OMG! I have amazed myself!

Posted by gum232 on December 15th, 2011 |Filed Under ME |

For the last few weeks, as we’ve been planning on what to make for who, I knew the day was drawing near…. to make popcorn.  The last time I ate popcorn was February 13, 2011, the evening before I started my program, finsihing off the container.  Keep in mind when I say popping popcorn that I mean from scratch.  I have a Whirley Pop that you cook with on the stove turning and popping while being able to use a minimal amount of oil.  I used to pop and eat a whole kettle full while being lazy in front of the television.  At the movies I thought it was a given that you’re supposed to get it with extra butter.  Sorry, back on track, so I knew that I was going to make my popcorn for gifting for teachers, co-workers, etc. Could I do it? Could I pop it and not eat any? Could I withstand the smell? The Crunch? The saltiness?

I purchased the popcorn kernals, a 2 pound bag, and some oil about a week ago, leaving it on the counter.  I figured if I could see it that I would build up a “resistance” against it. I had to psych myself up to the challenge. Today, while everyone was gone - I faced my nemesis!  I had all the ingredients out, bowls, bags, everything set up.  I opened the bag. Turned the stove on and poured in the oil.  I measured the corn and heard that wonderful sound of kernals hitting the bottom of the pan.  What a beautiful sound:).  I popped a few batches plain then started the kettle corn………

OMG! I have amazed myself!  I had to test the flavor so I literally got a piece of popcorn and walked it over to the trash can where I commenced to taste and chew the popcorn to subsequently spit it all out.  It tasted okay but now I do understand the saying - nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.  I’m not quite to the skinny part, but I’m not wasting what I’ve worked so very hard to do at this point. 

Realization: the one “trigger” food that I felt that I couldn’t just wait to have ever again, I don’t “need” anymore.  I have defeated the popcorn!  Not that it ever did anything against me - but I really did do some damage to my body by consuming the quantity that I did on a fairly regular basis.  I know that now.  I forgive myself.  There’s nothing I can change from the past - I must move forward. 

Mentally I am in this to win!  I am at 140 pounds lost!  Was hoping to hit 150 pounds lost by the end of the year but don’t know how that’s going to go.  Keeping on track through MANY obstacles this holiday season.  I’m still trying and staying on my program.  About 60 pounds to go…..

I can do this! 

I am doing this for me!

 


Comments

2 Comments so far

  1. dagnykight on December 15, 2011 7:54 pm

    Once again! You have already figured out something very important!!! After awhile, you develop a new perspective. What was so important to you months earlier…not so important to you anymore. Back when you used to think you’d “learn to eat it in moderation” now you just don’t care all that much! Oh sure you’ll eat popcorn again one of these days, at a time when you have a strength of confidence that it won’t trigger any behaviors you’ve grown beyond. Only you will know when that time comes.

  2. gum232 on December 16, 2011 2:51 pm

    Thanks! You know it just really is such shocker that the food that was my trigger - is no longer a trigger. I’m still just amazed. So if the one real trigger food isn’t a trigger anymore…then what is my trigger food now, or do I even have one???

    Hopefully my mindset will remain this way for the rest of my long healthy life!

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