Thursday

Well hello strangers!Yes I know it has been a long, loooong, LONG time since I have posted.Lets just say it has not been pretty! I kind of fell into this funk. You would think that I would just appreciate life and all of the good that is in it right now. ~I have a wonderful husband~I have four sons whom I love so much~We all have basic good health (although mine would be better if I lost weight)~We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food on the table~hubby has a really good job~we belong to a great churchWHY am I not able to focus on the GOOD????? Why as of late have I been keeping my focus on ~my weight~Little Bears autism and his future~My severed relationship with my bio family (my inability to fix it or trust them after what they did)~Living where we do (not on our farm in the country) I HATE where we live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~second youngest son is a teen and wondering if we should put him IN a building school vs. doing sat. school at home.~~~~My BIGGEST issue and problem seems to be my germaphobia/ocd.  I am fine until ANYONE around me has the flu or stomach issues. Anyone throwing up makes me panic to such a degree that I am panicked and frozen with fear.   Sigh  I have got to learn to focus on GOOD, focus on the blessings, focus on God! I have got to STOP turning to food  for solace, comfort, and emotional reasons!  I have got to learn to eat for fuel, for real hunger, for health, and for living.  I had a good day yesterday. I walked at Ceder Point for 3 hours. I ate for health. I even tried quinoa for the first time and it was really GOOD! I made it with veggies from a farm (grilled and oh so wonderful to eat organic veggies picked that very day)I started at 215 and today I weighed in at 212. 3 pounds so far. I have to sit down and write down some weight loss goals.For now Toodles!

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