Teach a girl to fish…

Blasted video bowling.  Boblian got a Wii for the kids for Christmas. We have been “trying it out” almost nightly since Wednesday.  My left butt cheek is not accustomed to my super top secret bowling lunge, and started giving me fits on Thanksgiving Day.  Still, I continued to bowl in my living room.  Now its not just my tushy, but my knee that does not agree with my new virtual sport lifestyle.  I bought a Wii Fit - and have yet to open it as I am not sure my WiiKnee can handle it…..

So Boblian and I go grocery shopping today.  I wear these 2inch thick souled flip flops, not because I like to pretend like I’m taller (which would actually improve my BMI if I could use my height in those shoes with the weight for calculation), but because I thinks my ass and WiiKnee might feel better with all the cushion under me.  So we shop, are loading the car, and this freakin’ asshat about 5 parking spots down lauches a shopping cart toward the “return cart here” area but doesn’t watch it land.  It takes a hard right turn, as most shopping carts do when no one is steering, and is heading right for the back of this brand new car.  Now I am not a slender woman. Nor are my motor skills as athletically honed as my  brain may think.  So some how, I get my 200lb  body moving, in flip  flops, in the  general direction of the run  away cart.  I swear it was like slow motion, and I got to the cart with literally 1/8 of an inch before it would have hit.  All I could imagine was that my ass looked like my aunt’s at Thanksgiving running to get the ham outta the oven.  I could feel the waves in my fat subsiding as I came to the screeching halt where the cart was destined to meet the back of that car..  I COULD FEEL IT!  Disgusting. I turned around to see if Boblian was watching.  He wasn’t watching, he was laughing hysterically at my gianormo butt skip WiiKnee limp hustle.  The laughter increased as I hobbled back to the car like a pirate with a wooden leg.  Whatever…..

Needless to say, I should be on the treadmill in the morning.  I hope my body parts are up for it.  If not, at least I will get up early and get my food cooked.  Oh joy!