he end up with her!?"
-I am so ashamed of myself and my body. I always make excuses so I don't have to go to church because I feel like everyone is looking at my fat *** every time we stand up to sing.
-Growing up my mom was extremely overweight and had the overhanging belly thing which I always thought was revolting. Now I have it too.
-I've gotten to the point where I can't even run. Not even a little bit chasing after the kids.
-I feel like people think I'm smelly and disgusting because I'm overweight
I've already confessed once on this thread, but I'm going to add another one.
I confess that I've slowly but secretly been throwing out all the "holiday" store-bought cookies, candy and snack foods my mother-in-law loaded us up with at Thanksgiving. She was asked to bring only some small cakes from a bakery near her house but she didn't listen and brought so much excess "because it's the holidays." Having all that junk in the house makes my husband munch on it all the time and tempts me to nibble, and neither of us needs the extra unwanted calories. So I've no choice but to make it slowly "disappear."
Edit: Last night at my husband's niece's birthday party, the girl's mom started handing out tins of store-bought butter cookies as the party favor. (She had the same favor last year). She gave me a tin, and walked over to my husband's table and gave him two (!!!) because "he likes cookies!" I made her take one back because he doesn't need more cookies than the rest of us and when she wasn't looking, I snuck my tin back into the stack of extras. When we came home, I hid his tin and it is now the next day and my husband can't figure out where the cookies went. I wouldn't mind keeping the cookies around because I think I have the control to enjoy them in moderation, but I know if my husband gets his paws on that tin, half or more will disappear in one sitting. So the tin will just have to stay "lost" until his scale and my scale move down, not up!
I confess I am afraid to go a different path with my eating
I confess I have abused the low carb way of eating.... after bingeing going extreme and eating no carbs to undo the damage.
I confess while I love the attention I get/got when losing I don't like "too much" attention and deep down feel all of the attention puts ALOT of pressure on me b/c I know I'm being watched so when I do gain a bit back I freak out b/c I'm worried if it shows which leads to more bingeing out of frustration.
I confess I'm no longer trying to be "skinny" rather I am going by how I feel and look
I confess I weigh everyday in the morning before I eat with no clothes on and after using the bathroom.
I confess sometimes I get depressed thinking about how I have been losing the same pounds over and over.
I confess:
- while I wanna be healthy/fit, I won't stop until I'm thin too
- that I judge my success by the scale
- that I never feel like what I'm doing is good enough (i.e., exercise, diet)
- I avoid social settings wherein I will be away from home for either breakfast, lunch or dinner
- Every morning as soon as I wake up, I look at myself in the mirror in my undies and hate what I see in the mirror (bodywise only)
- I really LOVE running but sometimes I feel like I love the couch more
- I really hate hearing about how good I look "for my weight" and about how much "muscle" I must have to weigh this much..grrrrhh!!!
- I feel like a failure for going from a svelt size 6 to size 16 in just over a year
- I secretly want to weigh 140 lbs
- I feel like "wasted potential" when I'm fat, and feel that I could totally show up fitness models like Cory Everson (bodybuilder) if I could finally reach my potential because of my great genetics
Ok...whew...that was GREAT...nice to get all that out! Thanks for starting this thread...I think you just saved me $1,000 in therapist fees..lol!
Last edited by joyfulloser; 12-11-2010 at 07:42 PM.
I confess that I developed Poly Cystic Ovary Diesease, most likely because I used to eat cookies or ice cream at least once every day. Yes, I did it to myself.
I confess I have made up excuses for years, and put up false road blocks that have hindered me losing weight. I always said I couldn't get below 130- but that is BS.
I confess that I have self sabotaged repeatedly, having a binge after I see I have lost weight.
I confess I play roller derby and am scared I wont be able to hit as hard once I lose weight.
I confess that I get chest pains due to being over weight, and have for the past year.
I confess I made a weight loss thermometer that's in my closet for no one else to see, to track my weight loss. I am trying for 115. I want it by June.
I just found this forum and I really liked this thread so here are my confessions:
1. I despise the way I look and constantly feel like everyone is staring at me.
2. I always try to find flaws in every "skinny" person I see just to make myself feel better
3. I have tried everything to lose weight including not eating for days on end and working out till I nearly pass out, I even tried on multiple occasions to make myself sick.
4. I constantly call myself a "fat cow" and at times it gets so bad that people have threatened to slap me if I don't stop.
5. I am addicted to weighing myself, I can not walk past a scale without getting on it.
6. I focus on the minor flaws that are easy to fix (I want braces to fix one tooth that is slightly crooked)
7. I want to lose weight so that I can find the man of my dreams.
8. I am tired of meeting men offline that give you that obvious look of disgust when they see you.
9. I am jealous of anyone who can afford to have gastric bypass.
There are probably more but I can't think right now.
Hi. I'm new to this forum. I confess that I...
1. Eat when I'm emotional; or rather overeat.
2. Slept my way to gaining this much weight. It's like I just woke up one day and found my thighs rubbing together.
3. Relied too much on my husband. If he didn't want to go for a walk, I didn't go for a walk. We used to be very active. He has become sedentary and so have I.
4. I shy away from opportunities because I don't want to be looked at as the "fat girl" in the bunch.
This is it for me. I'm done being fat! I will reach goal this time. Bikini here I come!
I came to this post kind of late but would like to make some confessions too, 1. I resent the fact that my husbands criticism of my weight is NEVER constructive and always mean.2. I haven't worn shorts for almost 20 years and don't really know if I'll ever be happy enough with myself to wear then regardless of how much weight I loose.3. I know a girl that was complaining about gaining weight cause she was wearing a size 3 instead of the 0 she wore last year, I had to fight the temptation to sit on her.4. As. I've lost some weight men are looking at me and it drives my son(14) crazy and I get a kick out of that.
I confess...........................
that for the past few days I have been eating everything in site without a care in the world b/c I feel tomorrow is going to be my new beginning (I do better starting the beginning of a work week). So I've been using it as an excuse.
Eating all of the junk has caused my face to break out!!!
I am afraid to incorporate formal exercising to my "new life" b/c I don't want my weightloss/maintenance to rely on it.
I am setting my "goal weight" higher b/c I don't want to go through the weightloss process only to end up depressed by how my body looks at a much smaller weight. I'm going for looks as well as health.
Although I have no health issues **knock on wood** sometimes I become afraid that this weight is going to kill me.
I confess that even though I want to do this for ME...and that is the ultimate goal, I'd really like to look amazing and rock a hot dress for my 20 year HS reunion this September.
i'm new, i love this forum, and i have confessions for sure, even though i've never been clinically "overweight," but they have to do more with body image and weight maintenance:
- i confess that i've always felt fat until two years ago when i left my husband
- i confess that i used to smoke cigarettes in high school/college because they helped me poop
- i confess that i used laxatives for a few months before college
- i confess that i binged and purged for a few months the first few months of college (hmmm, there's a theme here....btw college was 15 years ago for me)
- i confess that i want to weigh 125, which people think is way skinny i'm 5'6", it's a healthy BMI) but that's where i feel the strongest and fastest and most confident
1) I fear that when I lose the weight, I still won't be happy with my life.
2) I fear that when I lose the weight, I still won't be "good enough".
3) I fear that when I lose the weight, I still won't be able to find a nice guy to date and eventually get married to.
4) I fear that when I lose the weight, I will turn into one of those superifical/*****y women that look down upon women who aren't the 'ideal' slender beauty so to speak. (I've see this happen before btw...former coworkers that were nice when they were heavier, but once they lost the weight, then made fun of other people...I fear that I will turn into one of them too when I lose the weight).
5) I fear that I will gain the weight back and people will reject me again.
6) I fear that when I lose the weight, I will still have this nagging/unfilling feeling that I'm living the 'wrong' life....that I'll continue to live a "dull" life so to speak.
7) I fear that when I lose the weight, I will attract superifical people that aren't really my friends, but hang out with me because I will be "pretty" on the outside. I won't know who my REAL friends are anymore.
8) In addition to fear #7, I fear that I will lose my current friendships due to possibly triggering insecurities in others once I lose the weight.
9) I fear that when I lose the weight, which has always been a goal of mine since I was a girl, that people will continue to be mean to me (this is more so a fear towards my extended family members who always get on my case about my weight).
10) I fear that when I lose the weight, I will still feel lonely inside. I just want to feel unconditionally accepted and wanted....a sense of community...my friendships in life have never really lasted and I'm the type of person who strongly values geninue friendships.
Edited: I just thought of some other weight loss confessions...
11) I confess that I secretly want a particular coworker to fail with maintaining her weight loss because she is so snooty to me.
12) I confess that even if this particular coworker wasn't snooty to me, that I would still want her to fail at her weight loss.
13) I confess that I look up old high school classmates on Facebook to see if they got fat. If they are bigger than me, then I DO feel pretty. I feel SO ashamed for admitting that fact about myself.
Last edited by FreeBird3; 01-03-2011 at 05:48 PM.
Reason: Adding other confessions
