Maintaining Me

Gosh.

Several hours of work last night.  I am so glad I decided to ’swap’ the rooms out - I never would have found half the junk I did if I had simply moved DS6 into DS12’s room.  And Renee, I can sympathize with your cat situation.  I couldn’t believe what I found from the ferrets.  I am very upset with them right now.  Enough said about that.  My garage is JAM PACKED with furniture - as in, you cannot even WALK THROUGH it right now.  Garbage is overflowing everywhere (and MBFF’s hubby took 3 black contractor bags of garbage with him to discard last night!).  But, DD’s furniture is in the middle of her room (room being painted tomorrow) and the closets are done, and the boys are basically just awaiting their furniture arrival on Tuesday.  Their new TV is set up, looks very nice.  DD’s arrived yesterday (got her the cutest 22″ pink lcd) and she hasn’t even seen it yet.  I made a joke at the dinner table that there is no Christmas this year after all the money we spent on the room swap, and DD said, “But Mommy, at least you don’t have to pay any money because Santa brings our stuff.”  Uh huhhhhh, of course sweetheart.

I also spent a 1.5 hours - 2 hours steam cleaning the carpets in DD’s new room/DS12’s former room.  I am really mad at him.  I am going to do another run through this morning so it has 24 hours to dry before the painter comes.  Moving on.

I went to bed at 1 am, and was up at 6 am and just couldn’t sleep because I had ALL these thoughts running through my head of what needed to be done.  I laid there until 7, then finally got up and decided to clean out my closet (a huge disaster area … not dirty, just too much stuff everywhere).  I have a huge box and several bags of MORE stuff to get rid of.  I think in September I am going to do a yard sale and make some Christmas $.  Yard sales are a LOT of work, I need to make sure it will be worth it.  Anyway, now my closet is cleaned out (1.5 hours, not bad) except for the upper shelves.  That is mostly stuff I store - old cards, kids artwork, etc. - that is not going anywhere, just needs to be organized.  That can wait for another day.

Last night Chinese I had a little chicken w/broc, peppersteak, white rice, and 4 bite size pcs or so of sesame chicken.  And half an egg roll.  I could have done without the sesame chicken, but I am pretty sure I burned those calories off.

I was aiming to do a workout this morning.  Ha.  I will reallyyyyyyyyyyyy need to talk myself into it.  Painter doesn’t come until 11 am tomorrow (which, btw, concerns me that he will get this done, but whatever) so at least I have some time in the AM to myself to workout.

After lunch, we are heading out for the last few things … new blinds, one more set of sheets (need orange! for DS6’s Mets bed) and then some school clothes.  After shopping, we are picking up DS12’s friend for a sleepover.  It is actually MBFF’s little brother (14 yo).  His mom will be away tonight and she asked if he could stay over.  Since DD’s room won’t be lived in until Monday, I may have the twins sleepover with me tonight.

Great.  Another night of no sleep.

9 am and now I am getting sleepy again … now that I need to go make breakfast and start my day.  Figures!

Friday, at least.  Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Yesterday we got a delivery at work.  It was from Dean and Deluca, a big box, from R.  It was 2 babkas and a tin of B&Ws.  Did I already mention this?  I am losing my mind, lmao.  Anyway, I had 1 cookie, then I had a few more bites throughout the day.  They are small ones.  Babka, the chocolate one, is my weakness.  I ate a little less than half a slice of each flavor, sliced the loaves up, and the froze them.  Go me!

Dinner was salmon and two different veggies - broccoli and carrots.

Went to kickboxing and had a great class!

Today’s Food:

• Breakfast: Egg Beaters on EM, coffee
• Snack: Peach
• Lunch: Lean Cuisine Panini
• Snack: More Fruit
• Dinner: Chinese food … (chick w/broc for me, white rice, nothing fried)

No exercise class, but moving furniture around tonight and working on rooms, that should count for something!

Tomorrow morning I need to clean the carpet in DD’s new room (will probably start this tonight if I can), do a workout DVD, then head to the mall in the afternoon.

Work has been slow lately but new projects are ramping up and already stressing me out a bit.  It’s either dead or insanely crazy!  No comfy in between.

Okay ladies, don’t have a lot of time today.  Next week when the rooms are all done, I will post some pics.  HUGS!

What did I write in the last couple days that has me suddenly getting spam comments about s*n*o*r*i*n*g?? Lol!  My lame attempt at not getting more spam on it.

Getting here late today, but got a lot of work done so far.  Also set up bunk bed delivery … the underbed storage is out of stock (1st salesperson said it was in stock, second call said it wasn’t, third call said it was, fourth call said it wasn’t again, frustrating!) so it will come Tuesday and then the underbed storage won’t be here for a couple weeks.  MBFF’s hubby is going to help me move stuff around tomorrow night: bringing the old BB to the garage, putting DD’s furniture in her new room (but not set up, will be in the middle as the room is being painted Sunday), getting DS6’s headboard out of the room and into the garage … so the boys will basically be sleeping on mattresses on the floor for a few days until the bed arrives, but that is the way we need to do it because I don’t have anyone to move the stuff out for me next Monday or Tuesday.  Doesn’t matter, they will think it is fun, lol.

Chicken was terrific yesterday.  Food was all good and on plan, did my Get Chiseled DVD, more room cleaning , AND cut the grass.  WI this morning was down another pound at 148.6.  I think I am meant to stick with the Firm, lol. 

Food:

• Breakfast:  EB on EM, coffee
• Snack: Small (regular cookie size, not large) black and white cookie
• Lunch: Homemade chicken salad, yum
• Snack: FRUIT!
• Dinner: Salmon and veggies

Exercise is Kickboxing class tonight.

Tomorrow is exercise day off, but not really, because I will be moving furniture.  I am ordering Chinese for everyone since they are helping me do stuff … but I will be okay, I just get shrimp with broccoli.  No ‘formal’ exercise.  Saturday I will do a DVD before we head out school shopping.

Things have been okay lately with MBFF.  Some of the things I discussed with the T. the other day were enlightening, why she is the way she is, some very unhealthy habits she has that I seem to fall into the trap of.  I am going away in 18 days and she doesn’t even know yet because I don’t know how she will react, so that sort of sucks some of the fun out of it.  My mom, my family, my other BFF, my therapist, my boss … everyone else knows, everyone else is happy for me.  MBFF is not going to be happy.  MBFF doesn’t want me to move on in life.  Sigh.  But if I remove her from the situation, everything else I feel so happy about, happier than I have in a long time.

When I think about talking to her about it, I get very anxious and my heart rate quickens.  Am I crazy or what?  I was going to talk to her today, but then she will be at my house tomorrow night and I don’t want things to be strained, so maybe I will wait and talk to her at the end of the evening? lol … I don’t know.  I am making a much bigger deal out of this than I should.  Sigh.

This week seems to be dragging.

Yesterday was my garbage pick up day, and the receptacle is already overflowing again - in one day - with junk from DS12’s room.  And we aren’t NEAR done!  I have a tentative schedule: Saturday move out his old furniture, Sunday the room will be painted, then Sunday-Monday move DD into the room, and then we will see when delivery will be scheduled for the boys new stuff.  I will call them today.  I still don’t know WHERE DS12’s old bunk bed is going, lol.  I need to call the person who might be taking it and find out.  If not, no idea what I am doing with it.

Saturday I also need to do some school shopping. 

I did some work in DS’s room  yesterday.  Then after dinner, I fast-walked 30 minutes on the treadmill, then I went to my Centergy class.  Food was good, everything was good.  Well water was probably a little low, thinking back on it.

Today I will do a Firm DVD, tomorrow will be kickboxing.

Food:

• Breakfast: Leftover pc of Quiche (lol, it was so good, I couldn’t let it go to waste)
• Snack: pc of fruit, brought lots with me
• Lunch: Tuna
• Snack: More fruit
• Dinner: Roast chicken, carrots, something else

Yes, I am making roast chicken on an 85 degree August day, lol.

More work to do in DS’s room tonight.  Have to get this cleared out entirely by the end of the week.

Have a wonderful day!!!!!!!

I would have been a new aunt again, sort of.  Today XH called to share the news that his sister is pregnant with her first.  I swear, I already knew.  Last weekend the kids were over and they went on rides which XSIL didn’t go on, and XSIL was resting in bed at like 8 pm when I spoke with her, saying how tired she was and how she didn’t know how I did it - and I would have bet money that she was pregnant.  Just 3 mos along so she is finally telling people.  I am happy for her.  The kids are so excited to be “big cousins” … they only have one other true cousin, my brother’s daughter, who lives in Florida and they have only met one time.  I am also a little sad … new baby, not really my family anymore and XSIL and I don’t have the greatest relationship.  We get along just fine, but in the end regardless of who did what wrong, her loyalty lies with her brother.  I can imagine the crap he spun about me anyway to get people to feel bad for him and to justify cheating … well, I don’t need to imagine, I already know, but that’s another story.

Therapy yesterday was the best ever.  I left feeling really good.  I think now she is finally talking to me more - at first it was just me going on and on and her listening, nodding, taking notes … now we are really getting into things and discussing things and she is giving me ideas and things to do, ways to handle things, etc.  My awareness level has grown so much from what it used to be, things I do as “protective measures”, these behaviors I have … I used to think they were justified and now I realize they are just defense mechanisms and I can realize that WHILE I am doing them.  Now I just have to learn how to stop, lol, which will be a lifelong process.  We did a little of the “ideal parent” scenario she wants me to work on too, which was a little sad.  After dinner, I put my ipod on and sat on the back patio and let myself grieve a little over an incident I recalled at therapy.  I didn’t ignore feelings to get things done inside, I didn’t feel guilty sitting on the patio instead of doing laundry, dishes, or a workout.  I just let myself be, and it was good.

I also had a very good - though very hard - conversation with R later that evening.  Some things my therapist told me I really needed to share, and I did it.  At first I felt worse during, and a little after, sharing them … but this morning I woke up feeling very good about it, and a little freed, realizing that I cannot control or manipulate the situation.  I can be honest and just let God handle it and take it away, I need to let go of things.

Whew.  Heavy stuff, even if it might not make sense here, lmao!

Today, today, today … umm, working, working on cleaning out DS room, paying some bills, and Firm DVD.  Btw, today I WI (mid-Tom) and was down a half a pound.  I swear it has to do with the Firm, lol!

Today’s Food:

• Breakfast: PB&J on multigrain english muffin, coffee
• Snack: Peach or Banana
• Lunch: LC Tortilla Crusted Fish
• Snack: Other pc of fruit
• Dinner: Light hot dogs on the grill, veggies, unsure of other side

Exercise: Firm DVD or Yoga class, or both?  Nah, probably not.

Okay, will return to comment in a bit.  Have a fabulous day!

I went to bed at a decent time last night … around 10:30ish … and then was up at 1:15 for almost 2 hours, lol.  I read, filed my nails, watched some Michael Jackson updates … you know, the things everyone does at 2 am when they can’t sleep? lol.  So of course when the alarm went off at 7 am I was NOT happy.

Then, to top it off, I arrived and work and realized I left my coffee on the kitchen counter!  Grrrrrrrr!  On a day I really needed it.  In the elevator I was thinking how nice it would be if my boss had stopped for his tea this morning and bought me a coffee, and wouldn’t you know it, I opened my office door and a nice hot toasted almond coffee was on my desk.  Yes!  It is going to be a good day after all!

Today is a quiet work day.  Just writing up some documentation and a performance improvement plan for a not-so-cooperative employee.  Therapy at 5 pm.  My stomach just flipped.  This is session #4, and I still am nervous and queasy at the beginning of each time.  I am always glad I went, after the fact, lol.  Today may be an exercise work day off, or just treadmill in the evening.

Today’s Food:

• Breakfast: Toaster strudel, coffee
• Snack: Apple or Peach
• Lunch: Ham on Honey Wheat bread
• Snack: Other pc of fruit that I didn’t eat for morning snack
• Dinner: Not sure, forgot to defrost something.  Will be something healthy though.

Tom arrived today also.  Yippee skippy.  Maybe this is contributing to my weird mood.  I feel a little anxious.  R is at the dr this morning, I suppose that is some of it also.  I am sure everything is fine.  Therapy, R at the dr., Tom mood, etc … this all makes sense.  I still don’t like the feeling I have though.

I am going to order myself a new Firm DVD today, a kickboxing one I had eyed some months back but then never purchased because I joined the gym.  I like the gym class too, but would like to have the DVD for an option.

My coffee is already getting low … boo.

Okay, I am going to email God (literally) and get back to work.  I read in my book last night (rather, this morning) that sometimes instead of praying she writes letters to him.  Call me crazy, but I have nothing to lose, right?

Hugs!

Too much to write and not enough time to write it in.  Kids are having their dessert now and we need to get in a game of Candyland before bed. Of all games, Candyland and Chutes and Ladders are the ones I D-R-E-A-D, but they love them, so off we go to play.

Friday we picked up all DD’s new bedding and some room decor, and ordered the DS’s bunkbeds.  Saturday I got up and did Get Chiseled DVD in the am before MBFF’s kiddos arrived (Tawnya, I was soaked afterwards, can’t wait to hear what you think of it! ;-)  ) and did food shopping.  After I had the kids, we went to a nearby lake and walked the perimeter of it, searching for wildlife, they played in the playground.  Once home I read magazine in the backyard to take advantage of the rare sunny afternoon.  Made breakfast dinner, back out to walk the rail trail, made brownies (healthy - pureed prunes for oil, hehe, little boogers didn’t even notice!).  Kids were finally asleep around 11:30, back up at 8 am.  Not too bad for a slumber party.  Muffins for breakfast, cleaned the house, then MBFF picked up kids and we went to Lowes for Pink Peony room paint for DD and chalkboard paint for the boys.  SBFF visited, and another rail trail walk with her and kids.

I am sore from yesterday, but did a weight loss pilates DVD also.

Some drama this evening with MBFF and family … what else is new.  Her brother did visited a family member she doesn’t like and she is furious.  He is a grown up.  I knew about it, and if she finds that out I am going to be guilty also and she will be livid with me.  Lol, sometimes you just have to laugh!

Kids have no camp this week, so that means I am schlepping them to work with me.  Boss’s birthday on Tuesday and we got him a gift card to Five Guys … he is going to love it. 

Tomorrow is three weeks till vacation!  Yippee!

We have a LOT of work to do … I’d like to get DD’s room painted next weekend, and the furniture delivered the next … but first that means moving DS’s old bunk beds out (I think I may have a taker on them) and cleaning out his (disgusting) room.  I swear, I don’t know where that boy gets his habits from.  Both his father and I are really neat freaks … I think he is messy enough for all of us.  He is very much a pack rat.  I told him I want a garbage bag filled each day this week - and trust me, that is not going to cover it.  He probably has every worksheet he has ever done in his desk, sigh.

Food this weekend has been okay.  I have not binged, I have not overeaten, but I did eat my cheeseburger Friday night (little one) which was worth every one of its 550+ calories. 

Back after candyland to write a plan for the week!

Happy Friday!  Yippee!

It is raining again.  Yesterday we had a brief reprieve from the rain during which I was able to cut all the grass last night, so that is done.  Also went to kickboxing and had an awesome class!  Food was good, exercise good, water good.

Today I think I am taking the kids out to eat and we may hit Five Guys (unfortunately Renee, you were right about those burgers, lol).  If I go, I will have one little burger and share some fries.  Yum.  It is an exercise day off, so after that we are going to look at some furniture.  DS12 has a bunkbed in his room but it is old, and as bribery (lmao) I am going to buy something new and nicer and move the two boys into what is now currently the twin’s bedroom, so DD will have her own room in what is currently DS12’s room … if that makes sense.  So the boys are getting new furniture and a new TV mounted on the wall, and DD will get her new room painted, new rug and bedding and girly stuff.  I think I am more excited than they are, lol.  It will be a lot of work, but we are going to try and accomplish the swap slowly over the month of August … hope to be completed by school starting.  Boys want Mets bedding and chalkboard paint on one wall.  What have I gotten myself into? lol

Tonight I have to do food shopping for the sleepover tomorrow … MBFF’s kids requested “breakfast dinner” which makes my life easy, but have to do some food shopping tonight.  So funny that I told them they could choose whatever they’d like, and THAT is what they chose.

Tomorrow I think the kids are coming at 1, so I may be able to do my 11:30 - 12:30 centergy class.

Today’s Food:

• Breakfast: Raisin Bran, 1% milk, coffee
• Snack: Apple
• Lunch: Egg Salad sandwich
• Dinner: Burger

Boss is slamming the phone around, that can’t be good.  I shall return.

Is it finally true that XH just paid his $11k arrears owed from child support?  O M G, yes he did!  Woo Hoo!  Of course most of it is already spent before it hits my account, but whew, GOOD TIMING!

Today is going to be a good day!

Yesterday was good.  DD wanted leftovers of sweet and sour chicken for dinner, so DS and I had boca chicken sandwiches and green beans. (and he had fries)   I then did my Weight Loss Pilates DVD and 30 minutes on the treadmill.  Rehung the curtains (WHO needs a man?  I mean really!?), vaccuumed, played two games of Go Fish with the kiddos.  Spoke to R who went to Chicago on business for the day and then got stuck there overnight due to all the storms.

Food Today:

• Breakfast: Egg Beaters on EM, coffee
• Lunch: Lean Cuisine
• Snacks: Apple and/or PB Fiber1 Bar
• Dinner: Kids all want chicken nuggets, so I am not sure what I am having

Exercise: Kickboxing Class

I got to work late today due to DS’s ortho appt so I need to run … but have to add, the office was something STRAIGHT out of the 60s it was hilarious!!  The Dr was very nice, but the lack of technology - NOTHING like the previous Orthos we visited - really concerns me. 

Have a fabulous, healthy day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flash flood warnings this afternoon, between one and two and a half inches of rain expected.  Guess the lawn isn’t getting cut today!

Food and exercise were good yesterday.  I was doing a Firm at home so I pulled my longest one - 500 Calorie Workout - and nearly died. :lol:  Seriously, I am convinced I do not work as hard at the gym.  I don’t sweat nearly as much, and I am five pounds heavier since I joined.  Coincidence?  Anyway … I wanted to quit but I forged through the hour.  Got all my housework done, played a game of PB & J with the kids, got my HOA work done.  Into bed late at 11:30, and then didn’t sleep very well.

Today’s Food:

• Breakfast: English muffin w/PB & J, Coffee
• Snack: Apple
• Lunch: Ham on honey wheat sandwich
• Snack: 100 cal popcorn
• Dinner: Undecided

Exercise: Crunch Yoga/Pilates DVD, plus treadmill if no grass cutting

Other To Dos: Rehang curtain rods DS6 pulled down when he dove for a ball inside the house (this kid does nothing but throw balls around all day despite me constantly telling him to do it outside! lol)

Tomorrow is DS12’s 3rd (and hopefully last!) ortho evaluation.  The first two gave totally different treatment plans (and wayyyyyy different prices) and his dentist isn’t sure on either of them and thinks I should get a third opinion, so that is what I am doing. 

Work is SO nice and quiet.  Boss is working from his vacation home for the rest of the week. 

Did anyone watch More to Love last night?  It’s basically a plus-sized version of The Bachelor.  My heart broke for some of these women … they were all so beautiful!  But some had NEVER had a boyfriend or even been on one date?  Blows my mind.  A lot of them said some very thought provoking things (on the one on one camera) about their weight, some cried, some accepted it better than I even accept my own.  One of my favorites was already sent home.  She seems so wonderful, I wish her the best. 

Okay, better get some work done.  Halfway through the week! Hugs!