I'm worried my family won't be accepting of the new me. Less my new way of eating and more my (soon to be) new body. I've always been fat, and when I've lost a decent chunk of weight in the past, many family members have been almost hostile about it, like they don't want me to be thinner. I don't understand, but I'm not going to let them prevent me from reaching my goals. Anyone else have family like this?
I am kind of having a similar issue with friends. Not necessarily that they're being hostile, but I think that theyview me as being antisocial when I skip out of hanging out with them/going to happy hour, etc. in order to go to the gym, or I decide not to go because it won't be possible to make wise food choices. For example, they had a comfort food potluck yesterday, and I declined to go.
I like hanging out with them and everything, but it seems like our socializing seems to be centered around food.
Last edited by grneyedmustang; 02-26-2012 at 02:34 PM.
I confess that it is so hard to get motivated when you are the only person motiviating yourself.
I confess that I put my two beautiful boys ahead of what I need.
I confess that I am embarrassed about how I look and it makes me a lot more quite around other people.
I confess that I can be lazy.
But one thing I think that I have learned lately is that if I want to lose this weight everyone will have to get out of my way cause I am not stopping until I get my big a** to become a little one in a bikini for this summers boating season.
I am READY to be skinny again.
* I'm scared I can't maintain. I've lost the weight more than once but only kept it off for a few years. I want to be thin FOR LIFE
* I'm terrified my eating/food issues will be passed along to future kids
* No matter how much my boyfriend says I'm hot and exciting in bed all I can see is a fat girl. I HATE THAT!!! IT'S NOT FAIR! And such a slow process to destroy.
* Being smart and successful isn't enough for me to feel 'good about myself'. I want to be smokin' hot too.
- I wish I was able to not eat - can you have just a little bit of anorexia? I used to have discipline but no longer
- I hate going to the gym & getting all red faced & sweaty, while a skinny girl with a full face of makeup & dressed practically in lingerie will put the treadmill on like 2mph and read a magazine
- I hate it that my sister who has always been overweight is catching up to me... I'm a bad person
- I hate me. I hate my fat tummy that jiggles, I hate my giant thighs that burn holes into my jeans, I hate my cellulite that looks like the moon surface
- I don't feel attractive so I'm not as open to sex. My poor husband...
- I stare at what the skinny people at work eat to see what they are doing/eating... Do you know?! They eat ice cream & cake & treats all the time! I hate being one of the only people in their mid-30's working with late teen/early 20's.
- I remember being skinny & wondering what was wrong with me for ever letting myself get fat... Know what? I let myself get fat AGAIN! Gosh, I'm so annoying!
I am kind of having a similar issue with friends. Not necessarily that they're being hostile, but I think that theyview me as being antisocial when I skip out of hanging out with them/going to happy hour, etc. in order to go to the gym, or I decide not to go because it won't be possible to make wise food choices. For example, they had a comfort food potluck yesterday, and I declined to go.
I like hanging out with them and everything, but it seems like our socializing seems to be centered around food.
**oh my goodness YES!!! My family goes out to dinner for celebrations, if anything bad happens, or if nothing happens. And they constantly push food on me. And no matter how many times I say no they say "it's just xyz, you can have a little bit right? That won't hurt your diet". I want to shout "YES IT WILL HURT ME!!!". So I choose to not o out as well, which hurts people's feelings. I'm trying to get them to GO DO something instead of eating out. Go bowl, shopping, movie, hike, something not centered around food. It's really hard to do the right thing.
<<- I stare at what the skinny people at work eat to see what they are doing/eating... Do you know?! They eat ice cream & cake & treats all the time! I hate being one of the only people in their mid-30's working with late teen/early 20's.>>>...
Yeah, it's annoying to watch them eat what they like. I worked with a girl in her early 20s and she was painfully thin, ate whatever she wanted. I guess she's just lucky... but I suspect if they continue eating that way with all treats and such and no exercise, it will eventually catch up with them when their bodies slow down!
I confess I'm excited but also terrified of reaching my goal weight. I've been dieting on and off my entire life and am worried I won't be able to maintain.
I confess I'm also afraid that once I reach my goal weight, I still won't be proud of myself or satisfied.
I confess I am jealous of my husband who is half my size and can eat whatever he wants and not gain an ounce.
I confess I secretly pay attention when my husband and his male friends point out some chick that is "smoking hot" when they think I'm not listening and immediately compare myself to her.
I confess I haven't been on a treadmill in over 10 years. I fell off one as an overweight teenager in a crowded gym in front of a bunch of ridiculously fit and skinny people. No one even slowed down to see if I was okay. I am more comfortable on ellipticals or bicycles.
I confess I've convinced myself that this time is different because I'm trying to not only lose weight but be healthy too, even though I know a lot of the reasons that drove me to my breaking point are vain and superficial.
I confess I still smoke way more than I should. I want to quit and hope to slowly taper myself off, but I know I will be tempted to eat more when I do. I know smoking is one of the things that is holding me back in building up more stamina and endurance.
I confess I feel guilty because 7 years ago, I looked at my obese sister in law and told myself I would never get to that size. Little did I know, 5 months ago, I was there.
I confess, at age 23, 5 months ago, I tipped the scales at 302.2, the heaviest I've ever been.
I confess I've lived in stretchy sweat pants for the past year or two, because I've been planning to start losing weight and don't want to go out and buy a bunch of clothes in a size I don't plan on staying at.
I confess I've lost 35 pounds on my own in the last couple of months, just by calorie counting, eating clean, and exercise, after years of trying WW/Jenny Craig off and on, and still don't think I'm losing it fast enough.
I confess I work out 6-7 days a week (in a typical good week) and still don't think I'm pushing myself hard enough.
I confess I tend not to push myself 110% in the first phase of my diet because I'm afraid of plateauing mid-way through and not have any ideas of what I could do to overcome that hurdle.
I confess I almost passed out on my elliptical at home last week and had to get off and I beat myself up over still having 3 minutes left on the programmed workout. I even tried to psych myself up into getting back on it, until I got dizzy again when I went to stand back up, and knew that was my body's way of saying "That's enough for tonight." 10 years ago, as an unhealthy teenager with a very distorted view of my own body image and of how to lose weight I would've forced myself to get back on it.
I confess as a teenager trying to lose weight, I'd only allow myself a few grapes, a cracker, and a diet soda, and then work out for 2-3 hours every night. Naturally, I lost a ton of weight but I almost killed myself doing it.
I confess I am terrified to end up like my mother. Despite being relatively a healthy weight for her height, she struggled with her own body image for most of her life. Before I was born, she became anorexic and bulimic to the point of having to have her front teeth replaced because the enamel wore away from all the purging. When that wasn't a wake-up call enough, she became addicted to diet pills and ended up in a coma for a week. She was in and out of rehab facilities and therapy for years, until the last 10 years of her life, she let go trying to fight the battle and ate whatever she wanted. She died 2 years ago at age 57 of pancreatic cancer, still not believing deep down that she was beautiful.
She worked so hard to help me lose weight (stocking the fridge with healthy foods, paying for expensive gym memberships and exercise equipment, paying for programs like Jenny Craig/WW, holding my feet when I did sit-ups even when she was exhausted from work, and gently telling me when to put down the sweets) and maintain good self-esteem by refusing to let me see her unhealthy habits and building me up when I was down, because she didn't want me to end up miserable like she was. I'm afraid if I don't lose this weight the healthy way, the way she wanted me to, that I will have failed her.
I confess the large numbers of weight I still have to lose intimidates me, but seeing the before and after pictures of real people who have lost more than me is reassurance that it can be done.
I confess I would love to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser, but would be too embarrassed to have my starting weight announced to the world, and have my weight loss journey play out on national television. I know after the show, I wouldn't be able to escape the food police.
I confess I have a collection of pictures of different celebrities in a folder on my computer that I use for inspiration when I don't feel like working out, just like I did when I was a teenager. The only difference now is the celebrities' bodies are a bit more realistic/attainable and less airbrushed.
I confess I don't enjoy going out with friends and having parties at our new house like I should. With all the food and alcohol and lack of activity, I end up feeling guilty. I'd much rather workout and have a successful weigh-in the following day. I'm going to have to find a balance.
I confess I get embarrassed when ordering at a restaurant, even if it's a healthy choice, because I feel like the waiter/waitress is judging my choices.
I confess I refuse to take new pictures for Facebook until I get closer to my goal weight.
I confess I don't reveal all of my secrets of how I've lost the weight that I have and workout tips to a former friend that is also trying to lose weight, and I justify it by telling myself, "It's common knowledge. She would know too if she would just do the research that I had to." As catty as it is, I still harbor some resentment towards her for using me for so many years to make her feel better about herself. I was always the fat friend and I know, based on comments she's made in the past (hence why she's a former friend), that she had me tag along cause she thought I was beneath her and that with me standing next to her, she looked 10x better. I mentioned doing kettlebell workouts in a couple of my Facebook statuses and she recently messaged me to find out more about it and how I was doing with it. Having known her for well over a decade, I sense she messaged me about it to see if I had become a threat (lost more weight than her) and to make her feel better about herself once again. She's been trying to lose weight the unhealthy way, expecting some quick fix miracle, so I just gave her the short version of "Calories in, calories out. Diet and exercise." It's the truth so I don't feel all that guilty but I also feel like that's something she would do.
I confess I compare myself to one of my skinny best friends that my husband and his friends find extremely attractive. I shouldn't, because she's not my measure, but back freshman year in college, she and I bonded over our extra weight and our experiences with weight loss. Unlike the former friend, she's very sincere and proud of the weight I've lost, but since then, she's lost a lot of weight in the last year or two (granted it was from heavy partying) and absolutely exudes confidence now. I want that and I know I can have that too if I just work hard enough. Even better, I know I am going about it the healthy way and will more than likely (hopefully) keep it off.
I confess I've been putting off the physical education class I need to graduate until my senior year, which by then I will hopefully have lost a lot more weight. I was overweight in elementary school, middle school, and high school. I'd like to not be the biggest girl in the class for once in my life.
I confess that my sex life with my husband has suffered because of my weight gain in the last two years. Back when I was a party girl (an overweight party girl, but a party girl nonetheless), I used to insist that I was comfortable in my own skin and nothing could make me feel otherwise, but I realize now that was my way of deflecting how I truly felt about myself deep down.
I confess I don't want to get pregnant after I lose all the weight because of what it will do to my new body. I started out by telling close friends and family that I wanted to get fit and ripped and enjoy my 20's like I should before my husband and I decided to have children, but now that I'm putting in the work, I am reluctant to let it all go again that easily. I understand that just because you get pregnant doesn't meant you have to become a whale - that you can still exercise lightly while pregnant and bounce back after the pregnancy, but with my food addiction, I'm scared that once I get it off, I will be reluctant to even put a little bit back on.
I confess now that I'm gaining the knowledge that I need to lose weight and become healthy that I've become one of those health nuts that I used to hate - telling my friends all about how to see results. I try to keep my mouth shut unless someone asks me.
I confess I become secretly angry when I see my husband's best friend feed his already overweight 1 year old pieces of McDonald's fries and KFC's mashed potato bowls or reward him for being quiet with food. It's none of my business so I keep my mouth shut, but it makes me sad to know the habits they're teaching him and what he will have to go through (what I went through) as he gets older.
I confess I think about the skeptical looks I get from family members and friends about my diets for motivation, when I'm working out and don't feel like finishing the workout.
I confess I drink way more diet soda than I should.
I confess I allot wiggle room in my daily calories for a sweet treat to keep me from driving myself up the wall.
I confess I'm so disappointed that since my major weight gain in the last couple of years, that I can't fit into my favorite pairs of jeans anymore. I used to live in jeans! I am determined to fit back into my jeans again in the next couple of months.
I confess that I weighed myself for the first time in 2 years, 5 months ago. I had convinced myself that if I didn't know the real number of how much I weighed, it wasn't a real problem. I stepped on the scale in November and weighed 50 pounds more than I anticipated. I immediately burst into tears.
Whew! That felt good!
Last edited by xMissTinax; 03-10-2012 at 04:59 AM.
I secretly confess
1. Im worried my husband will lose more wight than me
2. i worry I will die before my kids have kids of there own.
3. If I had the money I would go get surgery and take the easy way out and probably fail because its not the right way.
4.I love food and the taste and this diet is hard on me but I try not to show that.
- that i'm NOT going to succeed at losing all the weight...ive never been able too, although ive never been committed for this long of a time though
- that i AM going to succeed at losing the weight...for several reasons
i'm not at ALL sure how to handle attention from men...im very shy and uncomfortable in most situations...i fear that i'll lose weight and have to handle that even though i'm married
i'm afraid that i will find myself attracted to someone else, that i will let down my guard, that i will make a mistake while i'm married
i'm afraid that i will have some sort of mid-life crisis if i lose weight...if i focus on myself, MY needs, MY wants, MY interests...and realize that perhaps i'm not so happy with this endless cycle of cooking, cleaning and laundry...that by putting myself and my health first, i will somehow forget to put my kids and husband first instead
ive been fat my entire life...i'm not even sure who i will be if i'm thin...it's weird...i feel like i will have to deal with alot of things that ive never stopped to deal with...like the loss of various people and relationships that have happened throughout my life...if i stop "being busy" i will have to deal with those things
- I am terrified that my daughter will end up like me - with weight problems and food issues. That is a huge motivator for me right now. She's too young to understand any of that right now, and I NEED to "fix" myself before she gets old enough to understand.
- I am so incredibly jealous of people I know who have lost weight and kept it off with no real issues. No yo-yoing, no obsessing over every morsel they put in their mouth, no struggles with binging and overeating like me.
- If I weigh myself and it's not a loss, I beat myself up about it all day and consider it a failure, even though I KNOW that weight can fluctuate a lot from day to day and even hour to hour.
- I am one of those people who only posts pictures of myself on FB from the neck up, so the people on my friends list who I haven't seen since I got fat won't know I've gotten fat. Most often, the pictures are taken from above me, in order to minimize my double chin. I know I'm not fooling anyone, but it makes me feel better.
PinkLotus - I am so with you on your confessions! =)
I have struggled with weight for a long time & I'm not totally convinced those people who seem perfect are not having their own issues. I know one of my super duper skinny friends has never had weight issues but then I NEVER see her eat, like ever. I've known her since elementary school - I think she's got issues, just not as obvious.
I too beat myself up when my weight goes up from day to day. I have tried to limit myself to weighing in only once a week - that way I see less of the yo-yo due to water weight and the pull of the moon on my butt. but I often weigh myself daily & break my own rule. like today - i weighed in and it said i gained a pound. which is mathematically impossible since i ate maybe 1500 calories. so I make myself think it through. when I do the math & see that it is impossible that i actually gained fat & then I feel better. it was the massive amounts of salt in my food that increased the number on the scale.
I avoid pictures too ! In fact i don't have a photo of my start weight since i would hide from the camera. Now i kinda wish i had one so I could see the difference.
I can order water at a restaurant or bar with anyone and not care...except my family. I hate that around them I get so weak-willed, I don't even want the food and yet I feel so self-conscious around them. But I think that there is progress-I will order soup tomorrow (no healthy options there) when I see my father and just eat my homecooked dinner when i get back. No matter what anyone says.
Sometimes I love to go online or in stores to look at clothes and think of what I would wear if I was lighter, but other times it makes me super frustrated - this is one of those times lol.
I try to be patient with my weight loss but I am not. I really want to be in a bikini by summer.
Vanity motivates me a lot.
Sometimes I can't believe the way I used to eat. Even my planned cheat days don't hit up to the 4000 cal or more I used to eat.
Sometimes I take my walks out on Friday nights and I see people going out and on dates or whatever, but people of all sizes go out, so I have no idea why it makes me sad. Maybe its because I let size shut me down.
DollyMichelle-I can relate-I haven't had a proper pic of myself in like 4 years lol. Other than pics where everyone is posing and I have to be there and you can get I am uncomfortable as heck!! haha
I do regret that I can't post a real starting weight pic too.
EDIT-I hate that people think that I am insecure (I don't talk about it, but its so glaringly obvious in the way that I hold myself and that I never dress up/go out) and they think its my face because they prefer heavier figures over smaller ones, so I know if I say something they'll say I won't need to lose-not to do it etc. But this journey sux enough as it is, and I need to maintian mental strength as it is lol-so I keep quiet, but sometimes I want to shout it through the roof.
Last edited by pixelllate; 03-16-2012 at 08:55 PM.
Its easier for me to cut out foods than have them in moderation in my life. Maybe its a cop-out, but I try and I try and in the end I have had to cut out refined carbs, grains, beans, sweets, most fruit-I am seriously sugar sensitive no matter how natural it is. I mostly eat meat, eggs, fish, veggies and with spices and condiments (but I do watch the cals on the condiments to make sure I am not going over). Maybe some cod liver oil.
I hate that I defend myself automatically before anyone even says anything.
but I often weigh myself daily & break my own rule. like today - i weighed in and it said i gained a pound. which is mathematically impossible since i ate maybe 1500 calories. so I make myself think it through. when I do the math & see that it is impossible that i actually gained fat & then I feel better. it was the massive amounts of salt in my food that increased the number on the scale. 
