a million reasons to be thankful…
The latest sadness in the news was the crashing of the Dash 8. I was just reading some of the reports of the people who missed the planes..due to bad weather or long lines..and it makes me think, God bless for those small things..and my heart is saddened for the ones who have lost their lives, their loved ones..their friends and more. Some days instead of looking at how much a red light or a line up or a long winded customer has taken up time, maybe reflect a give a silent thank you..because we just do not know what could have come if not for that.
Today is Valentine’s day. Sitting on the couch early this am..S/O has come home from work, he is on his laptop (said he did not need one, he would use the computer in the bedroom if he wanted to be on a computer…now he is always with his laptop//ha) telling me all the things in the news that annoys him while I play happy relaxing music..Selah by Lauren Hill right now…a beautiful song..he of course does not like it. So to celebrate love, I am going to visit my Nan at her home today. I think I might bring her a small thing of ice cream and hope she eats some….and some pretty carnations…I wish I could find some pansies too…but no one has those right now. I should have thought way ahead and bought seeds last year to grow indoors to bring her on my visits…She and I share purple pansies..we used to plant them here when I moved in. the photo a few posts away have the pansies she and I bought and planted….
Nan is in a seniors home…she doesn’t want to eat anymore..dementia is almost completely taken over..but I have been so blessed that she did recognize me the last few times. After an hour she wants me to leave..she isn’t used to many visitors anymore..but I am thankful for anytime I get to spend with Nan. I grab those moments and they help fill up my memory bank for when Nan is no longer with us. I will have them to smile with..Nan brought me up for awhile when I was very little and we have always shared this kind of bond. Good or bad we have had our times…but always 
there. How can someone not be there for her in this time, whether or not she recognizes you? Nan, was born in 1914…brought up in an orphanage in England, named Mary Z…for all girls there were named Mary and then with an alphabetical way. She drove a tank during a war through the narrow London streets at night (she never drove again when she was older). Her wedding photo with Grampy, she is in her uniform. ————————>
I think she still remembers Grampy. She gets sad when you talk about him, so I try not to..but I am not sure if that is the right thing to do or not. Not trying to discount Grampy’s life or Nan’s life with him. Some things I think I make too hard and some things not hard enough. The strange Saturday musings of a person who has read CNN and been saddened I guess.
This morning I am going to head in for a weigh in….since that is what this blog I guess is supposed to be about…I am having a bit of problem right now, not getting my water in…it is sooo cold out, with the large warehouse doors by my desk and the strangeness of the head office thinking we should have the air conditioning unit on during part of the day when the temp is lower than -20 degrees baffles me…and makes it harder to drink the water. S/O said to consider drinking warm or hot water with lemon…or rose in it (BARF). I might try that. Any other suggestions with better flavour ideas? Would a slice (or chunk) of orange maybe last in it and would it still qualify as water with that??? I will have to ask when I go in for my weigh in this am…face the evil music. *gulp* I haven’t been writing in my food diary either…I need to start doing that again as well. It really does help. Obviously trying to do things myself doesn’t work. *gee I wonder how I figured that one out”..grin..
Filed under: Uncategorized on February 14th, 2009
I think dementia must be one of the most painful disorders we have. I’ve never had to face it in my family or loved ones but I know others who have. My best friend’s mother got really bad and used to scream in terror when BF went to visit her. BF was consumed by pain. She and her mother had always had a wonderful relationship and she couldn’t understand why her visits would be so traumatic. Didn’t know if she should stop going because it was so upsetting to her mother or keep going in the hopes that she’s get a lucid visit.
About that hot water…I’m with you. Yecchh! No way I could drink hot water. Maybe tea?
Patty,
one of the hardest things about dementia is that people who don’t have it end up hav ing their feelings crushed..but the issue..the real thing to remember, is that dementia does not pick and chose what or who to remember and that it is not personal based. My Nan knows she doesn;t remember things, or can’t remember words and it really bugs her…she will make a tiny fist and hit her forehead in frusteration. I think the most important thing is when I visit Nan, if she doesn’t remember me,that I do not push who i am..i am just a neighbor dropping in to see her. Gentl visit…because even is somewhere for a nano second she remembers me, it might help/comfort her. The 1st time I saw her, she did not kno wme it brke me heart and she was terrified. While some people say do not go (for my heart) how can I not? She was there for me through allot of terrible things. She changed my diapers as a baby..so I need to be there (and want too) for a special lady who deserves to have many people there for her. And if she doesn’t remember me today, that is ok…because I remember her…and love is uncondistional..evne if dementia isn’t.