No, not quitting. I was just thinking of watching Children of Men for some reason.

Anyway, it’s been a terrible fuckin’ weekend. Just bad all around, and of course I ate to prove it and yadda yadda. Lot of wine, processed food…but I didnt overdo it at the pot luck so yeah. Anyway, I’m not starting over with my starting over. I want to keep my experiences fresh in my mind and know what drove me to do it. I realized that I usually see myself as the calm little center of the universe while everyone else is freaking out over the smallest little nuances. often, that makes me everyone’s rock when I’m sitting their calm and they are screaming, yelling, crying and hitting things or generally just being a super downer.

But I suppose I’m on the verge of an epiphany: I’m not the calm one. I drown my woes and stress in food and games and art. Mostly food, being a stress/binge eater and all. (I can at least say I -still- havent binged in months, just eaten bad things and got a bit too full here and there mostly on drinkage.) But yeah, when the going gets tough as mentioned, I eat. I cant afford therapy, but I am going to give it some thought. The one thing I resolve to do for myself is start the fabled Streak method. I want to make MYSELF proud by starting off with a 7 day goal. Just seven days of realizing food doesnt solve problems and if I need to cool off, I still have cigarettes and FPS games or some shit. (yeah I know smokes aren’t healthy, but I am not quitting right now as they stop me much of the time from mindless snacking)

So this entry is dedicated to my streak which will be updated every night at midnight. I’m not gonna write another entry until next monday to explain how it went, but here goes:

Monday# FAIL

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses

Tuesday#FAIL

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses

Wednesday# PASS

Calories:  1455/1500  - Perfect. Met ALL goals on Spark people. Even sodium

Exercise: 30/15mins

Water: 7/6 glasses

Notes: Small mistake: ate two Wheat thin flatbreads after logging calories on SP (updated here). Still within calorie/carb/sodium range though. Probably got a tiny bit more fiber, but still. Waited too long between meals.

Thursday#

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses

Friday#

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses

Saturday#

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses

Sunday#

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses

Monday#  (!!!)

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses

Tuesday#

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses

Wednesday#

Calories:  –/1500

Exercise: –/15mins

Water: –/6 glasses