He knew about my emotional issues way before coming to TN. The reason he didn't come sooner is because of me, I was too ashamed of me and that I had lied to him. But last year he just finally said it was enough and he was coming. Before he left NY, I did tell him I was 300+ pounds though I honestly believe he thought I was being dramatic. Then while he was on the road headed to TN, I sent him a pic of me to his cell phone. This was in plenty of time for him to turn back and go home and not come to get me.
Thank you so much for the support and prayers, I need them and appreciate them, Lori
Michelle, I just wanted to offer you some extra ! I have been thinking about you all day and for a few hours it has started bothering me that I'm sure you are feeling bombarded or even attacked in a way here. I remember that feeling... all my friends (when I still had them!) and family (again when they were still allowed to be a part of my life) telling me that my ex was dangerous and I needed to get out, it was horrible because I was so in love with him and was sure I could change him. It took me opening my own eyes to make me see what was wrong, but all that time that others were telling me he was no good or what ever really didn't do much more than agrivate me and even push me even further into his clutches.
Know that I as well as everyone here are all here for you no matter what you decide, and only want what is best for you.
Also.. a "note" to Cheryl. It is possible for a relationship to work and even to flourish when one is a stay at home parent. Hubby never ever tells me that the money is his, he never even buys anything without my permission... even if it's a pack of gum. He tells me over and over that I'm more valuable to him and the kids here at home than I would be if I was out of the home all day bringing home a paycheck. He also never holds it over me at all that we live on his families farm etc. It's all ours equally, but I am sure that we probably aren't the norm.
You are so welcome doll, if you need ANYTHING please don't be afraid to ask! As President Obama said today in his speech to the school students... "Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength.." (I think I got that all right we watched it today for school.. we homeschool).
Also, The YWCA usually has lots of resources for women in bad situations. It looks like the closest one to you is 2450 Van Vranken Ave # E38, Schenectady, NY 12308, (518) 372-4895
http://www.americanhumane.org/human-...-shelters.html - there is a phone number and an e-mail here for people who will help you either find a shelter that will let you bring your doggy or will help you find another way to keep the doggy safe while you get on your feet.
Originally posted by findingfawn Also.. a "note" to Cheryl. It is possible for a relationship to work and even to flourish when one is a stay at home parent. Hubby never ever tells me that the money is his, he never even buys anything without my permission... even if it's a pack of gum. He tells me over and over that I'm more valuable to him and the kids here at home than I would be if I was out of the home all day bringing home a paycheck. He also never holds it over me at all that we live on his families farm etc. It's all ours equally, but I am sure that we probably aren't the norm.
ff,
I was not putting down being a stay at home parent. I was one for 13 years and would do it again. I am glad that all is your equally and hope that you are the norm. That should be the norm. I think that our problem probably came more from the alcohol than anything else. Living with an alcoholic has its own set of problems. All our problems got much better once he quit drinking.
Something I just thought about after reading all these posts and all these wonderful resources that everyone has provided for you...be sure to clear your search history after you go to those websites.
Okay, someone made me feel better so I reopened this thread.
i'm glad someone made you feel better and you reopened your thread.
I havent had a chance to finish reading through all the posts. but i do understand the phenomenon of when someone opens up themselves to people they do feel very vulnerable to what people say.
i just wanted to give you kudos for allowing yourself to open up to us and sharing what is on your mind.
sometimes the fact of just writing out whats bothering you. can help with the healing process. it helps to organise your thoughts and provide a vessel to allow the negative feelings out.
That should be the norm. I think that our problem probably came more from the alcohol than anything else. Living with an alcoholic has its own set of problems. All our problems got much better once he quit drinking. 
